“Thank… you…?” Yerin actually responded after ten seconds of utter silence. Whew.

Now all I needed was to say something normal before I scoot through the window.

“Hmmm...” I started, and then she looked at me with anticipating, seducing eyes. Fine, they weren’t seducing me, I just wanted them to be. I swear I could have just jumped to the other side of the room and smothered her with a hug. But I subtly balled my free hand so my nails dug into my palm to elicit a much-needed self-control.

“Eonnie… Can you… Read more?” Okay, so much for saying something normal. The only upside of that forthcoming tragedy was that I didn’t stutter for the first time.

“Why?”

I only expected her to say no, not why! I nervously swallowed and, “Hmmm… N-Nothing, j-just a birthday request.” I’m really gifted with an ability to jinx myself. And God! Birthday request?! I realized I could be such a weirdo.

“When is it?”

“Next week, the 3rd. But…” I stood up trying to act composed and squeezed in The Little Prince to rejoin the stack. “… if you need to do something, you can ignore-”

Before I finished my sentence, she started reading her book… From page one.

I almost peed my shorts from happiness.

* * *

After two hours, Yerin went down to the kitchen and automatically took her spot in the counter to read. Eunha nudged Sowon and pointed at her.

“Uhhheeuurrm… Yerin-ah.”

Yerin only lifted her head to acknowledge the leader’s call.

“Do I need to get the mop and start tidying up the room?” Umji nonchalantly said without looking away from the laptop monitor.

“I didn’t hear a gunshot though. Did you use a silencer?” Eunha giggled to a thought only she was aware of.

“She’s alive.”

“Good to know I didn’t have to explain her death to Boss JD. But why didn’t she come down? She didn’t eat yet.” Sowon stood up from the sofa and approached the counter.

“She fell asleep.”

“WHAT?!” Sowon and Eunha exclaimed.

“I hope not on my bed.”

“Nope.”

“ON YOUR BED??” Again, from the surprised duo.

“Oh my god… What did you do to her?” Now Eunha was approaching the counter too, with her bright and suggestive demeanor.

“Nothing.”

“As if you can get anything out of her, Eunha-yah. Just go ask SinB tomorrow.”

“Wait, did you slip a drug on her drink or something?”

“Tsss… Not everyone’s like you.”

“Excuse me, Giraffe, I am having an adult conversation with Yerin-eonnie, not you.”

“And in what context are you using the word adult?”

“You’re still a baby, you’re not even supposed to join this conversation, Umji-yah! So, eonnie, did you?”

“I don’t have a reason to do that.”

“Tsk. Well, Mother Theresa, just in case you’ll need it in the future, let me know.” Eunha winked and retreated to the living room. Yerin just shook her head and went back to her book.

But Sowon continued to pry, “Hey, nothing really happened?”

Yerin just glared at her.

“Sowon-eonnie.” Umji called from the other side of the room. “Do you want us explaining your death to Boss JD?”

That night, Yerin stayed in the living room where she fell asleep, as always, with the lights on and her book laying open near her.

At dawn when she woke up, it took her a minute to piece together her unusual state. She was covered with a blanket; the book was nowhere within her reach and it was pitch dark. Immediately, she touched her right ankle to feel if her small gun was still where it should be. And then she chuckled at the thought of an intruder making sure she stayed warm after stealing her book. She knew burglary just doesn’t happen that way.

Yerin miraculously dozed off again and woke up an hour before everyone did. And before anyone could go down to Yuju’s calling, she was already out of the apartment.

“Hey guys! What are you waiting for? Come down now, I’m here!”

“Yah. It’s so early for you to strain your voice. You cooked all that?” Sowon asked half-asleep slowly walking down the stairs. Behind her was Eunha who woke up completely to the sight of food.

“Huh? I thought you cooked it. I just literally came from work, eonnie.”

“Oh yeah, you worked overnight. So, who cooked?”

“I’m guessing, Yerin-eonnie.” Looking over from the second floor, Umji suggested after seeing the confusion building up in the kitchen. “Only the four of you cooked, and deducing from your faces, none of you prepared that.”

“Wow, Yerin-eonnie cooked breakfast after a long time? Someone must be hungry...” Yuju commented while gawking at an omurice.

Sowon and Eunha looked at each other and had the same thought. “SINB-YAH!!! BREAKFAST!!!”

* * *

I sat straight off the bed disoriented after the yelling from the first floor. Could they be any louder? And then Umji called from the other side of the door.

“Hungry?”

“Starved.”

“Food is ready.”

“I’m coming.”

I almost dragged myself down the stairs. I don’t know if it was because of hunger or hangover from Yerin’s voice the previous night. I couldn’t believe I fell asleep while she was reading. And with her expected absence that morning, I could only hope that she did not get upset about that and my intrusion of her bed. It was still not sinking in that I didn’t just dream all that.

I sat beside Yuju who, with her fingers, started combing my hair that I didn’t care fixing before I came down. After munching a spoonful, I realized I was trembling from skipping dinner, which I will never regret doing again if I get another chance to talk to Yerin. I could happily die malnourished or with an ulcer, I could not care less.

“I can’t believe I’m still hungry.” I said after finishing one omurice.

“Here.” Sowon dropped the last omelet on my plate. I reckoned there were six of it and everyone was done eating, but Yerin did not join us and I didn’t want to take her share. “No, Yerin-eonnie might be hungry when she comes back.” I knew she usually ran earlier in the morning and I didn’t want her returning famished without food.

“See that?” Umji pointed to the rack by the sink. All I saw was a plate and a pair of chopsticks, so I gave her a puzzled look.

“Yerin ate before leaving.” Sowon said while giving Eunha a meaningful glance.

“Ah… I’ll eat this then.” And so, I started with my second serving still obsessed with the number of omelets. “So, you cooked seven??”

“Nope. Yerin did.”

I don’t know why Umji smiled to Sowon’s reply.

“Uhm, by the way, SinB-yah, tomorrow night after the trial mission will be my birthday celebration.”

“Ohhh…” Was all I could say with my mouth stuffed with food.

“Yeah, Eunha doesn’t like surprises, so, she plans her own birthdays.”

“If you call drinking a plan?” Sowon chuckled her reply.

“Isn’t that how you got eonnie to be your girlfriend last year?” Umji casually commented making the leader turn red and growl to the unexpected backfire.

“Oh yeah…” Yuju added, “I remember you were so drunk, you cried and begged her to accept your proposal.”

I could only smile and look at Sowon as I imagined her begging. With all the affectionate stares that I’ve seen from Eunha in the past weeks I’ve been with them, I assumed that it was the short girl who was head-over-heels for Sowon. But I guess their story started differently.

“Uhhhhm, you know, I need to head to the supermarket quickly to restock.” Was all Sowon answered while Eunha remained unusually silent, probably reminiscing that day. Then I realized it would have been their first anniversary on her birthday if they did not break up.

“You just did that yesterday.” Umji reminded.

“Tsss… Why don’t you just go to your laptop, google something and make yourself useful.” Sowon sing-songed as she walked back to the stairs.

“Like what? How to not beg a girl for her love?” Umji replied as she ran behind me after she saw Sowon turn around with her vicious eyes. That was the first time I’ve seen Umji act like a kid around everyone and I was happy that it was me who she turned to for defense.

The 15-minute banter ended when Yerin entered the apartment with her running shorts and a white shirt drenched in sweat. Her scent instantly caused a commotion inside my chest.

“Eonnie, d-did you eat?” . The speech disorder is back.

She didn’t say a word and just looked at the drying rack which Umji pointed to earlier. Without greeting anyone, she climbed up the stairs and her sweaty white skin glistened to the touch of the sun’s rays.

I did not assume her to be all mushy and kind to me after that reading session. But I didn’t expect her to return to her disturbing apathy either. I thought maybe she was upset about me falling asleep or maybe she didn’t like that I covered her with a blanket last night. Or… Wait, did I just dream all that??

“That reminds me, what happened last night, SinB-yah?” Eunha whispered.

I grinned realizing it wasn’t just a fantasy.

“Last night?” It was Yuju who asked after I forgot to respond. “Did something happen last night?” She sounded hurt more than curious.

“Uh, nothing. Nothing happened. We just talked about her books.”

“While you were on her bed?” Sowon smirked.

“On Yerin-eonnie’s bed?” Yuju asked hesitantly and I started to feel uncomfortable with their questions. I knew they were teasing but Yuju who sat beside me was nowhere near delighted. Umji on the other hand quietly went to her laptop and avoided being involved in the conversation.

“I just sat there. And eonnie was by Umji’s bed.”

“But you fell-”

“Sowon-eonnie!” Umji cut Sowon’s teasing and asked her to come as she received an email from Uncle JD. It was a relief that Sowon left immediately but…

“What was eonnie saying? You fell…”

“…Down.” For some reason, I didn’t want to tell Yuju what happened. Her question made me feel that she might not want to hear the real answer.

“Yeah, we heard a loud thud I thought she finally got shot.” Eunha forced a laugh. I know for sure that she knew I only fell asleep, but I guess she also saw the need to lie. I wonder if Umji was just doing the same by distracting Sowon.

“Ommo… you’ve been falling so much lately…”

Yeah… I’ve been falling so much.

* * *

After breakfast, Yuju went to sleep while the ex-lovers, per Uncle JD’s instructions, headed out to check the location for the trial mission happening the next morning. Tomorrow’s pseudo-assignment was easy since it basically just needed us to get information from a meeting that will occur in some restaurant in the city. But it was still a mission, and we had to succeed in it.

The apartment fell quiet as everyone else went to their usual routine. From the upper floor, I saw Yerin by the kitchen counter, as usual with her book and maniacal concentration. I suddenly felt nervous of the possibility of talking to her again. I think I might have in all the air in the second floor when I inhaled deeply that I felt light-headed.

I walked carefully down the stairs and found the courage to sit across her.

"May I?" I pointed to the to their room. I didn't need words to tell her I wanted to borrow a book. I didn't actually want to read.

"Soothe yourself."

"Thanks!" I wanted to stay in the kitchen with her and so I had to find a valid reason. Reading was the most legitimate and I needed a book for props.

The mere fact that she gave me the permission to borrow one felt like she again let me in her personal space, especially that I learned how meaningful the books on that shelf were for her. It felt like she allowed me to borrow her hand so I can hold onto it. I felt closer to her through them. I knew it was weird, but it felt that way.

I just got to the ground floor and now I was climbing up two steps at a time to reach the bookcase with lightning speed. I was in a hurry that in less than a minute, I was back at the counter with Pride and Prejudice.

Dammit, of all books, why did I grab a sappy Jane Austen?! But I just sat confidently and pretended it was on purpose.

With all the noise I've created, her attention remained unwavering. She was the one studying but I was the one getting distracted by her presence. I couldn’t accept that my charming existence was no match to a verbose, lifeless opponent named Pharmacokinetics.

My dreamy staring stretch was disturbed by the magical appearance of Umji from nowhere. Again, from nowhere.

And it wasn't enough that I needed more than literature to pacify my nerves, Umji had to comment the unnecessary: "I didn't know you could read upside down."

Not again. Before Yerin could look up, the Bee's earphones have already settled comfortably into my unwilling ears. Yerin's expressionless eyes met mine as a pop song blasted through my eardrums.

I was looking at Yerin and I couldn't make myself look away. I couldn't even blink. It felt like sleep paralysis except that I'm fully awake and conscious... well too conscious.

There was a good thirty seconds of just staring, and then I saw her hand moving toward my direction. I held my breath anticipating her touch, my mind shut, and my hands were about to tremble.

She reached for the book and turned it downside up. Then she went back to reading. There goes thirty seconds of downright embarrassment.

Umji vanished the same way she appeared with the earphones that were suddenly gone.

And casually without taking her eyes off her book, "What did she make you listen to?"

"Cr-" Damn. I definitely can't tell her. Think. SinB, think of a song! "... Cr... Crazy for you!" . That's even worse. I wanted to punch myself for being a lame liar.

"You're a terrible liar."

At this rate, I could become an author. How to Embarrass Yourself for Dummies with a definite special mention of Umji in the acknowledgement page.

⁺"Crush" by David Archuleta

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY EUNBIS! Thank you again for reading! I hope I can always make you smile (or laugh- but maybe refrain from reading my story when in public, for your own sake hehe). You're all awesome! :)