SE XVII

Everything was quiet. Nothing but Byul's breathing can be heard as she stared up their ceiling. She hasn't left the house and her bed ever since morning, and it's already past noon. Her eyes were red from crying and hair disheveled from tossing too much ㅡ she was a mess. 

"I can't believe it..." she croaked, and slowly, she got up from her bed and went towards her closet. Opening it, she took a deep breath before looking at her clothes that were perfectly hanged; some were merely tossed and combined altogether. 

She turned to look at the other side of the room – Yongsun's. The moment she did, her heart clenched once more. She felt like crying again, but held it in. "This is the right thing to do." 

Yongsun will be home by three, Byul has plenty of time to gather her clothes, and herself by then. Without much of protest, she grabbed her travel bag and placed all of her clothes there, not minding one bit whether they're arranged properly or not. The faster she collects her clothes and belongings, the faster she can leave there and not be interrogated by Yongsun – not to see her girlfriend hurt because of her for the second time around.

She has no idea on how to tell Yongsun everything without her breaking down and to see Yongsun with pain in her eyes. 

She ran around the room, placing everything she owns in her bag in a hurry. Just as when she was about to zip her bag – she was all ready to go – she heard footsteps getting inevitably louder, and it neared their bedroom door. She had her fingers crossed by then, but with no luck, the door opened and she stood there, frozen in place. 

What she saw is what she dreaded to happen. A very confused Kim Yongsun was there, panting a little, maybe because of how she ran towards their room. 

She felt cold all of a sudden. Nervous. She felt the hair at the back of her neck stand, when Yongsun spoke. "What are you doing, Byul...?" 

Yongsun was a little breathless. She stared at Byul then her eyes travelled to the object at hand. "Where are you going? Why didn't you come to school? What are you doing..." she bombarded her questions after questions, and just then, Byul knew, she ed up. 

"I asked you a question, Byul..." Byul heard the emphasis on her name. She can hear the worry and the confusion from Yongsun's voice.

"I... " Yongsun looked at her expectantly, waiting for her explanations, and she would be lying if she said that it didn't hurt her to see Yongsun that way. "I'm going back to grandma's..."

Liar.

"S-She asked me if I could stay with her f-for a few weeks..."

Lies.

"She needed me... for something...", another lie. Byul was looking down – afraid to meet Yongsun's eyes, and yet something urged her to do so – when she did, she wished she didn't. 

Right there, Yongsun looked at her with clear eyes, as if searching for something in her own pair. She remained frozen, quiet and still, afraid that if she spoke another word, it would be a lie once more. She didn't want to lie to her again. 

"Is there something you're not telling me, Byul? Is there...?" Byul saw Yongsun's almost vulnerable state, Yongsun may be peculiar in her ways, but she always knew if something was wrong.

Byul cleared , then released a small laugh after, looking everywhere but Yongsun's. "O-Of course not, Yongsun-ah... There's nothing wrong..." and she resumed her forced laughter. She has started her lies, might as well get along with it. If not, something bad will happen.

Yet the worst will come if I continue. She debated, but brushed the thought off. This is her best decision for now. 

"A-Are you... are you lying to me?" Yongsun's brows, furrowed. Her eyes glassy, and her voice close to trembling. Byul panicked.

"No! No... What are you saying?" she laughed once more, to ease the tension, at least. She dropped her bag and slowly she goes, hugging Yongsun and keeping her in place in her embrace. "I told you the reason... didn't I? S-Stop saying that... Okay?" 

She felt arms encircle her waist, Yongsun hugged her back. Just as tight. Just as loving. Just as hopeful that everything was true.

Yongsun buried her face further into Byul’s shirt, her sobs barely stopping, and Byul would internally wince each time. She didn’t want this, God how she hated this. 

She breathed deeply, and her hands moved away from the embrace as it travelled upwards until it reached the back of Yongsun’s head, cradling her slowly, hoping it’d calm her girlfriend. 

After a series of “shhh’s”, cooing, and kisses a top of Yongsun’s hair; her crying died down. There were only series of sniffles every now and then. Byul firmly stood her ground as Yongsun went limp as she hugged her, the excessive crying must’ve exhausted her. 

“Hey...” Yongsun called suddenly, her voice hoarse and gruff, and as she looked up at her – eyes red and cheeks stained with tears – Byul wanted to tell her the truth, but couldn’t at the same time. So, she held Yongsun closer to hers as she hummed a response. 

“I’ll help you pack...” she said, and it took Byul by surprise. 

“There’s no need, Yong... I got it, okay?” Byul mustered the sweetest smile she could offer. It’s bad enough that she’s lying, she doesn’t need Yongsun to blindly help her along the lie that could hurt the both of them. 

“But–,” 

“Yongsun-ah...” Byul interjected immediately, “I got this, alright?” and she gave Yongsun a lingering kiss on the forehead, and Yongsun closed her eyes at the tender feeling. “You cut class, that’s a first.” Byul laughed, trying to lighten the mood, which have worked because she saw the ends of Yongsun’s lips turn upward a little. 

“It’s nothing, I can keep up.” 

“I know, I know. You’re the smartest girl I know...” Byul chuckled, releasing herself away gently from Yongsun, and continued packing her things, her heart heavy as she kept her tears at bay, keeping her back to face Yongsun. 

“Am I?” there was that teasing tone at Yongsun’s voice, oh how she’s going to miss this. 

Byul released a heartfelt chuckle, and she felt arms around her shoulders and a heavy weight pressing on her. Yongsun is hugging her, and she relaxed at the intimate contact. “Hm... That’s right. You’re the smartest.”

“Don’t let Wheein nor Hwasa hear those, or they wouldn’t like it very much.” Yongsun teased, and Byul smiled at that. 

She turned and hugged Yongsun once again, tight and needing. The kind of hug that implies the need for comfort, and as if she’ll never be able to do it again. Because maybe, it’s the truth. 

‘But no... I’ll do something, I won’t give in to him this easily, not again...’ Byul thought. She promised and she will do just that. She will try, even if it meant disrespecting her father. Because at this moment, he didn’t deserve anymore of hers. 

---

“You’re going already?” Yongsun’s voice were soft as she asked. Both were cuddling in bed, Yongsun’s head by the crook of Byul’s neck, and Byul’s hands gently caresses Yongsun’s hair. Making the older girl feel relaxed under her touch. 

“Yes...” Byul didn’t want to give any more detail. She’d rather have Yongsun think of the lesser goods rather than have her crying again because of her attempted lies. 

“Cuddle with me a little longer...?”  it was a weak plead, and Byul didn’t have the heart to refuse. Never will she ever reject Yongsun — not in any life time.

So she smiled, and encircled her arms around Yongsun’s smaller frame. Spooning her and kissing her head in the process. She will be leaving after, might as well hold her closer than ever before she thinks of a way out of her father’s grip. “Of course...”

They stayed like that for minutes, enjoying each other’s company, and somehow both mutually understanding that something wasn’t right. That something was about to go wrong, but neither did spoke a word about it. Instead, they cuddled and lived on the intimate moment.

But after a while, everything were short lived as Byul’s phone suddenly rang. Byul blindly reached for it, and seeing the callers’ ID hitched her breathing and she froze. ‘Already...’ 

Yongsun noticed her stiffness, “What’s wrong, Byul...?” 

Byul cleared and dismissed the call before placing it inside her pocket. She sat up, taking Yongsun along with her as she gave her an assuring smile. “Nothing’s wrong, it’s just grandma... I think I better go now.” 

She tried to be as composed as she can. Her words as true as they can be. She wanted everything to be fine. 

“I-Is that so...?” Byul sensed the sadness in Yongsun’s voice, and she couldn’t do anything but to once again comfort her with an assuring lie — which she’s a little confident enough to make them true. 

“Y-Yeah... But don’t worry, I’ll be back. Okay? It’s just for a short while...” 

“Yeah...” 

Byul planted another kiss on the older girl’s forehead before giving her the smile that she knew would charm her everytime. Yongsun did love her greasiness, just like how she loved everything about Yongsun. 

Byul then took her bag, and was ready to go when Yongsun suddenly hugged her. Byul felt that she was trembling, she didn’t know it would be this hard. 

“Hey...” 

“Y-You won’t leave me. You’ll be back...  Promise me you will...” and that’s when Byul broke into her pitiful tears. God, how she loved this girl so much. 

She dropped her bag and locked Yongsun in an embrace that poured all of her feelings, and soon then pressed their lips together. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, but then, Byul knew they’re feeling the right emotion at the moment. She never wanted to leave this girl she loved most, ever again. 

“Yes, yes, I promise... I will be back...” she wiped Yongsun’s tears with her thumb before kissing her on the lips softly once more. “I’m not going to leave you just like that, ever again. I promise...” 

After a few parting cries and love felt confessions, Byul was out of the door with Yongsun looking at her as she left the premises. Soon, her ride was in front of her and all she could ever do was smile at Yongsun and wave her good bye. There was a painful tug in her chest as the car moved away, and all she could see was Yongsun’s shrinking figure. 

---

Yongsun watched as the car roared away, and numbly, her tears started falling once again. She maybe a little naive, but she knows that something was wrong. She knew that somehow, Byul was not telling the truth, but she trusted Byul. She trusted Byul more than anyone, and so she will be okay. 

“Come back to me.... Byul...”

---

Uhhh... Hi? Is anyone still reading this? I'm such a lazy author, I don't even know what I'm doing with my life anymore, hahaha. Here's an update, it's been so long that I'm losing track of everything. But we're nearing the end, that's all I can say. This is just a soft kind of story anyway, not much twists and drama in it. So, uhh, thank you for those who'll still read this, and for those who won't, I understand xD I don't like myself either, I'm a definition of my pet peeves in an author. Anyway, good day everyone~