Kim was dressed in a filmy white dress that swayed gently in the breeze. Her long, black hair was hanging in soft curls around her shoulders. She was surrounded by fragrant flowers.

They were on for a shooting in what would be like an ethereal soap but for some reason, it was a setting that brought back the images of things that happened three years ago.

Her white dress and the fragrant flowers reminded her of the day when they shoot the wedding scene for My Girl. She recalled how excited and nervous she was back then as if she was really tying the knot, but now, everything felt entirely different.

“Okay, cut!” That was a good take!” The director gave her a thumbs-up sign for a job well done. Kim was just glad that they were almost done.

“Thanks Direk.” She replied good-naturedly.

“You can take a break for now. We’ll have another take in thirty minutes.”

Kim nodded and proceeded to her van. Gone was her happy smile. She couldn’t wait to be alone where she could just be herself.

Three years had passed since Gerald left. She still thinks that she was blessed enough because despite the break off of their love team their mother network still made sure that she had ample projects may it be on TV or on the big screen. Product endorsements still poured in and most importantly Kimeralds around the world still gave her their unwavering support.

As soon as her tired back touched the comfortable seat of her van, her eyes immediately shut and her mind proceeded to its usual secret musings.

“Ano ba talaga tayo?” She heard herself say.

“Tayo yung gulong one and two. Hindi tatakbo yung isa, kung wala yung isa.” An imaginary voice replied.

Those were such familiar lines that meant a lot to her and for the past few years, she had been feeling quite that way. Sure, she was able convince the people around her that she was alright but there was no telling how difficult of a ride it had been, for the simple reason that she was alone.

She was just working for the sake of working. There was none to really look forward to. Her life revolved around tapings, shootings, pictorials and everything that she needed to do. She was surrounded by famous people and people think she had everything…

But Kim was no longer happy.

Her career was at its peak and she had everything going on for her but it was not just enough. Nevertheless, she was thankful to God, her family and some good friends for helping her get by. Still, there was this missing pat.

“Dapat ba akong mag celebrate na I was able to get by all these years?” This was just one of the many times that she talked to herself. A tear fell down her cheek. “Siguro nga nakayanan ko pero bakit malungkot pa din ako?”

“Perfect! That was very good, Kim!”

Kim opened her eyes and saw Enchong. She had left the car door open.

“Ha? What are you talking about?”

“You. You’re practicing some lines, aren’t you?” Enchong guessed.

Kim didn’t know what to say. He will never understand anyway and so she simply smiled.

“I brought you something to drink…” Enchong handed her a bottle of C2 and grinned.

Kim was hesitant whether to take it or not.

That drink reminded her of someone very special. Was it too long ago when they used to share that particular refreshment?

“Kim?”

“Ha?” Kim had to pinch herself from her reminiscing. She shouldn’t be so obvious that she was not really into their conversation. She was not in the mood to talk with Enchong for she’d really rather be alone. “Thanks for this…”

“You’re welcome.”

Enchong must have sensed that she wanted to be by herself. “Sige Kim, I’ll be right there.” He pointed to a certain corner.

When alone, Kim opened the bottle and stared glumly at it. After a few seconds, she drank some and replaced the cap.

“Kimmy, iyo ba to? Painom ha?” She thought she heard Gerald candidly say.

Kim smiled sheepishly as she recalled how she and Gerald used to share drinks while inside the Big Brother house. She just couldn’t share that drink with anyone else but him.

“Excuse me, Kim.” The production assistant called out in a respectable distance. “We’re getting ready for the next take…”

“Okay! I’ll be right there.” She answered and ended her reverie. She used to look forward to tapings and shootings like this.

“Action!”

Automatically, Enchong placed his hand over hers as the scene that they were shooting demanded for persons who were so in love with each other. He looked at her with loving eyes and Kim was supposed to give the same look but for some reason, she burst into uncontrollable laughter.

“I’m sorry…” Kim bit her lower lip just to stop herself from laughing.

“Kim naman, nakakatawa ba ako?” Enchong remarked.

She was almost tempted to say yes but rather shook her head. When Enchong fixed his gaze upon her, she couldn’t stop herself from laughing. He looked like someone who was begging and so it didn’t appear to be the look of love that the director was asking. Kim also felt awkward having Enchong’s hand on hers and she didn’t feel too comfortable with his gaze.

If it were Gerald, she would have melted instantly. She felt her blood went up to her cheeks at the notion but scolded herself the next minute for allowing Gerald to invade her thoughts again.

“Okay, let’s take two!” the director yelled.

And just when Enchong’s lips was about to meet hers, the director shouted with a resounding “Cut”.

Kim turned around and before she knew it, they were all ready to call it a day, much to her relief. She had agreed to do projects with different on-screen partners but always refused to do kissing scenes with any of them.

She just didn’t think she could do so.

Not with anybody else.

“Hey Kimmy!”

Kim turned around and saw Enchong running after her.

“Yes?”

“Can I invite you out for dinner? Maaga pa naman para umuwi.”

Kim smiled at him. “I’m sorry, Enchong. I’m not feeling well. Masakit na kasi ang ulo ko.” She politely declined. “Thanks for inviting me though.”

“It’s okay. Pahinga ka na lang.” Enchong smiled likewise. “Next time na lang siguro?”

“We will see…” Kim replied before she went into her van. “Bye!”

Her life had been like that since Gerald left. She was like a robot that had to do things for the sake of doing so. She just goes out to work and when the day was done, she was in a hurry to go home. At 21, Kim rarely spends time out with friends. Even her dad, during one of his regular visits to Kim, expressed his worry that Kim might be taking life too seriously. He even spelled out that she’s now eligible to get herself a boyfriend. Had her dad said those words three years ago, she might be exhilarated but now, the said statement only roused a blank expression from Kim.

On her way home, Kim busied herself by looking at the throng of people going here and there. She was amused at the sights and boy, she didn’t even realized till now that the streets were now full of Christmas decorations. Christmas had always been her favorite time of year.

She sighed at the thought that it was the fourth Christmas since Gerald left for the States. She could not deny to herself how much she misses him during the supposed merry season because for some reason she always get sick on Christmas Eve and her “Christmas flu” would only be cured on the 26th. If her family had any theory on her weird Yuletide affliction, nobody dare say it in front of her.

“Kuya Fredo?” She called out to her driver all of a sudden. “Pwede po ba tayong dumaan muna sa Jolibee?”

“Jolibee? Naku gusto ko yan.” Her yaya responded. “Gutom na din ako. Sige Kuya Fredo, sa Jolibee tayo.”

“Si Ate Tata talaga o!” Kim laughed.

“Ako na lang ang mag-order.” Ate Tata volunteered as soon as they parked. “Dito na lang kayo.”

Kim asked for Jolly hotdog and fries while Kuya Fredo opted for a Chicken Burger. While her yaya was inside, Kim’s attention was caught by a lady who entered the fast food. She was acknowledged by a guy who was obviously waiting for her inside. The couple hugged that very moment.

Kim looked away. constricted and her heart skipped a few beats. What she just witnessed was something close to her heart. Didn’t that happen to her and Gerald before? Wasn’t that a hug that felt so good? She can very well recall what happened. Gerald had to leave the Big Brother Island House ahead of the rest and it was the saddest point that time. She was afraid she’d never be able to see him again and she was so sad. But when she got back to Manila and saw Gerald first thing in the morning and the next was history…

It was a hug that she will never get tired of remembering and that was their first. Well technically, not their first-first hug because they’ve hugged several times during the PBB stint but it was the first hug that she etched forever in her heart.

After an hour, Kim wearily walked towards the door of her newly completed dream house in one of the middle class subdivisions in Quezon City. Yes, if it’s any consolation her years of hard work had earned her this abode. It was a Japanese-Italian inspired four-bedroom home with simple, clean lines and very relaxing color scheme of white, green and brown. Kim’s fondness to the color pink was never obvious in the house façade or in its well-crafted interior because at the time that the house was being designed, she wanted the house to scream of an “all-new and more mature” Kim. All her pink stuff, a quarter of which were given by Gerald, was stashed away in one of her three walk-in closets.

As she opened the door, Kim caught a whiff of Lavender coming from the aroma therapy candles strategically scattered in her living room. The scent, according to the sales assistant at the spa she frequent, has the relaxing and soothing effects so she bought it immediately because that’s exactly what she needed… something to relax her mind and soothe her heart.

Kim proceeded to place the bouquet given by one of her fans at the foot of the modern altar situated across the living room and whispered a short prayer to the image of the Sacred Heart. When at the corner of her eye she saw a familiar figure standing…

“Ate Kim!” came a booming voice.

If she was surprised to see Gerald’s younger brother in her living room. She almost had a heart attack because she thought she was seeing Gerald himself. The last time she saw Ken, about a couple of years ago, he was this tall, fair, slightly chubby teenager with an always teasing glint in his eyes. The man who was standing before her was more of a replica of Gerald except probably for the eyes because the older Anderson’s sport a more brooding aura.

“Kumusta ka na?” She asked. Still almost out of breath.

“I’m good! Handsome as ever.” Ken replied as he approached Kim, engulfed her in a bear hug and gave her a swift kiss on the cheek.

“Talaga lang ha?” She laughed. “Okay, I believe you. So, what brought you here? Grabe ang tagal mong di nagpakitang mokong ka!”

“Sorry Ate, di na ako nakapagpaalam before I left for the States. Kuya encouraged, or should I say, bribed me to enroll at MIT too. So when I got in, I had no choice but to immediately pack my things and flew to Boston.” Ken explained.

“So, sinong naiwan dyan sa bahay nyo?” Kim wanted to ask this question for the longest time. The house that Gerald built three years ago was just one block away from her current home. The location is actually the primary reason why she chose to build her dream house in the same subdivision. Aside from the proximity to the studio, the idea of having Gerald as a neighbor was really a deciding factor for Kim.

“Ah, pinapa-rent muna ni Kuya. Alam mo naman di ba most of his savings from showbiz he’s already spending for his education. He got in with partial scholarship but education in the US is really expensive. Tapos tinutulungan din nya ako with my tuition fee. So he sends the rental money that he earns from the house to GenSan para kina Ate at Mama.”

Kim nodded. Understanding that, same as her, Gerald also wanted to help his family.

Kim still has a thousand questions to ask Ken but she stopped herself from voicing them out because Ken might think she was too interested.

Breaking the odd silence, Ken handed Kim a box.

“Ayan Ate Kim, Merry Christmas daw from my equally handsome brother.” Ken said with a wink.

“Thank you. Pakisabi sa Kuya mo sana di na sya mag-abala. Madami rin pala syang gastusin ngayon.” Kim didn’t know what else to say. Gerald had always sent her and her family gifts during Christmas and birthdays. Last year it was Tita Vangie who personally delivered his Christmas gifts to them. The year before, it was his Daddy Randy. All the birthday gifts he would normally have couriered directly to the recipients.

At first, she didn’t know what to make of his gestures because she didn’t want to get her hopes high and then be disappointed, once again at the end. So every time she receives a gift from him she would just extend her gratitude by saying thank you to the messenger or sending him a generic thank you card. As the years progressed, she just credit all thoughtful presents to his really good nature. She, of all people, knew how kind-hearted Gerald is.

But unknown to everyone, she never opened any of the gifts that Gerald had sent her. They just sit at one corner of her room.

“Kumusta na si…si Kuya mo?” She could not even say his name.

“He’s doing great. Having fun and busy at school. He’ll graduate na rin in a couple of years at the most. Sipag kasi mag-advance classes kaya baka he would graduate earlier than his batchmates.” Ken answered. “Ikaw ate, how are you na?”

“Fine, I’m fine!” She tried to inject as much enthusiasm in her voice.

“Tuloy ba ang show nyo sa Boston?”

“Yes, sa 22nd. Two weeks from now.”

“I’ll talk to Kuya later. I’ll tell him not to make any plans on that day para naman magkita kayo…”

Kim didn’t know what to say. She didn’t realize till now that Gerald will be around the area by the time she’ll be in Boston because as far as she knows he tries to spend time with his family in Missouri during the holidays. Ken meant well of course but if ever Gerald would go, she wanted him to do it out of his own will and not because someone told him to.

“I hate to admit it but you know what Ate? Namimiss ko rin dito sa Pilipinas. Doon kasi kami lang ni Kuya, although fun naman sya kasama, namimiss ko rin sina mama, tapos ang FAB boys. Tsaka iba talaga lifestyle dun, we do all the chores. E si Kuya neat freak pa so lagi nya akong pinapagalitan pag nakakalat yung mga gamit ko. Minsan nga feeling ko nag-a-adopose na yun e. Ang sungit kasi.”

“Halika nga dito.” Kim placed an arm over his shoulders. She had always treated Ken like her own brother.

“Alam mo ikaw, matanda ka na rin. Siguro kaya ka pinapagalitan ng Kuya mo kasi tamad ka!” Kim replied jokingly then continued, “Pero I know your Kuya only means well…”

Kim knew that more than comforting Ken, her last statement was directed to her.

Gerald meant well but still…she missed him and her feelings remained the same after all these years…