“You say it’s close to heavenly?” You cave in. “Almost.” He breaks into a smile.

“I’ll be waiting.”

You open the door to find the lights still off.

The familiar shapes in your living room slowly taking on ghostly forms as your eyes adjust to the darkness. The air is still.

Kyungsoo isn’t home yet. It’s already 10 pm. Will he be home soon? What if…?

You close the door behind you, tossing your bag on the floor and dragging your feet to the couch, not bothering to switch on the lights.

You stare blankly at the window that’s illuminated by headlights with cars bleeding past every few seconds.

It's too quiet.

You like it quiet, but you don't like it when it actually is.

There's nobody to face and listen but yourself.


It's getting hard to do that recently.

You feel the emptiness swallowing you whole again, spitting out memories like a badly devoured dinner. Your father announcing his leaving at the door while you stood frozen behind your mom as she screamed for the first and last time. The ex-boyfriend sniffing himself when you said he smells of a perfume other than your own.

Your mom's trembling voice when she broke the news to you with a slip of paper shaking in her hands.

You couldn’t look at her.

At that point of time you thought just a mere look would make you crumble and you couldn’t allow that to happen. Not when the world around you is already falling apart.

You thought she’ll get better. Your attitude sometimes so callous because you thought if only you don’t shower so much attention on the sickness, it will be gone.

She deteriorated after half a year.

You couldn’t believe it when the doctor told you.

She started needing help with walking, then changing.

You couldn’t do it on your own. By the time her back gave way to sores and she couldn’t go to the bathroom by herself anymore, you sent her to the hospice.

Both of you are just waiting. Waiting for all of it to end.

And when hers comes, you are reminded you’ll be the only one left, waiting.

Waiting.

“Have you been waiting?”

You whip towards the voice.

Kyungsoo.

A click ensues and in the flickering light, you spot his radiant smile.

“Hey.” Your voice cracks a little.

“I’m sorry I’m back late, it’s my first day at work and there’s so much to learn.” He says brightly as he closes the door, jiggling a paper bag in his hand.

“I’ve got something for you!”

He plops himself beside you and opens the bag, fishing out a tub of ice-cream.

“Chocolate!” He exclaims, stretching his hands out with the prized dessert.

You can’t tell whether it’s his endearing outpour or his holding of your favorite ice-cream flavour, but you are smiling despite of yourself.

“How do you know I like chocolate?” You accept the gift which still feels cool to the touch.

“You just look like the kind who does.” He shrugs, smiling.

“I do.” You nod. “Thanks.”

“And here…” He fishes in the bag again. “Your very own silver spoon.”

The delicate instrument shimmers under the light.

“Now you are rich.” He sniggers and passes you the spoon.

You laugh as you catch on the connotation. “Wow… Thanks. I’ve always wanted to be born with one… Now I feel… rich?”

You open the tub and dig out a generous portion.

“You first.” You poise the spoon in front of him.

“No, no… it’s for you!” He shakes his head, waving his hands furiously.

“I’ve got the whole tub to myself!” You argue, directing the spoon nearer his mouth.

He relents with a sigh and eats. As you draw out the spoon, one of his hands catches your arm and the other closes over the spoon, gently removing it from you. You open your mouth to speak but got interrupted.

“Now, it’s your turn.” Digging a fair amount of ice-cream, he imitates your earlier action.

That’s…

“Shouldn’t we wash the spoon first?” You ask cautiously.

“Why?” His eyes widen in pure innocence.

“It’s…”

Indirect kissing.

“Just…” You stop short when you see his face expressing a tad of concern.

He doesn’t know.

You bite your lip.

“Never mind.”

You eat.

He smiles.

“Is it nice?” He asks.

You nod as the sweetness fills your mouth and goes down your throat.

“Heavenly.”

He snickers.

“Heaven is more than that, but I guess it’s close.” He blinks and smiles as he passes you the spoon. “There’s more things that’s close.”

“Like?”

“Are you doing anything tomorrow morning? It’s a Saturday.”

“I’ll probably still be sleeping, not a morning person.” You pout as you absent-mindedly take in another bite.

“Just once? It’ll be rewarding, I promise.”

He gives a serious expression that still looks too cute.

“You say it’s close to heavenly?” You cave in.

“Almost.” He breaks into a smile.

“I’ll be waiting.”