Hwangbo’s POV

“Please Hyun Joong.” I begged, tears are nearly coming. But then he doesn’t answer. He opened the door and let me sit on the passenger seat and he walked on the other side of the car. He opened the door and sat beside me. Now I can smell alcohol. “Stop this.”

“Shut up.” Finally he answered, but he’s not looking at me, he’s looking straight at the steering wheel and his voice is full of anger … and hatred.

But then, I have to be brave… I don’t know why, but I feel I have to.

“Stop this you’re drunk!” I reached for the door and tried to open it, but his hands are so fast. He held my arms and pulled me, causing me to face him. “What – Hmmm~”

He kissed me.

A rough and deep one.  I tried to push him but he didn’t even move. He continued it. This is the first time he did this to me. His lips are soft, as ever. But the kiss… d@mn, I never wanted it to be like this. It is full of anger. And hatred. He hates me… no, loathes me. And still he’s kissing me. Why?

He is trying to open my mouth. But I didn’t respond and pushed him harder. I want this kiss, I really do, but not now. Not him like this. I want this kiss to be passionate and full of love… like before.

My heart breaks into pieces as I remember the way we are before. I thought I completely moved on… But I’m so wrong. The tears that I am holding a while ago are now flowing on my face. I stopped pushing him. I’m tired. I don’t know where to start again…

He stopped kissing me. Maybe he noticed that I’m not pushing him already, or maybe he noticed that I’m crying.

“Hey…”  He said. I can’t look him in the eyes. I just looked at my lap, with tears still flowing. I really hate him for doing this to me. I really hate myself for realizing that thing. “Look at me.” He held my face and brushed my tears off, but I pushed his hands off my face.

“D-don’t touch me.” I said, trembling.

“I’m… sorry. I--” I finally reached for the car door and walked out. I don’t want to hear him now. I can’t. What happened now are so heady, I really can’t take it anymore.

***

Third day of photo shoot.

I didn’t go to studio yesterday. I arranged some papers in the office, and besides, I don’t want to see him. But now~ Ugh, they want me there, so I really need to go.

I drove up to the studio, and when I entered they are already starting. A male model wearing a pink and white shirt that I made is sitting at the sofa and a human-sized Barbie wearing a pink dress is beside him. Second pose, he is already facing the Barbie and pouting. Maybe the photographer wants him to kiss the Barbie. Oh, the concept is so cute, full of pink!

They changed the batch of clothes the female models are going to wear for today, and they need my approval. Oh, so that’s it. I wish they just called me.

I and a staff went to the dressing room while talking. They changed the batch of clothes the female models are going to wear for today, and they need my approval. Oh, so that’s it. I wish they just called me. When we reached the room, he showed me the batch they’re saying. I momentarily scanned the hanged clothes. And they’re fine for me so I agreed. After a little conversation I went outside to see what’s going on the main studio. It is now set with a black car, the one with no roof. A human-sized Barbie with a black dress and intensified make-up is standing there. She’s more of an American rocker, I swear. On the driver’s seat beside her is him, wearing a black shirt. The photographer is still standing there, getting good shots.

I suddenly remembered what happened the other night, even what happened when we were together. Those happy times are coming back to me as I watch him. It is as if I am the Barbie and he is beside me, smiling. We were happy. Now what happened to us?

 I felt my cheeks tensed and my heart ached. I tried to breathe hard, many times, but still the feeling did not lessen. My eyes are starting to feel like burning up. Anytime my tears are coming again, but I held them in. I must not cry.

“Uhm… Ma’am, are you alright?” Said the staff beside me.

“Of course! Why?”

“You’re… crying.” W-what?! Am I?

I touched my face to assure it, and it’s true. I have few tears on my face right now. “Err. It’s… nothing.” I said smiling, and walked out of the room. I sat on a bench near it and continued crying. I never want this to happen. I just wanted to be happy but where did that dream go? What did we do to end it like this? Is it my fault? No it’s his and his d@mn agreement with Seung Hyun. But… I did not listen to him. I never did. I also have a fault.

Hyun Joong’s POV

“Hold the Barbie’s hand.” The gay photographer said. “Then smile. A big one! I want to see happiness in black!” He continued blabbering. But how can I smile if what happened the other night ended like that?

I just want to tell that I still love her and that I’m jealous if she’s with another man. I don’t know what they did after their meeting at the café. My plan of stalking them vanished in a second. That man is so tricky! Hmmm. Maybe they did the S thing.

No. No Hyun Joong of course not! Hwangbo is not like that!!!

But what if that bastard did the move? No! I’ll kill him with my bear hands if he did that to her!

Oh my God I’m going crazy! I never felt this jealous before!  Those thoughts are coming again! Those were the reasons why I drink beer last time. Because I thought they had… Ugh. Can’t stop thinking those again!

I wish she is as near as this Barbie. I wish this Barbie is my Hwangbo…

Speaking of Hwangbo, I heard a while ago that she needs to be here to arrange some things so maybe she’s here now. My eyes roamed around the room to search for her, and viola! She’s on the side… and she’s watching on us. No, she’s watching on only me. Her eyes are on me, but I think her mind is not here. She’s thinking something… Or someone. Is she thinking that bastard? Ugh, my blood is raging again!

Suddenly I saw a crystal thing flowing on her face. No. Is she crying? But why? Is it because of him?

She briefly talked to the staff beside him and then she walked out of the room. I got curious so I excuse myself for a while. Well actually the photographer did not want me to go but I don’t need his rants so I walked out. I saw her sitting on a bench outside. I had second thoughts, but I decided to sit beside her. Right now she’s looking at her fingers which are resting on her lap. Her long hair is covering her face. She’s trying to make her breathing steady. She even wipe her tears.

“Uh…” I’m trying to search for words. I don’t want this to be awkward. Wait, this is my chance. “Why did you left?”

“I want to get some fresh air. And you?”

“Well… I... Uh, followed you.” I breathed. “You were crying… right?”

“N-no… Of course not.”

“Tell me. Is it because of him?”

“What?” He finally faced me. Her eyes gone big, the tears are not there already but then they left a sign that she cried.

“Please tell me… I hate to see you crying because of a man.”

“Really? But you made me cry…” Her eyes are looking straight to mine, as if looking for reasons why I did that. But… “Please, just leave me alone.”

I’m not that surprised that she doesn’t like to see me. Fool me, I always wanted to see her, not even thinking that she doesn’t. I’m so selfish. I never cared about her feelings. It’s always me, and what will I feel.

But I just want to explain. Everything that she didn’t know. Including my true feelings. Until now, even if it’s late, I still want to explain.

Maybe this is not the time yet. I stood and walked slowly away from her. She doesn’t want to see me. But is she still mad? She’s really calm now, though she cried. She didn’t raise her voice. She didn’t slap me. Why is she not mad?

“Are you still mad at me?” I don’t know but I said that without even thinking. I faced her again. She’s still sitting.

“M-Me?” She’s stuttering. Another batch of tears are coming up again. I can’t look straight at her eyes. I can’t see her crying. I am most afraid of her when she’s crying. She stood up, still crying. “Know what Hyun Joong, you shouldn’t ask me that.” She breathed while wiping her tears, but the tears are flowing non-stop. “Yes. My mind is saying that I’m angry at you. It even says that you should burn to hell now! But my heart? I don’t know. If you only know…”

“If I only know what?” Another slip from my big mouth. Ugh. I’m sorry I can’t help to ask. She did not continue it. The eyes that was looking at me a while ago were gone. They are now looking at the floor. Now what does she want to say? I wish she’ll say, “If you only knew how much I love you.” then maybe I’ll say that I love her too, then I will start to explain.

“Ugh, just leave.”

“I won’t. Now what?” I don’t know but I’m smiling. I’m crazy, I know. Ten seconds and she didn’t answer. She’s just looking at me with an amused expression. After that ten seconds, I realized that I’m walking towards her already. “Then, let me finish that for you.” Sometimes, my craziness . But when I think that I’m crazy because of her, it doesn’t anymore. Actually, I like the way I am now. “If you only knew that the agreement proved that I really do love you, then it will not be this way. I am… really sorry for  hurting you. I never really wanted us to be like this.”  

She’s still looking at me, brushing her tears off second-after-second, lightly sobbing.

, did I say something wrong?

Is it because now that I confessed, she’s finding it hard to choose between me and the bastard she’s crying on? Or is it because… She doesn’t want to hear those words…

Is it really too late for me?

I can’t think of anything. Maybe it’s time for me to go.

I walked away, with my head down. It hurts a lot knowing that she doesn’t love me anymore.

I think my tears that I held for months are starting to fall again. Why is our destiny this bad? I only want to hug her again, to feel her love even. But why is it hard to attain now?

I’m so hopeless.

I am –

“If you only knew how much I love you…” I stopped walking. Is it true? Am I dreaming? I just said that I want a hug and now it’s happening… It is. Yes it’s true! “Please don’t leave!” She said while hugging me from the back.

“I knew it.” I faced her while flashing my biggest smile I ever did She smiled back. That means were ok so I didn’t hesitate to move my face closer to hers, I just want to give her a peck.But when I almost reached her face her hands are preventing my face. This girl!

“No kisses.”

“What?!”

“Not until you explain.”

“Explain what?”

“The agreement.” She shrug.

“Oh.  I will. And you have to explain too.”

“About what?” Her eyes are now like question marks.

“Your boyfriend.”

“I don’t have.”

“Really. And who is the one I spanked?”

“Oh my God Hyun Joong. Brian’s a friend! He’s getting married anyway, and I’m designing the bride’s gown..” Oh. I’m feeling guilty. “Now explain.”

And of course I explained. She didn’t interfere me. She listened to every word, trying to digest them. I’m happy, at least now I can explain my side.

“I swear, that time I really really want to explain my side. I’m not afraid of your reaction, because I know that if I say I love you after that explanation, you will listen to me. I actually didn’t expect that Seunghyun will be caught also. If I was earlier than him, then I know you will understand.”

“Yes I’ll do.”

“So. Don’t leave again without listening to me. Ok?”

“Hmmm. Ok.” She smiled. How I missed that smile.

“Promise?”

“Yes. Promise.”

“Till forever?” I demanded for a pinky swear. Back then I thought pinky swears are so gay, but right now, I don’t even give a d@mn.

She continued smiling as her pinky met mine. “Till forever.”

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I didn't make a promise, did I?

Ok, since we have no classes for 4 straight days, I had time to update. *grins*

I'm sorry it took super late, but I had busy schedule started last month... Upto now. >___< I'm just lucky that we had 4 days vacation because of typhoon. Hihi.

Anyways, I hope you guys like the ending and I hope it's not that gayish for you. Ugh.

Please continue supporting me even the characters in my next story is not Joongbo ^__^ Speaking of that, I'll update my next story soon, maybe if I got enough time. :D

I will edit some parts of this story. Maybe elaborating some chapters. Again, if I got enough time. But I'll surely edit it so I'm not yet making this story a complete one. :D

Thank you for everyone who read this! *bows low* I really apprecaited it. 

Love love love,

bunnyTOP lalala~