“I wished I don’t have a daughter like her.”

Yerin stands by the doorway, holding her champion flag that she just got from the speech festival earlier. She drops whatever she’s holding onto the floor upon hearing, she cannot misrecognise that voice, it is the woman who gave birth to her. Tears are on the edge of falling, Yerin covers with her palm and rushes out of her apartment.

Walking on the cold streets alone, Yerin just let her legs bring her to wherever they want, it does not really matter to her now. Yerin always knows that her mother has been liking her younger brother, Hwecheol more since he is born, she never stops comparing the siblings to whatever Yerin has done. Even Yerin achieves something, Hwecheol is always better in her mother’s eyes. This is nothing new to Yerin, she gets used to it since young and she genuinely cheers for Hwecheol wholeheartedly too when the boy achieves something, but whenever the lady brings up that topic, it still hurts Yerin. No matter how cold she put up her façade and laughs along with her relatives, the words stab into her heart every single time, and the pain is not fading away in a short period of time. Yerin never tells her friends about her family issues, not even to Eunbi. She does not want to seem desperate in front of her friends, desperate for parental care and family love, she does not want to beg for others’ attention.

Yerin goes to a park nearby, she sat on one of the benches and just let emotions take over control, she is tired to even hide her tears anymore. Since she was small, her dad told her that “Big girls don’t cry, and crying won’t do anything to help solving the situation” that’s why Yerin seldom sheds tear in front of others. The one who witness her fragile side is a monkey Onon, the fluff toy that she got from her aunt on her 6th birthday. Only Onon has been there for her when she needed someone most, only Onon’s soft shoulders were what she could cry on when she needed someone most.

Something keeps vibrating in her uniform pocket, Yerin takes out her phone and reads the messages.

[Bi<3: Have you arrived home yet?]

[Bi<3: Hey Hwecheol called me said you are still not yet home, but we’ve arrived at your station for an hour already, did you get lost again?]

[Bi<3: Rinnie?]

[Bi<3: Are you home now Rinnie ah?]

[Bi<3: Yerin ah where are you…? Please pick up my calls… or just send me a message to let me know you’re safe…]

[Bi<3: Yerin don’t scare me… reply me please]

6 texts and 38 miss calls, Eunbi has been contacting her since the moment she ran out of her apartment. Just when Yerin was going to switch off her phone, her phone rings again. This time, it is from her brother. Yerin stares at the screen for some seconds, at least she swipes the green button to the right and picks up the phone.

“NOONA WHERE ARE YOU!” Yerin could hear Hwecheol shouts even she puts her phone away from her ears.

“I’m... I am in the park near our house.”

“Why aren’t you coming home? Did something happen?”

“I… Eunbi walked me home just now and I just wanted to spend more time with her, so yeah, we hanged out in the park.” Yerin lies, she does not want to tell his brother the reason why she is staying outside.

“Noona, Eunbi noona called me exactly 17 times and asked me if you are home already.” Hwecheol says softly, “you can always talk to me if you are bothered by anything you know?”

“Yeah, thanks Jonnie.” Yerin mumbles. “Don’t worry, I am coming home, now.”

“Do you want me to pick you up from the park?”

“No, please don’t, I am alright on my own.” Yerin rejects the offer immediately, she is not ready to face her family members in this state. “And please Jonnie, help me to tell Eunbi I’m alright, I will text her tomorrow.”

“Why don’t you call her yourself? Eunbi noona is really worried about you.” Hwecheol says.

“I don’t want to explain anything to anyone, and I want some alone time.” Yerin pleads. “Please Hwecheol.”

When Yerin addresses her brother in his own name “Hwecheol”, it only means either she is very serious, or she is mad about him. Hwecheol knows it is the time for him to cope with his sister’s words else he would be in big trouble.

“Alright I will tell her now. Please come home as soon as possible noona, dad and mom are worried about you.”

“Tell them my phone’s battery went out. Talk to you later Jonnie, thanks.” Yerin puts down her phone and stares into the clear sky.

Eunbi freaked out when Hwecheol first called her and asked if Yerin was with her. She had just sent Yerin back to her station and waved goodbye to her girlfriend at the metro station’s entrance gates. There is only a 3 minutes’ walk between Yerin’s house and the station, she never knew something could have happened in a such short distance. What makes the whole situation worse is Yerin is neither picking up her calls nor replying to her texts, Eunbi prays to god that nothing bad happens, she regrets not walking Yerin home, not accompanying the girl till her doorsteps.

Staring at her phone, there is still no messages or calls from Yerin. It has been hours since they parted ways. Eunbi sits on the edge of her bed, thinking if she should go out and search for the girl like last time she did when Yerin got lost. Just then her phone rings, Eunbi grabs her phone immediately and picks up the call.

“Yerin?”

“Eunbi noona? I’m Hwecheol. I’ve found noona already.”

“Where is she? Is she alright? Did she hurt herself or something?” Eunbi cannot help but to pour all of her worries out.

“I don’t really know… I’ve just heard from her and she said she would be heading home soon. She sent me to tell you that she wants some alone time, and she will text you tomorrow.” Hwecheol fulfils his job as a messenger.

“She does not want to talk to me?” Eunbi feels a bit hurt upon hearing.

“Noona says she does not want to explain now, and I think she has probably switched off her phone already.” Hwecheol hesitates. “I know it’s useless to tell you not to worry, but please try not to Eunbi noona. I will text you once she steps back into the apartment.”

“Thanks Hwecheol, please keep me update.”

Eunbi sighs to herself, if Yerin wants some space for herself, she is giving her space, that’s what she could do at least.

The next day, Yerin wakes up with puffy eyes. She walks to the washroom and looks at herself, messy hair, obvious dark circles, how is she going to hide them from Eunbi? Yerin sighs and pulls out her morning routine, then she quietly leaves her house before waking up any of her family members. She is not going to school with her dad nor her brother today, she still does not know how to face them after the incident she happened to eavesdrop, she would rather wake up an hour earlier and go to school on her own.

In the train ride, Yerin sits by the window seats and looks out of the glass. She remembers the days she fought off the urge to cry, the days that she swore she would leave her house once she could, the days that she could not feel being loved. She starts to pounder, since when does she no longer feel being left out? Then a certain girl’s face emerges into her mind, Yerin smiles upon thinking of her girlfriend. Yes, the pain has faded away since she met Eunbi. Eunbi’s love for her replaced the long missing family love in her heart, she has felt complete since Eunbi was there for her. Everything changes after Eunbi has paved her way into Yerin’s life. The reminds of Yerin, she has not texted her girlfriend since yesterday evening. Yerin immediately takes out her phone from her backpack and switches on the device. To her dismay, the screen does not light up after a few tries, Yerin smacks herself mentally for not charging her phone the night before after all. Giving up the idea of contacting her girlfriend, Yerin stuffs the device back into her pocket and once again she looks out of the window. Judging by the surroundings, Yerin knows the train is approaching its final stop soon, probably three more stops? Then it will arrive where Yerin should get off.

Three stops until destination, Yerin took out her wallet and stares at the photo that Eunbi put in for her, it was taken on her 18th birthday, when her friends threw a party for her. Eunbi was holding the green tea cake and Yerin took a selfie for them to capture that moment. The moment when her girl was devoting all of her efforts just for Yerin, just for her. It has been years since she last felt someone treating her so well, as if she is the most precious thing on earth that needed to be protected. Eunbi is so caring and protective, always there protecting her. Eunbi is like the navigator, guiding Yerin back to the right track when she gets lost. Eunbi is like power bars, supporting Yerin when she’s drained out. Eunbi is like painkillers, taking away the pain every time when Yerin is suffering. Eunbi is like source of light, shining away the darkness every time when Yerin is shivering. To her, Eunbi is a substance that can replace all of the negative elements in her life, Eunbi is her shield, her sunshine.

Two more stops until destination, Yerin puts back her wallet into her bag and leans her head onto the window, she then closes her eyes to enjoy the little peace inside her, not doing anything but simply thinking of her girl. Yerin’s lips curls up without herself knowing. Suddenly, she feels a pair of arms hugging her shoulders. Yerin stiffens at instant, but then she smells the familiar scent, the scent that is a mixture of mint and flowers, the scent that always calms her down. She opens her eyes and meets another pair of orbs, those brown orbs are staring straight into hers, Yerin could see her own reflection in those bright orbs, at the same time, Yerin could see worry and nervous inside.

“Why are you here?” Yerin asks softly and pats the seat next to her.

“I don’t know… I just feel like taking train to school rather than riding my bike today, and I just feel like going into this tube… and you are here.” Eunbi says gently. “How you feeling?”

“But this isn’t the usual cart that I will ride you know?” Yerin avoids the question and cracks into a small smile. She usually takes the last cart during train rides or when Eunbi sends her home, but today she was too tired to walk to the end of the train, she just got inside a random cart that was nearest to the escalator.

“Yeah, I don’t know I will meet you here as well. Just the train arrived, and the doors opened, and I met the one I’ve been thinking of the entire night.” Eunbi fights off the urge of letting her tears fall, she has been holding them for the whole night, struggling to call her girl or just wait as Hwecheol told her to. “I guess it’s really fate doing his work for us then.”

“How could you meet me when there’s a train passing by every 2 minutes and with 12 carts?” Yerin slowly lays her head onto Eunbi’s shoulders, still thinking how could the girl find her.

“The telepathy between us.” Eunbi holds the girl’s hand which is resting in her lap. “I have my ways anyways.”

Yerin doesn’t speak afterwards, she intertwines their hands and let silence takes over, comforting silence. When the train has almost arrived their destination, she lifts her head up from Eunbi’s shoulders. “Thanks Bi.”

Eunbi turns her head and looks at the girl, slightly raising her eyebrows.

“Glad that you found me, thanks for being here.” Yerin shows her eye smile for the first time of the day. “I feel a lot better when you’re here.”

“That’s why you should have just called me yesterday and let me accompany you rather than roaming on the streets alone with me worried sick.” Eunbi groans, but then she quickly gives a peck into the girl’s lips. “Anytime, anywhere, Rinnie ah. Let me be there for you.”

“I don’t want to bother you with my negative emotions.” Yerin says softly and stand up, walking towards the doors. But Eunbi pulls her backwards and wraps her arms onto her waist. “That’s called girlfriend responsibilities pabo. You are bothering me when you aren’t letting me know how you feel.”

“What if I decide to lock myself up again and you can’t find me like this time?” Yerin holds into the arms.

Hugging her girl from the back, Eunbi tightens her grip. “Hey, I’ve managed to get through an ocean of people and came into your life, I will always find my ways to come for you, don’t worry.”

Yerin smiles, feeling the invisible burden in her chest being lifted up. Lifted up by the girl behind her, lifted up simply by the girl’s presence. She knows she has found her new home, she will no longer being compare with others, because there’s always Eunbi who will choose her and treats her princess like. There’s always Eunbi.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Time for the moon night just paved its way into my heart/brain/whatever, I’m a total lost to it, it even defeated Fingertip’s throne. I’m really liking this song so much and I’m tell you that I changed my ringtone to this song, then since then I’ve been not picking up calls because I wanted to listen to the song longer lol.

Anyway, I'm still working on the theory behind the M/V, no matter who dies/no one dies/they are all ghosts... they are still a big family for one another. Feel free to share your theory below and we can discuss haha :P TFTMN RISE :)