I found out on accident that Yongguk had been offered a job as the lead detective of his division. I had been napping in his office when his boss had come in to talk to him. I woke up just in time to hear his boss ask him if he was going to take the job.

There was a long pause – it pleased me to know I wasn’t the only person he did that to – before he answered. “You know I can’t Sir.” He sounded disappointed. I didn’t understand why he couldn’t take the promotion. It didn’t make sense to me. “You know my situation.”

“I understand.” His boss sounded just as disappointed as Yongguk. I knew my boyfriend was very good at his job and I knew that he wanted a promotion. “Are you sure you can’t try?”

“I can’t change his schedule, Sir. I’m barely home as it is, I can’t take on the extra hours. He spends too much time alone.” I wanted to sit up and yell at him. He wasn’t taking a promotion I knew he wanted because of me. I was holding him back. It made me wonder how many promotions he had passed up because of me. “I need to spend more time with him if anything. He’s alone all the time.”

They talked for a while longer, something about work, before his boss told Yongguk to take care of me and left the room. “How much have I held you back?” I mumbled after I heard him sit down at his desk. “How many times did you pass on promotions because your boyfriend is crazy?”

“Himchan…” He was by my side in a second, but I rolled away from him. I didn’t want to look at him. I was upset. He put his hand on my waist, trying to pull me back over but I didn’t comply. “I didn’t turn it down because of your disease. I don’t want to spend more time away from you.” He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me off of the couch. I landed in his lap despite my best efforts. “I don’t like being away from you all day.”

“Take the promotion.” I wasn’t going to hold him back. He was going to take that promotion whether or not he wanted it. He was going to continue his life as though I wasn’t crazy. “Take the promotion that we both know you deserve and while you’re doing that I’m going to therapy.”

He sighed but didn’t argue with me. He knew that he wanted the promotion, he knew he deserved it. I climbed out of his lap, slapping at his hands when he tried to grab me. “I’ll have to work longer hours if I take this promotion. Sometimes I won’t come home at night.”

“We’ll make it work.” He tried to grab for me again and I barely evaded capture. “You deserve this.” I grabbed his cell phone and some money from his desk, shooting him a small smile. “I’m proud of you. I’ll call your office when my appointment is over.” I bent down and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. “You deserve this.”

He whined softly – he would never admit to it later – and reached out for me. I always liked when he was this way. I still felt important when he acted as though he didn’t want me to leave. “Don’t go?” He pouted, probably thinking that he looked as cute as me. He didn’t.

“I’ll call you when I’m done and then I’ll allow you to take me out for lunch.” I would have preferred that he go with me but I knew this was the best way to get what I wanted. “You’re taking that promotion.”

In order to make sure I didn’t change my mind I hurried out of the room and caught a taxi before giving myself a chance to think. It had been a while since the last time I had gone to a doctor’s appointment without Yongguk and even my doctor was shocked when I walked into his room. “You’re here alone Himchan?”

“Yes.” I flopped down onto the couch. I thought it was stupid that he actually had a couch in his office. I had asked him once if he used it to screw his secretary and that was why he got divorced all the time. He had gotten pissed and Yongguk had scolded me. “Yongguk got a promotion. He didn’t want to take it but I’m making him do it.”

“Why didn’t he want it?”

“Because his boyfriend sees people that aren’t there? You told him not to change my schedule so he turned it down.” I shrugged my shoulders. He knew exactly why Yongguk wouldn’t want to take a promotion. “Let’s just do my appointment.”

He nodded his head and got out the stupid yellow paper. “How was your week?”

I shrugged my shoulders. I didn’t really want to talk about it but I knew I had to do it. “Terrible. I saw Chunghee three times, the voices wouldn’t leave me alone, Yongguk and I had a fight, and I’m unbearably .” He got flustered at the last part but didn’t comment. “I feel empty and crazy. I can’t even feel sad properly.”

He listened to me complain for a bit longer and then handed me a sheet of paper. “Take that. It’ll help with those feelings.” He sounded way too chipper to be diagnosing me with yet another mental disorder. “It might take a while to have an effect, but it should help. Unfortunately he didn’t seem to have any advice for what to do about the voices or with my other problems.

“Is there a pill to make my drive go away?” I pulled my knees up to my chest and tried to smile at him. I’m sure he didn’t think it was a big deal because he had his secretary to screw but I really needed to get laid.

“Just ask Yongguk.” He shrugged as though I couldn’t come up with that myself. I wouldn’t have a problem if Yongguk was really the answer. “Take your medicine Himchan.”

He wants you to be miserable. That’s why his advice is terrible. That’s why he’s putting you on more poison.

I shook my head, trying to push the voice back. “I hate my medicine.”

“I know you do. You have to take it anyway.” He was a horrible person. I hated him. “Can I ask you a question Himchan?”

“That’s what Yongguk pays you to do.”

“If there was a way for you to give your disease away to another person, would you?”

“No.” I would never put someone else through what I went through.

“What if Yongguk would leave you unless you did?”

“Then I’d let him leave.”

__________

so here's this. i have to leave for school in twentyish minutes. dnw.
so in this chapter himchan got upset with yongguk for turning down a promotion and made him take it. he doesn't like it when he gets in the way of yongguk's life. i don't really have much to say about this chapter even though some stuff happened. you just read it so i'm sure you know what happened. also the new b.a.p stage is glorious in all it's cutesy goodness. the babies can do anything. 

hopefully some more of you will leave comments today. i would like that very much. yes good. :D