Fourteen

Don't make my mind all scrambled up

 

 

Seulgi entered the room and followed Irene to the bed. The latter sat down on her previous spot and buried her head on her knees as she hugged them tight. 

 

Irene looked so small and Seulgi couldn't help but feel heartbroken.

 

"How are you holding up?" Seulgi knew it was a stupid question but she didn't know what else to say.

 

"I already talked to manager-nim." Irene said in a hollow voice. "They said there's nothing else to do except wait for everything to die down."

 

Seulgi sat down beside Irene and she heaved a great sigh.

 

"They're being so unfair." Seulgi choked out. She was so frustrated that she wanted to cry. "You don't deserve this, unnie."

 

"Just hold me, Seulgi." Irene said. "Please?"

 

Seulgi immediately took Irene in her arms and together they laid on the bed. Irene cried her heart out as Seulgi her hair and reassured her that everything will be just fine, she shouldn't overthink much, and that she should know everybody's got her back.

 

Irene eventually fell asleep.

 

When she woke up, Seulgi was still there and she felt a lot calmer now.

 

"Everyone is still pretty worried," Seulgi said in a soothing tone. "I don't want to rush you if you're not ready, but the members want to see you."

 

"Okay," Irene said, still not letting go of Seulgi. "I'm ready. Let them in."

 

Seulgi did not want to leave Irene's side even for a second so she just texted Wendy to say that they can come inside. In no time at all, the door burst open and the girls all rushed in. Everyone engulfed Irene in a hug and she cried harder at the overwhelming flow of love and support that her members had for her.

 

"Don't worry, unnie." Wendy said. "We got your back. Always."

 

"Yeah. Don't mind what the others are saying," Joy held Irene's hand. "It will be okay soon."

 

"A lot of people offered their support, Joohyun-unnie." Yeri reassured. "That's the only thing we should focus on."

 

True enough, a lot of people who personally knew Irene offered their support publicly and privately. Staff, dancers, photographers, co-workers all rallied to her aid. Even idols from other girl groups called Irene to make sure that she's okay. 

 

The girls decided to stay off social media for the rest of the day in case they come upon something triggering. They made sure that Irene was always with someone at all times and they spent the day watching comedies to get her mind off the issue. 

 

Irene's eyes were puffy and her nose was stuffed from all the crying. She just barely stopped when their manager called to inform them that all activities will be postponed as of the moment as they gauge the situation. This made Irene cry harder.

 

She felt like she really did her best as a leader and an idol but one incident at the wrong place and time happened now suddenly she felt like everything was crashing down on her. She voiced it out to Seulgi in whimpers and the latter vehemently denounced her fears.

 

"Please focus at all the good you do," Seulgi held her hand. "You're an amazing leader to us."

 

"Yeah, you always take care of us even when we don't deserve it sometimes." Joy was on the verge of crying again.

 

"Also, look at all the good things you do for others." Wendy listed down everyone who shared positive things about their leader.

 

"You're a kind and warm-hearted person, unnie." Yeri said determinedly. "I'm sure this just got blown out of proportion because you were a woman."

 

"Yeah, this never would have happened to a male idol." Joy said disdainfully. "And those piece of news sites escalated everything with fake news."

 

"Language, Park Sooyoung." Irene said as a force of habit. She then laughed despite herself.

 

The others joined in and Irene instantly felt just a tiny bit better.

 

When nighttime came, Seulgi insisted that she'd sleep in Irene's room. No one else bothered to question her.

 

They were lying down on their sides facing each other and Seulgi's brows were permanently scrunched together, concern never leaving her face.

 

"You'll get wrinkles if you frown like that all night." Irene poked the space between Seulgi's eyebrows. "Stop worrying about me."

 

"I can't help it." 

 

Irene sighed. "I'll be fine, Seulgi-yah." She looked around. "I need something to distract me from thinking about it."

 

"We could watch something?" Seulgi offered.

 

"My eyes are already so tired from crying and watching TV all day." Irene smiled. 

 

"Then you should go to sleep." Seulgi replied.

 

"But I'm not sleepy." Irene complained.

 

"You want me to sing you to sleep?" Seulgi smiled half-heartedly. 

 

"God, no." Irene laughed. "That's so cheesy. Just talk to me about something. Anything, just to stop my mind from overthinking." 

 

"Hmm." Seulgi was quiet for a moment. "I talked to Naeun today."

 

"Oh?" Irene raised her eyebrows. After all the crap that happened that day, Irene forgot about the events of last night completely. Now that she was reminded of what she said to Seulgi, she felt a different kind of anxiety bubbling at the surface. They haven't talked about it all day and Irene was grateful for that, but now that the topic is brought open, she's feeling slightly uncomfortable.

 

"Yeah, that's why I was out early this morning. We talked about us."

 

"So," Irene played with the edge of her pillow. "Are you guys back together?"

 

Seulgi shook her head.

 

"Why not? I thought you liked her." Irene said.

 

"I thought I did too." Seulgi shrugged. "But I guess it's for the best."

 

"Why'd you break up anyway?" Irene said to keep the conversation going. She really didn't want to know, but so far this distraction was working.

 

"Uhmm.." Seulgi scratched her head. "It just didn't work out."

 

"Did you like her?" Irene prompted.

 

"I did." 

 

"She liked you?"

 

Seulgi grinned. "Of course. They always do."

 

"Jerk." Irene lightly pushed her. "So what's the matter then?" 

 

"There's just something missing." Seulgi said simply. "Like when you're dancing to the beat and somehow you feel like there's something off."

 

"So she wasn't a great dancer, that's why you broke up with her?" Irene laughed. 

 

"It's not like that, unnie!" Seulgi laughed too. "It's just hard to explain. Enough about that. I have a question."

 

Then Seulgi looked at Irene seriously. "So last night.. What was that about?"

 

Irene's breath hitched. She should've known they'd eventually get to that topic. 

 

"Oh, uhm.." Irene looked everywhere but Seulgi. "I don't know. I was drunk. I certainly didn't mean to tell you--"

 

"You would've tried to make it work?" Seulgi repeated Irene's words from earlier last night.

 

Irene raised her eyebrow. She would've thought for sure that Seulgi would ask about the 'I think I'm in love with you' part of the night. She couldn't help but chuckle at how unfazed Seulgi was at her blatant confession. 

 

"What," Seulgi's eyes became narrower, if that was even possible. "Why are you suddenly laughing?"

 

"I'm just glad." Irene said. "Relieved, even. Because that's what you chose to focus on and not what I said during our phone call. Because I think I could live with that.  When I said Joohyun would've tried to make it work, I think I'll be able to stand by my words."

 

Seulgi looked at her.

 

 

 

"What phone call?" 

 

 

 

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kreidz #1
Chapter 41: SAKIT
Min_Villacorta #2
Chapter 41: sana sinaksak mo na lang ako.
AliceODonnell #3
Chapter 41: It is the realistic ending I was expecting but I am heartbroken 💔 Could there be a sequel of epilogue that would heal our hearts??? 🥺
kmtyn309
#4
pag nasa mood akong umiyak binabalikan ko lang 'to tapos ayun, naiiyak na ako. skskskss
Alahnis #5
Author-nim, please make your story available offline. Please. Please. Thank you.
Destresce
#6
Chapter 41: Beautiful. Thank you for this. :)
sluggiebearr
#7
Chapter 41: IM CRYING
Kang_bae_rene
#8
Every consiquence we face depends on Every small and big decisions we take in our life, may be they are not strong enough to fight for themselves and that's it that's their decision so their should not be any regrets.
honeyblood17
#9
Chapter 41: That's a beautifully realistic ending. I get how it should end this way for the two of them but wow I kinda feel I need closure 😭😭 this is a masterpiece 🥰
Jenlisinbyaaah #10
Chapter 41: Noooooo 😭😭😭