Taeyang's POV:

I woke up to the sound of the pilot announcing our touchdown in Seoul. I haven't been home for three straight months due to my individual promotions in the US. Right now home feels so new to me, and right now I really don't know how to face everything around me..I don't know how to face her too. From the moment I stepped outside the airport lobby I was swarmed by people asking me about Yuri, our "sudden getaway" in New York, and that photographed kiss while we were dancing at a club. I really don't know what to say to these people and more importantly I really don't know what to say to the girl I left here waiting, hearing all these things.

I got in the van and slouched to the backseat in frustration as Jane nuna was sitting beside me while on the phone with someone from the press. I have never caused trouble before, I have fun but I never caused trouble nor have I ever broke off a promise or somebody's heart.

"Ya, quit being the drama queen and fix yourself. Sajangnim wants to see you." Jane nuna let out a deep frustrated sigh. 

"Nuna, are you mad?" I asked softly as I studied her face as she slowly looks at my direction

"Who wouldn't be, you jerk?!" She slapped my arm and continued "But even if I do, it's my job to clean this up for you..Aigoo chincha, why are you giving a pregnant woman such a hard time?!" She held her bulging stomach and shakes her head again.

"Nuna I'm sorry. I really am. I have no words." I said in monotony and regret

"You better be sorry and you better have words." She said as she was pointing at her ringing phone with Jessie on the line

"HEEEEEY! How are ya?" Nuna let out a fake cheerful voice as she answered the phone

I looked at nuna's reaction as the smile disappeared from her face and stopped talking as if giving Jessie the chance to talk and say a lot of things. I reached out for the phone but nuna shook her head giving me the hint that it was not a good time as she sighs deeply.

"We'll talk, okay? Your place tonight?" She asked and continued "Okay. Take care J. Love you." And ended the call.

"How is she?" I didn't get to control myself and asked nuna

"Crying." She said bluntly as she wears her shades and prepares to get out of the van as we reached the YG building.

Press swarmed the place and I had to be escorted inside the building. So this is how Jiyong felt everytime an issue comes out. I feel like crap and I feel like a jerk, if I could only melt right now out of embarassment, I would have melted eversince this issue came out. The elevator door opened as we reached the topmost floor and saw Sajangnim walking in to his office.

"You go alone, I'll be downstairs." Jane nuna tapped my back as she assisted me inside the door and closed it when I got in. Sajangnim was never cold to me, except for today. He was very grim--disappointment enveloped the place as I stood in front of him bowing my head.

"Anja." He pointed at the chair next to his table as I bowed and sat down.

"Sajangnim, I can---" He raised his hand to stop me.

"Whatever reason you have, you messed up bigtime. I'm too frustrated to hear you out right now Yongbae. I'm here to speak with you about how we will solve this thing." He took off his cap as he looked at my eyes and sighed "I talked to Lee Suman earlier."

I got shocked at the news as I leaned closer to the table and waited for him to continue

"In an hour you and Yuri will become a couple." He said with a flat, nonchalant tone and continued without minding my shocked state "You caused enough trouble to deny it, the only thing to solve this without humiliating Yuri-sshi and whithout making you sound like a lying bastard is to tell people that you guys have been going out for a while now." he paused for a while fiddling with his pen and continued "Give it a few months before we announce that you have 'broken up'".

"But sajangnim...." I paused still trying to process everything I just heard and "Jessie.." was the only thing that came out from my mouth as tears formed from my eyes and I couldnt help but cover my face in frustration and guilt.

"You should have thought about her when you made out with another girl in public." he sighed as he stood up to sit at the chair in front of me "You did this Yongbae-ah, now you have to face the consequences and sacrifice a bit. Nobody likes this, I hate this!" He threw his pen on his table as he continued "I hate seeing a girl pretend to be strong and focused on her job and catch her tearing up at the fire exit when she couldn't handle it anymore." He sighed as he pat my shoulders "Youngbe-ah, man up and deal with this. You're not the only one getting hurt here." 

I cried for a while as I was feeing so sorry about my careless actions, I know I caused a lot of trouble for my members, my company, Jane nuna, and most especially Jessie.

FLASHBACK:

"Happy anniversarry, bubba! I tried calling you a few times but I guess you're too busy to talk. I really miss you :'( 6 months away from you..Hope all is well. I love you.-J"

15 missed calls and one text message, I had no idea why I chose not to answer her calls today. Maybe it was frustration or maybe it was a part of me figuring out if I still feel the same way for her. Whatever it was I needed air to breathe, for the past year Jessie and I have been trying to work things out despite our different schedules and the strict relationship ban in the office. The first year was great until after I had to go overseas and focus on my International solo album. I'd come home twice every month and we never got the chance to go out or even see each other. I somewhat got tired of the chase, I felt helpless and lonely. 

"Oppa! I'm in town!-Yuri"

For the past months, Yuri and I would hang out and talk about a lot of things. She somewhat became my confidant in a foreign country, she kept me company and made me forget about the sadness enveloping me. 

The night went by and Yuri and I had a few rounds of shots, we danced too..I hardly noticed the time nor have I noticed that there were cameras already. I was out of control for the first time in my life. Yuri and I ended up making out while dancing and the next thing we knew our managers were rushing to us trying to keep us away from each other and fix the problem.

I woke up in my appartment feeling so intoxicated and when I went out my manager was packing up my stuff already. I knew right then and there that I was about to face a huge problem.

End of flashback.

"WHAT THE DID YOU JUST DO?!" I raised my head and saw Teddy Hyung charging his way to me. I had no words to explain myself, I was so ashamed and afraid of facing the people I let down. One careless action affected a mass of people, one careless action could ruin the two years I spent with the girl I loved for the very first time.

"Hyung let it go. Yongbae has a reason, we shouldn't add up to the pressure and just listen to him." Jiyong calmed him down as I stood up about to leave the office with my head bowed down.

"Yongbae ah, we're here for you if you need to talk." Jiyong grabed my shoulders and pat me with sincerity.

Jiyong of all people should know what I'm going through. He went through a couple of situations like this before and I hated him for making Dara nuna cry that time. I promised myself that I will never be an by making the girl who loves me cry. Now, I still am in awe that I was able to do something like this. I just nodded and bowed 90 degrees to the people inside the room and left.

I searched all over for Jessie and I couldn't see her. Only a few people from YG know that we are dating, few meaning the only ones who were in the wedding. I had a hard time pretending like nothing's going on as I knew all eyes were on me. I came inside the creative department expecting to see her in the office when Jung approached me saying "She's not here" with a cold tone. I knew from then on that Jung knows about Jessie and me so I asked "Where is she?" and he shrugged his shoulders and walked away.

I wandered along the YG building with still no trace of my girlfriend. I tried calling her phone and she's not answering it, I tried making other people and she's not answering it either. I don't know what to do anymore. I want to see Jessie, this whole hiding is killing me..I'd rather see her get mad and hurt me than getting this cold treatment from her. I finally gathered the courage to go to Jane nuna's office to see if she was there.

"Sit, young man. Explain yourself." She motioned her fingers toward the chair in front of her as she sipped from her coffee cup. I walked slowly and sat down with my head bowed down. She looked at me with concerned eyes, something I didn't expect from her. I met her gaze and said "I don't know where to start, nuna. I'm too ashamed to even sit here." 

"Somebody has to meddle and listen to both sides, Yongbae. You're not in highschool anymore where we take sides and act all immature about relationship problems. Now quit beating behind the bushes and get to the point. What happened in New York?" She said calmly as she offered me a cup of coffee.

I explained everything to nuna, including the part where I felt lonely and hopeless and Yuri was there to compensate the feeling. She listened intently, she would once in a while slap my knees and get teary eyed but she remained calm and attentive.

She sighed and sat beside me.

"Do you know why Jesse left the Philippines?" She asked.

"Yes. And I hate myself for doing the same thing to her. Nuna, will she leave?" I asked with so much fear and frustration towards myself.

She shook her head "I don't know, Yongbae. Right now I really don't know. She's out of reach, she's been out of reach for 3 days now. Jesse never showed her grief to people-even to us. She would disappear and just come back when she feels better. Which was always scary, because we know deep inside she's very hurt and heartbroken." 

She paused and stood up as she looked by the window "She's a runner. And right now I'm scared that she may not show up for a long time. She opened up her heart to you again with the faith that what happened with Xian will never happen with you. She loves you so much and I really don't know what she's feeling right now as much as I want to. Yongbae, I don't know where my sister is and I'm so scared. I have no idea how to explain all this to our parents. I brought her here and I promised to take care of her.. But this is just out of the plan..." She stopped and started sobbing while holding her heart. 

The sight of nuna crying just made the guild build higher inside me. I'm scared of the things she just said, what if Jesse never comes back? Where is she and is she even eating? Has she gotten my messages and calls? Is she with anyone now? I have no idea what is happening with her and this is all my fault. I stood up and cried as well as I hugged Jane nuna and asked for her forgiveness.

"Nuna, I didn't plan this. You should know how much Jesse means to me. I have no idea what has gotten into me to give in so easily like that.. Nuna if I can only turn back time I really would.." I cried and cried "Nuna, I don't know what to do anymore. I want to find Jesse and I want to talk to her, I want to kneel down until she forgives me, I want to tell her how much I regret being away from her, how much i longed for her, how much I cried everytime I come here without seeing her, nuna you know my heart right nuna?" I asked and cried and I felt Jane nuna hugging me tightly.

"I know, Yongbae. I know." She made me stand up from the ground "We'll find her. I'll make sure we do."