(JR POV)

Things were difficult for the both of us for the next 5 months after Ren found out he'd lost our second child. He barely wanted to eat, he barely slept. Instead, he would stay up, holding Sangmin and crying, talking softly to our baby. I never knew what he was saying but he always looked so heartbreakingly sad that I was beginning to think that he was slipping into depression. Nothing I said to him was making it any better and I was considering taking him to a doctor when he made a proposal I wasn't expecting when I came back from work one night. 

"JR, I want to... I want to try again. I want to try and have another kid. I want to be done being torn up about our last child, but I feel like the only way for me to get over it is to know that I can do it. That I can give you another child." I pulled him into my arms and the back of his head. "Ren, Baby, you don't have to. I actually don't think we should try for another baby, until Sangmin is a littlle older, and you're feeling better." 

Suddenly there was a hand on my crotch, squeezing my package and I shuddered, but gently pushed him and his teasing hand away. "Baby we shouldn't. Anyway Sangmin might become upset and we wouldn't get-"

"He's with Baekho. Please JR...Please?" He moved closer to me again and bit my neck gently and put his wandering hands back where they originally were. "Come on JR, it's been a really long time." He got on his tiptoes and the shell of my ear. "Don't you want to throw me in your bed and me until I can't form coherent thoughts." He whispered seductively and I felt my knees become weak.

I grabbed the back of his head, and redirected those lips to mine, kissing him before deepening it until our toungues battled for dominance. I pushed him up against the wall and slid my hands under his sweater before hooking my thumbs into the top of his pants. 

"No underwear?" He giggled against my lips before pulling away. "I wanted to be ready for you." I smiled and led him to the bedroom, before pushing him onto our bed. Tonight was going to be a long night.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The next few weeks were even more tense, becasue despite the amazing , all we could think about was whether he was pregnant or not. We'd had a few more times in hopes he would conceive. I honestly didn't care either way, but for Ren I wanted him to get what he wanted. I was sick of seeing him sad. Last night, when he'd finally showed me expressions that weren't bitter or in pain, I was relieved, but I knew that if our attempts failed, his condition may just become worse. 

I tickled Sangmin as he layed on his back on the floor. He'd been crawling and moving around recently and I guess he'd tired himself out due to the fact that he just plopped himself on the floor and didn't move. He put his arms out and I picked him up before walking into the kitchen where I heard Ren moving around. I smiled as I saw him and he smiled back, although weakly and he poked one of Sangmin's squishy cheeks. 

"I'm going to the doctor today JR. I think I might be pregnant. I've been getting some of the symptoms. I haven't taken a pregnancy test yet, but I don't want to get my hopes up for nothing. Can you come with me?" I nodded and kissed his forehead. "Yeah, I'll ask Aron if he wouldn't mind watching Sangmin." He nodded and turned back to the stove where he was mixing some soup.

"Ren, just so you know, I don't care. I don't think you should feel bad if you're not pregnant, and if that happens, because it is a possibility, then I still love you and Sangmin still loves you and the three of us can be a family. You've already given me a beautiful son, I don't need anything else. Okay?" 

"Okay." He didn't turn around and I heard him sniffle but I knew I should just walk away and let him have his moment. Ren usually reacted negatively when I tried to comfort him or hold him when he got like this. 

I arranged for Sangmin to go to Aron's, and after we'd eaten lunch, we took Sangmin over then headed to the hospital. I held his hand as I drove, but we didn't say anything to each other.

When we got there we checked in and we were soon in the examination room with a different doctor from last time. He checked Ren's vitals and drew blood before sending it to the lab.

The wait for the lab results was tense. Ren buried his head in my chest as we waited and I rubbed his back gently and tried to say encouraging things but I doubted he was actually listening. 

The doctor entered the room with a slip of paper and a straight face. 

"Congratulations, you're 5 weeks pregnant." Ren's face lit up and he kissed me before asking the doctor a million questions about his condition and how to take care of himself and the baby better. He looked so animated and lively and the shadow that had been over him for months was finally lifting. 

We were going to expand our family, and we were going to be okay. 

Everything was going to be okay.