A/N: I feel like everytime I post, I have an excuse.

But these last few months I had my whole world collapse under my feet.

I had to deal with so many things at once, I had anxiety and mild depression hit me, and I coundn't find time or solace to do anything. I had to deal with hospitals, bills, family, work, all by myself. I was emotionally unstable, and physically exhausted. I literlly had only an hour to myself each day if I was lucky.

My mom who is I love so much has mental health problems and after so many years of being okay, she fell ill again. She suffers from bipolar disorder and Schizophrenia. Everytime she has an episode, she forgets who she is, who the people around her are, she becomes suicidal and is emotionally unstable. She hears voices and becomes extrememly hostile towards everyone.Plus she doesn't sleep at all which makes it worse. I was a child back then and I have never witnessed anything like that because my family shielded me and my younger sister.

But we've all grown apart and now that I'm an adult, I got to see it first hand. 

It was scary.

Heartbreaking.

I admitted her myself to a hospital and I remember being awake for 30 hours because we had to have her checked on vitals, CT scans, and have a doctor diagnose her in order to send her to a mental hospital.  I was drained and it only got worse. . .

Bills were piling up, my dad who really wanted to be there for us was away for work. I had to take care of a household by myself and work full time. But after a whole two months of seeing her sick, I admit I almost called it quits. 

I have never had suicidal thoughts in my life. I am happy about myself and never questioned anything that ever happened to me. 

I was on my own for a while, but thankfully I have amazing co-workers who reached out to me and helped me. And somehow through it all I found it in my heart to keep going strong, and through God-because all I remember was praying for her full recovery and now I have her at home-not completely there yet, but she is recovering.

Life , but I value life so much. And if any of you ever think about calling it quits- remember this.

I don't know who you are- I have never met you nor do I know what you've gone through. But I love you all. For the support and for being alive. Your life makes a difference. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. Don't be afraid to seek help. I did and if I hadn't, I wouldn't be posting.

Live to see tomorrow because I know there is hope and I know everything will be alright.

Love you guys! I hope to hear from you guys and if anyone needs an ear- I have two lol 

Saranghaeyo!!