It's Sunday today and I received a message from Jiyong.

Wear your best dress. Wear black. I like you in black. I'll see you later.

I replied. 

What time?

3 PM.

     I don't really ask him questions because he blackmails me everytime. This is one of his commands. And I know he's a good person. I called my sister through Skype and she quickly answered. She has face mask on her face while eating a cucumber. 

"Hi, I called because I want to borrow your black high heels. Please?"

She smiled, "Sure. I'm glad you called me and nothing's wrong."

"Me too."

     We talked about the usual. Jisoo is my sister and she's not living with us anymore. She couldn't live with my mom anymore. She was her puppet. Just like me.
My mom expected her to be perfect so that she can brag about herself being a perfect mom. Mom has everything but she wanted more. She was never contented. She was trying to gain more but she lost things in the process. First, my dad. They divorced when I was fifteen. 
     My dad was a simple man. He tried everything to stop mom from being a monster that she is. But he failed miserably. Because of what he did, mom felt like dad didn't love her and can't accept her for what she is so, she decided to get a divorce.
     Dad tried his best to get the custody of their children, us, but unfortunately, he failed. I was only fifteen, I was so scared and also lost. 
     A year later, dad died of heart attack and that was when Jisoo ran away from home. She was daddy's girl. She was his favorite child. It hurt Jisoo big time because she said mom took her time to be with dad. 
     Now, Jisoo's still holding a grudge towards mom. She hops from one place to another because she was worried mom might find her and turn her into a puppet again. I've always thought of running away but i have so many questions like what if I am not as strong and independent as my sister? How will I live? Will I ever see my friends if I do that or will I hop from one place to another like Jisoo? What about Haneul? And what about mom?

xxx

     I stepped outside when I saw Jiyong's audi. He was wearing a suit and he really looked handsome. 
     "Where are we going?" I asked excitedly as I get in the car. It must be a formal event.
     "It's a surprise." He smirked as he turned to the left street.
     "Okay." I wonder what it is.

     We decided to get coffee at Starbucks nearby the school. The customers are looking at us like we're celebrities. Or maybe because Jiyong looks so perfect in his suit. He got me my favorite frappe while he got himself a caramel macchiato.
     I sat on the seat near the glass wall. "Wait, I forgot something in the car." Jiyong said and I just nodded.
     He came back really quick with a bouquet of flowers in his hand. 
     "For you." He handed me the flowers as he sat down on his seat. The flowers looked beautiful and it was so fragrant.
     "Oh my lord, tell me this is just a joke or I'll think you're falling for me." I laughed.
     He choked on his caramel macchiato. "I'm just showing you what Haneul should be doing. This is what real men do. Not make out in a public place." 
     Oh god, he's acting childish again. After making out with Haneul in a public restroom, we went back to our seats inside the cinema. Jiyong turned the flashlight on his phone and pointed it directly in our faces. He noticed my smudged lipbalm and Haneul's lips was shiny and a bit pink. After the movie, he didn't wait for us so we had to book an Uber. He was so weird I started to think he was jealous. But I know he's not.
     "We will be having dinner tonight. Let's just stay here until 5PM. I need to think first." He said as he sipped on his coffee.
I nodded. Dinner with his family? I wonder what his family looks like. Are they a bunch of gangsters? Thugs? 

xxx

     The drive to his house was silent. He was sighing the whole time I want to punch him. It's just a dinner! 
He parked outside a huge house. It looked like a mansion and then he held my hand as soon as I get out of the car.
"Go with the flow." He whispered as we walk through the lawn.

     His mom and dad were seated in the dining room. From chicken, to steak, potatoes, wine, everything was beautifully cooked.
Jiyong offered me a seat and then he sat beside me. So we're facing his mom and dad. They didn't look like gangsters. They look professional. Her mom looked way younger than his dad. His dad looked a bit old because of gray hair and a few crease line on his forehead.

     "This is Jieun. My girlfriend." Jiyong said as he held my hand. What?!
     I looked at him, confused but he squeezed my hand and I remembered 'Go with the flow'.
     Silence filled the room and we were not eating at all. His mom and dad were watching me. It made me uncomfortable. I hate being watched.
     "Break up with her." His dad said in a firm tone. I swear he's scary. 
     "If we're done eating then we'll leave. Thanks for the food." Jiyong said and then he stood up making a lot of noise. His expression is blank and angry at the same time. 
     "Thank you for the dinner!" I shouted even though we barely touched anything. I was dragged off the room by Jiyong. 
     He then dragged me inside the car and drive his car full speed. I don't want to die! "Slow down!" I shouted in fear.

xxx

     We stopped by the river and bought soju when we passed by a 7-eleven store. I sat on the ground, with a bottle of soju in my hand. He sat beside me looking into the horizon. It was dark but the city lights was there, witnessing a different side of him.
     "What's wrong?" I asked. 
     He took a swig of his soju and said, "That was a command."
     "What was?"
     "When I told you to go with the flow." He smiled weakly without looking at me. I didn't respond. I don't know what to say because I don't want to hurt him. It seemed like a sensitive issue. 
     The crickets were starting to get louder; the wind getting colder.
     He sighed. "Why would I marry a stranger? Why would I marry someone I don't even know? And I am still so young! I hate them."
     "Why do you hate them? Maybe it's for your own good,"
     "I hate them. Really. And it's not for my own good. It's for their own. It's because they want to build a good relationship with this big businessman."
     I took a swig of my soju before speaking. "Oh man, that svcks."
     "Yeah. They're controlling me to be perfect when I am just  a ed up kid like them. Worst, trying to setup an arranged marriage for me."
     "ed up parents... I can completely relate to that. But isn't it ironic that you hate your parents for controlling you, when you, yourself, is controlling me?" I said and it came out different. It was meant to be a joke to lighten up the mood but it came out like an accusation.
     He looked at me fiercely. "I am not like them and never will be."
     "Hey, it was a joke..." I interjected and I met his gaze. He's really mad.
     "A joke? Let me tell you what's a joke. You know what, you're like my stepmother. You're a flirt and all you do is break relationships. How does it feel when you kiss your best friend's boy friend? How does it feel when you're being hidden?" I was taken aback. The tension between us was rising, I can feel my face go red and warm. 
     "You're an assh*le." I barely manage to say something. I stood up and threw the bottle of soju in his car's windshield and it trigerred the alarm.
I wiped my tears with the back of my hand. I walked away and he didn't stop me.

xxx

     I got home feeling drained and puffy. Mom was sitting on the couch in the living room. She looked like a mess. It was so new to me because she's never home. She leaves in the morning and doesn't get back til dawn. And it's only 10PM.
     I was about to go upstairs when she grabbed my arm and slapped me so hard I thought I lost a tooth. 
     "What was that for?"I shouted, touching the cheek she's slapped.
     "You're a disgrace!" She shouted back and her voice was defeaning. She threw pictures in my face and it scaterred all over the floor. It was pictures of me entering a club and drinking alcohol in a house party. These pictures can't be seen by the public because it will deteriorate her reputation. I have no idea I am being watched. How much did they see? Did they see me as a flirt just like Jiyong sees me?
     "Mom, I can explain--" I looked at her but our eyes never met. She was so frustrated.
     "I don't want to hear your explanation, you good for nothing! I can't believe I have a child like you." She grimaced and she walked away. I felt my stomach sink, my face warm, my eyes all puffy, my heart is in pain and my whole body shaking.
     

     I crawled under the sheets of my bed and cried my eyes out. Why is this happening to me? I questioned myself. My cellphone vibrated and it was a text from Jiyong.

Meet me at the rooftop after school tomorrow. Ditch me and these files get to Seohyun.

     I was typing " you" but I didn't send it. I pressed the clear button and started writing...

Go on and send it. Thanks for ruining my life.

     I hit send and I threw my cellphone across the room. I am so tired, I just want to sleep.