I was lying on my bed, trying to fall asleep but it really didn't work with me. I was just... I don't know. Scared? Something like that. I just felt like I didn't belong here. Well, where I truly belonged? The answer was one. And, of course, I was thinking about what Leeteuk said.

~Flashback~

" Are you sure you don't want to change or take a shower?" Leeteuk said but I just shook my head and sighed.
"Just tell me what you have to say and then I'll go" I coldly said. I was feeling guilty because of the fact that I was total but... I just didn't know how to act in front of them.
"Okay. Ugh. You father called me a few days ago asking a favor. He told me this is urgent need and if this is a problem if you, his daughter, could live here for a while. I was a bit shocked but I agreed. He told that this is... You need this. You need change of an area. And also he don't want you to doing the mess while he'll plan his... marriage." The last part he told on one breath. Okay, you have to be kidding me. My eyes probably remained a plates.
"WHAT?! MARRIAGE?! W-WITH WHO?! I WILL JUST KILL THAT ING !" I yelled like a crazy but I didn't care. He wants what?! Replacing my mother?! With a some stupid ?! Hell NO!
"Calm down Kimbelry, just calm down, I don't know who it is!" Leeteuk said, looking at me with a cold gaze. "Even if I know, I won't tell you. This has nothing to do with you. This is your father's decision. And he just wants to be happy. So accept this even if it hurts you, kay?" My father's marriage has nothing to do with ME?! But I just turned my head to not let him see my tears. But I didn't saw Kyuhyun who was in front of me now and was looking straight at my eyes like he was going to say 'I know what you're feeling right now'. I blinked a few times and again looked at SuJu leader again.
"Whatever. I'm really sorry now, but I will just go to sleep. It was hard day and I don't want to punch anybody just for a good 'hello'. So, goodnight everyone" I said with a sarcastic tone and went out of the living room. I didn't know how am I going to find my room but who cares? And then I heard someone is also going out.
"Wait! I'll go with you." I heard and then I felt his closeness behind me. I started to walk faster, trying to not look at him. We walked in silence. I had that weird feeling he is staring at me but I didn't look back even once.
We went to a big hall and then he walked to a door named with my name. I blinked a few times, being surprised by the fact they were trying to give me family feeling. I felt guilty again. Why am I so y to them then?
"Hey, I'm sorry about earlier. I was just..." I stopped didn't know how I should end this sentence. Shocked? Scared? Furious? Everything was perfect.
"Ohh, don't apologize! I truly understand you. But please, try not to scream anymore, kay? You're more beautiful when you don't do that" he said and I felt a little blush on my cheeks. Okay, it was nice, but I didn't like guys who try to get the girl when they don't know her at all. I looked straight at him and gave him a warning. He choked a little and then went away, saying something about Donghae. I smiled with a wide smile and sighed. Yeah, acting like a is in my blood I think.

~End of flashback~

I sighed and then heard first verses of my fav Eminem's song. I looked at the screen and in a moment I forgot about everything I was thinking about. I picked it up as fast I could and then I heard my best friend's voice.
"Hallo? Kimmy?"
"NATHAN!" I screamed and then covered my mouth with a hand. Ugh, I hated living with someone.
"Ohh, My Little-Thing! Have you gone crazy already?" he smiled and I smiled too. Nate was my friend since childhood. He was here for me every time I needed him and right now wasn't the exception.
"I'm... I'm fine. I think." I sighed, sitting on the bed.
"What happened, sweetheart?" I heard a worried tone in his voice. I knew it was gonna end like this.
"Richard's getting married! YAY! Let's be happy altogether with his new " I sarcastically said and then first tears I stopped back then, started to come out from my eyes. I wished so much he could be here with me! Well, life usually isn't that kind. Anyway, he was one person who saw me crying and I never regretted it. He was worth it.
"Stop crying, Kimberly Natalie White! Right now! Or I swear, I'll get the first plane and..."
"NO!" I yelled again and lower my voice, looking around in panic. "You can't! I don't want you to get bothered by me!"
"You have to be kidding me, Kimmy! You never be a bother to me! I loved you, I love you and I always will, you get it? You are my best friend and nothing can change it. Even if we are apart, we will never be apart in our hearts, understand me?" he said with a strong voice, which made me even sadder.
"I love you too, Nate." I whispered and sighed a little.
"I know, babe. So just stay strong, be careful, don't get into fights and... Well, that's all. I'll call you tomorrow, kay?"
"Okay." I whispered again and all I could hear was signal which ended our call. I stood up, looking in the mirror and trying to smile. Well, it didn't work anyway so I just gave up and get my favorite sport outfit from my wardrobe. I changed very fast and went out from my room. I was looking for a dance studio and I ended up wandering for a half an hour. But I didn't mind that. I could think about everything.
I was about to give up when I saw a white doors. I opened them and almost screamed from happiness. It was very modern but also classy. Of course, walls were covered with mirrors but there was also a platform with a beautiful, white piano. I smiled a little and went to a radio. I played the first CD and then I started to dance. Inside Out by Britney. Poker Face. Look At Her Go.
It was all I needed. I just wanted to calm down, let all my thoughts go away. Just be yourself for a moment. And it was all possible only when I was dancing. Just moving to the music, being one with a rhythm. I didn't need anything else, I could spend eternity like that. AND THEN, the song was over. I stopped, breathing faster that it was normal. And then I heard clapping behind me. I slowly turned around and saw Eunhyuk standing there with a huge smile on his lips. His blond hair were in a mess, he looked like he just woke up. And maybe it was that. It was already 2 a.m.
"I'm so so sorry! I woke you up, right? I didn't know the song was that loud!" I said, turning off the radio and trying to be nice. He shook his head and his hair looked more messy.
"No, you didn't woke me up! I just.. couldn't sleep. And when I can't sleep or being worried or angry... it's the best way to end it." He smiled again and slowly went near the place I stood." But I figured out that you already know it. You are actually pretty good. But you are a bit... Hm, how to call it. A bit... awkward? Something like that. Try to loose up a bit! Music won't bite you!" He laughed and put hand on my shoulder. I looked at him coldly, trying to guess what he was thinking at that moment. He laughed again and I could see funny flickers in his eyes. "No, I'm not gonna you right, here right now. If you want, I could show you how to make your body more flexible, more relaxed. That's all." He said, rolling his brown eyes. I rolled my eyes too and crossed my arms.
"Okay, but if you are freaking ert, I'm gonna kick your . And believe me, I can do it" I warned him and smiled a bit. This was all I could give him, I wasn't ready to show them real me. He replied with wide smile and then put his hand on my stomach.
"Okay, now take a deep breath, using only midriff, not your lungs. Try to get rid of bad thoughts, imagine something good. Some place you can relax or you feel happy there. You know what I mean"
"Yeah, I know, now please, be quiet, I'm trying to do everything you said!" I nagged, but I think he didn't take this to heart. He was so easygoing! Every normal person would just give up and go away. But he? He didn't do nothing but a quiet laugh.
I took deep, very deep breath, feeling his hand on my stomach. He was so close. I knew if I just opened my eyes I could see his, brown, deep ones. Their color looked like a strong coffee, with a little bit of milk. Or like bitter chocolate. I've had so much thoughts but even one didn't was the right one.
My heart suddenly started to beat faster, my pulse also wasn't in norm. I opened my eyes and everything stopped. He was really that close. Even closer. I could see every single detail of his face and my eyes just got bigger. We were standing like that for awhile and then I took a step back, while he was trying to clean his throat.
"So, this is how it should be. Do it every time and it'll really help you. Anyway, if you don't mind, I want practice, soo.." I didn't say anything, just walked away from that place, when I almost had heart attack because of some guy. How annoying was THAT?!
With a hope I won't think about it ever again, I went to my room and simply fell asleep. And for the first time from mom's death I haven't had nightmares.

***

I woke up in amazing mood. I didn't even open my eyes but I had huge smile on my face. It was so nice, to not have nightmares, and even no dreams, for all night. I turned my head a bit, looking at my watch. It was already 11 a.m. but I didn't have strength to get up. I felt so warm and happy right there! I didn't know what was responsible for my amazing mood but I really didn't care. I was about to fall asleep again when I heard knocking on my door.
"Yes?" I replied and I could see Siwon's face, looking at me with an awkward look. I bet he was thinking I'll start screaming again. I smiled, what gave him much more confidence.
"Be ready in 15 minutes, kay? Shindong prepare a breakfast for you so please, be nice." He said and I rolled my eyes.
"Please. I always am." I could hear his laughter even of he was outside my room. I laughed a bit too and jumped out of my bed.
This day started fantastic. I was just hoping it'll be like that for a few hours more.

Chapter two! I like it, but even more I like chapter three xDD You'll see it soon I hope ;)) Anyway, did you like Eunhyuk/Kim moment? ;DD I was thinking about cutting it off but... Well, I ended up leaving it xDD I would love to hear your opinions! ;)))