"Are you sure this the right place?" Byunghee asked for the tenth time already and slumped on his seat next to the driver's seat which was occupied by Seungho.

          Seungho grumbled under his breath as he crooned his neck to look around the small road surrounded by forest left and right to them.

          "Are we lost?" Sangbae asked from behind while his hand was clutching onto the water bottle trophy he got. His heart beat fast everytime he thought of the possibility that this fake trophy was a gift from Cheolyong. Who else? The other four ex-members of MBLAQ all denied it came from them.

          And then, there was Hajin. Hajin who didn't give them a direct answer but… Cheolyong was Hajin's samchoon. And Heojun… Although Heojun didn't recognize the so called uncle of Hajin, Heojun gave his words that the mysterious man with Hajin looked so familiar, look almost like Cheolyong. Although… Cheolyong supposedly already dead.

          "Jinwoon could be tricking us. You know he's good at covering his track." Sanghyun voiced out, leaning his head down on Changsun's shoulder while yawning. The journey was damn long and now they were somewhere deep in the mountain and definitely going deeper. "I just hope we won't get stuck in the middle of nowhere."

          "Jinwoon might be good, but I'm better. I bought that tracking chip with high prize. I might even get punished for purchasing such thing from black market." Seungho mumbled. "Keep this only between us."

          "Of course." Byunghee turned to the three men on the backseat. "Can someone hold him? My arms hurt." He asked while slightly moving sleeping Hajin in his arms.

          "I can." Sangbae offered, pushing Changsun who was sitting in the middle and ignoring the protest from squished Sanghyun and took the little kid from Byunghee. Hajin whined a bit but drifted into his deep sleep again once he was made comfortable on Sangbae's laps.

          "Hey, that looks like a house." Sanghyun pointed, looking out of the window. "And another. Oh wow. There are people living here." He commented in amazement as he started to roll down the window, poking his head out to get a better view and smiled when children that was playing by the roadside waving at him and running slightly as if trying to chase after the car, he could tell it was a rare sight to see a luxurious car and outsiders in this village considering how far away it was located from small town.

          "I can see why. It's cool here and the air is fresh." Sangbae said after rolling down the window on his side. "It's so nice here."

          "But it so secluded. We don't even have signal now." Byunghee grumbled. "Do your pricey tracking device work?"

          Seungho glared at Byunghee's mocking remark. "It's not. It need connection."

          "Here is like a whole new world. Are you sure we're still in Korea?" Changsun chuckled at his own silly thought. "Hey, look, it's a food stall. We should ask them."

          Seungho pulled over and turned to the backseat. "What should we ask?"

          Changsun looked at Sanghyun while Sanghyun sighed, rolling his eyes and took out his phone.

          "What are you doing? There's no signal here." Changsun asked with weird look.

          Sanghyun smirked and pointed to his temple, tapping slightly while showing his phone to Changsun. There was picture of Cheolyong displayed on the screen. "We show them this. Or this." He swiped and the picture was replaced by picture of Jinwoon. "And ask if they have seen them."

          "Well, goodluck then." Changsun waved.

          Sanghyun opened the door and dragged Changsun with him. "You're coming with me." He ignored the whining coming from his back and bowed politely to the owner of the foodstall after passing through a few villagers sitting around the stall for evening drink. "Hello."

          "Oh hello, young men. What brings you here?" An old man with gray hair and eyebrows looked at both Changsun and Sanghyun with weird look, probably curious on the reason of their visit here. "Our village rarely got visitors." He explained kindly.

          "We're looking for someone. Have you seen him?" Sanghyun showed Cheolyong's pictured but the man was frowning and shaking his head after a long look. "What about him?"

          "Owh! Jinwoonie…" The man chuckled. "Of course we know that blabber mouth. He's still young but he nags like an old lady. You just missed him. He was here just now to buy lunch."

          "Oh… How did you know him, may I ask."

          "He bought a house up in the mountain more than two months ago if I wasn't mistaken. That house had long been abandoned. And he is too young to live away from city. All of us bound to know him." The man told.

          Sanghyun and Changsun exchanged a glance before Changsun was the one to speak this time. "But… He is living in Seoul."

          "Oh that. Yes, he still is. He said, he'll need to settle down all the work in Seoul before moving here. He still came by a lot though."

          "He didn't say anything." Changsun mumbled but shut his mouth when Sanghyun nudged him on the arm.

          "Well, can we know which way to get to his house?" Sanghyun asked again.

          "Just go straight. You will pass by a bridge and just 2km ahead the bridge you'll see the house. "It's just quite far from the other houses but it is easy to find."

          "Oh okay then. Thank you so much for the help. Anyway what are you selling?" Sanghyun pulled Changsun with him and looked over all of the food and traditional cakes selled at the stall, almost drooling as they hardly found such traditional cake back in the city.

          "I am so buying the whole stall."

########################

"This cakes are work of art!" Changsun yelled excitedly and took another piece, savoring it with closed eyes.

          "Yea and it's so cheap! I can totally understand why Jinwoon want to move here." Sanghyun commented and leaned forward as he clung on the driver seat. "It won't be a problem with NIS, right hyung?"

          "I don't think so." Seungho shrugged his shoulder, focusing on the road as their car cross the bridge. "Oh wow… What a nice view." He breathed out and pulled over to the side. There was river down below the bridge. It was quite a height but the river was wide and clear and so beautiful with green trees all along the side of the river. If only it wasn't too high, he would have jumped into the river just for the sake of it.

          "Why do you stop?" Byunghee asked, feeding Seungho another piece of the cake despite the latter already free from handling the steering wheel.

          "Just to get a picture." Seungho grinned and jumped out of the car, followed by the others. Even Hajin who had already woken up somewhere in their journey and was enjoying the cake while sitting on Byunghee's laps.

          "Ya! We're not here for a vacation!" Byunghee complained but sighed in defeat when Hajin started bouncing and wanting to go out for a picture as well. "Fine!" He threw his hands up in the air and went to join Seungho who was taking a selfie with Changsun photobombing from the side.

          Byunghee chuckled at the silly faces Changsun made while leaning on the rail.

          Seungho complained when he looked on the picture and saw Changsun spoiling his picture. He was about to complained more when he saw something below the bridge and down on the large beautiful river. He zoomed into the picture and tilted his head. It was definitely a person.

          Keeping back the phone inside his pocket, he put his hand over the railing, looking down on the river and saw the same person in his picture was sitting just by the riverbank and in front of the person was a fishing rod. Squinting his eyes, Seungho crooned his neck trying to get clearer view and deduced that it was definitely a man.

          "Are we going yet?" Seungho jumped a bit when Sangbae clapped on his shoulder from behind. "What are you looking at?" Sangbae put his hand over his eyes and stared down there. "Oh… Must be a local fishing around here."

          "If we have time, we can fish here. It looks like a good spot." Changsun said while taking a picture of Sanghyun who was posing like a model of a magazine.

          "Then, who is going to put on the bait? You?" Byunghee teased, carrying Hajin in his arm so the little kid could see the view better.

          "Eww!!! Never!!!" Changsun shouted, his voice echoing and Seungho wondered if the man fishing down there could actually hear them as the man moved slightly and was pulling off the round straw hat he was wearing maybe searching for the source of the sound.

          "Hey! Take my picture!" Sanghyun pouted.

          "Done." Changsun handed back Sanghyun's phone.

          "We should get going. It's already five. It will get darker and dangerous to travel through this narrow road." Seungho called to his dongsaeng. They definitely listen well to Seungho eventhough Seungho wasn't their leader or anything.

          They continued their journey, but this time in silence as they had went through quite a long journey already and all of them were full and sleepy and just want a place to crash and sleep.

          It wasn't long until they finally reach the house and the sun was almost setting by the time they were there. They parked right in front of the house and admired the house for a good one minute. It looked like a vacation chalet made out of expensive log. So big and beautiful and it made people just want to stay here and spend the rest of the life here. An ideal house. There was a car parked at the side of the house. The hot pink hello kitty car no doubt belong to Jinwoon. As they walked closer, they noticed the front corridor had a set of coffee table with two chairs and in the middle of the table lied a set of chess piece made out of glass which was half played.

          "Eh? What are you guys doing here?"

          All five men and Hajin jumped, startled by Jinwoon suddenly popping up from behind the car, looking at them with an inquiring jerk of brow.

          "Well, you sneaked out of NIS watch." Seungho pointed out. "I, as the NIS is responsible to find out your whereabout."

          "Oh that." Jinwoon chuckled as he walked up to the others, crouching down to say "Hi" to Hajin who replied back sleepily. "I wasn't doing anything wrong. Just settling down to a life I have always wanted."

          "Jinwoon." Byunghee called and Jinwoon stood back up and met Byunghee's eyes. Those two dark orbs were staring right into his soul. "Hajin said he met his samchoon."

          Jinwoon smiled nervously. "Samchoon? Which samchoon?"

          "His samchoon." Byunghee was always went straight to the point when it came to Cheolyong.

          "My samchoon!" Hajin piped up cheerfully. "He promise to buy me ice cream again next time he come for me."

          Jinwoon looked down on Hajin before his eyes flew to Byunghee again. "You can't possibly think he meant Cheolyong, right?"

          "That is what we want to know." Seungho interrupted. "Be honest with us, Jinwoon. Is he… Still alive?"

          Jinwoon sighed. "He died in the explosion. What else you expect me to tell? All of you were there when it happened."

          The other five men exchanged a look. Surely they were there… But Cheolyong had exceeded their expectation way too many time already.

          "And why would he hide if he really is still alive? See, I don't hide." Jinwoon continued. "And look, I have no trouble at all living here in South. Even Onew lives here as if he is part of South."

          There was a long silence until Seungho was the one to break it. "You're right." He turned to the other four male. "We should head back before it's too dark."

          "Yea, you guys should. The road is dangerous when it is dark." Jinwoon ushered the others and waved goodbye as he watched Seungho's car leaving his house area. His smile dropped and he turned when he heard crunching dried leaves under footsteps approaching him from behind.

          Turning around, he met eyes with Cheolyong who looked back at him with a look that give no chance for Jinwoon to read. Cheolyong put down the bucket he had been holding containing two large fish for their dinner and he leaned his fishing rod on the side of the house.

          "Don't you feel that they have right to know you're still alive?" Jinwoon asked, taking the bucket and brought it into the house, pausing for a while as he moved to the coffee table at the side of the corridor and moved his black knight while Cheolyong washed his muddy feet before trotting after Jinwoon into their shared house but not before moving his own white queen to savor the black knight Jinwoon just moved. He smirked. Jinwon was not letting him win easy but he always somehow winning over the other.

          "By the way, I bought the food already."

          Cheolyong nodded and rummaging through the plastic bag but grimaced when Jinwoon was suddenly behind him and pinched his busy hands. "Go and wash up first!" Jinwoon nagged.

          Cheolyong rolled his eyes and went into his room to do just as his friend told him. It took him only ten minutes and he was waltzing back into the kitchen with his still wet hair, leaving trail of puddle behind him which called another scolding from Jinwoon.

          "Hey! Dry up properly or you'll catch a flu." Jinwoon went into Cheolyong's room and came out with a white fluffy towel, dumping it over Cheolyong's head and rubbing Cheolyong's hair dry vigurously. His movement stopped as his eyes trailed over the burnt scar over Cheolyong's nape which was in clearer view as Cheolyong chose to wear a wide V-neck shirt tonight. He winced subconsciously until a pair of hands cupping his cheeks and his eyes locked with Cheolyong's brown orbs.

          "It's just scar. It's no longer painful." Cheolyong recited like he had always did since he met back with Jinwoon not too long ago. But it seemed that it didn't convince Jinwoon, so he added, "In fact, I like this scar. It is a prove that finally I am the one protecting you. Remember what I said when I pulled you up from falling out of the building?"

          Jinwoon nodded. "You said, no more. You won't let me die. At least not me."

          "We both lost a lot, our family, our friends, our past life. And I don't want to lose you too. Not you."

          Jinwoon couldn't smile. He should have smile. He had been wanting to hear such honesty from Cheolyong since the very beginning but he couldn't because Cheolyong was not smiling as well. Something was just not right. Since the day Cheolyong came back again, this friend of his had changed. He would rather have the Cheolyong that hurt him with lies instead of this Cheolyong who acted like he had given up on life itself. Every act showed how discouraged Cheolyong was. He merely letting the flow of life bring him somewhere. Like a puppet without a soul.

          "Did you met Onew?" Cheolyong pulled away from Jinwoon, changing the direction of their conversation and plopped down onto the dining chair while Jinwoon pulled the chair opposite to him. The fish Cheolyong caught were left abandoned in the sink, most probably would be their breakfast for tomorrow.

          Jinwoon took out the food from the plastic back and arranged them on the table. The table was a perfect size for just both of them. "I did. I gave him the letter. He read it in front of me and cry. Well, not exactly cry but he look like he was about to." Jinwoon snickered before laughing. "I bet Jiman wrote some cheezy things in the letter."

          "Well, he deserved to know that Jiman is not as bad as he thought. Jiman is his father after all. I wouldn't want seeing their relationship fall apart. I know they miss each other." Cheolyong shrugged, sinking his fangs into a fried chicken drumstick.

          "Which bring me back to my question. Shouldn't we let them know you're still alive?" Jinwoon asked carefully, watching Cheolyong's expression closely but the other held a perfect poker face.

          "I just got back from North, Jinwoon." Cheolyong stated, leaning back on his chair and pushing his plate away, losing appetite. "And guess how many people I kill just before the president? I am not the maknae they want to see. I'm not the person they want me to be. I'm a killer. A monster. They are better off without me."

          Jinwoon frowned in disapproval. After the explosion where Cheolyong had saved Jinwoon from falling off the building and shielded Jinwoon with his own smaller body, Jinwoon had sent severely injured Cheolyong under the care of the former Ruby who are always on his side. Because he knew, with such injuries, legal medical treatment won't help.

          Cheolyong took one month to heal and once he did, he went missing, leaving Jinwoon only the note that said, 'I'm going to North, Jiman need me. I'll be back.' The only reason Jinwoon hadn't abandoned everything behind and flew to North for Cheolyong was the last sentence of Cheolyong promising him that Cheolyong would come back again. He waited for one month until Cheolyong suddenly appeared by the former Ruby fort, smiling as if there was nothing happened. And the next day, the whole Korea was shaken with the news of the assassination of the North president. No doubt, work of Cheolyong and Jiman together.

          "You're not a monster, Cheolyong." Jinwoon tried to reach for Cheolyong's hand across the table but Cheolyong evaded and put both his hands on his laps, fiddling with his fingers.

          "You have never killed before. What would you know.." Cheolyong stood up, the chair screeching against the floor and he tried to left but Jinwoon shot up just after and grabbed his elbow.

          Jinwoon's hand trailed down until he held onto Cheolyong's hand, feeling how Cheolyong was shaking and trembling. "If I know you would come back like this, I would have chase after you, stop you and keep you with me no matter what."

          "Yea…" Cheolyong whispered regretfully. "I once thought I maybe would have able to stop if you held me back."

          Jinwoon sighed, feeling the words hurting him more than intended and moved closer, bending down to rest his forehead against Cheolyong's shoulder, his fingers tightening around Cheolyong's hand. "You're not a monster. You kill for a reason."

          "It's still murder. My hands are already dirty."

          "No, they are clean." Jinwoon protested.

          Cheolyong didn't say anything as he used his free hand to pat on Jinwoon's hair in comfort.

          "And your touch is gentle and kind." Jinwoon added. "There is no way you're a monster."

          Another minute of silence until Cheolyong whispered, "Thank you."

          But their moment was rudely interrupted when the front door flung opened. They didn't lock the door as the area around this house was fairly safe as they are way secluded from people but then, who the hell?

          Jinwoon and Cheolyong jumped away from each other, their back met as their eyes sharpened when the reflex they have been trained their whole life kicked in but only for a second when they saw five man and a boy barging into the house.

          "H-hyungs…" Cheolyong whispered.

          "Samchoon!" Hajin exclaimed, running and throwing himself into Cheolyong's arms who in turn pick him up and carried the child easily. "I missed you." Hajin hugged tightly on Cheolyong's neck, kissing Cheolyong's cheek with a happy giggle.

          "So, you are still alive." Byunghee spoke, his eyes glaring in anger. He was surprised himself with the boiling rage bubbling inside his blood. He thought for sure if Cheolyong still alive, he would have break down in tears of happiness, but no. He was damn angry right at this moment.

          "H-hyung. I-I…" Cheolyong swallowed loudly and felt Hajin's small hands cupping his cheeks and glad that Hajin drift his eyes away from Byunghee's and meeting Hajin's own worried eyes. He offered a small smile to his nephew and let Jinwoon to care for Hajin before he stepped up, inhaling deeply to gather his courage but each step he took make him felt smaller under the stare of those people who were important in his life. He only stopped when he was right in front of Seungho. Unable to held the stare he got, Cheolyong dropped his eyes to the floor, looking like a child being scolded.

          "You are alive." This time it was Seungho, though his tone was a bit softer than Byunghee's. "What should I do know, Cheolyong? Should I inform my fellow NIS? And get you behind the bar? Huh?" Cheolyong flinched at Seungho's cold tone. "Is that what you think I would do? Is that why you pretend death?"

          Cheolyong shook his head but he couldn't find the courage to look up and answer. That was until he felt fingers clutching on the material of the front of his shirt, yanking him to face a very angry Byunghee.

          "Why, Cheolyong, why?" Byunghee shook Cheolyong a bit and he was about to say a lot of hurtful things that he didn't even mean but then he saw a drop of tear escaped Cheolyong's eyes and he saw the deep longing Cheolyong never had shown before and all of his anger just vanished, he, himself felt like crying as he tugged onto the younger until Cheolyong collapsed inside his embrace, clinging onto him as if asking him for protection, for comfort. Something he would give readily either Cheolyong wanted it or not.

          "I'm sorry." Cheolyong whispered, clinging onto Byunghee, feeling like he finally found a piece to fill in the empty space inside his heart after such a long time. "I'm so sorry." He was sorry. He was sorry for everything. For keeping secret of him being alive. For choosing to go to North, to Jiman instead of going back to his hyungs. For being alive after the bombing. For meeting them and care for them. For even being born in the first place.

          Byunghee gritted his teeth and his arms tightened around Cheolyong as he listen to the younger boy broke down in his hold. "You stupid. Idiot. Idiot. Idiot. You are such an idiot." Byunghee sighed. "You should have just come back to us instead of living in hiding." Byunghee pulled away when he was sure the maknae and he, himself had calmed down. He smiled adoringly when Cheolyong wiped away the tears and sniffled with his red nose. "Will you come back now?" He asked softly.

          Cheolyong looked up to meet Byunghee's eyes before he let his eyes trailed over to the other four men waiting patiently behind Byunghee. His one brow rose up when he saw Sangbae. Because of the shock overwhelming him just now, he didn’t noticed Sangbae was there too.

          "Hi, Cheolyong." Sangbae noticed the subtle look Cheolyong given him and stepped up, rounding his arms around Cheolyong for a few seconds and used that time to whispered close to Cheolyong's ears, "You should come back. We both know that is what you want." He pulled away with a smile. "Thanks for the trophy. I'll treasure it."

          Cheolyong smiled slightly, but there was something wrong in that smile, that wasn't a smile that came from heart. Cheolyong looked back to Jinwoon who was still holding on Hajin. "Hajin-ah." He called out to the small boy who tilted his head slightly. "Do you want to live with them, or with me?"

          Cheolyong's question startled all of them that Seungho grabbed onto the younger man's shoulders and turned him around to face him. "Cheolyong!" He hissed.

          "I can't go back." Cheolyong said calmly. There was conflict written all over his face but only for a second before he looked determined and sure of his decision. "If I can go back, then I would have the second I was healed from the explosion but I didn't." He pulled away from Seungho and stepped backwards, away from the reach of the others until his back met Jinwoon. Only then, he stopped. "There is no way I can go back. I made the decision, haven't I?" His whisper float around the air softly but stabbing sharply onto every heart inside the room. Cheolyong didn't wait long and ran to his room, slamming the door behind him.

          I just can't go back. Not anymore…