I can barely open my eyes because they're swollen. The light outside lit the room and broken things welcomed me. Posters ripped in half, pieces of a broken vase on the floor, picture-frames were broken, lying on the cold floor. The room was a mess and I don't have the energy to clean it.

     I walked toward my walk-in closet, careful not to step on broken glass. I looked in the mirror and breathed heavily. Everything played on my mind and it broke my heart again. Everything is so fresh, vivid, and it makes me sick. Did I just lose everything in a snap?

     I closed the door beside me and started walking toward the car I booked. I can't just leave. I need to know the reason why Haneul broke up with me. We were perfect. I know there must be something up. And of course, Seohyun. We can't just end our friendship, right?

xxx

     "Oh my God, Jieun! What happened to you? Is it your mom?" Jessica asked me with worried look on her face. The girls-- Jessica, Taeyeon and Tiffany, circled around me asking me why do I look so lifeless. Seohyun wasn't around. Is she absent?
     "You know what it is... Mom." Liar. 
     Taeyeon scowled, "I hate your mom." 
     "Taengoo!" Tiffany hissed at her and then looked at me with her eyebrows furrowed, making sure I wasn't offended.
     "It's okay. I feel the same." I breathed. I'm such a bad person. I can't even tell them what really is happening.
     Krystal entered the room panting. "Jieun-ah... Detention.... for... not participating yesterday..." She muttered under her breath.
     Shoot. I left yesterday after my 'meltdown.' I forgot that if you don't participate in the activities you'll receive a punishment.
     I stood up and walked toward the door. I hugged Krystal and smiled at the girls before I left.

     I walked down the hallway to go to detention room with my head down. I wish Jiyong is not there. He didn't participate in the activities because he was with me. Ugh! I can't see him in this state AND I rejected him after he dropped the bomb. But that doesn't change the fact that he played me.
     I held the doorknob and took a deep breath before twisting it open. 
     A boy wearing a pair of sunglasses appeared before my eyes. He was sitting in a chair with his legs on top of the table; his hands at the back of his head. I sat down on a chair at the back so he can't see me. He didn't speak.

     It's been atleast half an hour since I came here and the teacher is still not here. I hate my life. It's so awkward.
     "Stop staring." He said but he didn't move.
     I ignored him. How did he know though? He has eyes on the back of his head. I don't want another boy drama. I am just so tired.

      "How are you?" He asked, but this time, he turned around and put his sunglasses down just a little bit so he can see. His eyes are red and the lids are grayish. 
     "I am fine." I said, to end the conversation.
     "You don't look fine to me. You look so skinny. Are you still eating?" 
     "I am naturally skinny. Stop talking to me." I rolled my eyes at him and turned my direction to the other side.
     "Okay. I won't beat around the bush. Everything I told you yesterday is true and I am still waiting for you."
     I paused. "Waiting for what?" I stare at him.
     He completely took off his sunglasses and walked toward me. I am getting nervous.
     He sat on the chair next to me while looking at me intently. "I am waiting for you to realize that I am here for you. Waiting for your answer. Waiting for you to love me back."
     "Just because you love me doesn't mean I have to love you back. It doesn't work that way, Jiyong. My heart is with Haneul. Yes, he dumped me but I won't let him go without giving me an acceptable reason, a clear explanation." I grimaced. 
     "He doesn't love you, Jieun. Stop chasing a boy who ripped you to shreds!" His eyes scream anger. He seemed exasperated.
     "I didn't come this far, to only come this far." I slammed my hand on top of the desk. "Stop acting like you're my mother. You have no right to tell me what to do. You played me, I believed you. Congratulations, Kwon Jiyong."
     He was about to say something when the teacher entered the room. 
     "Good morning, Ms. Hwang." I bowed.
     She ignored us and then she sat on her chair. "Reasons?"
     "We didn't participate yesterday." Jiyong interjected. Wow, and now he's speaking for me? I am so pissed. Not because he's ordering me what to do and the like, but because everything that comes out of his mouth is truth. I feel like everybody left me. I feel like I have no one to talk to about this matter. No one really understands me.
     "Since I am not feeling well and I need to rest, just submit an apology letter to me before lunch, you brats."

     I exited the room quickly before he could say another word. I just need to finish this damn letter and then I'll talk to Haneul. 

     Before lunch, I submitted an apology letter that I copied from the internet. Ms. Hwang didn't read it. She just waved her hand telling me to 'shoo, go away.'

xxx

     The It girls were seated on our usual table. Seohyun wasn't around. She is indeed absent. I'll talk to her tomorrow. Seohyun doesn't skip school unless she's sick... or something.

     I was walking toward our table when Haneul entered the cafeteria. He has bed hair and bare face. I need to talk to you. I whispered to myself as I walk toward the table to put down my tray. I turned around and he was sittting on their table. Three steps from me is the boy I've always loved. My Haneul.
     Our eyes met and I mouthed, "Let's talk outside." 
     I didn't wait for his response. I quickly left the room and on my way out, I saw Jiyong staring at me.

     I waited for him in the usual place. The rooftop. It was the only safe place for us. In front of me is Haneul. He was gazing at me, not saying anything. 
     "I need an acceptable reason, Haneul. You can't just leave me after everything we've been through!" I yelled, trying to stop my eyes from crying.
     He heaved a sigh and said, "I was an assh*le. I have no excuse. But Jieun, I love her. I love Seohyu--"
     "Enough! I don't want to hear anymore! You played me! You said you love me. You said you'll choose me over anything!" I just want to scream and slap him and cry but I won't. Because I can't do that to him.
     "Jieun, please..."
     "You really are an assh*le, Haneul. I loved you first. I was there for you before you met Seohyun."
     "Jieun, I loved you but not in THAT way."

     "Wow," I scoffed. "So it is in the past tense now? Loved? Don't worry, I'll forget about you, too. I'll forget that you lied to me and you played me just like everyone did!" My mom. Jiyong. And him. They played me.
     "Don't beat yourself up because of me. This is all my fault. Jieun, I am so sorry. This happened because of me. I'm so stupid. I'm sorry. I've been an assh*le to you."
     "I hate you." I said leaving him there. I thought I could handle the truth. I thought I won't cry because I feel like I've cried so much already that I ran out of tears. It hurts so much. All of me, all of my body parts ache because they're longing for Haneul, but now he's gone, and I have to endure the pain and get used to everyday life without him, without haneul. Without my boy friend ex.

     I am so tired. I just want to sleep.