A picnic and a kiss shared

‘appa!!’

I didn’t have to guess who knocked a few minutes ago for judging at the squeals of delight my son was making, I knew it was none other than his superhero…sungmin. Speaking of sungmin he was earlier than I expected, I was still wearing my robe for I got busy preparing food and the things Vinnie needed.

I was wrapping sandwiches when mama came inside the kitchen and helped me with what I was doing.

‘you shouldn’t keep your son and his father waiting lin lin…why don’t you go and get dressed, I’ll finish this’ mama told me with a smile

I nodded knowing full well I cant argue with my mother and I know she was right. I stepped out of the kitchen and saw sungmin sitting on the carpeted floor playing with his son and the kitten, looking at them I felt content. I would give anything just to see them both happy, in a perfect world maybe sungmin and I had a chance but in this lifetime…I think not.

He looked up and I felt him look at me  from my head down to my bare  toes, it made me blush thinking of those eyes feasting on my body 2 years ago…I shook my head at the way my thoughts were going.

‘you’re early’ I decided to tell him

He smiled shyly and nodded ‘I cant wait to spend the day with the 2 of you…’

‘mama…hurry’ Vinnie said impatiently and pouted at me seeing that I wasn’t dressed yet ‘mama cant wear her robe’

I giggled and gave my son a flying kiss before I ran inside my bedroom and for the first time since I was 8 I felt excited going to a picnic. I got my shorts and a white blouse and a cardigan just incase the weather would be a bit chilly, as for my feet I decided to wear pink sneakers, after making sure that I looked fine I grabbed my bag and went out of my room.

‘nice shoes lin-shhi’ sungmin said as he admired my pink sneakers…I still never got the chance to ask him why he likes pink, maybe I can ask him later

‘thanks I’ll just go get the picnic basket from mama, Vinnie why don’t you say goodbye to grandma first..’ I told Vinnie who half hopped and half ran to the kitchen to do that and from the living room we could hear him squealing and talking to his grandma for a hundred miles a minute.

Sungmin suddenly took my hand and smiled at me ‘thank you…’

My heart was doing a hula as I tried to be nonchalant about him touching my hand and having him that close, for crying out loud lin, both of you have seen each other , what difference does  it make when he’s holding your hand…

‘for what sungmin-sshi?’ I asked him

‘for being a mother to Vinnie…for everything and I’m sorry that I wasn’t there when you needed me most’ he whispered as he waved at his son to carry him

I was left speechless as he let go of my hand and gave his son tiny kisses, hell…from being insensitive lee sungmin was being quite a charmer and I didn’t know what to make of that. I sighed and shook my head…whatever happened to being in full control of the situation?

‘lin lin…are you alright?’ mama asked me as she handed me the basket

I smiled and nodded ‘yes mama, I’m fine. We’ll go ahead…call if you need anything alright? We’ll be home later’ I said as I kissed my mothers cheek and turned to look at the 2 cute guys standing near the doorway waiting for me to move.

‘I’m coming…sorry to keep you brats waiting’ I said as we finally walked towards the elevator that would take us down to the parking lot.

‘appa! Mama! I want ice cream’ Vinnie said as he played with his father’s pink beanie

I looked at sungmin and he looked at me with a smile ‘ne baby we can if mama would say yes’

Vinnie looked at me expectantly so I half heartedly nodded even if I didn’t recommend sweets for children but since I would be disappointing 2 brats if I said no…

They both shouted with glee as they got out of the elevator and ran hand in hand towards sungmin’s car. I was expecting that the white car he usually use but much to my surprise he was driving a sports car that day.

‘ohh pwetty car appa!!’ Vinnie said in excitement

‘ahh you own a Porsche?!’ I hissed at him while his son was busy inspecting the ‘car’ his appa owns

‘it’s a pretty car lin-sshi, don’t you like it?’ he asked me

I sighed and looked at me ‘its not that I don’t like it, is it advisable? We have a 2 year old with us’

He smiled and nodded ‘its going to be alright, I’m not a fast driver…come on lets go’

Like I can do something about his choice of car? I sighed as I buckled my seatbelt and checked a still hyper Vinnie who looked at the two of us with a big grin on his face, how can I disappoint my son? I looked at sungmin and nodded…

‘lets go’

**Sungmin’s pov**

I looked at my son who was now making a bee line for the swing set looking very much like a content 2 year old out for a whole day of fun and adventure.

I turned around to look at his mother who was at that moment preparing the picnic table for an early lunch. She looked ill at ease when we’re together but I knew then it wasn’t just with me…maybe, just maybe we have a chance to be together, but as I looked at her I don’t know what to do to actually make a move…my hyung and dongsaengs already did theirs, but here I am, the father of her son yet I’m still at lost for words on how to tell her how I feel…

What do I feel for her? Is it more than just a simple attraction? A responsibility? I know it’s more than those…its just an added bonus that we already have a baby…how do I make things right?

I sat beside her and she handed me a cup of orange juice ‘thank you…lin-sshi?’

She looked at me and shook her head ‘I’m not mad sungmin-sshi…its just that I don’t know how to react…or what to do’

‘we can open up to each other…I’ll listen to what you have to say’ I told her

‘I didn’t want this…I didn’t want any of this. I wasn’t prepared to be a mother, yet when Vinnie came I became and instant mother. I love him, I love him so much that I would give anything to make him happy’ she said as she looked at our little boy running to and fro busy in his own little world.

‘vinnie made me complete, Vinnie’s my life. I know it was wrong hiding him from you when you could’ve met him earlier but I don’t know how to tell you…or what to say…’

I held her hand and pulled her close to me, I felt her cry and somehow I understood her pain, I know nothing I would say would make up for her hardships when she had to raise our son alone…I don’t know what I’m feeling right now but I wouldn’t want to see her cry again, it breaks my heart…

‘mianhe…mianhe…I’m here now and I promise you would never be alone again…’ I whispered as I kissed her hair

She looked up at me, those ocean blue eyes of hers filled with tears ‘don’t make promises you cant keep lee sungmin’ she whispered

‘I don’t make promises I cant keep and when I say it’s a promise…I mean it’ I whispered back

She groaned and pulled my head down ‘shut up…just kiss me’

I didn’t need to be asked twice, I kissed her. Kissed her with all the longing I felt for her and she responded back with the same intensity I felt for her. How it felt right kissing her like that…I wish the world would just stop and I’ll remain kissing her like that for nothing could’ve ever been so perfect than kissing the woman who gave me a son…