'Sajangynm, we missed you.' Jessica met me with a hug when I entered the office.

I rolled my eyes at her, I'm still pissed off with how she ruined my vacation. 'Get away from me.' I pushed her a little so I can go to my table.

'Ah Minyoung, I'm so happy you are back. Did you have a good time with your oehalmoeni?'

'What do you think Sica? You didn't let me have my vacation in peace!' I complained as I open my computer.

'Omo Minyoungie, miyanhe. I did notice the dark circles under your eyes. And your skin..oh my gosh, it's dry!'

I narrowed my eyes at her word. Is she telling me that I'm ugly? And who's fault was that?

I cleared my throat, finding the correct words to ask Jessica about the scandal in a way that I won't look desperate. I could look for it in the internet but I know Jessica will know all the details when it comes to JaeUck. Basing on Jessica's mood, it looks like everything is good.

'So what happened with the uh..the one you told me last time..' I asked while looking at my files. I made a blank face as if I'm not really interested.

'Which one?'

This lady is really making it hard for me.

'The one you called me last time while you were crying and said you're about to die! Sica those kind of stuff should not be taken seriously.' I scolded her, well just for upfront.

'Oh yeah..yeah. JaeUck oppa.' her eyes gleaming. 'His management denied the rumors..' she took out her phone and show the article to me.

I scroll down to read while I drink my coffee. I almost cried when my tongue almost gut burned with the hot coffee, my hand was shaking when I put down the cup. My chest tightened when I saw it was a photo of him and a girl standing close to each other in a parking late. It was indeed in the club but it was not me, it was a different girl. It looks like they were about to leave the place, the girl had a big smile as she look up to JaeUck. I don't know which hurt more now my tongue or my chest with the thought of him seeing another girl after I left the club.

I took a deep breath as I felt my chest tightening and opened the bottle of water in my table to drink. I don't know..I have mixed emotions right now. I felt relieved that it wasn't my face plastered in the article but at the same hurt? I don't know. But then why would I be hurt? That JaeUck was with another girl? He probably had fun with her like how I enjoys his company or did he enjoy her company more? But he said I make him happy? Does she make him happier? Aigoo...I haven't even started working and yet my mind is about to burst.

'..I'm glad it was just a misunderstanding. That labitpatch has to be jailed for spreading rumors!'

I shook my head to clear my mind and returned Sica's phone. What the heck, why would I worry about those stuff right? It's his life. Me making him happy is like Leon making me happy or his pets making him happy. What he said wasn't a big deal right? There's nothing wrong with him being with someone. Honestly, I feel bad for him that it something like this should even be broadcasted, as if he owes people his life.

'Well, I'm glad that everything is cleared.'

'I still feel bad for JaeUck oppa, when he gets involved in a scandal he will hide for a long time and who knows when we'll see him...aaahhh...' she softly hit her head in the table.

I raised my eyebrow at her, what a drama queen.

'What do we do Minyoung?!' she took my hand, softly pressing it with a worried look in her face. ' Shall I check on him? We're already close with him, right? I think it'll be okay if I do that? I need to know if he's alright.'

I pulled my hand. 'He's old enough to take care of himself.'

'Oh my gosh Minyoung! That's why you're still single until now. You don't have a heart! He might be sick or possibly got in an accident because of the scandal! I need to assure him that his fans are still here, we will continue to support him.'

'You're over reacting! Just get to back to work we already wasted our time with that subject!'

'Tss! Heartless!' shouted before closing my door.

I was absently doodling something in my pad when I felt a nudge in my side.

'Sajangnym??' Jessica called, her eyes narrowing at me. 'Do you agree with our suggestion?'

I look around and realized we are in our weekly meeting. I sit up a straight and fix my hair, I cleared my throat to hide my embarassment 'What was the suggestion? I'm sorry I'm thinking about the other meeting I have later.' Well not entirely a lie, I'm meeting with Coop sajangnym next week and I don't have any idea what is the meeting about. If its about styling his artist I would always talk about this with the artist's manager so I don't know why I'm being called in their office.

Days passed and I haven't heard anything from JaeUck, he probably got tired messaging me when I don't reply. Or of course he's with the girl he is rumored with so he's busy. Management could deny the rumors but there's a high possibility that it's true. Entertainment industry will do everything they can to make their actors buyable. I was very curious as to his whereabouts, but I held on to it. I'm not used to him being silent for a long time but I guess what Jessica said was probably true. I have not right to ask him about his whereabouts. Ah, the waiting game is killing me.

I looked around in the coffee shop for Jessica. She was holding her mobile phone and smiling, looking like a fool by herself. Our emotions are so opposite recently, she seems high while I was sort of depressed. We worry on the same thing but it seems like I had it worst. She raised her eyebrow at me, watching me closely as I sit infront of her. I wonder if she have any news about JaeUck, even so I wouldn't dare to ask. I checked the menu in our table and gave my order to the waitress standing beside our table.

'Bwo?' I asked Jessica who had not said anything since I arrived but just have been watching me.

'Are you seeing someone MinYoung?'

I ignored her question.

'Cause you seem to be heartbroken. You haven't been yourself. Did you broke up with him? It's probably a secret relationship right? So you can't tell me. Is he married?'

Seriously? I looked at her, shocked with her question. Do I look like someone who would go for a married man?

'I just want to help you Minyoung. I sincerely want to help you, want to listen to you. But I won't be able to do that if you won't tell me anything. Tell me what's bothering you. I'm not just your business partner Minyoung, I am more of your friend right?'

Instead of being mad, I feel guilty at Jessica. It's true, more than being business partner, we're friends so I should tell her what's going through with me right? But how? I even don't know why I'm feeling this way, I don't know where to start, how to tell her. I took a tissue in the table and dab my eyes, my eyes are warming I think I'm about to cry.

I swallow the lump in my throat. 'I'm sorry Sica.'

'So you are seeing some? Are you dating?' I heard excitement in Jessica's voice.

'Ani!'

'Then what is it?'

Our order came so I was quiet. I'm still thinking about the right words to use with Jessica. She tends to over react so I need to say it in a calm way. I started eating to calm myself.

'Uhm..I..I think I'm starting to ah..I..like someone.' I said stuttering. I'm not going to lie, I'm sulking, I feel bad and I don't know why. I hate that I don't know where he is after the scandal. I hate that I'm not with him to assure him that everything's gonna be alright. I feel so disappointed at him, how could he not messaged me even once for almost two weeks. How? After telling me I make him happy??

'Yah Minyoung, you're not a teenager anymore, liking someone is not new. It's not as if this is your first time.' Jessica seems casual with it but I can hear teasing in her voice. I'm sure she couldn't wait to ask who the guy is.

Tss, I agree with her but my feelings this time is more that what I felt before and I'm really scared that this time it is serious and it is with the person I shouldn't be feeling this way. Why o why? Was it because I was just missing him and it's not that I really like him?

'Do you think it's possible to miss someone you don't like?'

'Of course not. How could you miss someone you don't like? You miss that person because you like her or him. Wouldn't you miss me if I'm gone?'

Aish, it's not that kind! But I guess she's right.

'I meant miss that person so badly that I think I'm going to get crazy..-'

'That you're mind is always away while in a meeting or that everything you do is all wrong??'

Fine, I agree I was those recently, I guess I had it bad. What did I tell myself before? That I should be careful in dealing with him and yet here I am, having this feelings for him. I should have a death wish.

I called manager Lee when I arrived in the building, I had my car park at the basement. I still don't have any idea what this meeting is about.

Manager Lee is the first one I saw when I get out from the elevator. 'MinYoung, it's nice to see you today. You look lovely as always.Not a stylist for nothing ah.'

'Thank you manager Lee.' I smoothed my long hair that I had down for this meeting. I was wearing a long sleeve cotton shirt with lace at the edges, I paired it with a pastel pink skirt flowing just below my knees and a closed high-heel shoes.

We continued walking and I just followed him. 'I have to apologize for bringing you here but sajangnym wants to talk to you about something.' explaining in a low voice. He cleared his throat and unbottoned the first button of the polo he is wearing.

'It's okay manager Lee. I guess it's very important..' I can feel his uneasiness which makes me more curious about the meeting today.

'Very important. So if he ask you something just agree okay? Don't ask a lot of question.'

It feels weird but I nodded in agreement. We stopped in front of a door, he knocked and turned the knob, gently pushing me inside. I looked back at him confused.

'You're not joining the meeting manager Lee?'

'Just you and sajangnym.Gah.' Shooing me with his hand. 'Fighting Minyoung!.' his hand fisted and immediately closed the door, leaving me alone in a huge room.

An opera song was playing insude, I looked around to see where it is coming from but couldn't find the player. The interior is a mixture of white and gray. The leather seats in the middle is dark gray and on the further right is a table with a couple of chairs. The blinds are pulled until the middle of a wide glass wall, revealing the view of skyscrapers outside. A couple of family photos is at the top of each table. Sajangnym seems to be a vey family man. I have not talked with him ever since but saw him from a far for a couple of times in several shows where his artists are performing.

I cleared my throat before calling out, taking smaller steps while I go onside. 'Annyeong haseyo sajangnym.' I quickly turned around when the door where I came from open. I immediately bow when I saw it was sajangnym, greeting him again.

'Park MinYoung - ssi?' he asked with a big smile.

I feel relieved seeing him smiling, he seems happy so it must be good news. I watched his back as he went the leather seat. He doesn't seem to age, he looks just the same, he is probably between 50 - 60 years old.

'Ne, sajangnym.'

'Sit down..sit down. Sorry to keep you waiting. I had to check the studio if they are practicing. Some of the idols now are slacking, I wish they would work hard more.' He loosen up his tie and sat down at the leather seat to which I followed. I placed my bag in the seat beside me and held my hands together, playing with it to calm myself.

'How are you?'

'I'm good sajangnym, thank you.'

'That's good to know.' He took a folder in the table and opened it, looking at me from time to time. 'How long have you been styling?'

I frowned, getting confused more with his questioning. I'm not looking for a job as far as I know but this feels like an interview.

'Almost 10 years sajangnym. Thank you for having my team styled some of your artist..-'

'Oh is that so? Is that how you meet JaeUck?'

'Oppa?' I shook my head and corrected myself 'JaeUck-ssi sajangnym?'

He nodded absently still looking at the folder in front of him.

'Ah ne, I styled him in one of his ad. Well him and other artist of your agency sajangnym.'

'What's your opinion of JaeUck?'

'JaeUck-ssi..' I looked away from sajangnym trying to hide my emotions 'I think he's a really nice person who is always after his happiness. He understand how life can be difficult and is not greedy so he just accept how things are and find ways to make it better.'

I looked down when I noticed sajangnym was watching me closely.

'I'm sorry sajangnym.' I didn't notice my eyes got watery. I quickly took my handkerchief in my bag and dabbed it around my eyes. Why do I have to cry in front of sajangnym? I probably look like desperate. 'It's just I've worked with JaeUck-ssi for a limited time but develop friendship with him. I am touched by what he is and how he sees life. You are lucky to have him in your agency sajangnym.' I tried to smile despite my sad state. Sajangnym probably thought I'm crazy for crying at something trivial.

'I agree with you. A lot of people only see how good looking or talented he is, but he is more than that as you said Minyoung-ssi. I'm glad you see him beyond what is visible.' he took a sip in his coffee. 'Well, JaeUck decided that he won't accept a lot of overseas projects anymore and that he'll focus working in Korea and acting. I guess that brat is getting old. He's starting to get choosy with his project as if he's done a lot!'

I can feel sajangnym's disappointment but can someone tell me again what am I doing here? The meeting lasted for almost an hour but I didn't hear anyword about getting a new contract for our company. He just told me to take care of JaeUck well which of course I will do even if he don't tell because that's expected from my job as a stylist. Manager Lee was waiting for me outside the office and asked what we talked about. I didn't tell him a lot because I was really confused with our discussion. I was excited at first because I thought I was getting a new contract for the company it was nothing and wasn't even mentioned.

I was down to third week of not hearing from JaeUck, is he even still alive? I'm not hearing any news about him from Jessica as well and she seems okay. I am probably worst than Jessica. I had it tonight! I took all my courage and decided to message him. Even when animals are lost their owners try to find them so how can I just ignore him? I opened the messaging app and sent him my very first message.

Me: Until when do you plan on being like this??

I added several angry emojis to make sure he knows I'm really mad.

I turned off my phone and slept with a bad feeling.

I woke up the next day with a heavy heart, I was dragging myself out from the bed. I looked at my wall clock and was surpised that I barely have an hour to prepare. I went out from my unit wearing a black and white longsleeve shift dress paired with my black closed high-heel shoes. I was about to open my car when a man in black suit appeared in front of my car.

'Park Minyoung-ssi?'

'Ne?' I looked around to check if someone else is there and was relieved that there were several people in the basement.

'Mrs Kim wants to talk to you.'

'Mrs Kim?' the last name is familiar, Kim is a common last name. So who is Mrs Kim and what does she need from me?

'Yes, can you come with me for a while? She's in the coffee shop of this building.'

The man looks harmless so I went with him taking the elevator again.

He took me to a corner where a middle-aged lady probably around 60 years old is waiting. She's wearing a thick sun glasses and took it off when I reached their table. She was wearing a pearl necklace over her dark green dress. Her hair is in a bun and her lips of red shade.The way she sits shows she is use to commanding and people following her.

'Thank you Eug-ni-ssi.' she turned to me in her formal expression. 'Please set down Minyoung-ssi and have some coffee with me.'

'Ne, thank you, Mrs Kim. How can I help you?' I took the cup of cofee in front of me to sip.

'I'm Mrs Kim, the mother of Kim JaeUck - '

I almost spill the coffee in my dress, good thing my reflexes was fast. I immediately stood up, ignoring the spill of coffee in my hand. I bowed slighly greeting her nervously 'Annyeong haseyo Mrs Kim.' I don't even know if she heard my voice, I could hardly open my mouth.

'Kre..kre..sit down..sit down.'

I continued sitting with my head down not wanting to look at her. I'm still not over my talk with sajangnym last week and here I am meeting JaeUck's omma. Seriously where is that guy? Why am I meeting all these people without knowing? Will I be splashed with water in my face or get a money offering?

I don't know how should I sit in front of her, I took the cup of coffee again sipping calmly this time. I could feel her eyes watching me closely from how my hair is done, to the set of earings I am wearing, to my dress and down to my shoes. She even looked at my bag I placed in the table. I could almost hear my breath as if I've been running.  How I wish I could really just run away from her.

'You look good.' she started as she continued to watch me closely.

I bowed, I wanted to say 'thank you' but couldn't find my voice.

'I didn't expect my son would fall for someone like you.' she said.

I blinked my eyes at her words, I didn't even know that. I wonder if that was a compliment or not. I slowly looked at the glass of water in front of her careful not make any noise that might offend her.

'I heard you're a stylist and owns a company.'

'Ne.' I nodded and spoke softly.

'And I supposed you've worked with JaeUck and that's how you two met?'

'Ne Mrs Kim.'

'Kre. JaeUck doesn't want to see me until I talk to you and give my approval. I don't really meddle with my sons' affairs, his hyung had married years ago and they had kids now. It went well, her wife is nice and they live a quiet life. I worried that JaeUck won't have that, but seeing that you're different is probably good. Just keep it quiet with him ah?'

I don't know what JaeUck had told her and she probably misinterpreted but I don't want to offend her as well.

'He was in the scandal lately and I heard that the photo released was to cover the photo of you two caught in some club.'

I looked at her in shock but immediately look down again.

'His management paid a lot to get your photo and so you are left in peace.'

I felt my eyes watering. Slowly I understand what JaeUck had been through lately. I feel so bad for him, he deserves more than this. I should really be good to him. I understand his omma for wanting to meet me, she wants me to protect JaeUck as well as how he had been protecting me.

'Miyanhe Mrs Kim.' I looked at her dabbing my eyes with the tissue in the table.

She smiled and tap my arm. 'Kre..kre..stop crying. JaeUck might think I made you cry.'

I still couldn't speak more, she was probably waiting for me to say something but I opted to be silent.

'Tell JaeUck that I already talked to you. He told me you doesn't reply to his sns. JaeUck is a good person if you're still contemplating. Don't stress him worrying about you.'

He's the one making me stress thinking about his whereabouts!

'I won't Mrs K-

'Omeonim..' she corrected that made me swallowed.

'Ne omeonim.'

'JaeUck said he'll probably marry soon, that's fine with me. I want to see him happy with his family. I also want to see his kids before I get too old.'

'Ani, you're not that old omeonim.'

She took her a bag and stood up, I stood up as well as I felt she was about to leave. 'Let's meet sometime soon and shop. Come to our house on Sunday okay? It's my birthday.'

'Ne omeonim.' I was very hesistant to answer that but I don't want to offend her so I agreed.

I was all dizzy when I arrived in the office I still can't believe what happened and that I barely said a word while talking to Mrs Kim. I took out my phone to message him, I was about to rant endlessly when I remembered what his mother told me about the photos and felt guilty about it. I noticed that he saw my last message.

Me: Miyahne oppa. Come home now, I'm not mad anymore, I forgive you for letting sajangnym and your omma to talk to me. Bogoshipuh oppa. I worry about you. 

I don't care anymore if that seems confessing but yes, I'm baring my feelings to him now.