Previously: “He had muttered words to himself. The words were: I don’t want Kyung to be miserably waiting for me in the six years that I'm gone. Kyungsoo, I think that’s why he broke up with you.” Sehun said, hoping I would understand.

Kai doesn’t want me to wait 6 years. I suddenly remembered something he said to me at the airport. “Move on, find someone new, forget about me and be happy.” All the pieces were fitting together, everything was becoming clear. He told me to move on and find someone new. He told me to forget about him. That’s it! I understand!

“He broke up with me, because he was looking out for me. He didn’t want me to suffer because of having to wait for him that long. He told me to be happy and forget about him.” I mumbled in realization.  “Sehun, do you know what this means?” I asked with a shaky voice. He shook his head in reply. I gripped his shoulder and smiled. “It means he still loves me. Kai still loves me!”

One year later…

Kyungsoo’s P.O.V

After getting back from my part-time job at the convenience store, I sat at the desk in my room and crossed off another day on my calendar. After I got done crossing it off, I glanced over to the day that was circled with red ink. It was the day after the one I had just crossed out. Tomorrow. It had been a painfully long year, but that’s how long it took before I could finally afford to buy a ticket to the U.K.

After I had discovered why Kai truly ended it with me, I got a part-time job in a matter of days and I saved up every penny of my earnings in order to buy that ticket and have backup money for when I get there. It had been a year since I last saw him, a year since I had last touched him, a year since I had last heard his voice. It was the most agonizing, most tormenting year I ever experienced in my entire life. It got harder and harder as the time passed. At first I was motivated and excited, but soon all the optimism in me faded and all I had left to keep me going was pain.

The sheer pain of not having the person I cherished most by my side. When something good would happen I would get thrilled or happy and I would look forward to telling Kai about it, but then I would remember that I couldn’t do that anymore. When something bad would happen, all I would think about was how much I wanted him to be there, to hold me in his arms and kiss my forehead, and I would have to keep telling myself that it was impossible, it couldn’t happen.

All of those terrible, painful feelings, those were the only things driving me to keep trying. Because those feelings made me realize how much I truly needed him in my life and how dark everything was when he wasn’t there. I wanted the pain to stop, and there was only one way of doing that; I had to go to Kai and make him mine again. Even if it meant going down kicking and screaming, it was what I was going to do. My mind was set and there was no changing it.

I had already purchased my ticket online, my flight was tomorrow. The only luggage I was taking was my backpack. It had some clothes, money and my passport in it. I didn’t know how long I was going to stay over there, so I packed light.

I kicked my shoes off, changed into pajamas and got into bed. I was feeling so many different emotions. I was scared, nervous, anxious, hesitant, but most of all I was excited. I was going to see him again. He was the yin to my yang, the boom to my box, the apple of my eye. He was the love of my life, and I was going to see him! Of course I was overjoyed by the thoughts of being around him; he was like the sun to me. He lit up my life. It was ridiculous how hard I fell for him. To think it all started with him confessing to me in the hall. Well, that’s when it started for me, he told me he tried to confess before that but I had no recollection of it.

I had a hard time falling asleep; I was so overcome by delight… and fear. There was the fear of Kai rejecting me again, the fear of not getting to see him at all. I was scared that my plan wouldn’t work and that I wouldn’t be able to talk to him, I wouldn’t be able to fix things. My mind was on overdrive; it just wouldn’t shut the hell up and let me sleep.

I pushed all the worst-case-scenarios out of my head and tried to think of better things. I sifted through my brain and found the memory of the time when he first confessed to me. It was so vivid in my mind, like it had just happened minutes ago. I replayed it over and over again and it was crazy how I felt almost exactly the same emotions course through me as when it really happened. I remember how he kissed me and I got dizzy, I remember how he told me that I was his and my heart raced, I remembered how he carried me back to my room and my face started to heat up. Hopefully, I will soon get to feel this first hand again. Just wait a little longer Kai, I’m coming to you.

…

The next day I was ready. I was ready and by the time I got to the airport, I knew there was no turning back. I had asked Kai’s mother for all the information I needed and she gave it to me, although she did seem a bit reluctant. I assumed it was because she didn’t want me to get in the way of his studies. “It’s been a year, he has probable moved on” She told me. But stupid me, I decided to go with my gut feeling and ignore her advice.

The ten hour plane ride was definitely the worst of it. I was so glad when we were finally landing. I was glad to be getting off that plane, and I was glad because of the feeling of accomplishment. I actually did it. When I exited the airport a strange feeling washed over me. Like it was only when my feet touched the ground outside in the evening air that it all suddenly became real to me. It honestly felt like a huge weight was lifted off my chest. Although I was extremely nervous, I was overjoyed as well. I finally made it! But I wasn’t going to celebrate just yet.

I looked around and couldn’t help but smile at the sight of all the beautiful people with blonde hair and light eyes. Even the girls with brown hair looked different to me. It was light shade of brown, one that I had only seen a couple times back home. The feeling was so overwhelming; I had to take a minute to organize my thoughts.

After I got done taking everything in, I pulled a piece of paper out from my backpack. It had detailed instructions of what I had to do next. I read over it, memorizing the address I had to go to. I checked my watch that I had already set to London timing. He will be getting off his night classes in about half an hour. Just enough time for me to get there.

I got into a black cab that I had specifically booked, having him take me to the address that was written on my paper. I wasn’t going to let London beat me. I had come well prepared. Kai was not staying in a dorm like he did at our school. He lived in an apartment, one his mother chose for him of course.

I kept my face glued to the window of the cab, still taking everything in. Is this really happening? Am I really in London? I thought about what I was doing. On a mission to take back the one I love. It was all so romantic, so heroic. I guess that miserable year spent away from Kai made me really grow as a person. My stomach bubbled and jumped knowing that I was so close. So close. I’m so close to getting to see him, so close to getting to see the boy I idiotically feel in love with.

The cab driver stopped and after I got out, I looked up at the building. It looked like a massive repetitive mansion. I knew that each door belonged to individual flats, but since it was all connected, it just looked like one, huge house with about six floors.

It was getting dark outside. I looked down at my paper as I found my way to the correct door. I started at it. This door… Kai is right behind this door. I looked down at my watch. He is definitely home by now. I reached for the doorbell. My pulse was throbbing in my fingertips. The love of my life is right behind this door. Just before my finger pushed the button, I pulled it away.

What if he doesn’t want to see me? What if this whole thing was a mistake? I looked around one last time, reminding myself where I was. No. I can’t be having second thoughts now. I traveled to another continent to see him. I can’t get cold feet, I have gotten this far. I held my breath and rang the doorbell.

Everything around me went quiet. All I could hear was the loud sound of my heartbeat. I held my breath. It felt like I was waiting forever, when in reality it was only a couple of seconds. My palms were sweating. Maybe he's not home. Maybe he went out somwhe-

The door opened.                  

I took a deep breath, expecting to see Kai. Instead I saw an unfamiliar face. It was a boy, he looked around my age. He was pale, brown hair, about half an inch taller than me. He was Korean. I didn’t have to ask, he knew what I was thinking. “Oh, you’re probably expecting Kai. He’ll be back in a little while; he had to stay in school a little longer today.” Just my luck.

The man was humble, he smiled a lot and he bowed after his words, apologizing. “Come in, you can wait for him inside.” He invited. I stepped inside. The place was lit with orange light bulbs, making it feel homey and cozy. It was rather big. It had a nice set-up and modern-looking furniture. The place rang a bell in my head, and then I realized it was probably because Kai’s mother bought the furniture.

After we were both seated on the couches in the living room, he introduced himself. “I’m Joonmyun, Kai’s friend from the university. I usually come to his house because he’s a really lonely guy, and I’m one of the only people who speak Korean in that school.” Kai? A Lonely guy? What happened to Mr. Popularity? “I’m Kyungsoo.” Was all I said. I was feeling more nervous than ever, waiting on Kai.

“Kyungsoo…?” He muttered. His eyes suddenly widened in realization. “You go to his old school, back in Korea, am I right?” I nodded my head in reply and his face brightened up. “I knew I heard your name before. He talks about you. Well, you know when he actually comes around to talking at all. It’s so great that you’re here!” He cheered. Kai doesn’t talk? What’s going on? “You know, the only time he ever smiles is when he’s talking about the times he had in his former University with you guys.” My heart sank as I imagined Kai talking about me, smiling.

“That, and when he looks at the wallet” He added. “Wallet?” I asked, not sure as to what he means. “Well, he has this wallet and whenever he-” Joonmyun’s words were cut off by the sound of the door opening.

My eyes widened. My chest tightened. My heart beat out of control. My stomach lurched. I held my breath and looked over my shoulder, at the door and saw him come in. And by “Him” I meant the person I so dearly missed, the one I cared about most, the love of my life, Kai. He closed the door behind him, and for the first time in a whole year, our eyes met.