Page Seventeen: Dealing with the Truth

“Let go.” I told him in a soft yet stern voice without looking at him. I can feel his eyes burning holes on my head but I refused to look at him. Instead of letting my hand go, he tightened his hold to it and squeezed it tightly. 

“No.” Seunghyun whispered. His tone is pleading. Pleading to me that I won’t ask him again.

“Seunghyun, please.” I whispered back as I can already feel that some people were looking at us. Finally, I met his eyes and looked at him while I whisper, “Let’s not make a scene here.”

“We’re not making one.” Seunghyun shrugged his shoulders to my disappointment. Sighing, I told him, “People are looking at us and I wouldn’t mind it a bit if you will just let go of my hand.”

Then his lips curved into a smug smile as he squeezed my hand again as he said, “I like holding your hand. It’s warm and soft.”

“Don’t say stuff like that! No wonder people misunderstood our relationship.” I snorted and managed to take my hand back unknowingly. Looking at his stunned face, I guess he didn’t expect that at all. I thought that he will just let it go but I didn’t know him better.

He smiled playfully as he swing his arms around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him. He was so close that I can smell his citrus scented cologne mixed with his own manly scent. Just getting a sniff of it makes me want to curl under his arms and get lost in it. I scold myself for even thinking things like that when he is my friend’s boyfriend.

“What are you smiling about?” I asked in my annoyed tone while I avoid the other people’s stares at us.

“Our relationship…” Seunghyun repeated my earlier words. “For some reason, I like the sound of it and how the words rolled into my mouth.”

My cheeks burned as I realized what he meant. This can no longer goes on and he’s not good for my heart as I feel like my heart would leap out of my ribs because of him. Puffing out some air, I glared at him and crossed my arms on my chest as I uttered, “We don’t have that kind of a relationship.”

“Well, we can certainly change that, Dar.” He whispered behind my ear that I almost jumped away from him. The roll of the ‘r’ in my name just sounded seductive like he was inviting me to bed. I felt my cheeks warmed again as I scold myself for having such thoughts.

I threw him a glare and was about to tell him off when I heard one of Yoona’s other friends yelled, “Stop flirting at your best friend’s boyfriend! You two are the only ones we’re waiting for to start the practice.”

My whole body stiffened and I felt that every part of my body up to the tips of my nails have reddened at that. Softly, I pushed away his hands wrapped around my shoulder and murmured, “Sorry” to everyone. Not even caring if they heard me or not.

This is what I get for letting my defences down when it concerns him. I should be more guarded on what I do or how I act around him since Yoona has lots of followers and friends that surround me. I felt his hand on my back guiding me back to where we are positioned and I can see his jaws tightened. He seemed furious at what just occurred.

“I’m sorry about that.” I whispered with my head lowered.

His eyes widened in surprise and disbelief at my apologies as I heard him utter, “Why are you saying your apologies to me?”

Softly, I let out a weak laugh, “About earlier? You…”

He let out a snort as he slowly turned me around to face him. With his left hand, he raised my head gently to meet his eyes and stared at me intensely. Different emotions flashed in his eyes as he whispered, “No, you shouldn’t be the one to apologize. Not at all since you don’t deserve that kind of treatment.” Gritting his teeth, he added, “I’ll deal with them later and don’t let it get to you.”

I avoided his gaze as I shrugged my shoulders like I’m nonchalant about the whole thing when it’s quite the opposite. Barely a whisper, I said, “Not like it matter to them.”

“But it matters to me.” He said which surprised me. He finally smiled, “Surprise?” I nodded which he smugly told me, “I’m always attentive when it comes to you.”

“Shut up.” I told him and pushed him away that made him laugh before the announcer has spoken on stage for the start of the final dress rehearsal before the fashion show.

I feel his hand hold mine as the other pairs in front of us have started to walk outside and on to the runway. My heart starts beating wildly as he just squeeze my hand quite a few times and when it was our turn, he reluctantly let it go so that I can do my practice walk and poses. It was nerve-racking to feel those eyes on me and hearing them talk badly. I may have been able to stand it if it was just me alone but hearing those snide remarks on him is something I really can’t stand.

I guess that made me remember my conversation with Yoona that Minho and Seunghyun were curious about. I can still hear her accusing words.

“Seunghyun is asking to break up because of you.” Yoona simply said.

“What?”

“Stay away from him, Dara.” She ordered me like it was something I should have done from the beginning. “I don’t want to lose you as my friend.”

I almost laughed at her statement. At that moment, I’m in awe at her. It seems like this is the limit to our so-called friendship, a man. Just because of one man whom I never had shown any interest in stealing from her.

“Is this the end of our friendship?” I asked her and crossing my fingers that she will tell me that I’m wrong.  I added, “I consider Seunghyun as a friend too.”

“But he doesn’t see you as one.” Yoona said and I can see one of her eyebrows rose. “And I can’t lose him to you.”

“So it all ended up in losing him to me? You can stand it if you lose him to another popular girl but not to someone like me.” I told her and shook my head in disapproval. “I never realized how poor you think of me.” I looked at her from head to toe and said, “Some friend you are.”

“You don’t want me as your enemy, Dara.” Yoona said.

“Neither do I want to continue as your friend.” I told her and walked away from her.

The memories of what happened with Yoona flooded my mind as I realized that I should stay away from both of them. I don’t want to get in between the two now that my friendship with Yoona has been severed. Though I’m not sure if anyone aside from the two of us knew what happened.

Regardless, I have to stay away until both of them resolved their problem. Our friendship maybe over but I don’t want to be accused as the reason why the two has parted ways. I’m sure Seunghyun would be blamed and his reputed would be tainted because of me.

As soon as the practice was over, I told him, “Yoona will be the one to walk with you on the show.” Then without waiting for his response, I walked away from him and never looked back because I’m afraid that I would not be able to leave.

Because I can finally admit it to myself that I care for him more than a friend should.