Unfortunately, the time had come for Leeteuk, Eunhyuk, and Henry to return him. With the promise of returning very soon, the trio said their heartfelt goodbyes and left for home. Around the same time, Mir left to stay with his father for a couple weeks which made the house feel extremely empty. Kibum couldn’t help but feel that he had driven everybody away, foolish as it may be.

Heechul had decided that they could take a short break before returning to his parent’s home and Kibum was eternally grateful for that. He was emotionally exhausted and needed some time to himself, but Heechul didn’t want him to spend too much time alone. Each day there was some new activity to keep him occupied: a trip to the movies, going to the water park, going to the boardwalk shops, etc. Heechul had even bought him a new game console, which he had been really wanting. The distractions were working well enough, he wasn’t putting much thought on his deceased family, but they didn’t stop him from feeling depressed.

There were many feelings he was experiencing and he didn’t know how to deal with them. Writing in his journal wasn’t helping make sense of them, although it was still a relief to write all the things he didn’t want to talk about. The problem was he needed a way to deal with everything and there were very few ways he knew how. At the moment, writing in his journal was the only way he could feel somewhat in control over the storm inside his head, because the other option was to search for his drug dealer and he was trying very hard to stay clean for Heechul’s sake.

He would be so upset and hurt if I started using drugs again. I doubt he would forgive me anymore, but if I happened to overdose again it wouldn’t really matter. I would be dead and his forgiveness would mean nothing.

“That’s a terrible thing to say,” Kibum whispered to himself, but it was true.

“What’s a terrible thing to say?” Donghae’s voice piped in.

Kibum didn’t answer him but focused his attention on the television. He narrowed his eyes when Donghae started pinching his arm trying to get an answer out of him. Inching away from his brother, Kibum huffed in annoyance and folded his arms over his chest protectively. “Leave me alone, Hae. I’m not in the mood.”

“Yeah, what’s new?” Donghae retorted sarcastically. “Stop moping all the time, Eeyore.”

Kibum glared at the television but once again refused to answer him. Unfortunately, Donghae wasn’t taking no for an answer and continued to bother him by blowing into his ear. He swatted at his brother to get away from him, but this only encouraged Donghae. Finally, when Donghae began to poke him in the side, Kibum stood up and left the room.

He sauntered into the kitchen, searching the cabinets until he found a box of Oreos. He grabbed the package and went to the table to sit down and eat, but the moment of peace only lasted a moment before Donghae followed him in. He watched his brother warily as Donghae sat across from him, grinning in an almost taunting way.

“Heechul is bringing me and Key to your old house,” Donghae informed him, tilting his head to study Kibum closely.

“And?” Kibum snapped, grabbing another cookie.

“Nothing, I just think it will be interesting to see where you used to live,” Donghae replied nonchalantly. Kibum could already see where this was headed, much to his annoyance. He snatched the package and left for his room, but Donghae quickly followed him. Once in his room, Kibum tossed the cookies onto his bed and turned around to confront his brother.

“What’s your problem?!” He exclaimed angrily, clenching his hands into fists.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Donghae said innocently, feigning surprise. “If anything, you’re the one with the problem. Why don’t you want me to come?”

“Because you’re turning this into a competition!” Kibum cried in frustration. If Donghae was only trying to get him worked up, it was working. His heart was thumping in his chest and he was breathing deeply. “You’re still comparing what we went through. Why does it matter?!”

Donghae glared at him, but before he could answer they were interrupted when Key entered the bedroom.

“Why are you being so loud?” Key asked exasperatedly, putting his hands on his hips. He looked at Donghae and then at Kibum. He turned to Donghae and asked him suspiciously, “What’s going on in here?”

“Nothing, he’s just being emotional,” Donghae said smiling at Kibum. He stepped over to his younger brother and slung an arm around his shoulders. “We’re alright, aren’t we, Kibummie?”

The look in his eyes was sincere, and Kibum melted under the warm smile. He shrugged his shoulders and nodded curtly, but said nothing. Maybe he’s right, I’m just being over emotional and reading too much into this, he thought to himself.

Key studied them closely, trying to detect if there was actually something wrong. He turned his attention towards Kibum for a moment before deciding that Donghae was right, that Kibum was just being emotional, which was understandable.

“Heechul is going to be home soon,” He said finally, glancing out the window. “We still haven’t started on our chores, Donghae.”

Donghae groaned loudly and left the room complaining about how he didn’t like doing chores. Key stepped out of the room after him, but when he turned around to close the door behind them, he saw Kibum sit at the window and put his face in his hands. He just needs some time alone, Key decided, closing the door and leaving.

Once their voices disappeared down the stairs, Kibum moved onto his bed. He lay on his side and reached for the package of cookies. As he began to eat, he thought about Donghae and why he felt the need to compare the troubles they each had faced before Heechul brought them into the family. He came up with multiple reasons but he would never know for sure unless Donghae decided to enlighten him.

None the less, he didn’t want Donghae to come to his parent’s home, plain and simple. It worried him that Donghae was under the impression that he had just spent those months going about life as it normally would be.

He had waited alone for weeks thinking that they would return home and things would return to normal, as much as it could. During that time, he had gone back to school to keep up the appearance that everything was alright. Nothing had changed in his absence; everyone was still gossiping about his family and accusing him of murder, treating him like a piece of garbage. The people he called friends turned against him, they did nothing to help when other students started bullying him. The teachers turned the other way but at the same time mistreated him as well. There was no one he could turn to for help.