I woke up in a completely white room. It smelled like chemicals and that's when it hit me; I was in the hospital. At first I couldn't think of why I could possibly be here but then it all came back to me and it slammed so hard into my heart that I thought I was going to throw up. I felt my stomach and when I felt the slight baby bump still there I cried from relief alone. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I flinched. "Ren, you finally woke up... I was worried. I though I'd..."

I looked up to see JR with a worried expression on his face. He sat down on the edge of my bed and touched my face gently before pulling me into a tight hug. "I thought I'd killed you. You were lying there on the floor and you were bleeding and barely breathing and all I could think about was every time you'd ever told me you loved me and I was so scared. Damnit I was scared that I'd lost you and the baby for good." He kissed my forehead we sat there in silence for a while. 

"Two of your ribs were cracked and you have a minor concussion, but you're mostly okay. You have some unsightly bruises and the bleeding was from an outer sack breaking, but the baby is okay and you'll be fine with some bed rest and some down time." I pulled out of his embrace and pushed him away from me. "JR, I can't do it. I can't go on like this. This baby is so important to me and I want it to be important to you too. Hyung, I can't let you hurt our baby. I can't have you around him or her later on if things are going to continue to be like this between us. I don't want us to be separated though. I love you, I love you so much." He reached for me carefully and I let him put his hands on the small baby bump.

"I'll get help. I'll fix my problems, then I'll come back and be the best appa I can. I love you too. I haven't been treating you right. I've been taking out every last frustration on you, and manipulating me because you trusted me. I promise I'll change." he took my face between his hands and kissed me hard and deeply, and we vented all our anger at each other and at the situation through it. We loved each other but our relationship was toxic, and I couldn't believe it took JR almost murdering our baby for me to realize it.

The next two months were hard. I moved in with Baekho because JR insisted that we have a clean break until he finished his therapy. I cried almost every day for the first week in frustration and there was only so much Baekho could do. He was great though. He took care of me and we formed a comfortable pattern. I did all the cooking and the easier cleaning that didn't involve chemicals while he did the rest of the cleaning. We played games to pass the days and made fun of my weirdest cravings. 

Although we had fun and the pregnancy was progressing well, I missed JR a lot. He wouldn't even talk to me on the phone. And the one time I tried to visit he apologized and closed the door in my face. I dreamed of us meeting, of us having a happy family but only time would be able to tell.