Your eyes shot wide open as the deafening, continuous beep rings in your ears. Tears start building and you immediately turn to your left, throwing your hands onto Chanyeol’s shoulders. You shake him violently and you try screaming his name but nothing is coming out from your mouth. He’s not waking up. He’s not responding no matter how hard you’re shaking him.

The annoying beep continues to echo and you throw yourself out of his bed, stumbling on your weak legs a few times before successfully making it to the door. You swing the door wide open with a loud bang and to your surprise, Baekhyun and Kai jolt up from the bench outside Chanyeol’s room. They were there all along, sleeping and waiting; Baekhyun obviously had the more comfortable sleep since he was lying on Kai’s shoulder.

Kai catches you by your arm as you tremble hard. You can’t breathe. Your mind is blank. No words are being formed in your brain nor are they coming out from your mouth.

Concern fills his face as he shifts his gaze from you and into the room where Chanyeol is. He quickly secures you in Baekhyun’s arms before running down the hallway to get help.

“Save him!” you finally are able to say, choking on your tears and gasping for air. “Please save him!” you beg, tugging onto Baekhyun’s sleeves before meeting his eyes. He stares at you blankly, worried yet afraid. “Save him!” you beg once more and shove Baekhyun away, falling back onto the wall.

You slowly shake your head, your back pressing against the cold wall, as you weakly slide down onto the floor. You feel your heart clenching tighter. It hurts. And you wish at that moment, that your heart will stop along with Chanyeol’s.

You form a fist and start hitting your heart several times, feeling the pressure and hearing the loud thumps as you do. Baekhyun kneels down instantly and pulls onto your wrist, asking you to stop. You feel like releasing yourself from his grip but you’re too weak to do so. You feel like pushing, or maybe kick him away but you can’t seem to do so either.

You start hitting the back of your head against the wall, hoping you will pass out quickly or just end your life. But how stupid can you be, thinking that one can just easily die like that?

Baekhyun places his hand at the spot where you’re banging your head onto and you continue to just throw your head back again and again, not noticing that Baekhyun’s face is furrowing in pain. All you can think of is Chanyeol. You want him to be safe. Why is Baekhyun protecting and looking over you when all you want him to do is save Chanyeol. Even if he’s not capable of saving Chanyeol himself, at least get someone to save Chanyeol.

You want to say something but before you get to do so, Baekhyun harshly pulls you in for a hug. You cry louder against his chest, your warm tears wetting his school uniform. Your vision begins to blur and the annoying beep seems to die down. You feel as though your senses are numbing up because you can’t even feel the fabric of Baekhyun’s clothes anymore even though you’re pulling onto it tightly.

Soon enough, Kai comes rushing back with a team of doctors and nurses behind him. They run into Chanyeol’s room and you look up, over Baekhyun’s shoulder, only to have the door slamming close before you. Then, you wait. Along with your failing senses, you wait.

Baekhyun pulls you up slowly and you involuntarily start to tremble again. He cups your face and have your eyes met his, staring at him with a horrified expression when he presses his lips onto yours violently. Your eyes widen and your senses snap back. As on reflex, you shove Baekhyun away and before you know it, you slap him across his face, hard. And the only thing that leaves you staying stunned is the loud smack that echoes in your ears and Baekhyun’s side profile, his hand pressing over his red, sore cheek.

You freeze as you stare at that tear that trails down his face. Staring down at your hand that is flushing red from slapping Baekhyun, you mutter an apology before running away from him and from Chanyeol’s room.

You reach the outside of the hospital soon and that’s how far your weak legs are able to take you to. You fall down abruptly, on both knees and both hands, hiccupping. The sky is still dark, the full moon proudly hanging in the sky.

Why are so many things happening so suddenly?

Why are they happening now?

You mind blanks. What… happened?

“Eli!” you hear your name and you heave out a sigh, dropping your head slightly. “Eli, I—“

“Go away, Baekhyun,” you command softly, still on four limbs.

“I…” he trails off. Looking down at the diary in his hands, he then inhales deeply before looking back up to you. Well, the back of you. “I love you.”

What?

You roll your eyes and scoff, “What do you know about love? Don’t make yourself sound more stupid than you already are, Baekhyun.”

“I know nothing when it comes to love,” he begins and you snort. That’s right, you agree inwardly. “But I know that I want you. My heart wants you. I… I never wanted anything or anyone this much.”

Annoyed, you push yourself up, ignoring the fact that your legs are shaking involuntarily. They’re still weak. You turn to face him and a mocking grin forms across your face. Baekhyun stares at your expression with hurtful, almost teary eyes. “I told you that I’m not worth waiting for. I warned you. I—“ you pause suddenly, eyes focusing on the familiar book in his hands. “Is that… my diary?”

He bites his lips and nods apologetically. You heave out a breath and look away from him, trying to recall where you left it. Oh. You must have forgotten to take it when you left suddenly after Chanyeol’s call. You recall placing the diary on the canteen table you sat at with Baekhyun. God, you