Taehyung tried to be optimist and not fall apart but it was hard now that he was alone in his apartment with the voices in his head. After a shower and treatment for most of his visible injuries, he sat on his bed and stayed there, motionless. With his curtain closed and his brain playing without fail his conversation with his father, Taehyung felt more lifeless and hurt by the minute. He was even less fine when he thought back at the look on his mother had before he walked out the door. Damn, why did it have to hurt this much? , now he wanted to see Jungkook. Grabbing his phone on his night stand and unconsciously composing what he thought to be Jimin’s number, he was startle at the voice that didn’t sound like his hyung’s voice at all. Frowning at the voice then, he checked the caller’s name to make sure he didn’t composed a wrong number but had instead his heart literally leaped to his throat at the name he read on the caller ID. He was about to hang up at the very instant but realizing that that would be just stupid and he have had enough of stupid to last a lifetime, he casually said, or at least tried

“Hey Jungkook ah.”

“Oh hey hyung… Did… Do you need something?” With his mind going blank for some reason, Taehyung remained a little too long silent something Jungkook didn’t fail to point out. Smirking a bit at the smug remark, he said honestly

“I’m sorry. I guess I just sort of wanted to talk.”

“You did? With me?”

“Yeah with you. Why? Can’t i?”

“No, no, of course you can. What is it you want to talk about?” Jungkook quickly said, entertaining in some way Taehyung with his, rare but existing, awkward moment. And this was one of so many Taehyung remembers. Pushing aside those thoughts however, Taehyung focused his attention on Jungkook and for some odd reason, he lost his smile then. Perhaps it was the fact that he was being too much of a burden here. Jungkook was home with his family after all, so why was he disturbing him for? It was his issue to deal with. Jungkook shouldn’t have to be bothered with his .

“Hyung?” Jungkook pulled him out of his thought once again. In a tone he hoped convincing, Taehyung said then

“Nothing much. I just wanted to check if you were ok.”

“Oh. Well, I am. Thank you for worrying.”

“Good. I guess I’ll see you at your return then.”

“Yeah, see you then.” As he hung up, Taehyung looked aimlessly at his hands and finally, feeling too suffocated in between these four walls, he grabbed a jacket, pulled on a mask and walked down the street, essentially to blow some fuse. His weekend was announcing to be long.

Jungkook was baffled to say the least. Throughout the boring reception his parents were having he was already feeling like killing himself but then Taehyung hyung called. At first he had thought, it was to ask him to return because of an emergency, but then hearing him talk and sounding weirdly upset to his ears at least- got Jungkook more eager to leave this place. Even if it was his home. Seokjin hyung had returned to Seoul hours ago, and upon him leaving Jungkook had had more than he needed to think about. And then having Taehyung hyung suddenly calling him out of nowhere only made him restless. He didn’t let it show though and performed perfectly his role of good son. Eventually, he got tired, mostly because his mother wouldn’t stop bugging him into talking with a few of the ladies eyeing him at the party and left to the reception room for the garden. Just how on earth did this entire farce not bother him before?

As he followed the alley to where a cherry tree was standing in all its beauty, Jungkook took in a deep breath hoping to get have some peace for a moment. Even if it was only for a second.

His second asked ran out quickly though at the sound of a familiar voice. A voice Jungkook didn’t particularly want to recall whatsoever.

“It’s been a long time Jungkook ssi.” The voice said and Jungkook had to inwardly stop himself to cringe. The voice belonging to a girl of his past. The reason why he didn’t particularly like the girl was because of their history. She wasn’t exactly bad mind you that, just a little too obsessive. The last time they’ve talk, the girl was literally begging him to impregnate her. Of course, Jungkook refused but she wouldn’t stop bugging him until she finally left to live abroad with her parents. Hopefully, she was fine now. Shoving his hands in his pocket, Jungkook answered blankly

“Yeah it has been. How you’ve been Ji Eun ssi?” The girl smiled sweetly in response and answered

“Good. Uhm, I know that you probably don’t want to hear this now but, I’d like to apologize for what happened between us in the past. I hope you can forgive me Jungkook ssi. It was very dumb of me to do what I’ve done.” Jungkook wasn’t sure if her words were sincere, but honestly, he didn’t really care about it. As long as he could quickly finish this conversation then he’ll go with it.

“It’s forgotten.” He only said and he was about to leave then but the girl stopped him on his track when she asked

“Hey, are you ok?” Frowning at the question, he raised his eyebrow questionably and so Ji Eun ssi explained

“You look very pale. By the way, I heard you’re now an intern at Seoul Hospital. Congratulation.” Jungkook only smiled in response and mumbling a thank you, he turned away and finally left. He wasn’t in the mood for small talk anyway. There was a reason he left the reception in the first place.

The sun had already set when his parents finally bid goodbye to their guest. Jungkook of course was standing by their side as the good son he was. Why did that fact sound so ironic to his ears? He breathed a chuckle, pulled up his sleeve and finally headed to his room when he was no longer needed. He didn’t go far whatsoever. With a hand around his wrist, he stopped on his track, turned and was met his mother’s stern eyes. Jungkook didn’t know why didn’t she look happy at all? He behaved well as usual. So what could she complain about?

“What’s wrong with you?” She finally said taking him aback. With his lips slightly parted, he tried to formulate a coherent sentence but he closed it in the end. What was he supposed to say anyway? Lie? He could but he did enough of that already. Jungkook decides to simply avoid the subject. Thus, he sighed exasperatedly

“Don’t want to talk about it. I’ll be in my room if you need anything.”

His mother was about to protest but before she could, Jungkook only turns away and walks into his room for some peace and quiet. And hopefully, find a solution to his predicament.

It has been days since his altercation with his father and needless to say, none of the men had spoken to each other. Taehyung had tried to approach him just the day after their fight or mostly the one sided fight but he chickened out at the last minute. It wasn’t like he could just walk up to his father, who he had not had a real relationship with since, well forever and just try to work this out with him. Taehyung kept his distance then. He called his grandfather as often as he could though. And essentially because he was even more worried for the man now that he couldn’t freely visit him.

Staring blankly at his phone screen, he wondered for just how long he’ll resist calling Jungkook this time. Ever since the other day, he had been extremely careful when composing a number but the urge to do it anyway and call Jungkook would make him waver now and then. He overpowered it luckily, and tamed his unneeded urge by busying his mind with other things. Either with work or just anything in particular that can keep his mind for wandering to two topics, he so clearly didn’t want to think about. At least not yet. His parents and Jungkook. He knew Jungkook was already back at work from what Jimin told him but he hadn’t been around much to know for sure. With the still evident bruise on his cheek bone and the cuts he couldn’t exactly cover up, Taehyung wasn’t that eager to return. After all, it only took his friends reaction for him to know that going to work with a face like his, would scare his patients instead of easing their pain. Which is what his job consisted in. Nonetheless, the fact that his buddies took the news of him being gay well made the world to him. Well, what was he expecting from his crazy friends anyway? If he had told them he wanted to have his change they’ll probably go along with it. Ok, maybe he was exaggerating but it feels good to know that there were people who had your back. The feeling of being loved never reassured him more than it did now.

Taehyung was lazing around on his couch when he heard a knock on his door. Assuming that it was probably Namjoon hyung since he had said he’ll be dropping by later, he walked up to the door saying

“Ah hyung, hang on a second. But why don’t you just use your spare keys anyway? Is…” He interrupted himself however the minute his eyes landed on not Namjoon hyung or any man in general but…

“Mom?”

“Jungkook, you’re still here? Just go home already. You’ve taken up two shifts in a row already. You need some rest.” Mrs Hong Nan advised the minute she stumbled into him in the lounge room. Jungkook would’ve gladly done it already, going home that is, but the fact that Taehyung hyung hasn’t been to work for two days straight kept him from leaving. Call him stupid but he wanted to be around when the man returns. Perhaps to make sure he was fine. He had tried to get Jimin hyung to tell him if Taehyung hyung was ok, even tried calling him but he hadn’t got much information from either. Therefore, he stuck around as much as he could around the hospital.

“Yeah, I will later. I’ll finish with this file first and I’ll go.”

Mrs Hong Nan gave him a disapproving but only sighs in response before going back to her previous task. Jungkook knew she was only looking out for him but if he didn’t do this, he’ll really go insane. Taehyung hyung. He had to see him first before he leaves this bloody hospital. Jungkook failed to know what he was actually going to say to the man upon his return but he’ll worry about that later. Jungkook had just finished reviewing the papers and was heading to the doctor’s lounge to get something to drink when he runs into Yoongi hyung and Jimin hyung heading to the opposite direction to the cafeteria. The pair must’ve not seen him because they didn’t even spare him a glance as Yoongi asked blankly though his expression held evident concern

“Is he really going to be ok then?”

“Well, I’m not sure. Tae has always been very selfless. He’s the type to keep things that bother him to himself. It’s actually one of the things about him that I hate the most. It’s like he doesn’t trust us enough to share his hardship with.”

Hardship? The word echoed loudly in Jungkook’s mind, a frown set on his fine feature. It seems like they are talking about Tae? But what did they mean about hardship? Is it his grandfather this time? Jungkook couldn’t help but consider the worse as he remains unmoved and maintains a laser focus on the duo. Yoongi nonchalantly offered the can of coffee he had just gotten from the vending machine they were standing close to, to Jimin and with the still blank tone, he reasons

“I’m sure he doesn’t do it because he doesn’t trust you. He might be just uncomfortable with bothering you with it.”

“I know. Tae has never once liked to depend on anyone besides himself. But that’s the thing. I wish he’ll let us help him sometime. God, hyung, you haven’t seen him like I did. He’s hurt. Not just physically. But the fight with his father went beyond simple punches. He really took more damage on the emotional aspect than on the physical aspect. Even though, he insists to say that he’s ok, I know he’s not. He really feels like he let his family down and I’m sure he’s beating him up for it.”

“Tae is going to be fine I’m sure.” Yoongi tries to reassure but the unconvinced look Jimin was sporting was enough to get Jungkook to finally head out of the hospital. Walking past Ahn, Jungkook barely exchange more than a word with her and made his way to his car. He really needed to get on perfecting the speech he’ll say to Taehyung when he’ll see him especially now since he was going to meet him but once again, his brain refused to do that simple order. Instead it focused on the hidden meaning behind the strange conversation he overheard.

“So Mom, what are you doing here?” Taehyung repeats once again, after offering a drink to her mother and getting her to seat in his living room. His mother kept her eyes fixed on the green tea Taehyung had specially prepared for her and with a slow smile, she answers quietly

“You really take after your grandmother. Even as her daughter, I never managed to have the same flavor of tea like she used to do. But you, it taste just the same like what your grandmother used to do.” Taehyung had a nostalgic smile at the reminder

“I will never be able to top grandma’s famous green tea but I do try to make something a bit similar.”

“Your grandmother would’ve been so proud.” Somehow Taehyung couldn’t quite fathom that option at that very moment. Especially not with everything that has happen in the past few days. Taehyung was really on the edge of depression and the only thing preventing him to fully fall in it, was the support his grandfather and friends gave him. But the subject weighted on him more than he had initially expected and that alone made him feel like the biggest loser on earth. For he had been so sure he could handle it all but now, he wasn’t so sure. His mother must’ve noticed the miserable expression he himself didn’t know was doing for she suddenly sets the tea cup aside, took his hand into her own and with a gentle and soothing voice, she said

“Hey, why the long face? Listen, I’ve talked with your father and I don’t agree with him at all. Honestly, I don’t care if the person you love is a man or a woman, I just want you to be happy. Your father has too much pride for his own good but I’m sure he’ll come around. I’m sorry sweetie. That I couldn’t protect you. I just wished you would’ve back down when I asked you to. Look at you now. You look like a car ran over you.” Taehyung chuckled softly at the light jab his mother gave him and letting her, gently caress his face, he teased jokingly

“Yeah well that’s why it comes in handy to be a doctor. You can treat yourself when this type of things happen.”

“Don’t even joke about it. Try and be more conscious of your own body. I’ve carried you for 9 months. So, try and take care of your body. I did not sweat blood and tears to have you in this state.” Taehyung couldn’t help but laugh at the nonsense his mother was spouting. Honestly who wouldn’t? His mother was seriously the best.

“Thank you mom. Thank you for not being mad at me.”

“Why would I be mad at you honey? You’ve worked your off for our family for as long as I can remember. It’s only fair now that you get your share of happiness. And if it’s by the hand of a man that you feel like you’ll be happier, I won’t stop you. Actually, I’d like to meet him. What’s his name?” Taehyung looked down for a bit before finally looking into his mother’s eyes and sighs guiltily “He… Doesn’t know.” “What do you mean?” His mother frowns. Taehyung gets on his feet and walking into the kitchen, he comes back with a bottle of water that he downs in one go under his mother’s scrutinizing eyes. Taehyung knew he was seriously taking too much risk and considering the fact, that he couldn’t just walk up to Jungkook and tell him that he was in love with him when the younger man had a girlfriend but he was always someone that did things to the extreme. Sometime, he wished he was just a tiny bit more realistic. Or at least more cautious. Can he even confess if Jungkook happen to be single? And then risk to make everything awkward? Taehyung wasn’t sure he couldn’t be that selfish. Especially not when he was supposed to guide them, not give them reason to run away from him. But he couldn’t just ignore his feelings either. And even though, it has been a massive mess ever since he admitted his feelings, he felt also a bit lighter after his coming out. If it weren’t Jungkook, he knew now where to start looking. With a deep sigh, Taehyung gets himself together and explains vaguely but he knew his mother will connect easily the dots anyway “I couldn’t confess to him.” “Oh honey I’m so sorry. But why don’t you try anyway? I mean who knows? I might like you too.” “I doubt it. He has a girlfriend. So obviously he can’t be gay. He’s also two years younger than me. And I don’t want to burden him with my feelings.” “Then why did you decide to do your coming out when you aren’t planning on confessing?” Taehyung’s mother wasn’t scolding him, Taehyung was sure, but he couldn’t exactly help but hear it that way. He actually did need someone to reprimand him and just tell him what to do. Because, so far, he had no bloody clue of what he was supposed to do after this. Should he or shouldn’t he confess? If he didn’t confess, can he pretend to be nothing more but a mentor alone? Will he be fine seeing him with Ahn and endure it? Will he be able to turn the page if he didn’t or will he be burden by the question of what if instead?

“I don’t know what to do anymore. It’s complicated.”

“Uncomplicated then. V ah, whatever you decide to do it won’t be an easy thing but like you bravely faced your father, don’t run away from this situation either. A word of advice from someone whose marriage has fell apart without her doing anything, don’t just sit back and wait for things to change. Because unless you take the chance of risking it all, you won’t ever know. You’ll never know how the outcome it would’ve been if you just tried. V ah, when your father decided to leave us to follow his dream, I should’ve done something then. If I did, you probably would still have a father and me, a husband. But I was just so convinced that no matter what he’ll come to his senses on his own. And look what happened. He didn’t get to see his son grow up. And you didn’t get to have a father. You don’t know how sorry I am because of that. I’m so sorry sweetie.”

“Mom, I don’t blame you for anything. As a matter of fact, I’m thankful for everything you did for me. I mean I know it wasn’t easy trying to be there for me and run the restaurant at the same time. As well as taking of grandfather and grandmother. You did all that all alone and I can’t never repay you for that. Dad left on his own accord. But you stayed. That alone is what made the person I am today.”

“You’re a really good kid Taehyung ah. I’m so lucky to have you and I’m not just saying this because I’m your mom. But you really are my biggest pride and you shouldn’t be scared or ashamed of what you’re feeling. Whatever your decision, I’ll always be proud of you. As for your dad, well, he’ll just have to it up if he wants to be a part of your life. But I’m sure, he’ll come around when he’ll realize that. So just follow your heart without worries. We love you just the way you are and that won’t ever change.”

Close to tears, Taehyung gently pulls his mother to his arms and taking in the soft perfume of rose coming from his mother, he mumbles gratefully, his eyes tightly closed

“Thank you. I love you mom. I love you so much.”

His mother chuckles

“I love you too you weirdo. By the way, your grandfather misses you so come over when you have some time ok. And don’t worry about your father. I’ll deal with him. It’s about time he and I have a little conversation.”

Allowing his mother to wipe away the tears that feel despite his best effort to not cry, they talked for a little while before he walks her to the door. He offered to drive her home but his mother sternly refused, saying that he needed to rest for he will be returning to work, quite an order he couldn’t go against. Thus, he watched her climb into the car his mother usually use when she has to do groceries for the restaurant. Politely greeting the man who he recognized as one of the waiter of the restaurant, he watches until the car disappears before he turns around and head back to his apartment. He stopped midway however at the familiar bark of the puppy his neighbor, he couldn’t remember the name, had. They were on friendly terms.

“Oh hello, are you going for his walk?” The handsome man he sometime runs into the elevator nods.

“Yeah, he’s been whiny because of it. I’m sorry about the noise by the way.” Taehyung flashes the man that he guessed shouldn’t be older than him, crouches over his dog and reassures cheerfully

“No, no, not at all. I’m practically never home anyway so it doesn’t bother me. Do you mind if I carry him for a bit?”

“Of course not. Go ahead. You’re a doctor right.”

“Oh yeah. How did you know?”

“I saw you at the hospital once.”

“Oh. I see.” Taehyung only replies, gently bringing the cute puppy’s face to his. Giggling softly at the pet that was now his face and generally his bruise, he mutters happily

“Are you trying to make me feel better? Thank you.”

“Do you like dogs?” The man suddenly asks him. Taehyung smiled warmly at the said man and nodding vigorously, he answers genuinely

“I do. Unfortunately I’m too busy to raise one.”

“Oh. In that case, you can… I mean if you want to, you can play with Rufus anytime you want.” Taehyung considers the man then and after a long heavy silence, he smiles at him and asks curiously

“What’s your name again?”

“Do Jungwan.” The man replies.

“Well then Do Jungwan ssi thank you very much for the offer. I’d like that very much. By the way, I’m Kim Taehyung.”

After a long lasting sloppy kiss from the dog he now know was called Rufus, Taehyung thanks the woman once again, and with a lighter heart, he was heading for the elevator when he suddenly felt a hand on his wrist. He had thought at first it was Do Jungwan but realizing that the hands felt too familiar, he turns around and instantly gawked at the recognition of none other than Jeon Jungkook. Sweaty and breathless Jeon Jungkook. Did he run here? Taehyung wondered skeptically but at the same time quite happy to see him. Alas, his happiness didn’t last long as the curiosity to know why he’s here to begin with hits him hard. Mostly when the younger man asks in a tone so grave Taehyung had to strain himself to hear

“What the hell happened to you?”