Breathe

Talk

   A few miles before the sun would take to the other side of the world, Byungjoo and Xero sat next to each other around another bonfire. The boy knew Byungjoo was tense, but didn't exactly know how to comfort him, so he leaned his hand on his shoulder, and pecked his cheek. He looked the other way, so Xero went back to paper and pencil:

Penny for your thoughts?

Byungjoo didn't respond right away, instead, sighed. "I know why my mom wants to see me."
Xero never moved his gaze.
"It's because I was on the news as some local hero, so now she wants to be apart of my life. Because she realized I'm not some dirty scum high on meth." He looked to him. "I don't want you to go... Xero, you are flesh just like me. They're capable of doing to you what they would to me."

I understand. Your mind is spinning. Think before your official answer. But I will not let you go by yourself.

 

   Xero walked through the old fashioned pastel-like entrance of the visitations center at the prison Byungjoo's mother stayed at. He waited in line to have his visit confirmed by the security guard. 

Byungjoo didn't want Xero to go, so he was doing this behind his back, out of protective will. He knew he couldn't take any chances.
"I.D?" The security guard cut off his worried thoughts of how angry Byungjoo would be with him, and politely let his card down on the counter for the officer to gather. "Keep this badge clipped on you at all times. You must return it before you leave. Your visit will last twenty minutes."
Xero nodded and looked around for Byungjoo's mother: she sat at a far table with another figure across from her. He gradually approached the two in questioning, taking the seat next to the kid, who also wore a visitor's badge.
"Who are you?" His mother shot disgusted glares at the boy, who only replied with a mild stare into her eyes with no expression.
He shifted his study to the other boy next to him, pointing at him with a tilt of his head.
"I'm uh..." He began to shake his leg, becoming nervous. "I'm Hansol... Do you know Byungjoo?"
Xero nodded, and pulled out a pen and paper from his coat pocket:

Byungjoo does not want to see you. I'm here to tell you to leave him alone.

He slipped the paper across the table to the arrogant mother, who read it, leaning back in her chair with her legs crossed, then pointed at Hansol. "Shame. So what are you gonna say about his brother?"
Xero arched his eyebrow.
"Yeah. Hansol, that's his brother." She gritted her teeth at him, but Xero was not intimidated by her in the slightest.
He tapped Hansol on the shoulder and signaled him to leave with him. The two got up, but Xero had pulled another folded paper out of his pocket and slammed it on the table, then strolled to the counter to return his badge with the other.

The paper was old and fragile; the bold white color it once was, was smeared with the dark grey lead boldly sketched on its body in childish handwriting:

Where is my mom? I am at a house with everyone I don't know. I am scared of my mom. But I am more scared of this place. It is dirty here. I am hungry. I want to go home. I can't tell what the adults here said to me. They said she is gone. But where? When will my mom come back?

Byungjoo's mother cupped her hand over after reading the letter from her son, then got up and threw it in the garbage.

 

   Xero sat next to Hansol on the bus. The kid would not stop talking.
"I mean I know it's probably hard for Byungjoo being in foster-care and stuff, but just because you're in foster-care doesn't mean you're a bad person, right? I knew about Byungjoo for awhile now but I was always afraid of him. Is he easy going? Or is one of those mean people? I ask because I'm pretty sensitive... I can't handle people yelling at me very well."
Xero sat back into the seat, resting his head backward, then looked to Hansol who took notice of his tired gesture, so he chuckled.
"Hey you're that Xero guy!" Hansol exclaimed.
He nodded.
"Wow, I can't believe I just realized that! Like I was sitting there wondering why you weren't talking or anything and then it just dawned on me. No offense. Wow I'm so stupid."

After what seemed like forever, the bus had finally came to Xero's stop. He tapped Hansol's arm and guided him out, following him to the bench, afterwards leading the way.
"So are we going to Byungjoo's?"
Xero shook his head, then pointed to himself.
"We're going to your place? Is Byungjoo going to be there?"
He shrugged.
"I hope not... I don't think I'm ready to meet him."

And Xero hoped Byungjoo wasn't there either, where, to their relief, he was not. At least for now. He washed up and offered Hansol to anything around while he did so.

Xero later on found Hansol sitting at the kitchen's island with his face burried in his hands. He walked up to him from behind, listening to his unsteady whimpers, then got a quick glance of his face, questioning no further. Hansol's hands shook violently, so he took them away from his cheeks, forcing him to watch his motions. Xero breathed in and out, signaling Hansol to do the same with a respectful patience. The other let Xero hold his hands an tried to catch his breath but couldn't.
Byungjoo quietly came through the front door, planning to stay there from his shift. He heard the heavy breathing from the kitchen and rushed to see what was going on. He laid his eyes on a focused Xero with some person he did not know. The kid looked to him, immediately shattering into a worse condition, making Byungjoo drop his things to the floor to help.
He grabbed his shoulders. "Okay, watch Xero. Follow his breaths. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out." His voice slowed down after repeating himself so many times, Hansol finally able to calm down. 
Xero patted his leg, then went to the sink to get him some water, and Byungjoo took his place, sitting in the chair next to him. "Are you okay?" He asked Hansol.
"You're Byungjoo... Right?" His voice was still shakey.
"Yeah... Why?"
"I'm your brother..."
Byungjoo frowned. "Huh? What do you mean you're my brother?"
"We have the same mom."
His study immediately glared at Xero, who rolled his eyes, sighing. "You went and saw my mom?"
The boy nodded.
"Why would you do that? I told you not to!" He went to get up, but caught himself analyzing Hansol again. "So that's why you had a panic attack? You were afraid of me?"
Hansol nodded with a soft hum.
Byungjoo shook his head. "It's not your fault. I'm not going to be mad at you about that... How old are you anyways?"
"Eighteen..."
"Is everything okay?"
Hansol squinted. "What do you mean?"
"I mean do you have a place to live, are you hungry, are you in school? That sort of stuff." He clapped his hands on his thighs as he spoke.
"Yeah. I'm fine. Xero brought me here."
"Excuse us for a second."

Byungjoo pulled Xero into his bedroom, letting the anger from his blood spill on him.
"What the actual  Xero!? I told you not to go and you ignored me and did it anyways? Is that what kind of relationship this is going to be? One-sided? I'm going to listen to everything you say, but what I say doesn't matter?"
Xero frowned an pushed him on the bed to get him to shut up, then scribbled on a free paper:

I went to tell her to leave you alone. Because THAT'S what you wanted. I didn't KNOW Hansol was going to be there. It's over! You won't hear from your mom.

He slapped the note into Byungjoo's chest, then walked out of the room to a worried Hansol.
"What's going on? I can call my dad to pick me up if you guys don't want me here."
"No it's fine." Byungjoo said, startling the kid. He then turned to Xero, who wandered around the living room. "I'm sorry Xero." He looked back to Hansol, and began his concern again. "It's a weekday, don't you have school tomorrow?"
"Yeah, but I can skip. My dad doesn't care. It's some rich fancy school where the teachers only care about their popularity." He laughed. "I... I don't really like school anyways."
"Why not? It's important?"
"Cause the kids ."
Byungjoo stopped at his response. "What do you mean the kids ?"
"N-nothing..! I just... Get bored-"
"No, not nothing. Hansol, what do you mean the kids ? Do they bully you?"
"N-no..? You're taking this too seriously."
Byungjoo sighed, and sat him down on the couch next to him. "Look, we both lived different lifestyles. It sounds like your rich, and I wasn't. If there's one thing I know it's that most rich people are s. And I also know how to read."
"Read..?"
"Yes read. Read your feelings. I can tell when you are lying, or hiding something."
Hansol let out a breathy laugh. "Byungjoo... I..." He struggled to find his words, then proceeded listing his problems at a continuously faster pace. "I'm gay. And I get beat up for it. And I have anxiety. And I have depression. But I can't tell anyone. Or else I'm weak and pathetic. Which I am, but I can't handle anyone telling me that. I'm failing in school. And I might not graduate. And I have no one to talk to. And I know my problems are stupid and unreal. Like why am I even upset over this-"
"Yeah that's about what every kid your age goes through." Byungjoo smiled. "Give me your phone."
Hansol gulped. "Why..?"
"So I can give you my number."
"Oh..." The kid handed him his phone, where he quickly created a new contact.
"B-Joo. That's my name. So now, when you need someone to talk to, call me. Don't think about my response, or whether or not I'm busy. Just call me. Or text. Okay?"
"Okay..." His lips curled into a quiet smile.
"I don't think it's best if you skip school this late in the year, especially if you're worried about graduating. So you're going to school tomorrow. I'll have Sanggyun drive you and me. And I'll talk to your teachers. What are failing?"
"History... Science..."
"Okay, I'll see what I can do."
Hansol hesitated at this point, but forced himself to speak. "Byungjoo-"
"B-Joo."
"B-Joo... Sorry..."
"Don't apologize."
"Right... I know this sounds weird but... I feel like your this gem that suddenly came into my life... I never met someone who cared this much... And to think I was scared of you..."
Byungjoo laughed. "We might as well start somewhere, right? Family's are supposed to care about each other... And turns out, I'm your brother, so I care about you. Even though I barely know you." He ruffled his hair, standing up. "It'll get better. I promise. But I gotta make a call real quick to get you a ride."

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kitamea #1
Chapter 23: It's been so long! I do wonder what he did in prison though. I think Taeyang knows more than he says
BABOUSHE #2
Chapter 22: Bless this fic
voguehansol #3
Chapter 13: i love this story so much
1lover
#4
Chapter 13: So sweet
TaeXCupid #5
Chapter 11: This is was so touching, tbh >~<
TaeXCupid #6
Chapter 8: The chapter's grammar was really good, keep up the good work. Fighting✊✊
TaeXCupid #7
Chapter 7: cry, this chapter was lit
BABOUSHE #8
I cry;; this is gold
BABOUSHE #9
Chapter 3: This is rly good and very well written!! Cant wait to see what happened to xero!
Markjacksonyounjae #10
Angsty