Gerald didn’t want to leave her just like that.

There were still a lot of things that he wanted to know and things that he wanted to say. He just didn’t know what they were yet. It didn’t help either to see Kim crying for it was breaking his heart that she was hurting.

As Gerald sat in his car, he just stared blankly at the steering wheel. A roller coaster of emotions banged his chest. When he first learned from the management that Kim no longer wanted to push through with their love team, he was hurt and confused. Now that Kim had told him why, his confusion doubled.

“Damn!” He cursed under his breath as he turned the ignition on. He couldn’t even get himself to move. “What now, Anderson? What now?” He muttered.

It wasn’t just about the love team or his showbiz career that was bothering him. It was their friendship that’s at stake in this situation.

He wasn’t sure how he should take Kim’s bold declaration an hour ago. Was he that dense that he didn’t have the slightest idea that his partner has been in love for him for years? That unconsciously, during some of their ‘talks’, he was already breaking her heart?

Gerald could see Kim’s room from where he was. Its darkness perfectly captured his emotions at that moment. Lost. Hopeless. Regretful.

He has yet to come to terms with the fact that starting that day Kim will not be a constant element in his life.

As if on auto-pilot, Gerald started to drive without knowing where to go…

He got home without his knowledge and slumped on the couch. His head was full and he felt sick. He wished that Ken and his Mom hadn’t left for General Santos earlier that day. He badly needed someone to talk to.

As he stood up, he accidentally hit one of the picture frames that were on the side table with his hand. He picked it up from the floor and his heart clenched when he realized the image that’s in it.

It was actually a picture given to them by a fan during one of the Aalog-alog tapings. Taken without their knowledge, the picture perfectly captured his hand lightly holding hers.

The picture was just a representative of how close they have become.

He was so accustomed to her presence that it was like second nature for him to hold her hand when he felt like she needed support or comfort. He took it upon himself to take care of her because he knows her past, her apprehensions, and her fears.

Little did he know that she was seeing everything in a different light.

Honestly, he didn’t mean to make her fall for him. In fact it was the opposite of what he wanted…

During their PBB days, Gerald could not deny the fact that Kim has this certain ‘pull’ on him. His fondness to her sunny personality was very obvious to the viewers of the said reality show. He even came to a point when he talked with Mikee and declared his intent of courting Kim…

But once they went back to the real world and the daily grind of their budding showbiz careers took its toll on him, he realized that having Kim as his girlfriend was not the way to go.

He’s had three girlfriends in the past. All of them left him for reasons not clear to him up to now. Whatever happened between him and his past relationships, he would not want to happen to him and Kim. He could never risk losing her because he knew that she plays a key part in his life.

And since then he decided that he will be the best friend that Kim never had. He tried his best to teach his heart not to beat for her and slowly learned to take off his rose-colored glasses whenever he’s looking at her… and he believed he had succeeded.

For a couple of years now he has managed to keep their relationship platonic. Sure he still took the liberty of acting as her “mother hen” but he prided himself for not making any advances on her. Moreover, he trained himself to direct his amorous endeavors to other girls who he finds interesting.

He was happy with the set up. But apparently she wasn’t.

In times like these, he would normally contact Kim to sound off his innermost thoughts.

Now, even if he wanted to, Gerald had to stop himself from dialing her number. He had no one to talk to anymore and he felt so lonely.

“I’m sorry, I can’t get to the phone right now…Please leave your number and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can…Thank you for calling!”

“Shoot! Where is everybody?” Gerald asked himself and pinched his nose in collective despair. Mommy Vangie and Ken were not around, he couldn’t talk to Kim and his Dad wasn’t around either.

“Hello?” A voice answered from the other end of the line just when he was about to hang up after leaving a message.

“Dad!” Gerald let out a sigh of relief. “I thought you were not home.”

“I was just going out…”

“Are you in a hurry, Dad?”

“Not if you need me, son.” Randy Anderson answered. He could tell that Gerald was not alright. “What’s wrong, RJ?”

“I just need someone to talk to. Mom and Ken are not around.”

“What about Kim?” His father inquired and Gerald didn’t know how to answer him. His Dad had always been so fond of Kim and knew that they were as close as two friends could be. He loved her like his own daughter. “RJ?”

“Dad? Can I ask you something?” He asked. He avoided his father’s question about Kim. His father meant well of course but he just didn’t know how to answer him.

“Of course…”

“When Mom decided to leave, how did you feel about it?” His voice was a little squeaky.

“I was hurt.” Randy admitted. “But it was all I could do to make her happy. I also had my share of faults but I have learned and grown from it. We wanted to stay together if only for you and Ken’s sake but as for ourselves, things were no longer working out.”

Gerald closed his eyes for the umpteenth time that evening. Maybe Kim was also putting their love team and careers into consideration, like his parents did for him and Ken but all the while, it was already hurting her.

“Is your girlfriend breaking up with you?” He heard his father asked after a moment of silence.

Gerald faked out a laugh. “No Dad!” He answered. “I don’t even have a girlfriend in the first place.”

Surprisingly, it was the simple truth. Since PBB, he never had a girlfriend. Gerald felt that it would be unfair for the girl if he could not devote enough time for her due to the demand of his showbiz career. Yes, he went out on dates. Got to know a few girls he was genuinely interested in but he never pursued them.

“I was just kidding but you know, you had me thinking…You sound so sad and for the first time, you dared to ask me about how I felt when your Mom left.”

“So you wanted her to be happy that’s why you let her go?” Gerald asked once again. He was glad to have this talk with his Dad.

“Yes, sometimes it has to be that way.”

“Do you have any regrets about it?”

“Regrets?” Randy Anderson turned silent for a second. “There was a time when I thought about it and asked myself, what if I made her stay? What if I begged her to stay? It would have made a difference but looking back to the past, letting her go was the only way that I could make your Mom happy. It was the least I could do to make for the pains that I caused her.”

Gerald realized something about what his father told him yet he was not sure if he was up to it.

“But if there’s one thing that I do not and will never regret, that’s having you and Ken. I will always thank God and your mother for both of you.”

“Thanks Dad. I love you, you know.”

“I love you too, RJ.”

Gerald couldn’t help but sob. He missed his Dad more than he ever did.

“RJ, I just want you to remember one thing.” Randy added. “There are things in life that we have to let go. The people we love can be among them but then, letting go does not necessarily mean that you are giving them up. You just want them to be happy.”

“I’ll remember that.” Gerald sniffed. “And Dad, I miss you. I wish I could just hug you right now.”

“That makes two of us.”

When the conversation ended, Gerald felt better but only after a few minutes, his thoughts went back to Kim. All the while, he thought it was just friendship. How could he be so dense that he didn’t see things coming?

He didn’t know where to go from here…