He smiles at me and it drives me crazy. It's not like a crazy in love though. We're too close for that. But when he looked at me with that smile in that picture my entire world spins faster and faster. 

Is there a solution to this or am I just going insane?

We're brothers, the 7 of us. So for any of us to be without one another drives us insane. So maybe this is just the worst of my fears getting to me.

Or is it much worse than that?

Could I actually love him? 

Is that why I always am looking for him?

I look for the others as well. But only Jin's voice teases me into a nightmare. Why is he the one that always wakes me up from the horror? Is he trying to save me? Or is he trying to drown me?

I hand the book to my therapist once I'm in his office. He reads through it and then looks at me.

"May I see the photo?" He asks.

I shake my head "it's personal to Jin. I don't want anyone to see it but me. For his sake."

He nods understanding.

"Namjoon, your condition is worse than it was when we first met months ago. It seems that the dreams have only become more and more persistent. Do you know why?"

"It's like I've said over and over, I can't lose them."

"Tell me more about these boys. Maybe we can figure it out if I know the emotional connection between you and them." 

I begin to explain my relationships with all of the boys. How they are brothers to me. What they do to m