Sorry it took so long! and be warned, this chapter is quite long.

We were standing outside the huge office door, too nervous to step in just yet. “Ready?” I asked Kyungsoo. He took a deep breath. “As ready as I’ll ever be.” He said in an exhale. I held my hand out, hoping he would hold it. He smiled and when he took it in his, he laced his fingers with mine. I was instantly comforted by it and I think he was too.

I reached for the door handle but before I could touch it, Kyungsoo pulled me back. I turned to look at him and he planted a sudden kiss on my lips. My whole body relaxed. I dreaded the moment he pulled away. He kissed my cheek then moved his mouth to my ear. “Sorry, I needed one more for good luck.” He said in a mutter. I smiled at his little gesture but I was too anxious to reply him so I just thanked him with my eyes. I needed it to.

He gave me a reassuring smile and this time I successfully opened the big door. The room’s layout resembled a study and it hadn’t changed since the last time I saw it. The door was now behind us because we had stepped into the relatively large room. I already had it memorized so I wasn’t impressed by it, but when I glanced over at Kyungsoo I saw him quietly marveling at the expensive furniture and the impeccable design of the room.

There was a grand bookshelf on the wall to our left and some black leather sofas to our right. But it was what lied directly in front of us that made our palms sweat and our angst kick in. A desk with a large laptop on it, and behind the desk was a woman on talking on a modern-looking corded phone, not acknowledging our presence. She was wearing a blazer with a matching knee-length skirt and high heels, like she always wore. Her hair was done in a neat bun and her light makeup was perfectly applied. She was beautiful and looked a bit young for her age. She also happened to be the only woman that could scare the hell out of me just by a glance; my mother.

She had asked me to visit the house to discuss the terms of sending me to the UK, because no matter what it was, there was always a catch with her. Kyungsoo looked like he was going to faint; he was silently panicking, I could tell. His condition only worsened when my mother finally set the phone receiver down, hanging up. She looked at us with a stern, serious expression, and Kyungsoo tightened his grip on my hand, but I knew that was how she always looked. She rested her left arm on the desk then laid her right arm gracefully over it, cupping her elbows in her hands. Kyungsoo deeply bowed. “Hello! Nice to meet you!” He said with alarm in his voice. She didn’t look at him. “I see you brought someone with you.” She said to me, not particularly pleased but not angry either. I just nodded because my throat was backed up.

“A friend, I’m assuming?” She asked with suspicion in her tone. Her question threw me a little because I thought she was going to get straight to the point and ignore Kyungsoo, but then I noticed her glance at my fingers interlaced with his. I coughed to clear my throat and Kyungsoo met eyes with me. Come on, say it. “A-actually-” “Do not stutter. It is extremely unflattering and quite irritating.” She ordered in a firm tone. I took a deep breath and tried again. “Actually, I am in a relationship with him.”

She kept her business face on. I had a feeling she was expecting it. She was a smart woman, she probably deduced it from all the side glanced and the intimate hand-holding but she just wanted me to admit it in words. “First you go against my aspirations for you by attending that university, and now this. I don’t understand why you’re doing this, but I want it to stop. I am sending you to the University of the Arts, so you don’t have to do it anymore.” She said, trying to bargain with me. “It’s not to go against you; this is how I truly feel. I really do love him.” I explained. I glanced at Kyungsoo, but his eyes were glued to the floor.

She considered what I was saying, keeping that same poker-face. “I understand how you might think it is true feelings, but at your age it could be anything. This could simply be a phase that will soon pass.” She suggested. She was trying to cover all the options, like it was a business matter. I shook my head. “This is definitely not a phase. I am sure of how I feel. Actually, I have known this for years. But my relationship with him has gotten very serious, that’s why I decided to tell you now.” I clarified. I desperately wanted her to understand. I needed her to understand, because Kyungsoo was very important to me. So I just stood there with my knees shaking in hopes that there was at least one maternal bone in her body, telling her to accept me for who I am.

She took her right arm off the left one but her elbow stayed in the same place, rested on the table. Her hand came to her face and she ran two fingers on her forehead, directly over her right eyebrow as if there was a headache forming in that spot. “It’s bad enough that you are attending the Arts division in your school.” She said while looking down, almost to herself like she was still making her decision. Her words made me even more uneasy. My mind was going out of control with worry.

“Fine.” She concluded, breaking my chain of thought. Both kyungsoo and I looked up at her in disbelief, and plain confusion. “I won’t interfere with your relationship, as long as it stays quiet.” She said. Of course there is a catch. Why did I think there was no catch? “What exactly do you mean by ‘quiet’? We have to keep our relationship a secret from everyone? Including our friends?” I asked, still a little skeptical. I wasn’t going to agree with anything until I knew what she meant exactly because I knew I was basically signing a verbal contract. “I couldn’t care less if you tell your friends or not. What I'm more concerned about is the public. If it’s in the paper that my and your father’s son is in a relationship with another man, it would be very troublesome. You don’t have to keep it from everyone; just don’t inappropriately broadcast it, especially not in front of our colleagues. In other words: Keep your private life private.”

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a big smile spread across Kyungsoo’s face, but I didn’t let myself rejoice just yet. That’s not so bad, but it still seems a little too easy. “That’s it? You have no problem with it? At all?” I asked, unconvinced. Annoyance flickered across her face. She hated to repeat herself. “As I said before, as long as you keep it reserved from the public’s eyes and ears, it will not affect anyone in a negative way. Therefore, I see no problem.” She said, masking the irritation in her voice.

I nodded, suppressing the smile that was threatening to form on my lips. I didn’t want to show weakness in front of her. She looked down at the table and I realized she was checking the time on her watch. “Alright, enough time wasted. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to the main point.” She said, but stopped herself before continuing. She looked directly at Kyungsoo for the first time and he froze. “You can sit down.” She said to him, gesturing to the leather couches. Kyungsoo bowed to her and quietly went to a couch. I walked a bit closer to her desk and took the opportunity to lead the conversation.

“What are the conditions?” I asked, getting right to the point. She seemed a little surprised because of how straightforward I was, but it quickly faded. She held up her index finger. “There is only one.” She said, still as professional as ever. “You will enroll in another college as well, in order to achieve a degree in business. And as we agreed on the phone, I will cover the finances of your schools and your living.” Before I could even begin to consider what she said, she glanced at her watch. “Excuse me a moment, I need to make a call. I’ll expect an answer when I return.” She said then walked out of the room.

Kyungsoo flew towards me in excitement and began flailing his hand around. “This is great! This is so great!” He exclaimed while jumping up and down. I smiled and hugged him to calm him down a bit. “What’s so great?” I laughed. He tightly hugged me back. “Everything! You told your mother about us and she is fine with it! And you’re going to be in the school of your dreams! It’s all just so great!” He cheered. “Well, I don’t know. I would have to go to business school just like she has always wanted me too. It feels like a scheme. Like everything is going according to her plan.” I said, still not sure of my decision. He pulled away and looked at me. “So you go to business school! Education is never bad. As long as you make your dream come true!” He said optimistically.

I paused for a moment. I guess he's right. As long as my dream comes true, right? He went back to the couch and a couple of minutes later my mother came back in. She sat at her desk and looked at me with expectant eyes. “Agreed” Was all I said to answer her. “Then it’s settled.” She said while giving a small nod. She opened one of the drawers in her desk, taking out a small envelope and holding it out to me. “I was going to have it mailed to your school, but since you’re here now, I might as well give it to you. It’s your ticket. One-way, business class.”

After taking the envelope from her hand, I nodded to her and held my free hand out to Kyungsoo. He and deeply bowed to my mother just before coming to me and taking my hand in his. We made our way to the door. “Before you go,” My mother said before I could open it. We turned to face her and we were both surprised when she looked directly at Kyungsoo. “What’s your name?” She asked him. He looked both nervous and surprised, but he knew better than to make her wait. “My name is Kyungsoo.” He answered, struggling to stay calm. She gave him the tiniest smile and nodded to us. “You can go now.”

I thought my jaw was going to drop to the floor. But it was only until after we left the room that I let myself show any expression. I closed the door behind us and the whole walk to the car I was utterly speechless. Kyung stared at the house as he was putting his seatbelt on. “I still can’t believe how huge that house is.” He said then looked at me. He noticed my frozen shocked state. “What’s the matter?” He asked.

“She asked your name.” I said in almost a mutter.

 “OK..? What’s so surprising abou-”

“No, you don’t understand. She actually took the time to remember your name and she smiled while doing it. That’s huge for her.”

A smile grew on his face but he didn’t say anything. The car ride home was fairly quiet; I had a lot on my mind. Two colleges.. It’s going to be a lot of work, but I guess that’s the price to pay. It will all be worth it.

It was only when we were on our way back to our dorm that Kyungsoo spoke. “By the way, when you were telling your mother about us, she kept said something like ‘if it’s in the paper’ but I’m wondering, why in the world would it be in the paper?” He asked.

“I told you before. My parents are greatly respected, well known entrepreneurs.” I answered.

“Yeah, but I didn’t think they were that well known.” He said, still a little stunned.

We got to my dorm room but before I could go in my phone rang. I took it from my pocket to see who was calling. ‘Mother’. I looked up at Kyungsoo. “You go ahead, I have to take this.” I said, pointing to my phone. “Alright, but make it quick. I want to celebrate with you.” He flirted then gave me a small kiss and went in the room.

I answered the phone. “Yes?”

“I want to talk to you about Kyungsoo.” She said, getting straight to the point.

I was a little thrown by her answer. “But I thought we already discussed that.” I said in confusion.

“This is about something else. Are you aware that going to the UK will cause you two to be separated for a long period of time?” She asked.

“Yes, of course. I have talked this over with him before. We can handle 4 years of being apart.”

“Kai, it’s going to take 6 years, not 4. You need to work in the UK for at least one more year after you graduate university, plus you have to study business like we agreed. That will take another extra year and you won’t be able to come back on vacations such as summer break and spring break because you will have to take side courses.” She explained. “It will be very difficult for both of you. I don’t know if you want to put him through that. You should consider saving yourself the trouble. I suggest you rethink your decision to stay in the relationship.” She added.

6 years..? What?  I was in complete shock. 4 years already felt like too long to be away from him, but adding another two more to that. By then I’ll forget what it even feels like to be with him. I guess she noticed how quiet I was being. “Think about it.” She said and I could’ve sworn I heard that same victorious tone in her voice. Wait, is this how she wants it to play out? Before I could say anything else, she hung up.

I immediately opened the door and went to Kyungsoo, who was sitting on the bed playing with his phone. He was startled by how I hurled the door open, but he set his phone down on my nightstand. I sat beside him and threw my arms around him. I dug my face in his shoulder. 6 years. I won’t be able to do this for another 6 years. He gripped my shoulders and pushed me away to look at my face. “What’s wrong? Who was on the phone?” He asked in concern, connecting the call to my sudden mood change.

I didn’t want to explain. Not yet. Not while he was so happy. “I’ll tell you later.” I said while kicking off my shoes. He noticed how distressed I was, so he went to my closet and got two t-shirts. “But didn’t you want to-” “We can celebrate tomorrow. You have had a long day.” He said, handing me one of the t-shirts and slipping into the other. I looked at the shirt in my lap with a guilty expression. I felt a little selfish doing that.

I guess he noticed that I felt bad. “Kai, it’s OK. I know your probably feeling overwhelmed because of all the things that happened today.” He said in understanding. I stood up and hugged him tight. “I’m so glad I have you.” I said. My words made him giggle as he hugged me back. “I’m glad to have you too.”

After letting it linger for a while, I slightly pulled away to look at him, but I kept my arms around his waist. I kissed him, trying to memorize his taste even though I knew it was no use. I won’t remember this taste, I won’t remember this feeling. In six years, I won’t remember anything about how it feels to touch him. He pulled away from me. “Come on, put the shirt on and get into bed. I know you’re tired.” He ordered in a motherly tone.

I did what I was told because he was right. I was tired. Not physically, but emotionally. I got into bed and he crawled in beside me, snuggling up close, wrapping his arms around me. He kissed my forehead then laid his head down on my pillow. “I love you. You know that right?” He asked. His words made a wrenching pain twist up in my chest. “I love you.” I said back, masking the agony in my voice.

Having him there, with me, so close, it felt unreal. I cherished every second that passed. He put a small kiss on my lips. “This moment right now is one that we should remember, isn’t it?” He asked, reading my thoughts exactly. I shut my eyes tight because the tears were threatening to come out. “Mm-hmm” I said while nodding, answering his question. He wasn’t making this any easier for me.

Tears ran down my cheeks before I could stop them. I hugged his head close to my chest so he couldn’t see my face and he let me do it. I stayed as silent as I could as the tears fell, hoping he wouldn’t hear the little sounds that I wasn’t able to hold in. I didn’t want to worry him. I repeated the same words in my head hoping he would somehow hear them, because I couldn’t bring myself to speak. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I couldn’t help but think my mother wanted this to happen, but I knew that wasn’t the worst thing to worry about. What was worse was that, I knew she was right. I have to end it with Kyungsoo.