Chapter 15 ~~

<MUSIC; play if you want to>

She wasn’t able to stop her tears, even when she went out from the plane at the airport in Chicago. She was just able to walk with her head down and blurry look, not even pay attention to people around her, who were almost bumping into her, sometimes cursing her for not looking. She didn’t care. She didn’t look up. She didn’t even answer. She was just walking and walking, feeling nothing but pain, even worse from this one, which she felt while her mom died. It was like tearing every little organ in her body to pieces; she wanted to scream but only inside. She couldn’t show her emotions. Silence outside was the best option. No one could know her true feelings, not now.

“Kim!” Someone yelled, making her turn around. She looked at that person and tears started to coming out again, when she noticed Nathan who was running to her with a worried look. She started to run too; just to hide in his warm arms, just to fell this feeling that no one can hurt her anymore.

“N-Nat-t-t-e…”

“It’s okay, Little thing. You’re safe now.” He whispered and hugged her, taking her to his car. She looked up again, looking at him with empty look.

“You never told me that love is that painful…” He heard her whisper and got frozen for a moment, hugging her tighter.

“Because love is beautiful. Just not that kind of it. This one was just nothing more but the pleasure because of your pain. You’ll have time to see it, Kimberly.” He replied and she couldn’t do anything more but slightly shaking her head and looking down, closing her green, empty eyes.

***

Eunhyuk was… Angry? Furious? Mad?

Eunhyuk was… Sad? Hopeless? Desperate?

Eunhyuk was… Hurt?

Yes.

He was; deeply and painfully. Because of this one girl, who he finally started to love.

For a past few days he couldn’t do anything but live like an awful zombie. He was eating, practicing, sleeping and nothing more. He didn’t even smile, unless it was for an interview or a meeting but it was fake smile, made with a huge effort and power of will. Inside he was crying, shouting andtearing his foolishness to the pieces because of what happened. And the worst things were looks that members were serving him; those sympathetic, sad glances which made him even madder at himself. He just wanted to stay in his room, looking at the ceiling with an empty look but the performance was in a week. He had to be prepared.

But the truth was that Eunhyuk didn’t want to perform anymore. His heart didn’t want it that badly like before. And he knew why. Members knew why. But no one said it out loud.

Goodbye. I’ll miss you…

***

She woke up, opening her eyes with a bit of effort. The sunlight was hurting her eyes but she hardly got up, looking at the face of her best friend laying next to her. He was smiling with his hair in a mess and red blush on his cheeks which made him look adorable. In fact, Nathan Smith was very cute all the time but she could see it now clearer. She wanted to smile but then everything went back to her, making her heart frozen for a moment.

“How could I ever thing that it was only a dream?” Kim whispered and started to slowly get up, trying to not wake up her friend. It was five days since that situation and she still couldn’t believe to what happen. Her heart still was hurting every time she thought about this person. It was just impossible to stop this when it started and then she couldn’t do nothing more but laying on the floor like an embryo and cry. It was only relief.

She sighed, looking into the mirror and the person she saw in it wasn’t her for sure. Pale, almost white skin, empty eyes, tracesof tears which was slipping down her face almost all the time.

She wasn’t the same girl anymore.

“What the hell happened to you, Kimberly White?” She whispered to the girl in the mirror and closed her eyes, staying like this for a few seconds.

“Kim, where are you?” She heard worried voice and replied after few second.

“Bathroom!”

Her friend almost bumped into her while trying to get into room.

“What are you doing here at so early hour? Why aren’t you sleeping?” Nate asked, looking at her with suspicious gaze. She tried to smile, but it turned to ugly grimace.

“Um, I just couldn’t sleep. You keep snoring.” Kim replied with a sigh, looking away.

“Yeah, right. Anyway, try to fall asleep again, okay? Don’t think about… stuff.” He stuttered and took her hand, coming with her to the bedroom and making her lay on bed again. She closed her eyes, whispering something he couldn’t hear and then he laid next to her, covering them with a blanket.

“You love him, for real?” He asked before thinking and then covered mouth with hand fast, hoping that she didn’t hear it. Well, hope is a mother of fools.

“Yes, Nate. I do.”

“So why you won’t forgive him?” another stupid question.

“I want to… I really do. But sometimes it’s just too hard.”

A minute of silence.

“You think he loves you too?”

“I-I… I don’t know anymore. He confessed… But were that true words? Maybe he was just playing around?” She whispered, looking straight into his eyes. He could almost feel her pain.

“Kim… If he did that… If he confessed… I-I don’t think he was joking, Kim. I heard Korean’s take this kind of thing seriously.” Nate replied, looking more serious than ever. She sighed, closing her eyes and trying to smile again.

“Well… Let’s just not talk about it anymore, okay? Past is past. We can’t do nothing about it.”

He just nodded his head and closed his eyes but in his mind started to form great plan.

***

“EUNHYUK! You messed up. Again.” He heard Leeteuk’s voice and looked at him, face palming himself.

“Sorry hyung. I just…”

“Whatever. Try to not do this again.” Older sighed and let out a worried sigh. It wasn’t normal for Eunhyuk to mess up dance moves.  Well, it was more than not normal! It was like a storm in the middle of sunny day!

But what was normal since she wasn’t here?

“Again; one, two, three and…! Eunhyuk-ah!” The choreographer moaned again, looking at him with a shocked look. The younger just shook his head with nothing more but emptiness in his eyes.

“Um, let me rest for a minute, okay?” He asked with a quiet voice and almost run away from the scene, not even looking at other members, who were calling him with worried voices. He simply couldn’t handle that. He run into the restroom, looking at himself in the mirror. Well, not at himself. Better will be saying ‘at the pale, empty man with nothing but pain in his heart’.

“You really love her, don’t you?” He suddenly hear Kyuhyun’s voice, somewhere around the door.

“Get the hell out of here or I swear…”

“Calm down. I know I did the wrong thing but…”

“like I said before. Get. The hell. Out. Of. Here!” Eunhyuk screamed, raising his fist and hitting the mirror with it.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Younger screamed and run to injured man who moaned and looked at blood coming out fast. “Oh god, LEETEUK HYUNG!”

***

“Where are we going, Nate?” She asked again, looking at his friend with a worried look. He pointed at something in front of them, smiling a little.

Airport.

What…

What the…

“AIRPORT?! What the hell?” She screamed and almost hit her head on the window while trying to convince herself that it’s not what she think it is.

“Kim. This is the best option. You are hurt. And maybe I’m not a specialist in that kind of things but I think you should clear this up.” He replied with a smile and stopped the car at the airport’s parking.

“You really are out of…”

“No, Kimberly White. Just think of it for a minute. Last time this damn dumb boy Kyuhyun messed up everything for both of you, form what I heard. I’m sure he added some lies too. So maybe you should just hear Eunhyuk instead of laying on bed and crying? It’s not you, Kim.” He said, looking at her seriously. “So please, take this and go.”

She looked at the ticked in her hand and then again at her smiling friend with a hesitation.

“But what if…”

“There’s no ‘buts’, Kim. He loves you, you love him, now go or you’ll be late for plane!” he yelled and unlocked her seatbelt, almost pushing her out from the car and gave her small bag.

“If everything will go wrong… I’ll personally kill you!” She screamed for the last time after the car and sighed.

It wasn’t good thing to come back.

But he was right. She should hear Eunhyuk’s version too before coming home.

Yes...

With a heavy heart, she started to walk.

Please, kill me because of this crap. This is my only request.