Six Weeks Later

Kibum stared out the car window with a blank expression, silently watching as the stores in town were replaced with tall trees. He was a little surprise by how much nature had changed in the time he’d been in the hospital. The luscious green on the trees had been replaced with various shades of red, orange, and yellow that twirled to the ground in a dance of autumn and the weather had dropped significantly. If he hadn’t been completely numb with anti-psychotic, anti-depressant, and anti-anxiety medication he might have found it all to be beautiful; autumn was his favorite season, after all.

When home came into sight, he was a little surprised to see that it had been all decorated for Halloween. Four large jack-o-lanterns descended down the front steps and little orange pumpkins adorned the top of the railing. There were cutouts of ghosts and witches taped to each window and the yard had been converted into a graveyard with wooden tombstones. The car parked in the driveway and as he slowly walked towards the house, he read the silly names that had been painted on each “grave”. It seemed as if his family had a lot of fun with all the decorating; he could just imagine them working together outside, laughing and joking together. He was glad that they had enjoyed themselves in his absence; at least he would have been if he didn’t hate three out of the four of them.

He hadn’t been expecting a welcome home banner stretched across the wall or anyone jumping out with party poppers as he walked through the door, which was good because none of that had happened. There was nothing to celebrate his return home, not even his brother’s standing at the door to welcome him. He lowered his eyes to the floor, slowly moving aside as Heechul came in and shut the door behind them.

“Key, we’re home now!” Heechul called up the stairs, much to Kibum’s surprised. He looked up as his brother came thundering down with a delighted smile spread across his face.

“Kibum!” Key said breathlessly, throwing his arms around Kibum and hugging him tightly. He pulled away a moment later, his sparkling eyes connecting with Kibum’s. “I’m so glad that you’re home, it hasn’t been the same without you. Everyone at school has been wondering where you’ve been. I told them that you were in a car accident, that’s why you were in the hospital.”

Kibum allowed himself to be pulled into the living room where Key pushed him down on the couch and disappeared into the kitchen. He sat there quietly, staring blankly at the floor as he listened to rustling and whispers coming from the other room. A moment later, Heechul and Key walked in holding a little cake and a bottle of apple cider. Heechul set the cake down in front of him on the coffee table so that he was able to get a good look at it. He blinked slowly, reading the ‘Welcome Home, Kibum’ writing in purple icing. It was clearly a homemade creation which meant one of them had put some hard work into baking it for him; he would have appreciated it greatly if he hadn’t been full of drugs that kept him from feeling anything at all.

Key plopped next to him on the couch, a proud grin stretched across his face. “I hope you like it, Kibum. I made everything from scratch out of this recipe book I found hidden in the cabinets. I wasn’t sure what your favorite flavor was so I just swirled the batter around so it turned out to be a marble cake.”

Kibum nodded slowly, numbly accepting the little plate Heechul handed him with a slice of cake on it. He stared at it with lifeless eyes, vaguely listening to the conversation around him without joining. He felt tired from all the hype; the past six weeks had consisted of peace and quiet, the soft voices of his doctor and nurse. He’d been in isolation most of the time he’d been in the hospital and now that he was home, it felt like his world was being turned upside down and it was exhausting.

“What’s the matter, don’t you like it?” Key asked suddenly, noticing that Kibum hadn’t touched his cake. Kibum looked down at his treat, shrugging his shoulders.

“I’m not very hungry,” He whispered apologetically. “Sorry…”

“It’s been a long morning, why don’t I take you upstairs to rest?” Heechul suggested lightly, taking the plate from Kibum. “Dr. Choi said that you should take it easy for a couple of days. I think it might do you some good to take a nap for awhile. When you wake up, Donghae and Mir will be home from school.”

Kibum’s eyes darkened slightly at the mention of his two brothers, but he said nothing as he followed Heechul upstairs with Key right behind him. He glanced into the bathroom as they walked by, noticing that there was a brand new mirror above the sink replacing the one that he’d shattered. Clearly Key had been the one that picked it out because it was completely glamorous and twice the size of that last one. Heechul must have let him redecorate the entire bathroom because there was a new purple shower curtain with a matching rug and the walls had been painted a light shade of beige.

Key noticed him inspecting the shared bathroom and sent him an apologetic look. “I thought purple looked nice, but we can change it if you don’t like it.”

Kibum shrugged his shoulders with disinterest, turning away to follow Heechul to his bedroom. He noticed that there was a new lamp on the table at the end of the hall, which he appreciated since it acted as a nightlight for him. However, his appreciation quickly disappeared when he stepped inside his bedroom and found it completely barren except for his mattress that was on the floor. The curtains were gone, his furniture was missing, and even his carpet had been replaced. If he hadn’t been so numb from all the pills he was on, he would have been angry at the fact that his door was missing too; even his closet door.

Heechul placed his hands on Kibum’s shoulders, trying not to feel offended when Kibum squirmed away from him. “I didn’t want to pick out new furniture without you, so I have some catalogs in my room that we can go through another time. I thought it might be nice to completely redecorate the room any way you want.”

Kibum blinked heavily, understanding the hidden meaning behind Heechul’s words. He’d ruined all of his belongings and now he’d never see them again. It bothered him that he’d destroyed even the items he’d brought back from his former home, all the sentimental things that his parents had gotten that he’d wanted to keep. He bowed his head, his eyes going blank as he succumbed to the strong doses of medication pumping through his veins that made it easy to just block away the world and turn himself off. Without saying a word, he lowered himself onto the mattress and curled up in a ball. He closed his eyes and within minutes he was fast asleep, which was a new coping method he’d developed over the past couple weeks.

Heechul watched him sleep sympathetically turning away after a minute so that he could get a blanket from the closet. He carefully draped it over his son, leaning down to tuck him in all tight and snug before beckoning Key to follow him out of the room. He walked across the hall into his own room, closing the door after Key came in and then they both settled on his bed for a much needed heart to heart.

“What’s wrong with him?” Key asked quietly, hurt clear in his voice. He stared down at the blankets sadly, fiddling with the edge of it. He didn’t understand why his brother was being so docile and unresponsive. It was almost as if he’d had his soul out of him and now he was just a broken doll.

Heechul sighed deeply, unsure of how he could explain the situation. He didn’t want to let the kids know that Kibum was such a danger to himself that Dr. Choi had put him on all these medications that would subdue him, make him so numb t