Kim woke up from her dreamless slumber when she heard the constant buzz of the doorbell. She looked at the digital alarm clock on her right side table. It registered 10:15 AM. 10:15 AM?! All traces of her drugged state flew off the window as the sudden realization of how late she was for a showbiz commitment dawned on her. Last time she checked her schedule, she was supposed to guest in Boy and Kris that morning.

Impossible as it may seem, Kim was ready to go in about 15 minutes. Wearing a floral-printed sun dress and strappy, white platform shoes, Kim ran down the two flights of stairs only to crash into something hard… and warm?

“Oopsie! Dahan-dahan Kimmy, walang sunog.” Gerald exclaimed as his left hands quickly caught her by the waist and steadied her.

Kim was left breathless, not only by the “almost” accident but by the sight before her.

“A… e… late na kasi ako. Bakit ka ba nandito? Saan ka galing? What time ka nakauwi kagabi?” Kim knew that her sudden litany was caused by a kick of adrenaline rush.

“Whew! That’s a mouthful. Madam, can we sit for a while? Then I’ll answer your questions one by one.”

Kim allowed him to lead her to the comfortable white couch in the center of her living room. Her heartbeat has yet to return to its normal pace. Thanks to Gerald’s hand which never left the small of her back while they walked to her favorite piece of furniture.

She deposited herself at the right corner of the long couch while Gerald sat comfortably a feet away from her. After about five seconds of complete silence, Gerald turned to her and smiled cautiously.

“So ano na?” She probed as she looked at him straight in the eye.

“Anong, ano na?” Gerald asked back, obviously confused by her question.

Kim let out an exasperated sigh and said, “Ano nang sagot dun sa mga tanong ko kanina?”

“A yun ba?! First, I got a message from Ate Imee telling me that my guesting in Boy & Kris was cancelled since you’re sick. Apparently, Ms. Kris didn’t want to push through with the interview if we’re not guesting together so they have rescheduled it to next week. Kaya you need not worry, di ka late and you have the whole day to rest.”

“Ganun ba? Naku bakit di na lang ako ginising ni Ate Imee or tinext agad… nagmadali pa naman ako.”

“I believe Ate Imee tried to get in touch with you earlier this morning pero mukhang tulog mantika ka e. So that’s the answer to your second question. Andito po ako para abisuhan kita. And in relation to that, I came straight from home, remember the one that’s just a block from here, which also happens to be the same house that I went home to last night at exactly 7:45. So did I answer all your questions Ms. Chiu? ”

She knew that Gerald was just stating facts but she can’t help but feel the electricity coursing through her veins as he looked at her intensely while answering all her nonsensical questions. For a moment there Kim was drawn by his smiling face.

Good thing Ate Tata chose that moment to make her big announcement.

“Kim, Ge, mag-breakfast muna kayo dito. Nagluto ako ng champorado at crispy danggit.” Ate Tata’s familiar, shrill voice called her consciousness back to Earth.

“Tara kain na muna tayo ng breakfast.” She blurted out as she stood up from the couch and lead the way to the spacious lanai.

Gerald, taken aback by the unexpected invitation, followed suit. He was walking a couple of steps behind her, silently drinking in Kim’s sublime beauty. He also took advantage of the time to remind himself of the reason why he was there in the first place. He was on a mission that morning.

“Wow…” Gerald murmured his amazement to himself. That one word says it all when he saw the lanai. It was an open area with clear fiber glass roofing. A wall which turned out to be a modern water fall was the first thing that caught his attention. The area surrounding it has a zen-inspired landscape and was accentuated with a modest-sized infinity pool. Right in the middle of the lanai is a wooden table surrounded by four wooden chairs of different styles. Like the rest of her house, the view before him looked like a cutout picture from a Home & Style magazine. But for him, the best feature of the room was the girl standing by the table whose hair was being delicately blown by the wind. The sun shone on her face as if paying homage to her innate beauty.

Then he caught a whiff of sweetness, the aroma of the hot champorado lured Gerald back to reality.

“Psst! Upo ka na.” Kim casually pointed to one of the white chairs.

He sat on the chair opposite Kim. As if on auto-pilot, Kim served him a bowl of Ate Tata’s special porridge and neatly placed on his plate two pieces of crispy danggit.

Gerald silently observed her doing all these things for him. He missed this… Kim, taking care of him. His earlier resolve to let his intentions be known to her became stronger at that moment.

“A… Kim, can we talk? I have a few things to clear…”

Sensing that something serious was coming up, Kim candidly cut through his statement. “Ang seryoso mo naman! Alam mo mas mahirap matunawan pag seryoso agad ang topic sa umaga.”

Gerald looked down at his untouched bowl of champorado and stammered, “Okay. Maybe we could talk after we eat?” He asked tentatively.

“Oo nga pagkakain na lang.” Kim still tried to lighten up the mood.

For about thirty minutes, Kim and Gerald managed to finish their breakfast and kill the frequent dead airs with small talks.

Kim deliberately took her sweet time in finishing her breakfast not only to savor Ate Tata’s masterpiece that morning but also to buy more time to compose herself for whatever was coming her way.

Once Gerald saw that Kim has spooned the last of the rich porridge, he already took a deep breath and braced himself for the expected onslaught of emotions he’d be having in a short while.

He caught Kim’s attention by first clearing his throat and smiling at her. He began, “So Kim, pwede na ba tayong mag-usap?”

“Sige…” Kim tried her best to sound and act nonchalant about Gerald’s strange demeanor that morning.
“Before I start, nga pala, will you promise that you would let me finish first with what I’d like to say to you and save your piece for later?”

The only reaction that he got from her was an apprehensive nod.

Gerald bowed his head and threw a short and silent prayer to God then reached out for both of her hands for dear life, and with all his heart professed…

“Okay Kimmy, here it goes… I love you.” He looked intently to her eyes, trying to read any sign of hope as the words spilled out of his mouth.

Kim not exactly sure if she heard what he said correctly thought aloud, “Totoo bang sinasabi mo?”

“Kim you promised, you’d let me finish first…” He said with pleading eyes.

She took a deep, long, breath, not sure if her fragile heart could take more of what he’s about to say.
“Sorry, you may continue.” She tried to pull her hands from his but failed to do so because his grasp only tightened around hers.

He, on the other hand, seeing the uncertainty in her eyes, bowed his head. He dared not look at her as he continued.

“Kim, you may not believe me now but I hope you’d give me a chance to prove myself, to prove my love for you. For the past five years I have longed for and dreaded for this moment to come. I didn’t even plan to ‘fess up in broad daylight, I was thinking, actually planning, that I’d be able to admit this to you after a romantic dinner or something…. Am I babbling right now?”

Gerald stopped then, realizing that the words coming out of his mouth are far from those he carefully chose, structured and practiced at home.

“Can you give me a couple of minutes to regroup? I didn’t know I’ll at this love declaration thing.” Had he delivered those words at a different time, he’s sure that it would illicit a different reaction from Kim, not the blank look she was giving him now. With that he let go of her hand, stood up and walked towards one corner of the lanai, taking in deep breaths with each step. An overwhelming mix of emotions - excitement, fear, frustration, love, engulfed him. He tried his best to control them and the tears that were starting to form in his eyes.

At the same moment, Kim just stared at his rigid back, channeling all her energy in restraining herself from embracing the man she once loved. And still loves. She didn’t realize that fresh tears were now rolling down her stoic face.

To be honest, her heart was elated when she first heard those magic words from him but her mind ran double time and as if in a movie gave her an instant flashback of what really happened in the past seven years.

Their first meeting inside the PBB house.
Their dishwashing moment that signaled the start of a friendship.
The time he held her hand while they were blindfolded and going to Hundred Islands.
Their “I miss you” hug, with Jollibee as a witness.
The kulitan in the set of all their shows.
Their long hours of chikahan over the phone even if they just spent practically the whole day together.
Their first onscreen kiss which made her realize how hard she had already fallen for her best friend.
The time she “accidentally” saw him on a date with a very pretty, mestiza girl.
The 30-minute call she endured while Gerald raved on about the perfect girl he dated the other day.
The heartache that she nursed since then…

At the thought, she immediately composed herself, drying off the tears with the back of her hand. And when she was sure that she could trust her voice to be steady she called him out.

“Gerald, may sasabihin ka pa ba?” She was proud of herself of how firm her soft voice came out.

His next actions were truly unexpected. He once again turned towards her. Walked slowly to her side of the table and knelt before her. He gingerly traced her face with the pad his thumb as if memorizing her every feature. He let his eyes do the talking this time as he looked at her with so much intensity and pure love. He cautiously kissed the tip of her nose, and when his heart could not hold back any longer, he whispered “I love you Kim. I love you.”

For a second or two, time stood still for Kim. Her earlier resolve was a bit shaken with his emotional declaration. She tried to shut her eyes hoping that once she opened them, he would be gone from her sight. But that was not the case. As she slowly opened her eyes, he was still kneeling before her, looking at her expectantly.

“A…. Gerald, are you done. I mean tapos na ba yung sasabihin mo?”

He nodded.

“Okay, before I talk, can you please stand up and sit over there?” What Kim said didn’t sound like a request so Gerald obliged. He got up to his feet and sat on the chair opposite her.

“Okay, where should I start?” Kim searched her mind with the correct words. She didn’t trust her heart this time to speak on her behalf.

“Regarding what you’ve said earlier. Ge, sa tingin ko we’re really better off as friends.”

Gerald snapped out of his thoughts when he heard what Kim said and his initial reaction was to appeal. “Kimmy…”

“Ge, let me finish first, okay?” Kim cut his plea short.

“We managed to live the past five years without each other so I don’t think it would be hard for us to remain as is. If you want to make a showbiz comeback, I’m okay with that but I do not think that it’s good if we revive our loveteam. I believe you have the capacity to shine on your own. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m open with doing projects with you.”

When she tried to get a glimpse of him, she could see defeat in his eyes.

“Ge, honestly, this decision is also hard for me. Once in my life I hoped and prayed that you would profess your love for me. There was even a time that I thought your love is the only thing that could complete me. But it’s been five years and, and in those times that you were not by my side I’ve learned to let go…”

“Kim, I’m sorry. I knew now that leaving you five years ago was a wrong decision. I love you then. I was just so stupid to admit it to myself. You know, I also suffered that time. I missed you badly but I promised myself that I would not come back to you unless I’m sure that I could offer my heart to you in a platter. And that’s now.” Gerald answered fervently.

“Ge, please stop. Let’s not complicate things again okay? I am sure that we’ll get through this. It may be just a phase for you. I love my life right now. Please don’t take it away from me. I’m still your friend right? Don’t you want your friend to be happy?” Kim pleaded.

Kim’s heart was rebelling with all the words that came out of . Good thing she was a trained actress, else her pain right now would have been too transparent. She kept convincing herself that she’s just doing and saying all these for self preservation. She dared not give in to false hopes and this was her way of protecting herself from even worse heartaches in the future.

Gerald was caught off guard by Kim’s last statement. He felt for her. What she asked of him would cost him a lot particularly his heart but he heard her. And if only to repay her for all the hurt and pain that he have caused her in the past, he was now considering giving in to her plea.

“Kim, can I ask you a big favor?” He mumbled.

“Sure, we’re friends right?” Kim was proud of herself, her voice didn’t give a hint of her emotional turmoil.

“Will you let me hug you? Please? Just for a minute.”

She knew both of them needed this. So she stood up and went to his side and then opened her arms to welcome his hug.

For a while, they just stayed in each other’s arms.

Kim basked in the warmth of his embrace. Her heart was too busy savoring the moment and securing it in her “Kimerald” volt.

Gerald took this chance to encapsulate as much of Kim. He breathed in the scent of her hair, capturing its unique aroma to his memory. Knowing that this would probably the last time he’d be able to hold her like this.

When he was sure that he had his fill of her to last him a lifetime, he dropped a final kiss on her downy hair and made his decision.

He chose not to look at her so he buried his face at the hollow of her neck as he said.

“Kim, this is really hard for me but if that’s what you want then let it be. I love you and your wish is my command.”

To which Kim softly replied. “Thank you Ge. Friends?”

“Yeah… friends.” He was aware that his voice broke as he said the last word.

He gently let go of her then smiled at her reassuringly and without another word walked out of the room.

It was only when she heard the sound of the closing door that Kim allowed herself to cry for her lost love.