Page Eight: That Particular Day

After that shenanigan that happened earlier, it made me remember the day he talked about. The day that our paths crossed from another direction and the day which made me ask myself ‘should I regret it or not’? Up until now, I don’t have any answer for it. Ever since that day, I tried not to think about it or tried all my best to evade it and made sure it won’t come up again.

I closed my eyes as I recalled on what happened. I was working on my part time job that coincidentally he’s in as well. Of course, it’s a secret from the university since we’re not yet allowed to do some part time work. After all, we were just freshmen. Believe it or not, our university is weird like that and only allowing students that reached a particular GPA for them to have permission to work. Since we were freshmen, we have a clean sheet of grading paper and a long way to get permission.

If no one realized it yet, I am definitely an awkward person and I don’t go approaching people telling them ‘hey I’m your schoolmate, let’s be friends’ type of person. So when I saw him one day as he served one of the store’s patron, I just watched him. Fascinated on how he can be awkward yet charming at the same time.

You know, I wasn’t looking at him because of how good looking he was. Honestly, it was just recently when I’ve noticed and acknowledged that he was indeed a handsome lad. I guess you can say it was when Yoona pointed it out to me before that I had acknowledged it. What I was really looking at was how his moves fascinated me. Awkward yet charming to a point that you wanted him to be comfortable with you, that kind of feeling and no wonder every single (or married) woman in our store tried to get his attention. Which they always failed and somehow, I felt happy. Not that he noticed me.

The reason I kept on telling myself I’m not interested in him was because I am studying him. We both are awkward with others especially strangers and both have the gloomy feeling with it. The only difference was he can be friendly and can show his kindness without puking his guts out unlike mine. So I made him a point of reference.

Every day, I would often watch him whenever I wasn’t too busy with the work given to me.  Or if I just have a second to spare, I’ll look at him on how his mouth would curve into a timid smile and make small talks with the patrons. At that time, I was so envious of his gentle and elegant movements that made me feel ashamed of my gender.

So there’s this day when he looked so upset, not that anyone noticed, as he still have that smile plastered on his face. I guess watching him bore its fruits as I realized that there’s something wrong. He broke two glasses since he clumsily bumped into someone and he never did clumsy. Clumsy was meant for me and not for him. That was the first that I saw him flustered and bothered so I gathered my courage and talked to him for the very first time.

“Go and disinfect you hand. I’ll clean this up.” I whispered in a tiny voice as I gently swat his hands. A blush crept on my face as I felt his eyes on me and my heart beats faster as he uttered a simple thank you.

It was the first and the last time I talked to him at that time. But that was the start of him changing into a clumsy guy that the manager has even scolded him for. The guy whom I envious of has changed and that peaked my interest for quite a bit.

To satisfy my curiosity, I followed him one time after both our shifts has ended. I went on and skipped classes just to do this. Trying my best for him not to notice me that I was following him and I realized I’m the best in hiding my existence. After all, I’m a certified wallflower to everyone.

I saw him enter an elementary school and I have this nagging feeling to follow him inside which I did not. Waiting outside for him would be enough and I don’t want to risk him busting me up. After a while, he went out with a younger boy on his arms. I can remember bits of their conversation since I found it so endearing to hear him soothe his younger brother, I assumed at that time. Which I later confirmed that the younger boy was indeed his brother.

“Hyung, appa did came home yesterday with an ugly girl. It made mom cry.” I heard the little boy said and I saw him wince at his brother’s words.

I saw him gritted his teeth as if trying to calm the anger inside him. Anyone can see that he was enraged. I’ll be if it happens to me.

He messed up the hair of the little boy and said, “Don’t ask mom about it, okay? It will just add to her problems. I’ll explain things to you after everything has been settled.”

I guess my admiration for him started there. He is willing to talk to his brother about their domestic problems without sugar coating it for him. He didn’t even say the usual mantra of the adults that they’ll talk about it when they’re the right age. I heard it a lot before her mother divorced my father because it’s not just working. Now I wished I have a brother like him at that time. Not that I’m not blessed to have a sister like mine but that’s another story.

So as the story goes, I followed them until they reached their house and I saw a beautiful older woman who looked a bit like him. She looked so weak and stressed. Just like how my mom looks like when she was in the middle of the divorce. Quickly, I understood the situation and no wonder he was so bothered and tired.

I left right after.

It was a few weeks after when I saw his family again. But now without him and it was purely coincidental. I was on my way to run some errands for my overbearing sister when I saw and heard a little boy screaming for help. I followed the voice trail and saw his younger brother crying in front of a woman who was lying on the cemented floor.

“Help us! Help!” The younger boy continued to scream and as I gave him a timid smile as I checked the pulse of the woman.

“She’s okay. She probably just fainted.” I said and slung my body bag across. I knelt down and tried to pull up the woman. But I’m weak. So I turned to the little guy and smiled uneasily, “I can’t pull her all by myself. Can you help me out, big guy?”

A small smile formed on the boy’s lips and nodded as he helped out. He assisted her in bringing his mother to a shaded bench. I bought two bottles of cold water and gave one to the younger boy.

“Here you go, drink this up.” I said as I gave him an opened bottle while I told him to give the other to his mother.

“Thanks.” The little boy said.

God knows I wanted to stay at that time but I can’t risk my life due to my erratic older sister. If I had stayed for a few more minutes, it would have changed everything. But I never thought of it at that time and I never knew that I would have to cross his paths more often than I ever wanted.

I never thought that he would come minutes later after I left. I never thought that he would look for the girl who helped his family when he wasn’t around. I never thought that he would take his little brother’s description without a grain of salt and mistook Yoona for me. Who wouldn’t when his brother’s description is as broad as the sky?

Lastly, it never crossed my mind that I would fall for him.

Because if all of these crossed my mind before, I would gladly have stayed and risked the wrath of my older sister. If I have thought all of these then it would be my hand that he’s holding now. No complications, no problems.

Just us.

But I guess things happens for a reason.

Or maybe, he wasn’t really meant for me.

Maybe.

Note: Boring chapter, right? But you all have questions.. i hoped i answered a few. :))