Hello guys! I'm back, but not for long lol I apologize for not updating for so long, university's been a big to me haha. But anyways, I hope you guys enjoy the update :D

It's been weeks since what has happened at the club. My plan's finally succeeded, I've finally made her feel the same way, I felt that night. That night where it made me the person I am today, the person who hid this sick intentions. Who did horrible things to women, just for revenge. Seeing Irene cry, seeing her hurt, and seeing her heart broken into pieces were the things I wanted the most. Those were my intentions in the first place, and now that had happened, it should make me happy. Seeing those tears from her should bring me happiness, it should. But, it didn't. None of those feelings were there. When she left me, after she had slapped me, I felt an ache inside and particularly my chest. 

For the first time, I felt pain after I revealed my real intentions. When I did that to women in the past, it always felt great. But, this didn't make me feel good about it. Instead of great, I felt like something had stabbed me, right into my chest. What happened to me? Why did I feel that way? I should be happy and proud of myself, but I'm not. I wasn't happy. When she walked away from me with those tears in her eyes, I felt this emotion that didn't feel good. I didn't feel good seeing her cry, not like the past women I did this to. In the past, I felt accomplished doing this to women, but this didn't make me feel that. I don't love her, I can't love her. Love doesn't exist to me, it hasn't in a long time and it most definitely can't possibly exist, just because of one woman. Loving her was my darkest thought. I don't love anyone, that one night during high school, made me a numb, cold-hearted person and I intend to stay that way. 

I haven't seen Irene since that night, I know she's avoiding me. I went to her workplace, several times and Jieun would tell me that she wasn't here. Even though, I saw her presence in the cafe. I know she's definitely avoiding me. Another questionable thing is that, what the hell was I doing at her workplace. I'm done with her, I'm playing pretend. Why do I still want to see her? What the hell were you thinking, Kang Seulgi? You're done with her, you don't have anything to do with her anymore. Why do you still care about her? That's right, why do I still care about her. I called it all off, didn't I? I already told her that I don't love her, never have and never will. 

Those funny feelings I had with her, was nothing related to love. Was it? Those fluttering feelings and jealousy whenever she's with her significant other, they weren't love, right? Those unfamiliar feelings I felt only with her, it wasn't love, right? Or was it? I was in love with Irene, wasn't I? I was in love with her. She was the only woman, who has ever made me felt such things. I was in love with her......No, Seulgi no. You don't love her, you don't love anyone. The thing you love to do the most, is hurt, women. Making them feel the things, you felt that night. You're doing fine without love and you're better off without it. You don't need that disgusting thing.  

God, this voice in my head is killing me. I want it to go away, I want it to stop making me weak and powerless. Go away, just go away. That visit to Dr.Moon about those funny feelings, but instead of telling what they were, he told me to figure it out myself. Only I will know these feelings. How am I supposed to figure it out, when I don't even know what they meant in the first place. They just happen to appear for the first time, I saw Irene. The idea of me loving her is still absurd to me, again, I don't love her and I don't love anyone. My heart died a long time ago, I full of hatred, and I don't have any ounce of love on me. I don't love her, I don't.

"Mr.Kang, the investors are here." My secretary's voice killed my thoughts. I give her a nod and stand up. I then follow her out to the meeting room.

XXXXX

The meeting was dull and repetitive. To be honest, I wasn't even listening to the investors, my mind was constantly wandering around. I don't feel like myself at all, for the past weeks. I've felt a lot of pain in my life, but this pain hurts the most. For the first time ever, I felt this aching pain seeing a woman cry. For the first time ever, I felt bad for hurting someone, who really loved me. And for the first time ever, there's this thing that wants me to apologize. No Seulgi, a cold, heartless person like you has never said sorry to anyone before, and that woman isn't going to make you bend your morals and ask for her forgiveness. That's right, a cold, heartless person like me doesn't and never apologizes to anyone. A woman can't make me go against my morals and apologize, nobody can. I'm done with her, she's nothing to me and I don't care about her. I don't care if Bogum finds out, it has nothing to do with me anymore. 

Those feelings I felt whenever I was with Irene, were just lies. They were fake, they don't exist. That's right, Seulgi, those feelings were there to trick you. To make you stop your elaborate plan. Don't listen to them, they weren't real and they'll never be. This voice in my head just wouldn't go away, would it? This voice inside my head has been with me ever since I was young. It told me to do things to people, it told me to be a bad person and it told me to believe that. It had constantly fought with the good voice inside of my head and it won every time. Now, I listen to everything this voice tells me, I'm its slave. Hurting people without any regret at all and making them cry without feeling bad. It made me hate love and everything and anything that has to do with it.

It made me feel that I don't deserve love. It made me believe that is a stupid thing that does nothing but hurt people. It made me believe all of those things until this woman came into my life. This woman who made me felt things at the first time, I laid eyes on her. She made my world stopped spinning. when she first walked towards me. She made me felt as if there were only, the two of us there at that moment. She made me felt this exhilarating feeling, when she first kissed me, something I never experienced with any woman before her. That kiss, which led us to do something more than that, it led to her first time, our first time. That fact made me very surprised; a woman incredibly beautiful like her, has never done something we did that night before, not even with her boyfriend. 

After that day, I kept trying to do everything, just to see her. I wanted to make her fall for me because she was my new target. I did everything to make her love me and I did everything to make her give me my heart. That was the plan, but as I spent time with her, I started to feel this fluttering feeling when I was with her. I didn't feel that with any of the past women. I started to feel these confusing and unfamiliar feelings with her. I felt my heart skipping so many beats when I was with her. I felt jealous whenever other men looked at her and even when her boyfriend had his arms around her. Something I've never felt with anyone before, only her. For the first time, I wanted to show my world to someone and wanted to share my interests with someone. For the first time, I wanted to stop this scheme and put everything down, just for her. But, I didn't, I ignored all the right thoughts and followed the voice in my head. 

I let the voice in my head control me, I let it take over me and I let it make do things, the good voice wouldn't ever approve of. I listened to everything this voice tells me to do, even if it meant hurting other people. I'd still do it, without feeling bad or regretting my actions. Never once, have I felt that. But, hurting Irene felt different, I felt as if my heart had stopped beating when she walked away. I felt as if my heart had come back and broke into pieces, seeing her cry, because of me. I felt as if I was stabbed countless of times in the chest when she told me that she really loved me that night, I told her my true intentions. Again, I've never felt this way with any woman before, and why must it be now? Why must it be her? Why does it have to be her, that made me felt such ways? I don't love her, I don't do love.

Love is full of disappointments and pain. That's right, Seulgi. Love is a bad thing and that's why you should always steer clear of it. There's no way that I am letting you give into that venomous thing. Remember what I told you, everything you felt with that girl, were all lies and nothing but lies. Trust me. Get out of my head, stop giving me this headache. Do you like seeing me suffer? No, of course, I don't. That's why we make other people suffer, together. Now that we're done with her, let's look for another one. I'm its slave, again.

XXXXX

Lunchtime rolls around and I barely finished my meal. I feel sick to my stomach, I haven't had the appetite for anything. Ever since that night, I couldn't sleep properly, I couldn't eat or focus on anything. Every day felt dull and, there was nothing to look forward to. Back then, I look forward to seeing Irene every day and now that everything's over, my life is boring. Without her, I'm bored. I'm living day by day, like a dead person. I tried calling her, but it would always go to voicemail. I want to hear her voice, I want to see her. Stop thinking about her, you're done with her. She's nothing to you anymore, just move on. Stop caring about her. I should stop caring and thinking about her, we have nothing to do with each other anymore. Stop thinking about her, those feelings were lies. As I type in an important document into my laptop, I hear a ruckus outside the hall. 

"No, sir. You can't enter, Mr.Kang is busy." I hear Yura say.

"I don't care, I want to see that jerk and give him a piece of my mind!" That voice sounds oddly familiar. I stand up and the door suddenly bursts open. "Hey, Kang!" Before I could utter any word, I find myself on the ground, with a stinging pain on my cheek. 

"What the hell was that for, Bogum?!" I get up on my feet and touch my cheek. Damn, that was a hard punch. He grabs my collar and I'm forced to look at him. His expression screams anger.

"That was for being an , and this is for doing things behind my back, with my fiance." He then swings his fist across my face, making me lose my balance a bit. 

"What are you talking about?" I ask as I try to stand properly. 

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, don't play dumb." I just stand there, in silence. Perhaps, he knows what I did to Irene. "You know, all my life I've been looking for the right woman to spend the rest of my life with. Now that I've found her, I was happy. I've always wanted to be a loving husband and a great father, that's what I wanted." Why is he telling me this? I don't care what he wants, he can have her now. I'm done playing with her.

"Then marry her, you knew what I did to her. Marry her then, I'm done with her." He mockingly scoffs and yet, another fist lands on my face. Bogum grabs my collar tightly, making me face him. I could feel more anger radiating from him. 

"You know ever since the moment I saw you looking at Irene, there was something going on. I could feel that something was going on, between the two of you that night at the masquerade ball. She was always nervous and trembling, whenever you were around. That night, when I got down on my knees and proposed to her, I knew she was hesitating, because of you. But, in the end, she said yes anyway. Do you realize how happy I was when I knew that my dream of sharing my life with someone I love forever, was about to come true? Do you know how happy I was when I saw her in that white dress? Do you know how happy I was when I know that I'll get to call my wife, forever? And you know how happy I was, imagining the two of us playing with our future children?" I can see a lone tear streaming down his cheeks. Why is he telling me this? Why is he telling all of this to me? What does that suppose to make me feel? Guilty? Sad?

"Why the hell are you telling me, all of this? What the hell am I supposed to do with all of this information? If you want to marry her, then do it. You're engaged to her, aren't you? If you want her to be the mother of your children, then do it. What's stopping you? I'm done with her, I have nothing to do with her anymore." With that said, a hard fist went across my cheek, again. I could feel the amount of blood in my mouth and Bogum grabs me by the collar again, he looks like he could kill me within seconds.

"How the hell do you expect me to do that, when I'm no longer engaged to her? And how the do you expect me to do that when she's carrying someone else's child?!" He pushes me hard, making me stumble. I fix myself and look at him. He is heaving, hard. He looks so angry, I try to rewind back to what he just said. I must've heard it wrong.

"What did you just say?" Another punch lands on my face, making me fall down. I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand, his punches are that powerful to make my mouth bleed. I get up feet and face him.

"She gave the ring back to me. I realized that she never loved me, I was never more than just a very good friend to her. The person whom she loves is you. The person whom she wants is you. The person who is the father of the child, she carrying is you, not me and it will never be me." I feel the sadness in his tone, I just stand there, in shock. This can't be true, she can't be pregnant. Irene's not pregnant. No, no she can't be.

"You're lying, I'm not the father of the child she's carrying. I'm not, you're lying to me." 

"If you're not the father, then who is the hell could it be, if it's not you?" I stand in silence. "She would never sleep around. I never had with her and I was her fiance. You're the only person she had slept with. Even if I want the child to be mine, I can't. I want her to be pregnant with my child, but instead, she's pregnant with yours." I just stand there, unable to say anything more. She's pregnant? With my child? No, she can't be. No, I don't believe it. I press the intercom on my desk.

"Yura, get security to my room right now." 

"You know, I should hate you for taking my fiance away, and I do. I should hate Irene for doing things with you behind my back, the things she and I were supposed to be doing together. But, she did them with you. I should hate her, but I don't. Not when I love her with all of my hearts. Even if she couldn't return the same amount of love I have for her." I just listen to him talk. I see the pain and disappointment in his eyes.

Minutes later, the securities and Yura come into my office and Bogum out. I then tell Yura to cancel every meeting I have later. I'm not in the mood to see or talk to anyone. Not when I've just been told that a woman is pregnant with my child, I still don't believe it. There's no way in hell that I could impregnate a woman. We were always careful everytime we did it, how is that even possible? I didn't impregnate her. I'm not ready to be a father, I hate love. How could I give the love never had to a child? I'm not the father, I am not the father. I didn't impregnate a woman, no I didn't. No, no I didn't. I clutch on the sides of my head. No, no it's not true. It's not true. It's all l