Onew’s POV:

I look at the place upon me. I still can remember how much this place meant to me, the way father’s laugh will fill the air and mom’s giggling voice as the background. I still remember clearly how my mother hug me every time I would go to school and kiss my forehead, how father would ruffle my hair and say ‘be careful’ to me. But I also remember that night. The night when I foolishly used the phone until the police couldn’t reach me. The night when the police came to this house and informed me that my two precious persons were no longer in this world again.

“Jinki, please don’t force yourself.”

I look at my right side to see Changmin hyung’s concerned expression. I’m glad that I accept Changmin hyung’s offer. He is nothing but nice to me. As if I have a big brother. Now, he is even willing to accompany me back to this place.

“Thank you hyung, for coming here with me. Sorry for troubling you.”

“Don’t say that Jinki. Nothing you do can trouble me. I’m willing to come here because I care about you. So stop blaming yourself for everything, okay?”

I look at hyung’s eyes.

“But it was my fault when the police couldn’t reach me, hyung. If only... if only I didn’t call him at that time, maybe, maybe...”

A strong hand pulls me towards a warm hug. As I feel my face pressed to Changmin hyung’s chest I cry. I cry so hard, trying to let go all of the burden in my heart. How I miss my father’s warmth, my mother’s smile, their scent, how hurt my heartbreak, and anything that crumpled inside my heart. It’s too much. I’m being a selfish person. For making my friends to come with me. for going here without informing them, for giving Jonghyun hope yet still make him wait, and for making hyung leave his job only to baby-sit me.

“Hush baby hush. It’s not your fault, okay. Please don’t ever think that it was your fault Jinki. I’m sure uncle and aunt would be sad if they heard you.”

“Hyung, there is one more place I want to visit before we comeback.”

“Your parents’ grave, right? I’ll take you there.”

The journey to my parents’ grave is silent. I can feel Changmin hyung’s concerned look on me, but I only smile at him, telling him i’m okay. I have to be strong. I can’t be still like this. There are people that concern about me out there. And I have to pay all of their kindness toward me. The time I decided to come here, I promised myself to move on. To forget about Minho, about Taemin. Without Changmin hyung knows, I even contacted Minho to come here. I need to settle everything. I was a coward back then, leaving without words and run away without solve the problem. And it has to stop. If I want to move on, then I have to face this problem. But there is someone that I have no power to call. It is Taemin, someone that was so dear to me, yet stab ne in the back. But I can’t hate him. There’s a part of me that longing him to come back to me. Yet, it hurts every time I remember him. Later, I promise myself. First, I’ll talk to Minho, and then I’ll find Taemin and finish this all.

“What the hell is he doing here? Does he stalk us?!”

As I heard Changmin hyung angrily spats the words, I look up from my laps. There he is, Choi Minho, standing in front of my parents’ grave with a bucket of flower. He is still as handsome as I can remember. However I denied it, he is still held a very special place inside my heart as he is my first love. My eyes start to sting.

“Wait here Jinki. I’ll take care of this.”

“No hyung, I call him here. I want to finish this all here.”

“But...”

I shake my head, showing a determined expression to Changmin hyung and silently saying that I will do it.

“Okay then. But i’m coming with you. No way I would let you all alone with him.”

I only smile at Changmin hyung’s words.

“Thank you hyung.”

As we walk toward the grave, Minho put down his flower and looks at us. He is smiling so happily. I remembered how happy he was when I called him. A voice that once accompanied my when I couldn’t sleep. I only smile weakly at it.

“Hyung, you’re here...”

I hear a growl beside me. I touch Changmin hyung’s hand softly to calm him down. I then nod at Minho’s and face my parents’ grave. After putting down the flower and praying for them, I also pray for them to spare me their power and bless to pass this.

“Minho, we need to talk.”

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Minho’s POV:

I’m not dreaming!!! It’s Jinki that standing in front of me!! My Jinki!!! The love of my life!!

As I see him now in front of me, I feel so stupid to ever cheat on him, with Taemin nonetheless. I know that I met Taemin first, but I should have stopped seeing him after I was with Jinki. But no, my stupid hormone and my stupid head just had to cheat on him. My heart beats faster as I hear him say hi to me. I don’t care about another’s presence behind him which acts like a bodyguard. What I care most is the person that always has my heart is standing in front of me.

“I know what you did with Taemin.”

Those words are like a thunder and shock me like electricity. He knows. He knows my sins.

“I saw you. Both of you. How could you do that to me?”

“Jinki...”

“I loved you, you know...”

“Jinki I...”

“I was so in love with you and thought that everything was gonna be okay. That I still had you by my side to catch me fall and to love me!!! Why did you do this to me?! Why Minho?! Why did you have to do that at the lowest time of my life?! You ruined me, Minho!!! You ruined me!!!”

Jinki is hitting my chest as he is screaming and crying. I let him to do that. I deserve it. Maybe, if now a car suddenly hit me, I will believe that it’s a punishment for me. For hurting someone so precious for me. Why did I ever do that again? I truly hate myself now.

“Jinki...”

“Did you ever love me?”

I snap out of myself and look at him immediately. His voice is shuttering out of his tears. I can’t stand seeing him like this.

“I’m so sorry, Jinki. I’m sorry for screwing this up. I’m sorry for being a jerk. I’m sorry hurting you. I’m... i’m...”

“Did you ever love me, Minho?”

“If you know how much I love you Jinki, I don’t think you’ll be stuffed by it. This love fills my heart it’s hurting me to know you’re not beside me.”

He is still crying. I don’t know what I should do to make him stop crying. I don’t worth those tears. He is not supposed to cry because of me. I should have made him happy, not hurt like this.

“If you love me, why did you do that?”

“I... I was stupid and hormonal. He was just giving himself to me and... I didn’t want to push you to do something you didn’t want to...”

“Why Taemin?”

“He was there and willingly. I... he offered himself to me.”

Here we are. Standing in the middle of the graveyard, in front of Jinki’s parents’ grave nonetheless. I’m ashamed of myself. I’m ashamed of the promised I said to them. To always make Jinki happy. To never let him down no matter what. And I start crying.

“I love you Jinki. I truly love you.”

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Jinki’s POV:

“I love you Jinki. I truly love you.”

He is crying. It’s the first time he has ever cried in front of anyone. It hurts me. However hurts that I feel, there’s this special feeling that will always belongs to him. He will always be someone that has my first love. Nothing can change that. I hate the fate for playing this game to me. I hate it when I can’t deny that I still love him.

“I love you too, Minho...”

Then he looks up with hopeful eyes.

“... But we just can’t be.”

I can tell how frightened he is with my eyes. How hopeless and scared he is. But I hope he will understand. We just can’t be. I found them not too long after my parents’ death. I won’t ever be able to forget it. Whatever cost I pay, I still can’t forgive it.

“Jinki, i’m sorry... Please, I’ll do anything. I really love you, Jinki!!!”

“Then you should let me go, Minho.”

“But Jinki, I...”

“Only seeing you like this is hurting me, Minho. That scene is playing over and over inside my heart. If you really love me, then let me go, Minho.”

Minho falls down and cries harder. Have I told how hurt it is to see him cry? I don’t want the last memory about me is seeing him crying hopelessly. The Choi Minho I know is someone that will always give me strength with his optimistic thinking that will always smile to me nod shows how strong he is. And he has to be that person to me. I need him to be strong. Because I don’t know if I can handle this kind of Minho in front of me. I’m scared that I will be moved and takes everything’s back in an instant. And I know that I can’t have that. Am I a selfish person? For asking him to go away only to heal myself? For telling him that we can’t be when both of us obviously love each other? Then let me be that selfish man. Let me that man who will always remember his love for him. Let me punish myself for not being able to forgive him.

I sit down in front of him and take his face on my hands. Since when Choi Minho can be this small?

“I’m sorry Minho. I’m sorry.”

I let go all of my tears. My tears for him and me. For our love story that will never have a happy ending. I can see him hurting. That’s why we have to end this.

The next thing I know I’m trapped inside a muscular hug that the warmth is not a stranger to me. That time I realize how I miss his hug. How I miss this comforting warmth that cocooned me inside and makes me believes that everything is gonna be okay.

“Please don’t say you’re sorry, Jinki. Your nothing but innocent. I’m the one who supposed to say that.”

“Minho...”

“Let me stay like this, Jinki. Please. Because if this is the last time I have to hug you, then let me have this, Jinki. Then I promise you, I’ll let you go.”

I immediately hug him back. If he is right, if this is the last chance we have to hug, then I will let him.

“I love you, Jinki. I will let you go.”

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That night, when Jinki and Changmin is back to their own hotel room, Jinki is breaking down again, a message comes in his phone.

From: Unknown Number

I will always love you, Jinki. I will love you silently.

And even if this hurt, I will let you go.

Please, be happy, Jinki. I’m praying for your happiness.

And I hope, the next time we meet again, we can be back together as friends.

But the tears he lets go is a relieved tear. A thankful tear.

“Thank you, Minho. Thank you...”

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A/N:

Haiiiii... Hai... Long times no see... *actinglikenothingshappen

Okay....

I’M SORREEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHH!!!! Ii plead in guilty for not updating this story for ages!!! But I really have great reasons!!!

Firstly, i’m in my last year of college and i’m struggling with my thesis right now and it’s killing me and I can’t stand it and I just want to throw my notebook away (even though I can’t. THIS IS MY BABY WE ARE TALKING ABOUT!!!!) And I just hate seeing Microsoft Words!!!!! Okay, i’m being emotional freaks now...

Secondly, i’m stuck!!! I run out of idea. I even went to the extent of panicking when I saw MiyuLisis’s comment and thought, “OH GOSH!!! WHERE DID I LOSE JINKI?! WHERE IS HE?!” Yeah, actually you can relate this stressful situation to reason number 1. I just lose it.

The last one is, and whether I want to admit it or not, is the most embarrassing reason out of all, I kind lack comment. I want to hear all of your comments, your uproar, your thinking, you’re about this story. Sorry for being an embarrassing author. I just realize that this is not why I wanted to when I first wrote a piece. From this moment, I promise to update within my hectic schedule and stressful college time.

Oh and... About this chapter. Did you all see this coming? Hehehehhee... Hope you like it...

ONEW FTW!!!!! HE WILL ALWAYS BE MY ULTIMATE BIAS NO MATTER WHAT!!!!