I woke up with my head throbbing. All I remember was after the kiss, I slapped him and drank too much alcohol. I'm inside my room. How did I get here? Who knows?

     I asked my nanny who drove me home last night and she said it was a rented taxi and she also said that I was lucky nothing happened to me while I was drunk.

     "Who told you to drink?" Mom shouted without looking at me. She was busy organizing her paper works on the living room table. I ignored her. "I'm sick and tired of your attitude, Jieun. You know I'm running for Mayor of this damned city yet you act like a depraved child! If I lose this time I'm telling you to--"

     I interrupted, "to pack my bags and get the heck out of this damned house? Worst, disowning me?"

     Words came out of my mouth that I, myself, is shocked. I ran upstairs without hearing her response. She must have been shocked too.

     My mom is a very strict woman. She is a perfectionist; always putting herself first. I was never her daughter. I am just one of her puppets. I can't make a mistake. A single mistake can lead to her disowning me. I got lucky today. But even if that's the case, I love her. She's my mom afterall. I always aim for good grades, I behave at school, so much that everyone's calling me an angel. It's pathetic but I love it. Because I believe that if she realize how much I work hard, how much I love her, maybe she'll look at me like I am her child and love me even if I am not perfect. I just want to be loved.

     I skyped Jisoo and she answered after a minute. "What's wrong this time?"

     "I've had too much to drink and mom was furious. My head hurts like hell. Oh, and I missed you. I hope to see you soon." I smiled at her, and she smiled back at me.

     "Aw, I missed you too, little sister. Don't do something like that again. Do not upset her or you'll end up living on the street." she replied as she munch on her toast.

     "I know." I rolled my eyes at the camera and flopped into my bed.

     We talked for about half an hour and then I took a shower. I stink seriously.

xxx

     Seohyun texted me saying Joongi is throwing a party tonight at his house. Joongi is one of the football players of the school. I replied  "I'm going. See you."

     Later that night, I wore a black halter dress that I bought from Forever 21. It emphasized my skin tone and my thin figure. I paired it with black highcut Converse. I curled my hair and put my makeup on. Haneul is going to be there.

     At the party, the music was defeaning. People are dancing like crazy, the football players playing beerpong with some girls sorrounding them. On the staircase are strangers. I think they're adult and not even invited here. For short, party crashers. And they're making out so hard I think they're going to eat each others faces soon. Gross.

     I promised myself I won't drink tonight. I was sitting with the It girls nearby the fire place when I noticed Haneul walking towards us. He looked at me and I smiled. He smiled back and shifed his eyes to Seohyun who was tipsy. He made his way to us and he hugged Seohyun. Seohyun started kissing his neck up to his lips. And he kissed her back. 

     "Ew, get a room!" Jessica complained while making a face.

     The girls laughed and I was there, in front of them, looking at them with jealousy and envy. Every seconds felt like eternity. Every move they make felt like a dagger to my heart.

      "He's so sweet." Seohyun uttered as she pulled Haneul in for a passionate kiss.

      I accidentally tilted my cup causing me to spill juice on the floor. I craned my neck to the side and saw Jiyong smiling with his hand on my waist.

     "Jieun! Is he the one?" Seohyun looked at me with glassy eyes and put her hands on her cheeks in shock.

     "The what?" Haneul asked looking confused.

     "Don't tell me..." The girls interjected in unison.

     I waved my hand to the as I tell them "No, he's just a friend." The girls sighed in disappointment while Haneul looked lost. I quickly dragged Jiyong outside the house, somewhere quiet, and I confronted him.

     "What the heck are you doing here?" I asked but it was almost like a whisper. 

     "What am I doing here? Joongi's my friend. What about you? What are you doing here? You're not friends with him."

     "Do I have to be friends with him to be able to attend his party?"

     I was about to walk away when he tilted his face to the right. The light from the lamp post was bright enough for me to see his red cheek. Wow. It must have hurt a lot.

     "You owe me this one." He smirked. And that, my friend, is another blackmailing technique.

     I breathed. "Stop bothering me just for a while and I'll deal with you after the party. Okay? I'm enjoying this party and please can you just stay lowkey? I don't want people to think that we have something going on between us."

     "Fine. But are you really enjoying this party? It looked like you needed an excuse to get out of that situation. They looked sweet though. It looked real." 

     My heart felt heavy when those words escaped his throat. Haneul and Seohyun's kiss looked real. Is it real? Speaking of the kiss. A flashback came into my mind it was Jiyong's kiss last night.

     "You look bothered. Did I hit a nerve or you're still thinking about our kiss." He chuckled as if he's reading everything that's going on in my head.

     "I am not bothered. Their kiss and our kiss are both fake. There are no feelings to it. Stop bringing that sh*t up and just shut up for a second. Geez!"

     "You're bothered."  

     "I am not. I'll see you later." I turned away shaking my head in disbelief. Is there really no feelings about their kiss? Do I feel thankful that Jiyong saved me earlier? Am I bothered because of his kiss? No. I am not bothered. I can't be bothered. 

     I took a deep breath as I walk inside of the house. I am bothered of his kiss. I don't want to, but I do.

     I stepped back inside the house and it was thrashed. I saw the girls dancing on the 'dance floor' and more strangers making out. I scanned the room looking for a person. And finally, I saw him. He was playing beerpong with his friends. He noticed me staring at him and then he nodded one time telling me to go upstairs.

     We went to Joongi's mom's room and luckily, no one was there. The room was spacious. Most of the furnitures are made from Mahogany. At the side, there was her vanity table and on the other side are cabinets and pictures of their family. I sat on the bed while Haneul sat on the table. 

     "I missed you." I looked at him and I smiled. He came over to me and said, "Me too."

     We flopped on the bed and his eyes searched mine. His eyes are the color of almonds and I saw my reflection. It was just me. No Seohyun, no other people. Just me. He cupped my cheeks and started kissing me. His hands travelled from my face to my waist and we're running out of breath. I love this kind of kiss. We're so close I can smell his detergent, his perfume, his shampoo and I can feel his soft skin that smells like Dove soap. And this is a proof that he's mine and that we're okay.

     Stolen moments like these are precious to me. I memorized everything that happened and I will keep in in my heart forever.

     I stopped kissing him to tell him something. "What's wrong?" He asked me in the cheek.

     "I think we have to tell the truth while we have the chance. Don't you think?" 

     He rested his head on my chest and he started speaking. "Who was that guy from a while ago? He looked familiar." 

     "It's Jiyong. Of course, everyone knows him. He's one of the 'bad boys' at school. He's crazy." 

     "Oh, I see."

     I was about to ask him again about telling Seohyun the truth but I didn't push it. Because I am afraid that he might avoid it like what he did just a few seconds ago. We stayed like that as the silence fills the room.

     Just when I thought everything was okay... Just when I thought he was definitely mine, he avoided that question. And I wish he didn't because that simple action, hurts my heart the most.

an update for y'all!!

my heart hurts for iu ;_;

please read this story until yhe end~~

thank you very much subbies~~

photo credits to the owner <3