Read this and think of when you are in a REALLY bad mood.

Upon waking up early the next morning, Kibum was hurried to take a shower, get dressed, and eat something for breakfast before they left for his appointment. It was hardly half-past eight when he stood by the front door waiting for Heechul, who was writing a quick note that they were leaving for a few hours and if any of them got hungry then they could reheat leftovers.

The drive to the office was filled with silence, as both were not quite in the mood to talk since it was still pretty early. But that didn’t stop Kibum from scowling out the window as they pulled into the parking lot. Sessions with Jia were the one thing in life he detested most of all, especially after the little stunt she’d pulled a few months ago. But he knew that despite anything, Heechul would make him talk to her anyways. Of course, that didn’t stop him from being stubborn and refusing to move, but Heechul was quite used to this behavior and pulled him inside anyways. After signing Kibum in the secretary beckoned Kibum to follow her, and Heechul went to sit on a hard, plastic chair for the next hour.

“Hi, Kibum! How are you?” Jia said enthusiastically when Kibum walked into her office. Kibum said nothing and went to go sit in the usual burgundy seat across from her desk. The office smelled like freshly brewed coffee and cheap perfume, and he wanted to express this but knew it wasn’t worth getting grounded over.

The usual routine went in place, and for seven minutes they sat there in silence as Kibum brooded. But when the eight minute ticked by, Jia folded her hands and leaned against her desk, ready to start the conversation.

“So, tell me about something that made you happy recently,” She requested. She knew that it was best to start off on a positive note, to get Kibum to open up and be willing to talk. If not then he would refuse to speak and spend an hour sitting there in silence.

Kibum shrugged his shoulders and glanced at her. As much as he hated seeing her, he knew that the session really did help. Jia always had a way to help make him feel better; not that he’d ever admit that to her.

“Um, last night hyung and I went out for ice cream,” He began, looking up at her. Jia nodded her head, encouraging him to go on. “I was able to talk about Dayeun, about happy memories of her, without feeling sad or depressed. It makes me feel really good to know that I can do this now, because I don’t want to keep her locked away,” He confessed.

“So you like being able to talk about her with your family,” Jia confirmed, earning a shy smile from Kibum.

“Yeah, because it makes me feel like I’m moving on from what happened instead of being held back by it. I still get really sad when I realize that I’ll never see her again,” Kibum paused and took a shaky breath, willing himself not to cry. He knew that he was stronger, that he could do this. “But I accept it now, and I don’t think of the negative side of it. I want to remember her happily, not miserably.”

“That’s very mature, Kibum. I’m proud of you,” Jia praised him. “But I can tell something is bothering you. What’s on your mind?”

At this, Kibum frowned slightly. He hated how he could never hide anything from her; it was like she could see right through him and always seemed to know when he actually needed to talk about something. But it wasn’t her that he wanted to talk to. He didn’t want to open up his deepest thoughts with her, but at the same time he didn’t want to talk to Heechul either. So in the end, it really didn’t matter.

He moved his eyes towards his lap, where his hands lay and his thumbs twiddling together as he tried to dodge answering her.

“Kibum, what’s going on? You don’t need to keep it to yourself. Locking things up only makes you feel worse, you know that,” Jia coaxed softly. Kibum bit his lip and nodded; she was right. It hurt to keep things to himself and he hated how it always twisted his mind around to think pessimistically.

“My head feels foggy again,” He whispered, referring to how he felt a few months ago before being put on medication. It was often a term depressive people used to describe their mind, that fog was clouding their every thought and preventing them from thinking and feeling emotions normally. The medication made the fog clear up, but apparently it was beginning to wear off.

“Things have been happening and I keep getting really anxious and scared and my mind keeps telling me all sorts of things, bad things…I don’t like it.” He quickly wiped his cheek as tears began to escape, cursing himself for letting this happened. He wanted to be strong, to be able to handle himself and control his emotions like a normal person. But the feelings that had been building up the past few weeks were overwhelming, dying to be let loose and talked about.

“What sorts of things have been happening to make you feel this way?” Jia asked him, glancing down at the evaluation paper on her desk and quickly began to scribble notes of everything that he’d just told her. Her mind was reeling with questions to ask him, to urge him to open up and spill everything. Was it family trouble? Loneliness? Or perhaps something that dwelled deeper, a topic that they’d yet to talk about? She needed to know this or there was no way she could help him.

But Kibum couldn’t tell her; he didn’t know how or what to say. Everything just felt so confusing and mixed up because of what happened between him, Donghae, and Heechul and when they’d yelled at him, to distancing himself from both of them, and then to all the crazy feelings he was having because of Key. So for the rest of the session, Jia attempted to encourage Kibum to say what was really bothering him, but once he began to get frustrated she knew to stop, not to push him anymore or he would just angry. She left the office for a moment, only to return with Heechul in tow just like she did at the end of every session, so they could all sit down and think of a plan to help Kibum.

“I know that this kills you, Kibum, but I feel that it would be in your best interest to go back to weekly sessions,” Jia started off. Kibum’s expression darkened but he kept his mouth shut, knowing that even if he protested that Heechul would agree with her.

“Also, I would like him to start taking a high dose of the medication that he’s currently prescribed.”

“Alright,” Heechul approved instantly. Kibum gaped at him with wide eyes, shaking his head ardently in denial.

“No! I don’t want to take those stupid pills anymore,” He exclaimed, frustrated. But his objections were ignored, and moments later they were heading back to the car.

Kibum slammed the door, throwing himself into the front seat and angrily slinging the buckle across his chest. Heechul gave him a look but said nothing as he started the car and pulled away. As he drove, Heechul made a quick call to Kibum’s doctor to set up an appointment and much to his pleasure they were able to see Kibum today, in the next twenty minutes. Detouring the path from home, they arrived at the doctor’s office a few minutes later.

Kibum remained in the front seat with his arms cross, refusing to budge, but Heechul reached in and unbuckled him, pulling Kibum out anyways. Keeping a firm grip on his hand, Heechul led the way inside where they were met by Dr. Ahn, whom Kibum had been seeing for several months now. After being offended by the old family doctor, Heechul had found someone new that seemed suitable. He liked this facility very much and was pleased with how things worked there, not to mention the expertise.

“Well, Dr. Meng says that you need a higher dose of Abilify,” Dr. Ahn began, strapping a pad around Kibum’s arm to check his blood pressure. Kibum scowled at him and kept his mouth closed, so Heechul spoke up.

“We’ve noticed that the amount he’s taking isn’t enough. He’s been slipping back and I want that prevented at all costs,” He said, crossing his arms.

“Simple enough, I’ll just give you a prescription for the stronger dosage. Same routine, two pills in the morning and two at night. Now, you know the routine. Blood draw,” Dr. Ahn said, pulling out a needle.

“No,” Kibum grumbled, locking is arms at his sides. Heechul sighed and pulled Kibum’s right arm up, holding it tightly as he squirmed when the needle poked into his vein. Kibum whimpered and buried his face in Heechul’s chest, feeling his eyes water up once again. This just wasn’t fair. Heechul had promised that taking the medication would only be temporary, yet there they were making him take even more of it.

For the next twenty minutes, Heechul and the doctor talked about the side effects that Kibum could face. Although there were risks of increased depressive and suicidal thoughts, the overall outcome seemed pretty good. After Dr. Ahn wrote the prescription slip, Heechul and Kibum left.

They stopped at the pharmacy before heading home, waiting twenty minutes before the prescription was ready. Heechul tried to convince Kibum to pick out a treat, but he was in too much a bad mood to care about anything, so they went home empty handed.

As they walked through the front door, Heechul watched as Kibum stomped up the stairs to his bedroom, slamming the door shut. Walking into the living room, Heechul saw Donghae, Mir, and Key slumming around playing video games together.

“What’s wrong with Kibum?” Key asked curiously, glancing over at Heechul.

But he was beginning to regret staying home, it was quite boring with no one to hang out with. Heechul was in the basement doing laundry and the only other person home was Kibum.

Maybe he’s in a better mood now. I’ll go check and see, Key thought with a smile, moving from the couch. He quickly walked upstairs to where Kibum’s room was, knocking on the door before pushing it open without invitation. There, he saw Kibum lying in bed staring blankly at the wall, only giving him a quick glance before rolling over to face the other way.

“Huh. I guess you’re still in a bad mood,” Key said, leaning against the wall.

“Shut up,” Kibum said quietly, irritation clear in his voice. He hoped with all his might that Key would just go away and leave him alone; he had no need to deal with his snarky attitude right now.

“So why are you being cranky? And where did you go with Heechul this morning? To the store or something, and he didn’t let you get your favorite piece of candy?” Key said, laughing at that thought. In all honesty, he wasn’t trying to be mean, just lighten the mood. But apparently Kibum didn’t take that too well.

“Shut up, Key! I don’t care what you think, your opinion mean nothing to me! Just go away and leave me alone! I don’t want to listen to you anymore!” Kibum yelled loudly, rolling off his bed and stomping over to Key. He attempted to push Key out of his room, but the latter was stronger than him and tried to push him off.

“Hey! What’s gotten into you two?!” Heechul exclaimed, appearing in the doorway with a basket of laundry in his arms. He quickly set it down and bound over to the two, forcefully separating them.

“Go away!” Kibum moaned loudly, pushing Heechul away from him as well.

“Knock it off, Kibum, now,” Heechul said sternly, gently nudging Key into the hallway.

“No! Just leave me alone! I don’t want you here, hyung! You lied to me!” Kibum yelled loudly, swinging his arms wildly. Heechul sighed loudly and grabbed his arms, pinning them behind his back so he couldn’t hit anyone. He didn’t know what happened, but Kibum was having another meltdown and he could get a little violent.

“Heechul, what’s wrong with – “

“MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! Go away! I hate you both, leave me alone!”

“Kibum, you need to calm down,” Heechul said composedly, pulling Kibum back away from Key as he squirmed to get out of Heechul’s hold.

“No! You lied to me! You broke your promise!” Kibum yelled, tears streaming down his face. Heechul forced him down to the ground, holding him tightly so he couldn’t move, and turned his attention to Key.

“Downstairs in the medicine cabinet there is a bottle of pills with Kibum’s name on it. It’s called Klonopin; please bring me two of them,” He said calmly, tightening his hold on Kibum.

Key nodded and quickly went down to the kitchen, pulling open the cabinet and searching for the desired bottle. Once he found it he dumped two in his palm, wandering for a moment if he should bring a glass of water. But since Heechul didn’t say anything, he just headed back upstairs and handed over the two pills. Heechul took them and easily forced them into Kibum’s mouth, clamping his hand over so he didn’t spit them out, which he’d done many times before.

Key watched for a long time as Kibum sobbed miserably in Heechul’s arm, very slowly calming down until eventually the cries stopped. Heechul loosened his hold and let Kibum lie against him, and soon enough he passed out there on the floor. Key sat down near them and neither he nor Heechul said anything for a long time. Instead he watched enthralled as Heechul gently ran his fingers through Kibum’s hair, humming a soft melody to him.

“I don’t want you to ever mention this, Key. Just pretend that it never happened,” Heechul said after awhile.

“Okay,” Key replied quietly, unsure of what just happened.

“Kibum has some problems and he’s on medication for it. It bothers him a lot and he’d really appreciate it if you didn’t say anything about it,” Heechul explained.

Key nodded but said nothing. And for the next half hour he just sat there watching in fascination as Heechul took care of Kibum.  

Oh, if you are wondering why Key is being good, it's because he's fascinated with the fact that even though Kibum isn't Heechul's real son, Heechul is still so loving towards him even when he acts like that.