I've sat outside his door for some time now. I want to just go in and lie next to him and fall asleep. But I can't. I don't want to wake him up and bother him. He needs sleep.

He works so diligently. He's a mother on the outside but inside he's like a fire. 

He never stops working to improve himself. Whether it's dancing or singing. He always works hard and I admire him for it.

Maybe I do love him. Even just a little bit.

He means the entire world to him and I have begun to sketch him more and more. He's so easy to get pictures from. Between his beautiful face and the way that he loves everyone he doesn't even realize that he does it. 

As I sketch him I pay special attention to his eyes. The way they sparkle when he laughs, or how soft they are when he does Aegyo. Or how caring they look when he looks at another member with love. 

I pay special attention to them because they are the way that Jin communicates without words.

Look in his eyes and his emotions are clear. 

The worst is when he's crying. The small glint that his eyes get when he's choked up. You look in his eyes and see that glint and you fear the worst.

I try to never let him cry. I try not to hurt him. But sometimes I do hurt him. And I can't help it. It's just how I am.

When I see that glint my immediate reaction is to put my arm around him and tell him that I'm sorry. Even if it isn't my fault.

To me Jin is my entire life