You wince in pain as you try to push yourself up into a sitting position, as of reflex using your right hand first. Your whole body is aching, even your head. Your vision won’t stay still and you feel as though the world is spinning really fast, too fast for you to get used to. You’re dizzy. Really dizzy.

And moments ago, all you can remember is being pushed violently to the back, blanking out briefly after that.

Wanting to grab hold of your head, because it actually feels like it’s about to fall off your body soon, you bite onto your lower lip hard as a jolting pain shoots up your left arm when you try to move it. Is it broken? You look down at your immobile arm. It is. You grab your left arm with your right hand, only to be welcomed by another shock of pain.

You feel someone staring at you so you look up and when you do, the man quickly backs away and retreats into his car. You squint your eyes to be able to see the man’s face better but he manages to shut the door before you get to do so and a glass bottle falls from the door compartment. You watch as the glass bottle roll towards you, it’s an empty beer bottle. Raising your head again, you focus your eyes on the tinted window and open your mouth to shout at him when the car speeds off, leaving you dumbfounded.

A drunk driver. What a useless man.

You want to continue cursing the man for causing you a broken arm. Isn’t it bad enough that your heart is in pain?

Just then, your eyes widen. Baekhyun.

“Baekhyun!” you call out, throwing blind glances to the surrounding. You look up, dark clouds are overshadowing the once shining moon. “Baekhyun! Where are you?” you shout, trying your hardest to find him again.

No one. You see no one.

Pursing your lips hard, you push yourself up with your right hand and try to stable on wobbly legs. You hold onto your left arm as you proceed to limp ahead into the darker region. Light source. My phone! Looking down, you bury your right hand into your pocket to get your phone but it isn’t there. You throw your head back and groan. Your phone. You left it in Chanyeol’s room.

Chanyeol, his name echoes your head. Chanyeol. You need to get back to Chanyeol.

You turn away to make your way back to the hospital when you immediately stop walking. No, you tell yourself, I need to find Baekhyun.

Turning back, you accidentally step onto your shoelace which causes you to fall forward and onto your knees. You bite your bottom lips even harder, the pain is unbearable. But it is a good thing that you’re wearing jeans. You your head up, looking ahead with your right arm supporting you on the ground while your left arm hangs uselessly.

As you’re about to pull yourself up again, your right hand clench inward uncomfortably. You narrow your eyebrows and look down on the ground. The ground is wet. Why is it wet? You tilt your head up to the dark sky before dropping it down again, facing the wet patch. Did it rain? Holding your hand up, you squint your eyes again to inspect when the smell of raw blood fills your nose. You pull your right hand back, staring at it in utter shock and confusion. Blood. Why is there blood? You twist your right arm slightly and your head back to check your left arm. There’s a scratch and maybe a few cuts but the blood can’t possibly be yours.

“Baekhyun!” you shout his name once again. You start to panic. “Baekhyun, I know you’re out here! Answer me, Baekhyun!”

Staring down at the small pool of blood, your eyes trail further forward. More blood.

You try to stand up to follow the trail but to no avail. Your legs are weak. Or maybe they’re badly injured. You don’t know. You don’t care.

You just need to find Baekhyun.

So you crawl. With whatever energy or will you have left, you crawl all the way ahead, feeling the warm blood as you do. Tears start building up again, at the thought of Chanyeol and Baekhyun. How many times have you cried today? How many times will you be crying again later on? Will tears stop producing eventually? Will they ever stop?

Then, you see a figure lying motionlessly before you. Tears may blur your vision and they may burn your eyes but even so, you know very well that the body lying in front of you is Baekhyun. With a burst of energy, you crawl and pull yourself towards him. “Baekhyun!” you cry louder when you finally reach him, throwing punches against his chest after that. You don’t even realize that you’re sitting in a bigger pool of blood and the uncomfortable feeling of your wet jeans are giving you right now doesn’t even bother you as much as what you’re looking at. Baekhyun is as pale as Chanyeol, and his lips are stained with fresh blood.

He’s not moving but you’re not giving up. It doesn’t matter if your fist hurts, and it doesn’t matter if he experiences more pain than you right now, you just want him to wake up. You continue to punch him on his chest, then moving on to his stomach before slapping him across his face. You draw your bloody hand back, staring down at the bloody handprint you left on his left cheek. He coughs out more blood suddenly and you feel a little relieved at first, pulling over the back of his neck and resting his head onto your lap.

“Baekhyun!”

“Is this how you planned to murder me?” he chuckles weakly and blinks up at you, beads of cold sweat trailing down the side of his face. “I thought you said hating me was the past?”

“Yah, Byun Baekhyun! Don’t try to make jokes right now!” you exclaim with teary eyes.

“I don’t know which is worse,” he pauses, looking down at his white uniform that is stained with his own blood. Not to mention the darker spot where you have punched him several times. “Meeting God with such a horrible appearance or leaving my angel behind.” He sighs. “Guess God might love Chanyeol more than me since I look like a horrible mess.”

“What is wrong with you?” you ask exasperatedly as he shifts his gaze back to you. “You’re not going anywhere! You’re staying here, on Earth, with me. You hear me? With—“

“You?” his eyes light up and he manages a small smile. “I would love that.”

You purse your lips and look away with a sigh. Shutting your eyes, tears are forced out. “Baekhyun, I—“

“Hey hey hey,” he coos, slowly cupping your left cheek before wiping the tears away from the corner of your eye. With your right hand, you gently place it over his and nuzzle your cheek against his hand slightly. “Don’t cry anymore. Smile,” he says, showing you his gummy smile when you look at him. “I like it when you smile.”

You let out a small laugh of disbelief and roll your eyes. “Don’t you mean you love it when I smile?” you try to joke with a smile but the smile doesn’t last long. He laughs at first but his cheery sound drops as well when he sees you being sad again. How can you smile when the boy who is in love with you is almost dying? Yet, you can’t repay his feelings. Is this pity? Do you actually pity Baekhyun?

“I feel light,” he speaks again, frowning. “Mum won’t be happy about this. She wants a chubby Baekhyun. Is this what dying feels like? You get to feel weightless?”

You heave out a breath of annoyance, a tad bit angry at Baekhyun for saying such nonsense. He will not die. You won’t let him. “Chubby Baekhyun is what she’s going to get. I will feed you, goddammit!” you hiss, glaring down at him and he chuckles. “What’s so funny? I’m serious! I will force food down your throat.”

He shakes his head with another smile. A smile that doesn’t seem happy at all but forced. A smile that projects disappointment. “I will miss your cooking,” he admits and a tear involuntarily falls down his cheek. “The rice you cooked was always burnt, the noodles you made were always soggy and tasteless, the bacons you fried were never done… but they are the best food I’ve ever tasted,” he smiles, staring into space as though reminiscing the times both of you sat at the dining table together at your place. Suddenly, he shoots his gaze back to you, putting a serious expression on. “Don’t tell my mum I said that.”

You shake your head and then hit him on his chest once again and he winces slightly. You manage to laugh a little in between sobs, “Yah, Byun Baekhyun. You’re unbelievable, you know that? You’re unbelievable, ridiculous, stupid, childish, useless—“

“And in love, Eli-ah,” he cuts in, closing his eyes with a satisfying smile. “I have no achievement in life that is to be proud of but I finally manage to experience something magical. Falling in love is the best feeling ever.” He opens his eyes and locks them with yours. “Don’t you agree?”

You open your mouth but you can’t seem to say anything. You gulp. Then, you stutter, “B-Baekhyun, I—“

“I know,” he interrupts and let out a sigh of disappointment before smiling again, glancing back at you. “But I will still continue to love you even…” he trails off, looking away. “Even if you don’t love me back. Even if Chanyeol is still here and if you guys are to be together forever. Even if you kill me with your food,” he sets his eyes back to you and stares d