Am i just a bet??

I don’t know why I agreed to have a private dinner with Lee Sungmin 2 weeks after what happened at my clinic. I don’t know whether to feel happy that my I mean our son already knew of his father and that sungmin’s family have welcomed us with open arms and welcomed us warmly…too warmly for my taste since my mama and his mom planned a family dinner before sungmin would leave with the rest of the super junior for a series of concert tour and shows in asia.

Though I must admit, my fears about my son not having a normal life didn’t happen, the group was careful in meeting me and my son for they knew my family valued our privacy and I’m glad that they respected that. sungmin already made his way into my son’s heart and my family as well…I don’t know if that would make me happy or not…

I sighed as I gathered my things and said goodbye to my secretary who was still waiting for her boyfriend to show up. I was about to get in the car when I remembered that we agreed to have dinner at a-yi’s restaurant nearby, I just put my folders and laptop inside my car, locked it and started the short walk from my clinic to my aunt’s restaurant.

‘anyeong!’

I turned around and saw donghae smiling at me and he had a single red rose in one of his hands

I smiled and waited for him to walk beside me ‘hello…how are you donghae oppa?’ I asked him ‘what are you doing in this neighborhood?’

He smiled and glanced at his car ‘I was with shindong hyung but he had other businesses to attend to, I’ll wait for him though…and then I saw you’

‘oh I see…what’s with the rose?’ I asked him with a smile, any girl would be lucky to fall in love with this man and have him love her the way she wishes to be love.

Much to my surprise he smiled sheepishly and handed me the rose ‘its for you lin-sshi I hope its ok’

I smiled and took the rose from his waiting hand ‘thank you…why me?’

‘I don’t mind that you have a son…I can love him as my own’ he whispered

I stared at him slightly confused at what he was saying, I remained silent and waited for him to continue what he started…

‘go out with me…just once please lin-sshi, have dinner with me’ he said

I sighed and gave him a smile ‘a dinner is alright oppa, but I cant right now…I have to talk to sungmin, he’s waiting for me at the restaurant my aunt owned’ I told him

He smiled sadly and nodded ‘mianhe, am I keeping you? I’ll call you tomorrow…I hope you can give me a chance’ he said and gave me a kiss on the cheek and left

I was left staring at his retreating figure and I sighed. He is such a sweet and delightful man, but it didn’t feel right knowing I have a son and he deserves someone better, someone who can love him the way he wants to be love, I cant love him for I have given myself to someone else.

I sighed as I continued to walk and stopping once in awhile to look at shops and get some books at a bookstore. I was about to pay for my purchases when my phone rang, I didn’t bother to look at it as I handed my card to the cashier and waited for my books to be wrapped

‘yes?’

‘lin-sshi? Its me siwon, ahh where are you?’ he asked me

I shook my head and tried to organize my thoughts…what the hell is going on today?? First I ‘accidentally met’ donghae oppa earlier, why are these men bothering…well not really bothering but why are they all hmm is it safe to say ‘after’ me??

‘siwon-oppa…I’m at a bookstore, I’m getting books. Hmm anything I can do for you?’ I asked him as I got my books and went out of the bookstore

‘you’re a doctor right? Hmm I mean, well aigoo you’re a doctor for kids right?’ he asked me

I giggled and wondered what is wrong with this man, I can imagine him with his famous hand gestures when he’s nervous, the few times I spent with super junior with my son, they all become pretty close to me minus the fact that I’m still a bit doubtful about  lee sungmin, but what the heck I just have to face the fact that he’s the father of my little angel…like it or not…

‘I’m a pediatrician oppa, but are you alright?’ I asked him

He sighed ‘I have a heart problem lin-sshi’ he said then added ‘what can you recommend?’

I raised my eyebrow at what he said…a heart problem??  I just told him I’m a pediatrician not a cardiologist…men and their weird way of handling a conversation…

‘oppa, I’m not a cardiologist, you have to see a cardio for that…I’ll recommend you to someone don’t worry…are you alright?’  I asked him

‘I don’t need a doctor lin-sshi…well I might…argh! This is frustrating. Can I ask you out?’ he said

‘what?? I don’t understand…ask me out? What for?’ I asked him suddenly confused at what he just said

‘ask you out…for…hmm you’d recommend me to a doctor right? When are you free?’ he asked me

I tried not to groan in frustration as I answered him ‘what about ahh tomorrow morning, come by at the clinic I’ll recommend you to a friend of mine’

‘okay lin-sshi…we can have lunch too. Kamsahamnida’

With that said he said goodbye as I was staring at my phone…why is today suddenly went from alright to being weird…

I smiled in relief as I arrived at the restaurant only to find out that sungmin received a private room for us and told me to wait for him because he’ll be late for a bit. I stifled back a curse as I tried to smile at the waiter as he led me inside the room.

‘would you like anything Miss Lee, while waiting for Mr.Lee?’ he asked

I smiled as I sat down ‘a glass of cold water, green tea and pork dumplings…and kindly inform me if Mr.Lee is here already’ I told him

I was left inside the room and I walked towards the window, the bastard had taste I must admit, while waiting for him I kept myself busy with looking at the generous view outside and opened the window wider to let the cold night air surround me. my aunt chose a nice location for her restaurant, people can enjoy the view while enjoying the delicious oriental cuisine the restaurant offered.

I looked at the dark skies filled with a thousand of stars each one different in size and color…it amazed me that somehow after 2 years of hiding the truth from sungmin fate found a way of bringing us back together. What made me give myself to him that night? What made me surrender my all to a stranger…it wasn’t just the effects of the alcohol I’m quite sure of that….it was lust partly yes  for I wanted him as much as he wanted me…was it attraction?  Hmm he is a very attractive man that I know, the proof is the baby that we have born 9 months after that drunken night in his loving arms, but what makes me so damn mad is that he forgot that beautiful night together…maybe he remembers a few parts, but hell a woman never  forgets her first and I never did…but I never hated sungmin for it…do I love him? If that’s the million dollar question I wouldn’t have the prize money just yet…but what made him sleep with me? was it just alcohol?? I never did ask him that, for the subject was too sensitive.

‘lin-sshi?’

I turned around at the sound of his voice and told him to sit down as I walked towards the table. He looked cute in his pink white jacket, a pink shirt and white pants…he looked adorable. He smiled at me and handed me a bouquet of my favorite flowers…

‘how did you know?’ I asked him as I got the stargazers from him

He grinned and pulled a chair for me ‘your mama told me…I had to take Vinnie home to your mom before I went here, mianhe for being late’ he said

I nodded and marveled at his sweetness as a father, I wasn’t prepared for him , for he was always spending time with Vincent and it meant so much to me, it was as if he was trying to make up for the 2 years that he wasn’t there for his son which was partly my fault…its too late for regrets I know but I still feel guilty about it.

‘why don’t we eat…’ he said and buzzed for the waiter.

I let him order for our dinner for I don’t know if im still capable of eating when I have him this close yet I don’t know why the hell I feel nervous around him…hell I’ve seen him and we have a baby for crying out loud, there’s no need to be nervous.

I was about to say something when my phone beeped at incoming text message, I politely excused myself as I got it from my coat and had to groan in frustration when I saw that it was from eunhyuk oppa asking me out for dinner or coffee…

‘is there something wrong lin-sshi?’sungmin asked me

I groaned and showed him my phone and for a moment there I saw anger flash in his eyes then he looked at me.

‘what is wrong with the 4 of you?? I admit its flattering but hell first its donghae oppa, then siwon oppa called me at the bookstore now its eunhyuk oppa…are you guys competing or something??’ I asked him

He looked shocked as I mentioned the names of his hyungs or dongsaengs or however they call it in Korean I was too annoyed to even think clearly, then I remembered that night in Kowloon…it was now or never, my embarrassment forgotten I looked at him in the eye and asked him

‘tell me about Kowloon…why did we end up in bed together??’

He sighed and looked away ‘it…it started with a bet eunhyukkie made, we didn’t mean it to end that way…’

I felt anger take over my system as I looked at him with contempt and hate ‘tell me about the bet…tell me everything please lee sungmin’

A bet?? Was I just a bet to him??