Xiumin looked up and saw a face, but the steam was fogging up his sight so he couldn't tell who the face belonged to. A strong gust of wind suddenly came from above, blowing the steam out of the way. The wind kept coming, and Xiumin could finally see what was causing it.

     'A fan?' Xiumin wondered.  A red fan was the reason he was cooled down now, but the surface below him continued to warm him.

     The fan stopped moving, and the mysterious face from before was seen.     The man froze at the sight of it. 

     "Lu... Luhan?" Xiumin stuttered. 

     Luhan was a giant! Or was Xiumin shrunken? Xiumin started to move as the giant Luhan picked up the white thing Xiumin stood on.     He fell back as the view of Luhan became clearer and closer.

     "Baozi~!" Luhan cheered before opening his mouth to take a bite. 

 

     Xiumin woke up from his dream. Nightmare? No, it wasn't scary, but it left the dreamer shuddering.

     Xiumin was apparently shrunken down on a giant baozi in a steam basket with a giant Luhan about to eat him? What kind of dream was that?

     He shook his head and looked to the alarm clock. It was only 5:30 later in the day. He'd taken a nap earlier since there was nothing to do that day, and Luhan kept bothering him over his hurt chin and tongue.

     He sat up, stretched, looked around to make sure he was alone in the room, and reached under between his mattresses. A journal, a diary actually, with 'BAOZI' written on front was pulled out. Xiumin searched for a pen to write with and found one with charms hanging off of it.

     'Probably Luhan's,' Xiumin smiled a little. Luhan was a little girly, once you think about it, but despite his looks and possessions, he could probably rule a country.  Luhan was very intelligent, and of course, intelligence is power. He thought fast, made smart decisions, spoke two languages, and had a high IQ. Heck, even his smile and voice could bring someone to his knees.

     However, when Luhan met Xiumin, the former became frustrated. Xiumin acted towards him as if Luhan was just another person. He tried all he could to make Xiumin fall under his spell, but the furthest he could go was just good friends. Luhan hated it, but he was power-hungry and wouldn't let obstacles slow him down when he really wanted something. It hardly happens, but Luhan could become a monster when he feels he's going to fail. Only his closest friends and family could keep him in control, and it would take several days before he would return to his normal, non-melancholy state.

     Despite these setbacks, Luhan always tried to stay happy, no matter what. He wanted to be an optimistic person so his damned alter ego wouldn't come out and hurt people. He struggled, but when he started living with the others, the evil pit of jealousy and power nearly disappeared. He could still feel it, but it has been dissolving away ever since...

 

     Xiumin started scribbling down messy letters into his diary, starting off with, 'Dear Baozi,

     I had a weird dream last night...'

     He started to describe his dream and occasionally stopped to think how he should write it. About twenty minutes passed of writing when he heard a knock on the door. 

     "Hey, are you awake?" a soft voice spoke. It was Luhan. 

     Xiumin slid his diary between his mattresses and put away the pen before opening the door. He smiled at Luhan and responded with, "Yeah. What do you need?"

     Luhan pouted, "Did you forget? It's your turn to make dinner!"

     "Oh. I forgot, sorry," Xiumin walked past Luhan into the kitchen.

     Luhan followed him and asked what he was doing before he came in.

     "Nothing. Just writing" Xiumin confessed. He didn't tell him that he was writing in his diary, because Luhan would bother him to no end to let him see it, and that would be a bad idea. If Luhan got his hands on that diary, Xiumin   would be exposed, and his band mates would never see him the same way. Not like he had a cool image, but he didn't want anyone to think of him as a loser.

    Xiumin mindlessly made instant ramyun. He wasn't bad at cooking, but he was a little lazy when he had to. He only used half of the seasoning; Lay can't handle the spiciness.

     He set up the table, filled bowls for everyone and went to call them in. Er... More like yelled. 

     "FOOD'S READY!" he sat down and started eating while the others rushed in. Luhan raced the others to sit next to Xiumin, bumping into him. Xiumin gagged as the chopsticks went to the back of his mouth.

     "Baozi! Oh, Baozi, I'm sorry!" Luhan panicked, patting his back firmly before smothering him with hugs. Xiumin coughed up a noodle before clearing his throat.

     "Luhan, I'm fine.  Luha- Hey!" Xiumin felt soft lips peck his cheeks and forehead. He could feel his cheeks burn at the sudden kisses. All the thoughts that should have been there all left his mind, except one.

     'They're just on my cheek, but... This is too close!'

     He pushed Luhan away and covered his face with his hands.

     "Don't do that, Luhan," Xiumin pleaded.

     "What? The kisses? They're just small kisses, though!" Luhan protested.

     "I..." started Xiumin. 

     "He's not into that kind of stuff," Luhan flinched at Kris' words. What did that mean?

     Kris continued, "You know, Luhan, in middle school, Minseok got bullied for being a little fat? The closest friends he had were nerds, so he didn't act like he does now. And in high school, he started to get cool, then he started training and turned to a loner again. Now he's here with us and should get uses to it, because we're actually cool."

     Xiumin glared at Kris.

     "They weren't nerds!" he complained. "Not being cool doesn't mean you were a nerd in school..."

     It got silent when he said that, and Kris just grinned when he ate. Tao broke the silence, "Minseok. Why don't you cook real food?"

     Xiumin tilted his head and replied, "I thought this was real food, Tao."

     "Instant food doesn't count," Tao retorted.

     "If it can go into you and digest, then it counts," rebutted Xiumin.

     Tao looked at Lay, who was failing to eat- the spicy seasoning was still too much at half the packet- and asked when he was going to cook. 

     "I don't like it when Kris or Xiumin cook," Tao commented. 

     "I'm cooking tomorrow, and you shouldn't complain!" Lay replied.

     "But their cooking is kind of... really bad," Tao muttered and continued to eat his ramyun.

     Luhan patted Xiumin on the back and apologized to him. He sat next to him and started on his food while Xiumin just sat there. He decided to stuff his mouth and not think, sipping milk along the way. He ate so fast that his cheeks started puffing up, and that distracted Luhan.

     He couldn't help but smile and think, 'He's so cute. I just want to... Make him mine.'

     Luhan set his chopsticks down and leaned in and kissed Xiumin on the cheek. He froze. This one was softer than the last ones Luhan had planted, and it was much sweeter.

     The older swallowed with hesitance after Luhan broke away. His face was so red from the kiss that he could be mistaken for a giant tomato. Luhan just smiled at him and kissed him again.

     'He'll be mine for sure now,' Luhan decided. He was letting his monster come out without knowing it, and he was starting to like it. He usually hated the feeling, but when it came to Xiumin, he would let it all out.

     Would.

     The only thing keeping it in is Luhan's genuine feelings for the other man. He hasn't realized it yet, but the last person he wants to hurt is Xiumin.

     Xiumin didn't know what to do. Was he supposed to get mad? He wasn't feeling any emotions at all, though.

     "I'm... I'm going to bed soon," Xiumin got up and brought his dishes to the sink and washed it. After, he went to take a long, steaming bubble bath. Running the water, he poured the bubble solution into the tub. He went to his bedroom to get some pajamas and his diary and pen. He walked back into the bathroom and locked the door. The tub was full so he stopped the faucet and set his stuff down. He started undressing when he heard something, but he ignored it.

     Little did he know was that there was a peeping Luhan hiding under the sink in the cabinet. He snuck in when Xiumin was getting his pajamas. He saw Xiumin , and he giggled.

     'Good thing he locked the door~' Luhan thought. He spied on Xiumin in the tub, grabbing his diary.

     Xiumin started writing in his diary.

     'Dear Baozi,

     Luhan kissed me today. Only on the cheek. Good thing. I didn't know what to do. I don't like him like that. I never knew he was gay. This weird. I'm bathing right now.  It feels good. Taking my mind off of everything for a while. Luhan really is making me confused. He's cute though. Not as cute as me, though.

     -Minseok'

     He put his diary away and sunk into the bubbles and water. He sighed, closing his eyes. He didn't want anything to do with Luhan right now. Too bad, because he was watching him. 

     Luhan quietly stepped out from under the sink. He tiptoed next to the tub and kneeled down, his face close to Xiumin's. His Baozi was close to sleeping, so he stole another kiss on his forehead. Xiumin squirmed a little, but didn't open his eyes. Luhan realized he loved him right there, but he didn't know if Xiumin liked him back. He was scared of rejection, but he need him so bad.

     Luhan continued to lay his softest kisses on him. He didn't want to leave, but he didn't want Xiumin to know he was there. Before he got up, he decided to take a risk. Heart pounding, he brought his lips to Xiumin's and pressed them together gently.

     Pure bliss. Luhan's heart jumped. He pulled away and whispered into Xiumin's ear.

     When Luhan walked out, he felt a pain in his chest. It bore at him and wouldn't go away. He went to bed with watering eyes. Falling into bed, he felt tears glide down his burning cheeks.

     Xiumin wouldn't love him, he believed. Why would he love a guy who messed with his mind? Xiumin wouldn't love another guy in the first place. Xiumin wouldn't want to spend his life with a jerk. 

 

     Luhan was a jerk. Even Luhan hated himself sometimes. He could be mean. He teased, made fun of people a lot, and played pranks. He was always forgiven for some reason. He didn't deserve those he messed with, but he always ended up getting what he wanted. Looks were important since that contributed to innocent image, and he often cursed himself for it.

     He hates himself.

 

     Xiumin woke up from his nap in the tub. He swore there was someone in there with him. He even heard a whisper. It kind of sounded like... "I love you."