Sehun stumbled out from the bus with an upset and disgusted expression plastered on his face. "Sehun-ah wha-what happened?" I stuttered out of shock. He was always so happy, but now he figitted with his clothes and hair angrily.
"I can't be with someone who won't treat me right." he kept evenly toned, on the verge of tears. I don't understand, Luhannwas so good to him? "He was with Xiumin." it took a second for me to process what escaped Sehun's lips. Xiumin? Urg, why?
 
I didn't think about it too long before I pushed by Sehun's body into the back of the bus. Once I stepped three feet deeper into the bus I saw him. Luhan was a mess. The rim around his hairline wet with tears and sweat. Eyes puffy and bloodshot from crying. Tear stained cheeks cupped with his soft hands. It made me sympathetic. The two boys were deffinately consumed in some sort of problem, neither of them were acting close to normal.
"He just ... Blew up." of course I knew he was talking about Sehun. That's the only person Luhan has talked about for the past day and a half. My eyes never met his. "He just... Left me. Like it was nothing." Everything in my head was pounding against his words. He cheated, Sehun had a good right to leave him. I would have.
 
"Cheating isn't something you just forgive, Luhan." I made sure my vice was stern so Hyung would realize what he'd gotten himself into.
"I'm not cheating, it's just lunch! I'll clear it up."
"It still hurt him all the same! How would you like it if someone made plans to be with someone else behind your back!? You didn't tell him anything!" I was breaking down into messy tears. It all came across like some sad story. They both loved eachother but one did something stupid ruining everything. It reminded me of Chanyeol and I. The feeling was ripping at my emotions scattering them along the floor. In this case Luhan would be me. I didn't want him to feel the way I did everyday. Constantly wishing he hadn't messed up because he would miss Sehun all the time. You have to sit back and watch as they live fully without you. It tears your heart apart.
 
Luhan's mouth hung open without a voice, his lack of response only feed the anger building inside of me. "That's right Luhan, you'd be hurt too. Think of him first." my jaw was clenched out if pure rage.
"I was thinking of him, he said don't tell anyone then went and told Chanyeol! I kept to myself! I wasn't going to go against him and tell Xiumin! When was the last time you thought of someone other than yourself?!" he was screaming in my face wagging his finger around. Everything he did made me more and more upset. I always thought about people before me, but never showed it. Take Chanyeol, Sehun, and even himself for example. I was always trying to help but no one ever saw the caring Baekhyun. No all he ever saw was the y Baekhyun that didn't care.
 
"you never care, you just push everyone away. You don't know what its like to be put in a position where you don't know what to do because of someone you love." with that I took a firm grasp on his wrist pulling it up over his head and pushing him until my height ruled.
"don't say that!" I shouted. The tears wouldn't stop spraying from my eyes. I wanted to scream and rip my hair out. I cared god damnnit. I cared more than he did. "Don't tell me I don't know what it is like to have difficult decisions laid out infront of me! You don't know what happened to me, just off!" he had no clue what it was like fighting with yourself and then Chanyeol. It's hard finding who you want to be and Chanyeol always added to that stress. I flicked Luhan's wrist back into his face and took my seat.
"Don't lie," he huffed hoping I wouldn't hear. With that I let my fisted hand fly into his face. Knuckles white colliding with his lightly tanned skin. His whole left half of his face turned red. I wasn't sure if it was from anger or pain. Before I knew it, he had his hand crashing back onto my face. I shook my face releasing some pain while Luhan stumbled to his feet. Before he could properly stand I took handfuls of his shirt and pushed him back onto the sofa opposite to myself.
 
"Really Hyung, telling me not to lie?!" I stood infront of him preventing him from standing. "who lied to Suho and Kris yesterday in practice?" my actions were getting out of hand and I pulled my right fist beside my face. Just as my hand started to pummel towards Luhan he took hold if me.
"that's different!" he screamed, his voice was rough.  I could see him swallowing his fallen tears.
"it's not! It was the same as lying to Sehun!" I bit back my frustration.
"I didn't lie to Sehun! I didn't lie!" he screamed flaling his arms and smacking things like a toddler throwing a fit. I saw him though. I saw him latched with Xiumin during the concert. "you just don't know what it's like to deal with him!" tears trailed down his cheeks. "you have never loved someone like I love him." Had Luhan really been this oblivious to Chanyeol and I? I whispered Chanyeol's name to myself. I loved him Luhan just never noticed.
 
He heard my hushed words and let his voice pipe up,"it's not the same." hs breathe was shaken. I couldn't help but lay my eyes on the broken Luhan sitting infront of me.
"you're right, it's not. Cause I really lost him. I lost him because I lied. I lied about who I was. I changed when I was with him and then lied to cover up. The same way you lied to Sehun." my mouth was running all the hidden truth from my body,
"I didn't-" I snapped, Luhan kept trying to cut in.
"shut up for a second, will you?" I waiting until Luhan's eyes met mine.  “Don’t think I don’t know what it’s like to be caught between two people. I had to choose between the person I  was with
Chanyeol or the person I was away from him. I chose wrong.  You have to choose.”  Luhan hadn’t given my speech very long to sit in his mind before he answered.

“ it’s too late, he thinks I picked Xiumin” I came to walk right to the edge of the sofa.

“did you?” I whispered pushing away from Luhan’s sensitive mindframe. He shrugged innocently letting his face talk for him.

“I don’t know who I pick. Sehun’s not always there when Xiumin is.” I placed and hand on his head flattening out his sweat covered hair.

“you have to pick, or this won’t work.” My voice started to fade as Luhan sprung into my arms crying. His salty tears staining my favourite shirt.

“how do you do it?” his voice was barely audible over his muffled cries. He was talking about watching Chanyeol, I knew it. Honestly I didn’t know completely what happened between the two of us. All I knew was that I messed up in some way and both of us ended up hurt.  I took the hardest hit though.

“I don’t.” My voice carried through the bus and I the back of Luhan’s head. “When I’m alone, i get upset. So I hide myself behind my cockiness. If I don’t care for anyone there’s no way I can get hurt. But I still do care for him and it’s hard to watch him carrying on so happy, when I’m here missing him.” I felt my voice on the edge of cracking. I had never told anyone any of the things I was telling Luhan right now. “But I love him enough to want him happy, if he’s happy without me then...” I felt the tars pricking the back of my eyes again. I let my arms wrap tighter around him. “he’s happy without me. I have to learn to live without him no matter how hard it is on me.” Luhan stayed quiet while he stayed in my arms.

 I’ve never been so close to anyone after Chanyeol. Being so close with Luhan now added a whole other perspective to both relationships. I had to help him now, if I didn’t I felt like it would be hanging on me conscience.