“Fany-ah. I just don’t understand. Are you hiding something from me?”

Taeyeon’s question has totally taken me aback. It’s all of a sudden that the only reply that I managed to say was a faltering, “Wh-what?”

“Are you hiding something from me, Miyoung-ah?” She gently said as she repeated her question, her eyes filled with unspoken questions waiting for answers.

“Taeyeon-ah. Listen to me.” I said, as I try to buy time for myself and come up with an idea that her mind will acknowledge. I just need to give her something to believe in. I can’t tell her the truth, not yet when I’m not ready to let her go. Will I ever be ready to let you go?

She pursed her lips and briefly said, “I am.”

And then an idea came into my mind. “Yes, we’re always having cold war. We always have this hot and cold, push and pull relationship. Sometimes we acted like lovers, sometimes we acted like platonic best friends…”

I mentally sighed in relief when Taeyeon cut me off and said, “Okay. I understand now. But why do we always argue, by the way?”

“Stress at work. Lack of time.” I immediately reasoned out. I can’t believe that she’s buying my lie. I’m really sorry, Taeyeon-ah.

“Then I promise to make more time for us.” She told me with those captivating eyes of hers, making the storm inside me slightly calm. I hope you’ll forgive me, Taeyeon-ah. I hope you’ll be able to give me this kind of look when you learned the truth.

Taeyeon pulled me into a hug and I closed my eyes as I cherished the warmth that she’s giving me. We stayed like that for a few minutes. It feels so good to be in Taeyeon’s arms. It feels so good that it makes me feel worse.

Since we just had a conversation about her dream, and my mind won’t be at ease anytime because it started bothering me, I asked her. “Do you often dream about things?”

“Yes.”

I pulled out from our hug and frowned. This is bad. I know that I am not in the rightful place to feel upset, but I am. She’s already started keeping things to herself, how come when she regained all of those lost memories she had? “Then why are you not telling me?”

She placed her hands on both sides of my face and gives me a loving smile. “I don’t want to burden you. And I’m not sure if those dreams are really just dreams or part of my memories.”

“You’re not a burden, Taeyeon.” You’ll never be. I’m the one who’s giving you the burden.

“I know. But I want to recollect all my lost memories by myself. I don’t want to depend everything to you that much.”  But the thing is, I want Taeyeon to depend on me. I want her to know that I’m not going anywhere, that I will always be with her.

I know it is very selfish of me to do this. I shouldn’t have lied to her in the first place. I am very much aware that I am complicating things between us. But I don’t want us to go back to that ugly chapter of our lives. I want to prove Dean, Jessica, and our friends that this deception is worth it. That Taeyeon and I’s love for each other can overshadow everything – her worries, her doubts, and her hatred towards me.

-

Week has already passed since we arrived from our short trip in Bali. It has already been a week and yet that conversation Taeyeon and I had in Bali still lingers on my mind. I busied myself with office works, occupied myself with meetings and presentations just to steer clear from my guilt trip and pessimistic thoughts.

I am currently reviewing information, data, and other figures that will be presented for the next board meeting when my phone started making a noise. I temporarily stopped from what I am doing and checked my phone to see the name of the caller – Taetae.

Her name brought smile to my face as I remembered that time days ago when she changed her name in my contact list after finding out that her contact name’s only plain ‘Taeyeon’.

Before the call ends, I swiped the screen and placed the phone on my ear and gives her a cheerful greeting. “Hello there.”

“Hi, baby. Are you free?” She endearingly asked, and I can totally picture out the smirk on her face while calling me her baby.

I stared at my screen before making my reply. “Kind of. I’m done with my meeting. Why?”

“I’m bored. Want to go out?”

I raised my eyebrow, not totally believing that she’s bored right now when she has a lot to do. And as far as I know, she never gets bored while reviewing and doing financial reports. “I heard from Irene and some people from IFC that you insisted to go back on work.”

She hummed and said, “I actually just finished sending some e-mails to some of the clients regarding with their investments and financial performance.”

“Then how come that you’re bored?”

“I miss you.” The way she just said it made my heart beat faster than intended. Only Kim Taeyeon has that effect on me.

I smile plastered on my face, the dread that I was feeling temporarily gone. Right, think about it later, Stephi. “I miss you too. And work?”

“Done for today.” She confidently said.

“Okay. I’ll just finalize some things here. Just call me where we’ll meet.” I told her as I placed half of my attention to the screen in front of me.

“Nah. I’ll pick you up. I’m on my way to your office.” She said and abruptly ended the call.

Right after I put down the phone that I was holding, I heard someone knocking on the door. I wasn’t expecting any visitors at this moment and as far as I can remember, Irene just came here to inform me about the board meeting next week. Did she forget something?

Then the door to my office opened, revealing a grinning Taeyeon. “Hi.”

Taeyeon stepped inside my office and closed the door. She walked towards my direction and placed a kiss on my cheek the moment she reached me. Still in daze, I told her, “That was fast. I thought that you’re still on your way.”

She comfortably takes her seat across me and nodded. “Yes, I was walking in the lobby just a while ago.”

“I hope you weren’t speed driving when I picked up the call.” I worriedly told her. The last thing that I would want to happen is for Taeyeon to be involved in a car accident again just because of me. No, I wouldn’t ever want that to happen.

“Don’t worry. I wasn’t.” She assured me, and she puts down the screen of my laptop, smiling at me. “Let’s go?”

Okay. Work can wait, Tiffany. I looked at her and asked, “Where?”

“Let’s watch a movie. I’ll let you decide what to watch.” She said, e