IX

___

There was nothing interesting in her room’s ceiling, but Byul can’t seem to help herself from staring at it. White and painted dull, and her eyes had dried from staring too long. What happened today was something she can’t tell whether it’s a dream come true or just another sign of an impending nightmare.

Not wanting to think about it too much, Byul listened to the pattern of Yongsun’s breathing; focused on the way her closed eyes twitched at moments, Byul knew that Yongsun was dreaming. She scanned her lover’s face from the mole on her brow, the soft light that came from the outside grazing her eyes, from the round cheeks, and to her thin lips – Byul focused on them all; memorized them. Yongsun was warm and Byul wanted to always feel her embrace.

Her lips and throat felt dry, and although she wanted to just stay on their shared bed, she had to come out.

“Is she asleep?”

Byul whipped her head towards the voice. It was almost ten in the evening, it was cold and she needed a glass of water so she went to the kitchen with her blanket by her shoulders. It was her grandmother who spoke whose arms were wrapped around its body. She sat by the living room, a cup of tea placed on the coffee table.

“Grandma… yes, she needs all the rest she can get.”

“That’s great. How about you, Byul? Can’t sleep?”

Byul took the glass of water and went towards her grandmother. She sat beside the older Moon as she placed her glass down and covered both of them with her blanket, in which Mrs. Moon hummed in satisfaction to show gratitude. “Yeah, a lot of things happened today, and I got thirsty.” Byul continued with a grin, which was a bad idea as her cheek stung and she hissed.

Mrs. Moon held her granddaughter’s cheek tenderly, a bruise already forming at the corner of Byul’s lip. “Does it still hurt, Byulie?”

Byul offered her grandmother the same smile she gave Yongsun as assurance, “A little, but it’ll heal. It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“My brave girl, Yongsun is so lucky to have you just as you’re lucky to have her.”

Byul leaned her head on the back rest with an evident twinkle in her eyes. Her mind filled with the image of the love of her life that’s currently sleeping at her bed, probably snoring softly with her chubby cheeks having that pink tint due to the fairly low temperature. The thought of knowing that she will be the first person Yongsun would be looking for the moment she opened her eyes. She breathed in and Mrs. Moon saw the calm in her granddaughter’s features, as if she was finally out of a cage that held her back – she was finally free.

They were in a comfortable silence, basked with the chilly temperature the night offered. The living room bathed in the white glow of the chandelier right at the middle of the ceiling – the only source of light other than the ones on the halls. Byul broke the silence, “Father is really gone for good?”

“Yes, and I’ll make sure that he’s not going to bother you again, both of you.”

Byul took her glass and took a sip from it, moistening her almost drying lips. She held unto her glass, her eyes trained on the disturbed water. “He was so angry…”

Mrs. Moon looked at her granddaughter. In her eyes, Byul looked so small in that moment. Sad and disappointed for the man her father has become. She knows her son loves Byulie, he just didn’t know the right way of showing it, for it was his love that broke him. “He is. People say that love can make you mad, but that’s not true. Your father loved your mother, but his obsession of her was greater than the love he had on his heart, and so, he got hurt. Sometimes, we do the wrong things when we’re hurt, and I failed your father for I wasn’t able to guide him well.”

“I don’t want to be like him.”

Mrs. Moon wrapped her arms around Byul and planted a kiss on her forehead. “Oh, my sweet, beautiful granddaughter, you will never be like him. When we love a person, we make them happy. We make sure that they’re not in pain; we help them when it comes to the things that trouble them. If we see that they’re not happy with us anymore, that we’re holding them back from the happiness they deserve by being with us, we let them go. Love is such a beautiful thing, and the world should know more about it. You make Yongsun so happy, and I can see that she does the same for you, so both of you should hold on to that.”

“I love her, grandma, so much… There’s nothing else in the world that I’d wish for other than to make and see her happy, and keep her safe from the cruelty the world sometimes offer.” Byul uttered – her voice soft but firm.

“You will be fine, my child.”

Byul nodded. She brought her glass to and drank the remaining water in one go. She broke away from the hug and stood up and faced her grandmother. “I’m gonna go upstairs, now, grandma. Yongsun has the tendency of reaching out for warmth while she’s asleep even though she’s already warm herself.”

“Of course, and you need to rest, as well.” Replied grandma Moon while nodding.

“I could say the same for you. You should go to sleep, too. It’s late.”

Mrs. Moon hummed in response, “I will, after my tea.”

Byul nodded her head as she went towards the kitchen sink to wash her glass. She was a few steps from the stairs when her grandmother called for her.

“Byul…” She turned around fully,

“Hm?”

Byul saw how her grandmother took a breath in, her lips formed in a flat line before she spoke, “Would you like to see your mother?”

Byul gasped upon hearing the question – her mother. Such a taboo whenever her father was around. “See her?”

“Yes. You can ask her the questions you’ve been meaning to ask.”

Byul bit her lip, her eyes focused on the floor as if her choices can be seen there. “I… I’ll think about it…”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to, Byulie. You can take all the time you need to decide. Good night, child.”

“Good night, grandma.”

___

Byul opened the door to her room as quiet as possible, not wanting to wake the sleeping figure on her bed. After the frustration and sadness she’s set upon Yongsun, she didn’t have the heart to deprive her from the good night sleep she deserved.

Slowly, she crept under the covers, and as expected, as if Yongsun felt her there, Yongsun scooted closer to her. It’s amazing how Yongsun’s able to find her even with her eyes closed. She encircled her arm around the smaller girl’s waist as she pulled her much closer. Yongsun is her much needed warmth in a room that somehow felt so cold.

“Where’d you go…?” Yongsun croaked, her voice laced with sleep. Gruff, but Byul still found it cute nonetheless.

“Kitchen, I went down for a drink and I talked to grandma.” She replied. Her hand rubbed against Yongsun’s back in an affectionate manner. Yongsun buried her face on Byul’s neck as she set herself comfortably in a fetal position so Byul could spoon her better. “She… She asked me if I’d want to see my mother…”

Yongsun breathed, slow but steady. “Would you…?”

A few seconds of silence surrounded them, and the gears Byul’s head, troubled by the choice she needed to make, but Yongsun’s touch was all it took to cease the loud intrusive thoughts that decided to play around her mind immediately. Yongsun ran her hands towards Byul’s hips, scratching them lightly and the action soothed Byul’s troubled mind. “I’m not sure… Will you accompany me?”

“Hm… Of course. Always…”

That was enough for Byul. She gave Yongsun a kiss on the forehead before wrapping the blankets around their bodies properly. Byul closed her eyes that night, with a prayer. She was both thankful and hopeful. This is a feeling that she’d never want to disappear. “I love you…” She whispered, and she slept with a smile on her face, her heart happy.

Because an, “I love you, too…” is what Yongsun replied.

___

“So… he is gone for good?” It was Wheein, her words muffled by the cake she tried to put in whole, which was now having trouble chewing the whole thing. Hwasa poured her a glass of orange juice just in case, and she saw how Yongsun and Byul chuckled through her peripheral vision.

“Eat slowly, Whee. Nobody’s going to take that cake away from you.”

“And there are still a lot from where that came from. I don’t need you dying in my house due to suffocation.” Byul sat on the corner of the couch together with Yongsun who paid no mind to any personal space and Byul couldn’t care less. Yongsun was her girlfriend, they deserved moments like these.

As expected, Wheein choked and had to grab the glass of juice out of Hwasa’s hands and drank it all at once. She coughed as an effect, before trying to catch her breath. “Gee, thanks, Hwasa.”

“No problem.”

“Anyways, back to my question, unnie. Is your father gone for good?” Byul felt something touch her hand – Yongsun’s. It was tight, tighter, as if asking for something, scared of something that’s not even there. With it, she knew that whatever happened last night was still too much, especially for someone as sensitive as Yongsun.

Byul did what she thought was the best option at that moment, she smiled. She broke away from Yongsun’s touch and before the older girl could even react, she intertwined her hand with hers. “Yes, he won’t be bothering us anymore. He is gone for good and he is not coming back. He won’t be hurting anyone anymore, not me, and not Yongsun. I won’t let him.”

“We never liked him very much, even before Yongsun unnie came.” It was Hwasa this time, as she off the icing from her fingers.

“I… I don’t hate him, but I just can’t see him as a father, at least, not anymore after everything.” He could’ve been a loving father, Byul thought. Maybe he was, his emotions and feelings are just located in the wrong places which are why he can’t put it in his heart to accept her daughter for who she is. To accept the woman her daughter has chosen to love and be with for the rest of her life. “He loved me… I can feel that he does…”

Everyone kept silent, and Yongsun gave nothing but a reassuring squeeze, as if telling Byul that she understood her. That she’s there, and that if her father has failed to show her love the right way, Yongsun would be there to give her just that.

Byul felt a hand on her uninjured cheek, they were soft and a little cold, but it was comforting. Yongsun was looking at her with such adoration, her thumb her cheek with such tenderness together with a smile on her face. Byul felt like crying, she was too happy. Being with Yongsun, having Wheein and Hwasa there, it all felt too good to be true. But it is true, and she’s going to savour this moment. She’s going to make sure that such moments would never end.

___

Hwasa and Wheein left with their parting words being composed of, “The school’s missing its supreme council president.” And, “Everyone misses you two.”

They bid their goodbyes with a good note until it was only Byul and Yongsun who was left in the living room. Byul took Yongsun’s hand with hers and led her towards the couch, back to the place where they were on minutes ago. She pulled Yongsun into hers, making her straddle her, her hand placed carefully on the older girl’s waist, while the other hand played with Yonsgun’s hair affectionately.

“What’s wrong?” Yongsun asked, her arms resting around Byul’s neck, her hands scratching Byul’s scalp in a soothing manner.

“Nothing’s wrong…” Byul’s voice was soft, as if the calmness would be broken if she talked any louder, “…everything is perfect.”

“I see…” Yongsun hummed. She leaned into Byul’s slightly tensed frame and buried her face into her lover’s neck, which made Byul hug her a little tighter. She hummed a song with such a soft tune, matching it with Byul’s desire for calm, and it helped. She felt how Byul relaxed into hers, breathed as if a huge weight was finally lifted off of her chest.

“I’ve decided to go meet to my mom…” Byul breaks the silence.

“Okay…”

“I’m ready. Come with me?”

Yongsun planted tiny soft kisses into Byul’s neck and she felt the girl shiver deliciously with her touch. “Of course.”

“We’re okay, right?” Byul sighs into her hair. Yongsun sat upright, her eyes searching for Byul’s playful ones. She held unto Byul’s shoulders and planted a chaste kiss into her lover’s lips. Byul gave off the same innocence; light touches yet filled with love only for Yongsun. Yongsun pulled away with smile on her face that Byul found ethereal, together with the afterglow that Yongsun radiated due to such elation. “Yes. Yes, Byul, we’re okay.”

And they will always be.

___

A/N: omg, hi.