Will he be leaving? And if you fight, will he stay?




After a dinner of bland hospice cafeteria food, Kyungsoo reluctantly leaves you for his night shift and you lug yourself back to the radio station. You foresee the next few days to be camped at the hospice so you took leave for the week, feverishly rushing out the playlist for the next one month, writing down notes for spots that needs to be manually inserted and forwarding emails on upcoming songs and albums that requires attention for your stand-in colleague.

By the time you are done, it's past 12 am and you shut down the computer, wondering whether Kyungsoo is waiting up for you.

________________


You switch on the light to find him fallen asleep on the couch, lying on his side, beautiful dome-shaped eyelids closed and long black lashes peacefully lined against flawless milky skin.

He really looks like one of those angels you see on greeting cards and calendars, except those are small and manufactured, this is life-size and genuine.

Although sometimes you almost forget it's real.

Everything that has happened these past five days is more than you've ever wished for and nothing you've expected.

You never expect anything, stopped expecting two years ago because they almost always only bring forth disappointments, crushed hearts and bitter tears.

When time dulls pain and washes away memories, only numbness remains.

You don't fight because you don't feel anymore.


At least you thought you don't.


When you pick up one of the notes on the table that Kyungsoo has scrawled in his immaculately neat handwriting, "Teach us to number our days, so we may grow in wisdom", you suddenly remember the words he said on the first day he saw you.

"Only for seven days, then I'll be out of here."


You feel a choke of rancorous fear.

Will he be leaving?

And if you fight, will he stay?


You don't think you can bear hearing the answer, so you place the note back and switches off the light.

______________


Tuesday- The 2nd Day


Kyungsoo wakes feeling a dull ache on his left arm.

How long has he been sleeping?

The room is still hazy and dense from dawn and he barely makes out the timing on the wall clock through half-lidded eyes. 6:15 am.


Are you home yet?


The mere thought of you makes him spring from the couch and his eyes sweep anxiously around the house.

Your shoes are on the shelf. Your bag is by the table. Your door is closed.


You are home.

He breathes a sigh of relief.


He tried waiting up for you yesterday night, thinking he only has less than 2 days left before he goes back.

The news of your mom's state jolted him into the urgency of his mission.

Has he influenced you? Has he made you feel loved? Is it enough for you to continue by yourself?


He is afraid of the answer to the last question.

He prays quietly to himself as he inches towards your door, hands raising, then hesitates as he lets it fall again.

You probably need all the sleep you can get at this point of time. He doesn't want to be a source of distraction.

Slipping back to the couch, he picks up one of the blank notes and continues writing.


_____________________


You wake up and stumble out of the room to hear a soft, soulful singing coming from Kyungsoo's room.

His door is open and you find yourself walking towards it, drawn towards the unfamiliar but nevertheless melodic tune.


It takes just a moment for you to register the unusual stubs on Kyungsoo's shoulder blades, milky lean and sturdy before you gasp and whip around from the forbidding yet alluring sight.

Kyungsoo must have heard you because the next minute he is stammering.

"A-Ah... You are up early?"

He quickly pulls on the white tee on his bed and spins around.

"I-I just bathed and c-changed... It's alright now..."


You gingerly turn to face him, "S-Sorry... I should have knocked... "

"No, no... I should have closed the door, s-sorry, if I had known you'd be up now I would have made breakfast.." He gives an apologetic smile and glances at the time. 8:30 am.

Your earliest yet.


"Ah... I didn't know... I'll wake so early too." You smile sheepishly and scratch the back of your head. You think maybe it's true what other people say about couples influencing each others' habits. Except you two are not a couple.




It feels strangely like you are though, now that you are flipping the pancake and he is cutting up the strawberries, putting one into his mouth as he lines them up on a ceramic plate.

"Humph?" His chewing makes his offer muffled as he raises a strawberry in front of you.

You take it happily and nods. "Sweesht". You comment is muffled too.


He grins and goes back to his cutting.

You figure this is a good time to ask the question. Relaxing and conversational mood. Nothing serious or pressurizing.


"Do you want to bring some strawberries back to Ggyeongi-do tomorrow? We have too much in the fridge and I can't finish them all by myself."


Kyungsoo's motions slow down a little.

"I-- think it's not necessary."

Your heart lifts a bit at this.

"We don't eat much strawberries back there." He continues.

Your heart flops back.


"W-Why? I thought everyone loves strawberries." You give a strained smile.

Kyungsoo puts down the knife and turns to you.

"Do you love strawberries?"

Your heart flutters a little at the way he stares at you, earnest as always.


"I guess, yes." You let out a tiny laugh.

"More than ice-cream?"

"Not chocolate." You correct.

He grins crookedly.

"I guess as much." He turns back to the chore.

You leave it at that because somehow the mention of chocolate ice-cream makes you think of something you shouldn't be dwelling on right now, especially since he has sort of confirmed his departure.

Your heart feels heavy as you realize you had gotten way too attached to this person.


And it's already starting to hurt.