“I don’t know. But I have to. For him. But also for me.” Min Yoongi’s word echoed continuously in his head. Even when morning came, he was still steering in his bed unable to sleep. Jimin also seemed restless but from the way his back was turn, Taehyung figured he didn’t want to talk. It made him wonder if this trip was doing anything at all. At least, Namjoon hyung and Seokjin hyung seem past their petty little fight but everyone else seems to be in a worst state then when they came. Taehyung wasn’t one to talk either. He, was amongst those who simply felt drained by the trip instead of refilling.

Taehyung tried not to think of it too much and instead focused in packing their things. By the time everyone was up, he had already done everything. After a rapid brunch with the tribe, Taehyung and the others thanked everyone for the hospitality and were set to go but of course uncle Shiwoo just had to give him some last parting words. As he took Taehyung aside, he asks quietly

“Don’t you have something to tell me?”

Frowning, Taehyung answered

“I don’t see what you’re…” Uncle Shiwoo discreetly looked at Jungkook, who was busy helping Ahn putting on her backpack, and smiled knowingly

“I can see why you like him. He’s a pretty boy. But he’s taken. You know what it means…”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Jungkook is just a hoobae.” Taehyung denied. Shiwoo rolled his eyes at that and retorted

“Of course, and unicorn exist are just horses. Don’t with me. I’ve seen the way you’ve looked at him.”

“And I’ve seen the way he looked at you.” Hoseok’s voice suddenly said beside Taehyung’s ear. Flinching at the unexpected person, Jungkook stubbornly denied

“What? You guys are crazy. Look we’re not looking at each other in any way. And even if we did, in what other way would we actually be looking at each other besides a hoobae and his sunbae?”

“Like a man looking at his lover.” They both said in synch. Taehyung’s face immediately heated up at the accusation and firmly repudiated

“Are you guys drunk? What is this a prank? It’s not funny. He and I are nothing. And we’ll never be anything.”

“Ok, fine. No need to be aggressive.” Hoseok surrendered before turning away. Taehyung immediately felt bad for having been so rude but it wasn’t like he could help it. It was already bad enough that he wanted to do many things to Jungkook. If he had people encouraging him. It be worse. As he was about to apologize, Shiwoo lowly said, almost disappointed

“I thought you were braver than that. Well, have a safe trip.”

“Uncle…” He begun but the words caught in his throat, very much aware of how unlike him he was. But he knew about Jungkook’s situation. He knew how Jungkook’s parent were from the high society and they wouldn’t have their only son in a relationship with a man. It was just too complicated. Uncle Shiwoo must’ve seen the helpless expression he had, for he lets out a condescending sigh, pulled Taehyung by the nape so their foreheads gently collide and he whispered

“Don’t forget your words. Fear is in our mind. Courage comes from the heart. Don’t waste your time overthinking things and follow your heart. Tae, don’t be too stubborn this time. If this kid managed to move you, shouldn’t you at least give it a try? Don’t you remember all those times you said you wanted to feel something besides this nothingness? Don’t forget that love is the opposite of logic. So don’t try and understand it…”

“Let it carry you.” Taehyung interrupted. Shiwoo smiled evidently satisfied, then after an encouraging hug, Taehyung finally left with the group.

Back to his apartment and his routine, Taehyung thought seriously on what uncle Shiwoo said. And he would agree with the isolated man on one thing. It sure wasn’t like him at all to retreat before even taking the risk. Whether he flies or crashes down at least he’ll know what he’ll do next instead of just overthinking things and not moving at all.

It’s been a week since they’ve returned from their little camp and from the looks of it things have changed. In the end, that trip wasn’t that bad. Jimin seemed have come clean with Yoongi and weirdly enough they got closer. Not to the point where he could call them an item but Jimin was gradually warming up so it got to count right? Well, Taehyung wasn’t that surprised about it though. After all, he always kind of knew Jimin’s feelings would get caught up with someone like Yoongi hyung. Someone completely different from Jimin. He only had to admit it. Yoongi hyung still got a long way to go it seems though. As for Seokjin and Namjoon the two man looked like they were friends now. At some degree at least. Seokjin was still a bit distant but Taehyung knew it was only a matter of time before he warms up. It was one of Namjoon’s gift to simply charm people with his… Personality? As of Hoseok hyung, he was still the same cheerful and supportive hyung he always was but after the camp, he had decided to finally do something he hadn’t been able to do because of work. See the world. He was still planning it however. Although, not to be a party pooper Taehyung wasn’t exactly sure if Hoseok hyung will get to really travel around the world with his busy schedule. But then again, it Hoseok hyung he was talking about. Anything was possible if he puts his mind in it. And then there was Jungkook. Taehyung honestly didn’t know what was going on with him but he didn’t really ask. Not because he was uncomfortable to do so, but he just felt like if Jungkook had wanted to talk about it he’ll come see him himself. Alas, Jungkook hasn’t. Taehyung figured then that Jungkook was probably having his first fight with Ahn. Thus, he didn’t pry. Although, he was dying to know what was distracting Jungkook so much. Taehyung was preoccupied himself. But certainly not for the same reason. Taehyung had been planning for days to visit his old grandfather. And after days of catching up with work and thoroughly making sure, he was really certain of what he was going to do, Taehyung finally got the time to go back to Daegu. The ride home weirdly felt short. Probably because he had too much to think about. Mainly the pros and cons of his decision. But no matter how much the list was long, Taehyung wasn’t still convinced of his choice. But, he couldn’t back out now. He had to do this. Or he’ll never be able to move freely.

Finally parking the car outside the small alley, Taehyung took in a deep breath before finally walking up into the house. Pushing open the door, he called out loudly, taking off his shoes at the same

“Grandpa? Mom?”

No answer. Making his way to the kitchen, the living room or the rooms in search of any of the inhabitant, Taehyung’s frown grew deeper at the realization of the house being empty. Well, not so empty, thank goodness, as he finally spots his grandfather at the back of the house on a bench under a huge white tree. As his lips quirked up in a relieved smile, Taehyung proceeded over to where his grandfather was and he called happily

“Grandpa! What are you doing sitting there alone?”

“Taehyung? What are you doing here?” his grandfather asked instead, much to Taehyung’s consternation. Well, he feigned it though. With a hand on his chest, he pouted childishly

“Wow, it’s nice to see that you’ve missed me.”

“What are you talking about kid? You’ve been here two weeks ago. And you didn’t even call to say you were coming so I wasn’t expecting you for at least a month or so. But it’s still good to see you Taehyungie.”

Giving his grandfather a bear hug, Taehyung muttered in a stifle voice

“Good to see you too grandpa.” As if he realized something strange about Taehyung, his grandfather pulled away from the hug and with a frown, he asked taking Taehyung aback

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

Cutting through the chase, huh. Taehyung halfheartedly smirk at that and leaning forward, his arms prompting on his knee, he answered with another question

“Where is mom?”

“She went out. I don’t where but apparently she has a surprise.”

“What kind of surprise?”

“I don’t know. It wouldn’t be a surprise if she told me anyway now would it?” Taehyung laughed at the absurdity he had to admit his question was and took off his jacket which he laid on his grandfather. It wasn’t exactly cold but Taehyung didn’t want to take any chances. His grandfather didn’t seem to appreciate being pampered as he was about to protest but Taehyung beat him to it, literally taking him by surprise

“I’m in love.” Forgetting what he was initially going to do, Taehyung’s grandfather fully turned to Taehyung he was about to cheerfully comment at the confession but had a frown instead, when he noticed Taehyung’s head hanging low, looking not specially gleeful at the confession. Not exactly the reaction Taehyung’s grandfather was expecting from his grandson. After all, why was he so down at the words?

“Oh, boy is she married?” His grandfather concluded sadly. More pained for the unluckiness of his grandson if it turns out to be the case. Taehyung wasn’t the type to fall in love anyway. So for him to have such an obstacle when he finally got to feel something, now that would be a way too harsh penance. His conclusion was quickly brushed off though, when Taehyung shook his head negatively and assured hastily

“No, no. Of course not. What makes you think that?”

“Well, you don’t seem exactly thrilled so I guess it isn’t exactly a simple type of love.”

His grandfather answered.

“When has love ever been simple?” Taehyung countered back, much to his old man’s amusement. The old man affectionately ran his hand through Taehyung’s hair and agreed euphorically

“You’re right.” Taehyung briefly laughed at the man’s cheerful demeanor, inwardly happy to be related to this man. Honestly, Taehyung doesn’t know if he’ll ever be the same Taehyung now if it weren’t for his grandparents. He doubts he’ll be anything like this.

“But tell me then. Why the sour face?” His grandfather asked, this time in a more serious tone. Taehyung remain emotionless a moment but eventually, he sighed pathetically

“It’s complicated.”

“Why? She doesn’t like you? Now how can that be possible when you’re my grandson?” Snorting at the cocky comment, Taehyung lamented tiredly

“Seriously grandpa? You’re still on that?”

“What do you mean I’m still on that? It’s a fact kid. Get over it. I mean, you look just like me when I was your age and by experience I know no lady can resist our faces. So how can it be complicated?”

Taehyung rolled his eyes at the overconfident tone and said

“Ok fine. If that can get you through the day, grandpa.” He smiled fondly at the proud expression his grandfather had then and looking down to his hands pensively, he wondered if he should tell him after all. He didn’t get to think long for his grandfather pried in a much firmer tone this time

“Tell me what’s going on? I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.” After several seconds more of hesitation, he finally made eye contact with his old man and said

“I’m in love with a man.”

“You what?”

A voice suddenly startled both man who were on the bench. A voice, Taehyung hadn’t had the chance to hear for over a decade, but still could never fail to recognize it for anyone else. After all, who will ever forget his father’s voice?

Despite it sounding much scarier and more menacing than it did before, it was still the very same voice Taehyung grew up fearing and resenting. Why after so many years, that voice still managed to make his blood go cold and his heart race so fast in his chest. But not the good way.

“I’ve asked you a question didn’t i? What do you mean you love a man Taehyung ah?”

“Father?” Was all Taehyung could say however.

Jungkook was slowly losing it. His temper kept getting worse and he was more and more mentally unstable. Not to the point of being violent of course, but he would often get lost in his thoughts and more than once, he didn’t control most of his doing. Ahn noticed that of course, not only her, but none of them ever really had the courage to confront him about it. No one. And well from the past days, ever since they returned from their camp, and with Jungkook back to his routine and into avoiding Taehyung hyung, he only became more and more irritable. Essentially because as time flew by, he realized his feelings were only deepening. At some point, he had wanted to just give up and confess but of course, he quickly came back to his senses before he could do anything. And thank God he did. After all, what was he expecting after that? Besides, being away and returning home would certainly make him come to closure. It was only for the weekend but being at his parents’ house and away from all the complicated he didn’t want to deal with made him feel better. It was better than him pining.

Sitting on the edge of the balcony to his room, he blankly admired the view from where he was. Owning a private villa in Busan sure had his charm. The silence was healing.

“Honey, Seokjin is here.” Jungkook’s little bubble popped at the announcement of his mother. Without turning, he heard rustling and then Seokjin appeared next to him. Like him, Seokjin had also been asked to return home. But of course for totally different reasons than Jungkook. He was asked for an open heart conversation with his parents, while Jungkook returned to entertain his parents “friends”. Jungkook didn’t really care though. If it allowed him to get away for a while.

“Why are you here hyung? Aren’t you supposed to be with your parents?”

“I was.”

“And?” Jungkook asked blankly.

“I’m here aren’t i? I guess you can pretty much guess what it means?” Seokjin answered with a bitter laugh. Jungkook honestly didn’t know what to say then. After all, Seokjin hyung were having it harder than him. And yet, he was being some sort of whiny just because he couldn’t handle his own feelings. But it’s just that he didn’t know what to do. Jungkook wasn’t exactly THE guy who did feelings often. Jungkook mumbled quietly

“They are idiots.”

“Not as much as you.” Seokjin suddenly said, pulling him out of his view viewing. With a frown, Jungkook asked

“What do…?”

“Do you really think I don’t know?”

Jungkook wanted to deny whatever it was Seokjin was trying to get at but from the warning look Seokjin gave him, he sighed

“I was hoping you would.”

“You’re an idiot.” Seokjin stated and although Jungkook didn’t appreciate the qualification, he did kind of feel like that. Because only an idiot wouldn’t know what to do at all. And that’s how Jungkook felt. Like a complete lost bunny.

He had no clue as to what to do with his feelings nor did he have any idea on how to handle this situation better. So much for a genius.

“Why are you doing this? Do you really think you’ve got everybody fooled? Are you that embarrassed of liking a man?"

"Hyung I’m not you.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean I’m not brave enough to just face mom and dad. The world, I can take them but you know my parents. They will never allow me to be with a man. Besides he’s not even gay so why…”

“Why do you have to make decision so quickly without even giving it a try first? And about your parents, who you’re with is none of their concern. And do you really think they will care so much of your lover being a man when they find out that it’s actually Kim Taehyung? The infamous young doctor that have made so much achievement in a young age and had even been voted at the top 100 bachelor of the year? Kim Taehyung isn’t just any man if you haven’t noticed. Are you sure they will really mind if you brought Kim Taehyung home? Please, you know better than me that they’ll be eager to show him off. So what is it that really scares you?”

“It’s exactly because he’s Kim Taehyung. Hyung, like you said he’s not just anybody. And I don’t want to tarnish his image. Nor do I want him to be exhibit by my parents like some rare animal. It might be stupid, but I want more for him. Besides, he’s already rejected me.”

“What do you mean…? Oh. The night you were drunk. What did you do?” Seokjin asked coyly, looking completely unamused. But so was Jungkook.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He sighed, running a frustrated hand through his hair. Jungkook honestly didn’t want to be having this conversation. It was already painful enough that he was to give up of Taehyung hyung. He didn’t have to hear Seokjin hyung nagging on top of it too.

“Ok fine. I won’t talk about it anymore. But do you me a favor, don’t use the poor girl to keep you from doing something stupid. It’s not fair for you or her.” Seokjin finally said after a moment and Jungkook knew that was it for him. He’ll have to do something about Ahn then now. Truth is, he was really a for going after Ahn just because he didn’t want to admit his feelings. It was wrong of him. And he’ll fix it. He owes it to the girl.

“Kim Taehyung I’ve asked you a question and I’d like an answer.” Kyungsoo, Taehyung’s father demanded menacingly. Taehyung’s mother, probably sensing the palpable tension in the air, wasted no time to defend feverishly her son

“It’s nothing. You probably heard him wrong. Right Taehyung ah? Besides why do you want to get in a fight with your son when you’ve just returned?”

Kissing Taehyung’s cheek as a way to greet him, she turned to her husband and reprimanded softly

“You shouldn’t make quick conclusion like that without hearing your son out. He’s still your son. Give him the benefit of the day.”

“It’s exactly because you pamper him so much that he’s like that.”

“What do you mean?” Shot back Taehyung’s mother, looking far from pleased from the man’s behavior.

“Never mind. I don’t want to fight.”

“Oh really? Because it sure looks like you do.” Responded angrily Taehyung’s mother. Those dispute reminded him then to why he was never home with them. They were the exact definition of a marriage gone wrong. In the end, if his father hadn’t left, they would certainly end up with a divorce hence why his father leaving wasn’t so bad. Although, it just made his family life even tier.

“Now will you two stop it? Geez, what are you children? Let’s just go inside.” Taehyung’s father exasperatedly said, reaching out for Taehyung then leading them home. As they proceeded to the house, his grandfather whispered discreetly

“We’ll talk about it later.” Taehyung smirked at the mischievous smile his grandfather flashed him and he was grateful that he wanted to cover him up but now that both his parents were here, he should use the opportunity at its best. Regardless of how nervous he was, he had to come clean now or he’ll never will. He couldn’t just pretend he was someone else anymore. Muttering a silent thank you, they finally made it to the house and into the living room. Sitting beside his grandfather on the couch, he watched blankly his father greet his father in law and taking a seat on the couch in front, he asked politely

“I’m sorry for not having been here for the funeral. I’m really sor…”

“Cut the blah-blah will you? I know you’ve never really liked us. So keep your lame excuses to yourself. It saves us the trouble to say things we don’t mean.” Taehyung’s grandfather waved dismissively towards his son in law while his daughter disposed some fruits on the table. Taehyung wouldn’t lie, if he didn’t have a confession to make this whole situation would frankly be very comic to him. Except that he did have something to say and without a doubt it would only deepen the rift between him and his parents. Or at least, he hoped his mother would cut him some slack. Barely hearing his mother silently scolding his father from being cruel, he absently clasped his hands together and fixed intently the fruits. His mother must’ve noticed the dark shadow looming over his expression because she asked with concern

“Taehyung ah? Are you alright? Aren’t you happy to see your father?”

Taehyung should’ve lied then and honestly he felt like his mother’s look was also expecting him to say something along those lines but honestly he wasn’t. Why would he be happy to see a man he barely knew? A man that has never sent any birthday cards to him. Wasn’t there on his first game. His graduation. The day he got into med school. Was he supposed to be happy to see a man that only existed through pictures, several calls or brief Christmas party with?

“I didn’t know he was coming home. For how long this time?” Taehyung finally ask and in a much angrier tone than he had initially expected. Did he resent his father this much? Taken aback at the blunt tone, his father looked at him for a moment confused then finally recovering his composure, he answered in an equally emotionless tone

“For good. I’m no longer going back.”

Taehyung partially nodded at the answer and shifting his attention to his grandfather, he announced frankly

“I’m gay.” Why did he say it like that and with so much coldness Taehyung didn’t know but for some reason, seeing his father just irritated him to no end. And more than anything he wanted to shorten their interactions as quickly as possible. He was here for one purpose and one only. His paternal being here or not changes nothing about it.

His grandfather looked at him for a minute uncertain and for a minute there his heart stop. For even though he was strong, he wouldn’t be able to take it if he was rejected by his grandfather. Especially him. His grandfather finally broke out into a huge grin and flicking his forehead softly, he said, completely laid back

“I’d like to meet him then. Bring him in whenever you can.”

Letting out a sigh of relief, he was about to thank his grandfather for the embarrassing but adorable request but found it hard to do when he had his back so violently pushed against the wall. His eyes widened then when he felt a hand collide with his cheek. Looking up to who had just slapped him, Taehyung’s gasped

“Did you just slap me?”

“And I’ll do it again until you come back to your senses.” Hissed his father, ignoring the blood trickling at the side of his eyebrow. Taehyung couldn’t be bothered by it too though. Having his father raising a hand against him, a grown up at that unnerve him too much to care if he had blood gashing because of the ring that had collided pretty hard right at the side of his eye when his, so call father, hit him with the back of his hand. Like if he had been punched, Taehyung wouldn’t have been this angry. But having been slap instead left a sore taste in his mouth. As his mother pulled his father away from him, Taehyung stubbornly walked up to him, almost defiantly and asking his mother to move aside, he angrily spat

“Tell me why am I out of my mind? Because I like man.” His father threateningly moved forward then but was immediately held back by his mother who begged desperately

“Stop. Please. Taehyung ah, say that you don’t mean what you say. You only want to tick your father off right? Taehyung ah. Please, take it back. Please.”

“I won’t mom. Because it’s the truth and whether you like it or not, I am in love with a man.”

“Taehyung ah...” Pleaded his mother and even though Taehyung’s determination wavered then, he stood firm and pulling her mother aside, he took his father’s hand to his face and challenged angrily

“Does it bother you then? Well then go ahead. Hit me. Try and make me normal again. Go on!! Do it.”

At that point, Taehyung’s was more hurt than angry. He wasn’t a bad person. Nor did he want to have his father hate him, but he was who he was. Whether his father agrees with him or not, he’ll follow his heart. Was it that unacceptable for him to be in love with a man? Was he wrong?

As his father delivered the next blow, Taehyung bit back a whimper and as he endured his father’s hit, hearing his mother sobbing and his grandfather trying to interfere, he bit his inner cheek to not cry. He didn’t want to give his father that satisfaction. When finally, his father stopped hitting him and his grandfather angrily scolding the man, Taehyung took in a deep breath and letting out a cutting laugh, he said

“Are you done? Too bad, because I’m still not in my right mind. In fact, I want to have that man even more now.”

“You stupid kid. Do you think it’s any way for a man to live with another man?” His father angrily said, unable to reach once more for his son, with his father in law in the way. Taehyung wasn’t really conscious about it though. Suppressing the need to bend and hold his aching stomach, he stood straight and answered bitingly

“And is it any way for a man to leave his family for half a decade, return and pretend to actually understand what’s going on? The truth is you don’t really give a do you? Because if you did, you’ll try and understand me. Do you really think I haven’t tried suppressing this feelings? That I haven’t tried to follow society’s regulation? Damn it, I’ve been fighting it.”

“Try harder then.”

“It’s not easy! It’s not like I’ve asked to be this way. I didn’t ask to be different but I am. Dad…”

“Don’t. Until you returned to normal again, consider yourself fatherless.”

Fighting back the tears threatening to fall at the cold and hurtful word, Taehyung gulped with difficulty his spit and in a heartbreaking tone, he answered

“I never had a father to begin with.”

Turning away then, he ignored his mother calling out for him and walked out of the house. He hadn’t expected it to go very well with his parents but the reality of things were far more painful than what he had imagined. In fact, he had never wanted to be the reason for his mother to cry so much. Or for his father to be this disappointed. He hadn’t wanted any of this to happen. Walking into his car, he rests his head on his wheel and grimacing at the iron taste in his mouth, he finally laid his head back on his back seat and angrily hit his stirring wheel, not finding any other way to express his distress. His anger dissipated though when he heard a knock in his window. With the tears welling up at the recognition of his grandfather, he slides down the window and apologized reprehensibly

“I’m sorry I didn’t…”

“Hey don’t. You’ve done nothing wrong. Your father is an idiot. But you know I’m here for you right? Whether you like a woman, a man or even an alien you are and will always be my grandson.” His grandfather firmly interrupted, resting a comforting hand on Taehyung’s shoulder. It wasn’t much but Taehyung was enormously grateful for it. He really was the luckiest man on earth to have a grandfather like his.

“Oh come on don’t look so down. I can’t have you running around with a face like yours though I have to admit even beaten up you are still very handsome.”

“Grandpa…” Taehyung couldn’t help but laugh/cry at the absurd words his grandfather was saying. But he didn’t really care. He loved his grandfather altogether.

“Now here it is the smile I was looking for. Listen to me son, you follow your heart. Your father will come around when he’s ready. But don’t feel obligated to please him. You are you. And honestly, you are perfect just the way you are. Well minus the injuries but you still look fine.”

“Thank you grandpa. Did I ever tell you that I love you?” Taehyung smiled painfully at the older man. His grandfather laughed briefly at the awkward smile, careful to not hurt his grandson, he brushed away the locks falling over his eyes and advised quietly

“Just go home for now Taehyungie. Let the news sink in first ok?”

“Will you come with me if I asked you to?”

“You’ll be fine.”

“How do you know that?” Taehyung asked unsure. And he was genuinely unsure if he will be. His grandfather smiled reassuringly to him and pressing encouragingly his shoulder, he repeated

“I just do.”