Dear Diary,

It has now been a full week since I have last written in you. And so much has happened.

Let me break it down for you. 

Drama, crush, rehearsals, korean Thanksgiving: That is pretty much everything that happened. 

Korean Thanksgiving was fun. I spent it with my family and we had a ton of good food. It was like heaven it was amazing. Especially since I had that day off.

And then our group of back-up dancers and IU practiced A LOT. Like 10 hour days practices. And then we had 4 different performances as well. It was insane. I had to be surrounded by nutjobs for that long. Luckily, she didn't really try anything to me while there were others around but she definitely did do something. 

Since I didn't really get to see my friend too much this past week as practice was hard for us both, I only got to see him in passing. It was kind of sad actually but that isn't the point here. The point is that IU would stick to him like glue everytime.

As if it wasn't bad enough, if we would even start to strike a conversation she would come and interrupt us. And he is too nice to say anything but at this point it was just stupid. So, I decided to confront her today about it as it can't get much worse than cutting my hair off right? No. It can get worse.

So while I was finding dirt on her, I guess she was doing the same as well. And she found out the one thing I did not want anyone to know about.

My crush.

RIDICULOUS RIGHT? Like how - HOW - did she find out?! 

So, she threatened me with telling him about my feelings. And I honestly thought she was joking. Like he would believe anything that comes out of but when she called out for his name as he was passing by, I couldn't help but stop her. 

I am so not ready for any of that to be exposed let alone, have him know. It would be downright humiliating. Therefore, she wanted to make a deal with me, to keep her quiet.

It was horrible. It was like a life or death decision.

She promised to not tell him if I stayed away from my friend. No contact, no more practices - nothing. What the hell was I supposed to do!!

And you know what idiot move I made in that moment? Yeah... I think you can figure it out. God, how I wish I could take it back.

When I saw him in the hall after that, I had to avoid him. He probably figured I just wanted to go home but how am I going to explain it when I avoid him later? 

So, what should I do Diary? Should I let my crush find out? Should I tell him myself before she gets the chance to? Or should I try to meet with my friend in secret? 

Heavens, save my soul. You know, when I thought I got into this business, little did I know that my life was gonna . And I would have to deal with high school girls again.

Think of me, Diary as these next couple of days are going to be hell. 

Let's just hope I make the right choices.

XOXO

Arya