Continuation of Sehuns P.O.V

“Sehun! Please wait!” Luhan called from behind me, but I didn’t even look back. I was too upset; I couldn’t get my legs to stop running. I didn’t know who was worse; Lay, for trying to steal Luhan, or me, for doing nothing to stop it. So much was going through my mind, I found myself opening my room door before I even knew it. The second I closed it behind me, my legs gave way. My back slid down the door as I sat. My knees were at my chest and my arms were crossed over them. I dug my face in my arms, trying to suppress the tears that were aching to fall.

Minutes passed and I heard a small knock on my door. “Sehun, are you there?” Luhan asked in a soft, innocent voice. I couldn’t bring myself to speak. I couldn’t even bring myself to move. I kept my knees curled up to my chest and I didn’t take my face out from my arms. “Please open the door. Please?” He begged, sounding so helpless. I sighed. I knew I couldn’t just leave him out there.

I got up but hesitated before finally opening the door. I couldn’t see his expression because I had my eyes glued to the floor. He came closer to me and gently placed his hand on my cheek, trying to look me in the eye. “What’s the matter?” He asked in concern. I just shook my head and avoided eye contact. “Why did you say that I should go live with Lay and go marry Lay?” “Because all you do is talk to him and spend time with him! Even when you’re with me, you are on the phone with him or texting him!” I yelled back, barely allowing him to finish his question. I was finally looking at him, but my sudden loudness must have startled him, he had taken his hand away from my face.

He looked a little confused. “Because Lay is my friend.” He said in a voice that was barely audible. “Yeah? Well I don’t think he sees it like that.” I mumbled in detestation. “I don’t quite understand. Are you saying that you think he likes me as more than a friend?” He asked in complete puzzlement. I knew he honestly didn’t notice how Lay was acting. “I don’t think he likes you as more than a friend, I’m sure of it.” I replied, trying to sound as genuine and serious as possible.

“No! He sees me as a friend only. He doesn’t like me in that way..” He said, almost like it was a question. “Think about how he’s been acting, Luhan. Don’t you think it’s a little strange?” I asked, trying to clarify things for him. He opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. He stayed quiet for a few moments, then his eyes widened like he was having a realization. Finally, you understand.

“I think you are right.. But are you one hundred percent sure?” He asked, already aware of the answer. I nodded. “Trust me on this. He likes you as much more than a friend and I don’t blame him.” I admitted. “Sehun doesn’t blame him? I don’t under-” “I don’t blame him because it’s hard not to fall for Luhan. Because Luhan is amazing and I’m so sorry for yelling at you and I'm so sorry for making you feel bad!” I cried. “I did it because I'm so jealous of him. I'm so jealous that he texts you all the time and I'm jealous that he always hugs you and touches you. But most of all, I'm jealous that he can make you smile and brighten up your mood just by calling you.” I continued, almost in tears. Every word I had just said was the truth.

“Do you understand now?” I asked in desperation. It took a while for all my words to sink in, but when they did he nodded. “Yes, I understand. But I think you have got something wrong.” He said, making me a little confused. He cupped my face in his hands. “No one can make me smile better than you can and no one could ever make me as happy as you do. My mood brightens up just by thinking about you and my heart beats out of control just by touching you.” He explained. His words made my heart sink and my face redden.

I make him smile. I make him happy. I couldn’t help but feel giddy because of his words. “Do you understand now?” He asked. His beautiful eyes were staring directly into mine, making me completely melt in his hands. I nodded my head instead of answering with words because he absolutely took my breath away. “Can I kiss you now?” He asked, like he usually did. It was a habit I had grown to love. A big smile broke across my face “Yes. Yes you can kiss me.” I laughed. And that’s what he did. He kissed me sweetly and the bottom of my stomach flipped and jumped. He didn’t move. He just let his lips linger on mine.

He pulled away slowly and I had to steady myself because of the dizziness. “Again..” I gasped, short of words. “What?” He asked, also looking a little dazed. “I-I want Luhan to k-kiss me again.” I explained. The last time I had stuttered in front of him was when we first started dating. So apparently, I was extremely nervous. He rested his arm on my shoulders and did what I asked of him. As he put his lips back on mine, I wrapped my arms around him and gripped onto the back of his shirt.

This time, the effect of his kiss hit a little late, but when it did, it was stronger than the first time. I could hear my pulse throbbing in my ears and a tremor was sent down my spine when he ran his fingers up my neck and through my hair. He had me so far gone; all I could do was helplessly cling onto him like a child and obediently indulge as he further deepened the kiss.

 He took his arms from my shoulder and wrapped them around my waist, slipping his hands in my shirt and up my back. I wanted to get completely lost in his lips, but I knew we shouldn’t continue. I forced myself out of my hypnotized state and was finally able to pull away from Luhan. “Wait, we can’t do it now. At least, not like this.” I said. He gently pushed the hair out of my eyes. “What do you mean?” He asked in a caring voice. He was treating me like I was the most precious and fragile thing on earth. “I mean, I won’t let myself be satisfied like this, with all these loose strings.” I explained. He nodded in understanding. “Then how do we tie them up?” He asked.

“I need to talk to him. I need to clear everything up or I won’t be able to sleep soundly tonight.” I answered firmly. He was quiet for a while, like he was thinking about something. “OK, then.” He said, finally breaking the silence. “I’ll ask permission to use Kyungsoo’s car and we will go to Lay’s house.” He concluded. I agreed and the whole time before getting to his house, I was planning what I was going to say.

Luhan rang the doorbell and I was surprised to see how fast the door was answered. Oh right, I forgot. He was expecting Luhan. Lay had a big smile on his face and I was reminded of how truly stunning he was, with his big eyes and cute dimples. His smile shrank when he saw me but it didn’t fade. He greeted Luhan with a tight hug and I could see Luhan was just beginning to notice how Lay was acting. “Sehun, I wasn’t expecting you but that’s alright, come on in.” He said, opening the door wide to allow our entrance.

“Actually, I didn’t come for no reason.” I choked out as Lay was leading us to the living room. I glanced at Luhan and his eyes met mine. It was comforting having him there, but I was still a little nervous. Lay sat us down on the couch. “Then why did you come?” He asked, after everyone was comfortable. “I want to talk to you about something. It is something very important to both me and you.” I said. Lay obviously understood what I was talking about because I saw him glance over at Luhan. Luhan was looking down at his hands that were on his lap. He kept his eyes fixated there and refused to look up.

“Go ahead and say what you have to say.” Lay said to me, keeping an open mind. I took a deep breath and shut my eyes tight. Just say it. “I know how you really feel about Luhan.” I blurted. Lay was obviously taken back by my words, but he kept his cool and stayed completely calm. Great. Another thing to be envious about. “I’m not sure I know what you’re-” “Yixing, don’t!” Luhan interrupted him. I was surprised, not only because Luhan spoke despite his uncomfortable state, but because he actually interrupted someone.

Lay looked at him in confusion. “Don’t try to lie about it. I know how you feel and to be honest I am a little disappointed in you. You tried to get closer to me even though you know I am dating Sehun. Friends aren’t supposed to do that to each other!” Luhan said in slight anger, his voice raising a little. I had never seen him like that before. Lay abruptly stood up. “Well what did you want me to do?! I wasn’t just going to wait around, hoping you would notice how I felt! This boy doesn’t deserve you, not like I do. I have been in love with you since high school. I’m sure what you feel for him is just like that girl you used to date. You only want to take care of him!” Lay yelled back.  His words made pain jolt through my body. It was like I was getting stabbed right in the chest.

“Think of it from my point of view! I have been aching to be with you for three years. I have waited three whole years and I just about gave up when you started going out with a girl. But now, I find out that you are with a guy, of course my hope was restored.” He continued. I wanted to jump up and cover Luhans ears. Lay’s little speech was going to be the reason Luhan abandoned me. I was seriously regretting my decision to come here. This was a stupid idea. This was such a stupid idea.

Luhans eyes widened like he finally understood what Lay was really saying. Oh no. I’m losing him. This was such a bad idea. Luhan stood up. He looked astonished by what Lay had just said. “Why didn’t you tell me all of this before, when we were in high school?” He asked, still in shock. Lay walked up to Luhan and put one hand on his face. “Because I didn’t think you would love me back.” He said, looking into Luhans eyes. Luhan placed his hand on the one Lay had on his face and I could feel my heart breaking in my chest.

It was completely silent until Luhan started to sniffle. Even though I couldn’t see his face, I knew he was crying. His shoulders were shivering and Lay’s eyes widened at the sight of his tears. Luhan suddenly closed his fingers around Lay’s hand and threw it off his face. “So you did all of this because you were scared of getting rejected?!” Luhan yelled in his crying, unstable voice. Lay was speechless. “You hurt the person dearest to me. I don’t think I will ever be able to forgive you for that. And what I feel is not just the need to take care of Sehun, so don’t you ever belittle my feelings for him again.” Luhan said angrily. He had both his hands on his face, trying to wipe his tears away. But they kept coming.

Lay just stood there, frozen in his spot. I stood up and went to Luhan. I put my arm around his shoulder and walked him out the door. He didn’t take his hands away from his face. We left Lay’s place without another word. I opened the car door and sat with Luhan in the backseat.

I cradled him in my arms while he dug his face in my chest and continued to sob. I didn’t blame him for crying so hard. He had just lost one of his closest friends and he probably felt hurt and betrayed. A few minutes passed and he finally took his face from my shirt and looked up at me. When I got a good look at his face, I wanted to break down and start crying myself. It was so difficult for me to hold it together. I hated how this angel had to feel pain and that I couldn’t protect him from it. “I'm sorry” He said, voice half gone. I shook my head and swallowed hard. “It’s not your fault.” I protested, forcing my words out and trying to hold back the tears.

“What he said was untrue. Don’t believe it please.” He begged. His red eyes started to water again. I didn’t know what he was talking about; I had a confused look on my face. “What I feel is not just to take care of you. It’s not like what I felt for my ex-girlfriend.” He said, gripping onto my shirt. “I know Sehun is the only one for me.” The tears started to run down his cheek again. I couldn’t bear seeing him like that anymore, so I immediately pulled him back into my arms and hugged him tightly. “Luhan is the only one for me too.” I comforted him then kissed his head.

He pushed me away. “Please let me finish while I can still speak.” He said in his raspy, tired voice while shutting his eyes tightly. “What I'm trying to say is, I love you Sehun.” He confessed then opened his eyes. I think my heart stopped beating for those few quiet seconds after. “You really love me?” I choked, still not fully convinced. He nodded. “So much, that I would give everything for you and I would do anything for you. I didn’t realize until today.” He continued.

I couldn’t stop them. The tears fell as I smiled. “That’s great. That’s really great because I love Luhan too. I love Luhan more than anyone in the world. Lay might have loved you longer, but I am sure he doesn’t love you anywhere near as much as I do.” I admitted. The words I spoke didn’t do my feelings justice. I wished I was more articulate so he could fully comprehend exactly how much I truly loved him, but I think the idea reached him just fine.

He smiled at me, and I felt like that smile of his was all I needed to go on. He looked relieved. “Thank goodness Sehun loves me back. I was bracing myself to wait a long time before you were ready to say it back. I’m so glad.” He said, still crying. My hands went to his face and I lightly ran my thumbs over his cheekbones, wiping his tears away. I kissed his lips one last time before driving him back to school and taking him to my room.

I sat him down on my bed and ran my fingers through Luhans hair, pushing it out of his eyes. I scanned every part of his face, memorizing his beautiful features. “Now we can do whatever we want.” I said with a smirk and he smiled back. “No one is ever going to take Luhan away from me. I will kill them if they try.” I promised, which made him giggle.

“May I please have extra kisses? Because I love you!” Luhan requested. He had told me he loved me five more times before we even reached the school; he was growing fond of saying it. “You may have all the kisses you want. Do you know why?” I asked, well aware that he knew the answer. He childishly shook his head anyway, wanting me to say it out loud. I touched my forehead on his. “You get all the kisses and you get all the hugs, because I love you!”