Chapter #3:

        The Routine.

It was another normal day. The sun was scattering its bright rays on the measly humans on the Earth, the birds were as usual cursing the human species for all the smoke and pollution they have created, the bald, old, greasy chaebol next door was once again trying to hit on his maids and was shouting profanities at his male workers, Chen was busy making the breakfast for everyone and Minseok was reading the newspaper sitting in the chair right next to him. Jongin and unsurprisingly Chanyeol (who spend every freaking second of his life in this big as house and torture Sehun with his presence) were up to I-don’t-give-a-. Sehun yet again was caged on a baby chair with a bowl of in it.

?

Yes!

It was another normal day of the week and the fifth time Sehun found himself cursing the lady; who turned him into a baby. It was not because he was unable to do a lot of things, not because he can’t function like a normal person, not because he had to piss and poop in the diaper. Nope. It was because of the inedible food he was forced to eat by his parents. Actually, calling it a food was a disgrace to the great blessing of food.

This is ing poison. It should be banned from this whole universe.

The sleepy baby thought to himself in a whiny tone and glared at the food in front of him with distaste. Don’t get him wrong. He was surprisingly really enjoying his life as a baby given that he didn’t have to work ty part time jobs and live in a rundown apartment and all. His life was awesome really. All he had to do was to eat and sleep. Oh- and of course, torture Jongin and Chanyeol; this one was his ultimate favorite. It’s been a week since Sehun was brought to his new home and to his utter fortune Byun Baekhyun still didn’t know that Pork Chanyeol was inhibiting this house almost 24/7. It was not like his friend hadn’t been visiting him. No. Baekhyun visits him daily, but because God loves Sehun so much, he always arrives at the time when Jongin and Chanyeol had already left for their University. Now that we are talking about University, I will go ahead and inform you guys that Baekhyun being the kind friend he is (he only wanted an excuse to stalk Chanyeol) had taken it upon himself to go visit his University and freeze his semester because—

a) They didn’t want all the money that he had spent on his academic to go to a waste.

b) So he could continue his studies where he had left them if by any chance he grows up again.

Okay. Now back to the matters at hand, Sehun absolutely loathes baby food. It has no taste, no color, no nothing! It was an absolute nightmare and made Sehun regret all the times he had cursed at the cup noodles he had to eat daily at his apartment.

They were so much better.

“Jongin! Chanyeol! You both better get down here in the next five seconds if you don’t want me to castrate you.” It was Chen shouting. Nothing new. Sehun had already gotten used to his noisy mornings. His parents were not to blame for that, though, they were completely innocent. If it was not for a certain Baboon and his best friend their mornings would be as peaceful as the ing Iceland!

“Coming~”

Trip and fall down the stairs and then never wake up.

One can always dream. Sehun watched with a permanent scowl etched on his baby face as the rubber squad made their way down the stairs without any harm and placed their butts down on the chairs; Jongin sitting on the other side of his baby chair that was not occupied by his father. Can you believe his ing luck? No right? He can’t either. The baby grabbed his plastic spoon with his small hands (Sehun was starting to hate the way they looked so chubby) and started playing with the food in his bowl, before bringing up a scoop to his mouth and inhaling it out of spite. He preferred to eat (how ironic because he was literally eating one) rather than associating himself with the dumb and dumber. He would leave it up to you guys to decide that who is dumb and who is dumber.

“Sehunnie~” Sehun looked up from the bowl filled with towards his mother – Yes he decided to call Chen his mother. Any problem? Come fight him!

“Aww~ Look at him eating like a big boy. Do you want appa to feed you?” His mother- Chen asked him while finally, finally pulling him out of his baby chair. To be very honest, Sehun was not happy with the way Chen addressed to him as appa because the latter totally saw him as his mother. Yup. There was no other possibility. He gave Chen a sulky pout and rested his head on his shoulder because damn he can’t even protest against that.

“He is still sleepy.” His father commented while looking up from his newspaper before flashing him a smile. Sehun watched with hooded eyes, as Xiumin placed down his newspaper to take a sip from his coffee and really hoped that he would get to have some of that drink in his system too soon. He was too busy enviously watching his father’s action that he failed to notice what Chen was doing. His mother had innocently replaced his baby chair with an actual chair and was currently parking his down on the chair next to his permanent headache(s). The baby watched with narrowed eyes as Jongin turned his face to examine his small figure before rolling his eyes at him.

! I will claw those eyes out if you dared to roll them at me one more time.

“What’s wrong with this baby’s face?” Jongin inquired with a brow raised in indignation when he registered Sehun’s go-kill-yourself expression. Not like he was afraid of it. His brother’s Sehunnie has that expression on his chubby face all the time; he looked kind of adorable, but Jongin was never going to admit that. Not in a thousand years…not even in million.

Surprise me for once and say something intelligent, Kim Jongin!

“Baekhyun said it’s his resting face,” Chen replied with the shrug of his shoulders and pinched Sehun’s cheeks when the latter released a sleepy yawn while balling up his small adorable hands.

Of course, my cheeks can’t have a day’s rest, can they?

“You mean his resting -face?” Jongin deadpanned and unceremoniously poked the baby’s cheek when he heard his best friend cackling. He was surprised when one of the small, balled hands came up to slap his hand away. He was even more surprised when the small bundle of joy – note his sarcasm please – in Chen’s hands threw him a sharp glare. Sehun would have really loved to slap Jongin across his face like he had done on his first day of arrival, but there was a more deadly weapon