Sehuns P.O.V

I was laying on my bed, playing with Kais bouncy-ball. I threw it up to the ceiling and watched it make another tiny scratch to add the collection of all the other scratches, before catching it my hand again. I was waiting for him. I knew that sooner or later, Kai would take Kyungsoo to his dorm like he always did. And Kai’s roommate would come to my room in order to give them privacy like he always did. I was becoming impatient. Come on Kai, go to your room. But before I knew it, there was a tiny knock on the door. I flew off the bed to go let him in.

After I gave him permission to come in, Luhan made his way to the bed across from mine. The atmosphere lightened up a bit after all the awkward small talk was out of the way. “Sorry I always come here, but Kai and Kyungsoo were in our dorm, and I wanted to leave them alone.” He said, looking genuinely apologetic. “N-no! it’s really fine! You’re always welcome.” Dammit, just when I thought I was past all the nervous stuttering. We started to talk about the other two and I got a little jealous. Kai had confessed to the dense Kyungsoo and he actually got with him, while I was still caught in the same state with Luhan. They had been dating for about two weeks and they were totally lovey-dovey-mushy with each other.

Even though I knew Luhan wasn’t clueless like Kyungsoo, I still hadn’t actually made a move on him. I was too worried about how he would react. Sometimes his little gestures got me thinking that maybe he did actually like me as more than a friend. Like when he pushes the hair out of my eyes and when he holds my hand or locks arms with me whenever we are walking together. But whenever that happens, I remind myself that he is the type of person who likes to take care of those around him, especially people like me, who are younger than him and less mature. But then I think about how Kai was also completely unsure about how Kyungsoo would react. And despite that, he still told him how he felt and didn’t chicken out like me. I wished I was as gutsy as Kai.

After a while, the conversation became a little more personal. It took a long time for me to finally bring myself to ask him the question that had been bothering me for quite some time, but I eventually did. “So, umm.. Have you ever dated anyone?” It was a stupid question, but I had to hear the answer from him. “Yes, I have.” His answer was vague. It was so unclear that it actually annoyed me a little. I was going to just keep quiet and make do with that small answer, but I remembered how I thought I should push myself to be more outspoken and courageous like Kai. “W-was it a boy o-or a girl?” I said, accepting the fact that, that was the most embarrassing question I had ever asked anyone in my life. I replayed my stupid stuttered question in my head and realized that it could actually be taken as an offensive question.

My hearts pace quickened and I started to panic. “I-I mean, Youdon’thavetoanswerifyoudon’twantto,Iwouldtotallyunderstand!” I blurted out in the speed of light. I tried to slow down, but I was too worried that he might get upset. I kept talking, not knowing what I was saying. I was practically throwing up words, trying to explain and apologize. I wished he would interrupt, but I knew he wasn’t the type to do that. JUST CALM DOWN. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and shook my head in attempt to organize my thoughts. I opened them to see him still looking at me with his beautiful brown eyes and that tiny innocent smile on his face. “I’m sorry; I didn’t understand what you just said. You were speaking a little too fast for me. But to answer your question, it was a girl.”

I let out a sigh of relief. Thank goodness he isn’t upset at that stupid question. I was glad that he answered, but the answer itself troubled me a little. He dated a girl. Does that mean I have no chance whatsoever? I nodded to him “Oh, ok” I said, trying to sound as neutral about his answer as I could. In truth, I was very disappointed. I was silently sulking, when I suddenly got an idea, like abrupt inspiration. Just do it. Don’t let Kai one-up you. I stood up and walked over to the other bed, where Luhan was sitting. I stopped in front of him.

He had a confused look on his face but it quickly faded away. He patted the spot next to him. “Want to sit beside me?” He asked with an encouraging smile. His caring side was beginning to show again. What did you expect to accomplish by standing in front of him you idiot? I hadn’t thought that through very well. I decided to switch my brain off and just go with the flow because it was practically screaming at me.

I sat next to him and snuggled up close. I rested my head on his shoulder. I knew he wouldn’t protest. He put his arm around me and started caressing my hair. He was going on about something, but I wasn’t paying attention. I couldn’t only think about his gentle hand on my head. I ignored the fact that I knew he was just taking care of me and I ignored my bad gut feeling. I let myself forget all my worries and all my morals.

“Actually, I didn’t come to sit beside you.” I admitted while taking my head off his shoulder. He looked at me, waiting for me to continue. I put my hand on the back of his neck. “I came to do this.” I said then leaned in and kissed his lips. The first few seconds I could feel his eyelashes on my face, he was still blinking. He was probably shocked because of the suddenness of the situation. When he finally closed his eyes and kissed me back, all the tension left my body. I was so ecstatic, I was practically flying.

I pulled away slowly but didn’t take my face very far from his. When he opened his eyes, he blinked profusely, like he was very confused. I didn’t know what to say, so I blurted the first thing that came to mind. “What did you think?” I asked, in genuine concern. It was quiet for a few moments and his expression was blank. Until the sound of his laugh punctured the silence and big smile broke across his face.

“That’s an interesting question.” He said, still giggling. I couldn’t help but smile at the sound of his adorable laugh. “What did you think?” He asked, instead of answering my question. Even though the comfortable atmosphere boosted my confidence a little, I still had to look away to answer his question. “I thought it was pretty great.” I could feel the blush rise on my cheeks. Luhan looked like he was spaced off staring at a random spot in the room. “Does Sehun like me?” I froze at his words. But he was no longer laughing. He was asking a serious question.

No point in hiding it now, might as well say it while I’m still feeling brave. “Y-yeah, I like Luhan a lot.” I admitted. He turned his gaze back to me. He had an odd look on his face. His eyes were narrowed, like he couldn’t quite grasp something.

“I think I like you too” He said while nodding to himself.

“But, I thought you said you dated a girl”

“She confessed to me and I agreed to date her because she was a nice person. But a month later, she told me that it was because I was flirting with her. I never flirted with her; I didn’t know what she was thinking. We broke up because the whole relationship was a misunderstanding. Later, I realized that I never really liked her in that way anyway.” He said then shrugged his shoulders.

 I knew exactly what she was thinking. He was probably just taking care of her, but she took it as flirting, like I almost did many times. So she confessed thinking that he wanted her to.

“So you think you like me? Are you sure it’s not like your ex-girlfriend?” I asked. I didn’t want him to go through the same thing as he did with her; it couldn’t have been good for his self-esteem. “Well that’s the thing. When I kissed her before, I thought it was nice and all. But with you, it’s like.. You know like..” He looked like he was searching for the right words in his head. A few second later he let out a sigh and I could tell he gave up looking. He clasped my face and planted a sudden kiss on my lips. He let it linger for a while and I felt him grab my hand. He held it against his chest and broke the kiss. “But with you, my heart gets like this.”

There were no more words needed. His heart was pounding, as was mine. I used my free hand to pull one of his towards my chest. Once he understood the rhythm of my heart, his eyes widened. “It happened to you too!” He said in a small gasp. He seemed fascinated by the whole thing. His eyes were wide and he was smiling. He put one hand on my face. “May I kiss you again?” He humbly asked, as if it was a normal question. I laughed and gave him a shy nod. His reaction to the entire situation was so adorable.

He was leaning in, his lips about to meet mine, when I spoke. “But this time, do it like this.” I demonstrated by holding the back of his neck and kissing him passionately. The kiss was hot this time; it was more like a make-out. He didn’t know how to do it properly at first, but after a while, he got the basics down.

I was a little puzzled as to why he didn’t kiss correctly, so I pulled away and asked him. “I thought you said you kissed your ex before. How come you’re not, umm..?” I couldn’t bring myself to finish the harsh question; I didn’t want to embarrass him. He understood though. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry if I’m doing it wrong! I did kiss her before but not like that. The kisses with her were small, like the first one we did.” He explained. I held in my giggle and tried to sound as reassuring as I could. “No need to apologize. They say the best way to learn is by doing.” I said, trying not to sound like a complete ert. How could I have stopped myself? He was too irresistible. He smiled brightly and kept nodding in agreement.

After our teaching-kissing session, he looked at me with a big smile on his face. “That was great! You are good at kissing me, Sehun.” He said without a hint of shyness. “Because I like it.” I admitted. I could barely look him in the eye while saying those embarrassing things, but it came so easy to him. He suddenly jumped at me, hugging me tightly and digging his face in my neck. “That’s good, because I like it too.” His little comment made me blush like crazy. He had no idea what he was doing to me.

He moved his face in front of mine to look at me.

“This is going to sound selfish of me, but I’ll say it anyway.” He said, almost like he was asking permission. I nodded and waited for what he had to say.

“I like it, so will you please kiss me all the time?” He asked. It was a genuine question.

“That’s a promise I will gladly keep.”

A big bright smile grew on his face. “So Sehun is my boyfriend now?”

I gave a light chuckle and I knew the blush was showing on my face. “Yeah, Sehun is Luhans boyfriend now.”

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