Xero sat at the bus stop late the next afternoon with an envelope resting between the grips of his fingers of both hands—a cold drift creeped through the openings of his hoodie, painting an uncomfortable atmosphere. He shook, staring at the letter anxiously as if it were attempting a runaway.
Every nerve in his mind echoed for him to forbid himself from ever laying his eyes on his parents again, but he knew Byungjoo was right. He knew that if he didn't apologize to them the story would never end. The book could never be closed. So he did as he must, waiting on the same old bench only to walk a mile to a place he once called home.

The strays of a wish flower's head flew along the arms of the winds as Xero walked upon a lonely sidewalk with the envelope tucked in his hoodie's pocket. He was at first careful not to crease it, but later decided it didn't matter after repeating maladaptive images of their response of the letter. He knew they wouldn't care. He owed it to them but he felt like he was only a minds of an ant beneath their feet being squished as they proceeded to their destination with love and laughter. In a way he was jealous. Jealous that they were able to find happiness, and he wasn't. But he deserved what he got, because it was he who created this mess. It was he who was the monster.

The familiar black-bar gates became visible after awhile's worth of walking. He hurried to the side of its driveway's opening where the mailbox was stationed. He took the letter out of his pocket to slip in the slot, but instead wrapped his hands around the cold metal bars, examining the house he once knew: a two story brick-built home surrounded by a yard of free weeds and tall thin grass' with crooked pavements. He navigated himself to the corner of the gate, his hands grabbing along each bar he passed, begging for quick glimpse of the backyard. His once sanctuary. An old willow tree with a rope tied around its strongest branch. The tire was gone. But that was all he could see.
"Jiho come on, we got to hurry to the store." Xero sprinted behind a near bush as he heard his mother's voice from the front porch, his heart raced as if he were about to throw up. Jiho? That was his name.
"Okay mommy!" He peeked at the sighting, noticing a little boy who couldn't be much older than five.
The two jumped into the car and Xero listened to its engine, not bothering to look at them any longer. A tear dropped to ground, one that he barely felt.

He was careful to maintain hidden until the car wasn't visible any longer, then hurried to the mailbox, shoving the letter inside with immediate regret, but he ran to the bus stop as fast as he could, with a want to never return again.
 

I still exist.

 

　 　Byungjoo and Sanggyun arrived home from work, tired and beaten.
"So, tell me about that mute guy. I've been holding back the question all day even though I needed a distraction." Sanggyun threw his bag on the couch, taking off his jacket.
"You know it's pretty... Creepy..." Byungjoo called out from his bedroom, quickly returning to where Sanggyun was. "He uhhh... He saw a guy jump off a bridge a few years back and the next year on the same day, there... Was an accident. He... Accidentally killed his little brother."
The other gasped. "The Jiho vs Shin case?"
Byungjoo frowned in questioning.
"Dude that was all over the news! He was mute cause he saw a man commit suicide, and they found his diary where he kept writing to a man over waters or something."
"Oh my god."
"Yeah no. This was back when you were all... Recovering and stuff so I get why you don't know about it but it was crazy dude. A few years ago his parents announced they were having another child named after him. When he was still in prison."
"Why?"
"I forget... Something about replacing him or something. Cause like... He called himself Xero so he wasn't Jiho anymore... He wasn't their kid."
"Sanggyun... I wish you would of told me this earlier..."
"Why?"
"Cause I told him to write an apology to his parents! I gotta stop him!" Byungjoo grabbed his coat, sprinting out of the door.
Sanggyun chased after him. "No! B-Joo I'll drive you, you idiot!"

 

　 　But Xero wasn't there.