As soon as we stepped out from Taeyeon’s hospital room, Jessica made sure to close the door properly and gives me a demanding stare. Words aren’t needed at all as her gaze already conveyed that she highly disapproves of what I have done. But I can also tell that she’s waiting for me to speak up and explain myself.

But even before I can speak, Taeyeon’s doctor approached us. She must have felt the growing tension between Jessica as she asked, “Miss Hwang, Miss Jung. Is everything alright?”

I put myself at ease and shifted my gaze towards the doctor. I meekly nodded and informed, “Taeyeon’s already awake.”

Doctor Song furrowed her eyebrows as she looked at our faces. She jerked her head to the side and confusingly asked, “Then you should be happy, right?”

Jessica lets out a sigh and shakes her head. She looked at the doctor and said, “Taeyeon doesn’t remember anything that occurred from the past ten years. The last memory that she has is this one particular day when we were in high school.”

Doctor Song casually nodded as if she has already expected that it would happen to Taeyeon. She looked at the both of us and began explaining. “Miss Kim hit her head first during the accident so I won’t be surprised about that. She’s is suffering from DA. Dissociative Amnesia. It’s that kind of amnesia that let the person forget horrible experiences that that person had encountered. She only remembers what her mind wants to remember. Perhaps, is there something from the past that Miss Kim wanted to avoid to happen?”

Jessica looked at me, then to the doctor. “Yes.”

“I see.”

Then there’s a short pause in our conversation. I take it that Doctor Song already get the gist of it, and before she could pry into it, I sighed inwardly and asked. “What should we do now, doctor?”

“I suggest that you should first fill in Miss Kim about the basics about herself – her lifestyle and career. Then it’s up to you if you tell her everything she needs to know, even that thing that she wanted to avoid which triggered her amnesia.” Doctor Song profoundly advised the both of us.

Jessica and I exchanged another furtive glance. I shifted my attention back to Doctor Song and politely responded. “Okay, doc. We’ll just give you an update if something happens to Taeyeon.”

“Then, I’ll be going.” Doctor Song excused herself, leaving Jessica and I alone.

The moment when there’s only the two of us in the hospital’s corridors, Jessica lets out another sigh and speak. “So, what did you tell Taeyeon?”

I pursed my lips and turned around to face her. “Everything that she needed to know.”

Jessica scoffed and mockingly replied, “Everything that she needed to know, but skipping the part where you left her?”

I totally understand why she’s acting like this. As Taeyeon’s other best friend, Jessica’s just being overprotective with her. There’s no valid explanation to justify what I am doing, but I still said, “I know that it’s a selfish thing to do. But can’t you see, Jessi? She remembers the old us. Maybe this is my chance to fix that teenage stupid mistake I did in the past.”

Jessica softened her expression and nodded. I thought that she finally be able to understand where I’m coming from but she said, “What if you just tell her the truth? In her current state, Taeyeon will still understand why you left her. Just tell her the truth, Tiff.”

“And what? We’ll go back to the awkward, pretentious Taeyeon and Tiffany? I can’t lose her again, Jessica! And if lying will be the only way to keep her with me, I will do it.” I didn’t mean to yell at her, but the thought of losing Taeyeon scares the hell out of me.

“Have you thought about the aftermath of this? What will you do when Taeyeon remembers everything? You know how important honesty is for her.” She reprimanded.

I don’t want to make a commotion so I calmed myself first before making my reply. I already knew the aftermath the moment I engaged myself into this lie. I know that Taeyeon might hate me for this, but there’s still a possibility that she’ll forgive me later on.

I have already made my decision about this. But if Jessica has a better idea to solve this problem, I’ll consider it. “What do you want me to do then?”

Jessica looked at me with pity in her eyes. “Like I told you before, just let her go. You’re not just hurting yourself, Tiff. Let’s don’t forget that there’s also someone waiting for her. Dean.”

I shook my head and adamantly replied, “No. I can’t do that.”

“Fine. Then let’s leave it all with Taeyeon. Just hope that she won’t come and ask me about you.” She finally said in defeat.

She turned her back on me and was about to open the door when I called her name. “Jessica.”

She grabs hold of the handle, and I take it that she’s waiting for me to speak up so I said, “Why are you being like this to me and Taeyeon? Don’t you want your friend to be happy?”

Jessica looked at me sideways, her reprimanding gaze already gone. There was sincerity in her eyes as she answered my question. “Of course, I want Taeyeon to be happy. I want you to be happy with her too, but not like this.”

She pulled down the handle and casually opened the door, starting to walk her way back to our friends and Taeyeon. I immediately followed her inside before Taeyeon could insinuate something. As I enter inside, Jessica’s already sitting beside Yuri. There’s space right beside Sooyoung so I stand next to her.

Taeyeon shifted her glance between me and Jessica, assessing the looks on our faces. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Everything’s fine. Right, Tiff?” Jessica answered. The look from her face appeared compelling enough to believe.

“Yes. I just filled in Jessica about the details I’ve told you.” I casually replied, giving Taeyeon a reassuring smile.

“Ah. Okay.” Taeyeon said, somehow convinced.

The other girls must have felt the rising tension between me and Jessica so Sooyoung speaks up. “So, up to what extent do you remember things exactly, Taengoo?”

“I actually do remember some random things right now since Tiffany helped me with some things.” She proudly told Yuri.

I suddenly feel anxiety growing over me. It’s good to know that Taeyeon does remember something about her present life aside from the half-truth and half-lies that I fed her, but it got me concerned on up to what extent does she remembers.

I can see from my friends’ faces that they also feel uncomfortable about it. I reminded myself to apologize to them later for tolerating my decision.

Jessica raised her eyebrow. “You do?”

She nodded and replied, “Yes. But the most vivid memory that I have right now is that particular Sunday when I met Jessica at the mall by chance and started discussing her about my forthcoming confession to Tiffany. To you.”

I mentally sighed in relief.

Then Taeyeon began staring at me with those loving eyes and continued, “Who would have thought that things actually went good just like I was hoping? All those years, I thought that it was a one sided love. Thankfully, my best friend has the same feelings with me.”

I only gave Taeyeon a subtle smile, because deep inside, guilt has already started to crawl under my skin. I am deceiving Taeyeon. I am letting her believe in something that didn’t really happen. Things won’t be difficult for us if it wasn’t for my stupid childishness. I’m sorry, Tae.

I didn’t let my guilt overwhelm me. I started convincing myself that I’m doing the right thing even I know that it is wrong. I am lying to the person that I love, but if it’s the only way to be with her then